Showing posts with label preserves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label preserves. Show all posts

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Lemon Chutney - 2009 (redux)!

LEMON CHUTNEY:  You won't believe this but... the last two batches of lemon chutney spontaneously combusted.  *poof* gone.  Just like that.  Tasted really good, though.  So, I am making two more batches of lemon chutney.


Directions for 32-36 large lemons:
  1. Lemons, pt 1: 
    • Microplane or zest lemons (finely mince zest if necessary)
    • Supreme and section, reserving the seeds and discarding all pith and membrane.
  2. Combine zest with lemon pulp into glass or earthenware container (my grandmother's Hull beanpot works great for this, you might use a tagine or Pyrex covered dish) with 8 T of sea salt. Let sit overnight or several hours The lemon pulp will release plenty of juice!
  3. The next day, strain the salty lemon pulp and zest, reserving the liquid. Divide evenly by weight using a kitchen scale (this was 4#  of pulp and zest in my case, with 2 c of juice), and put into two separate pots. 
  4. Divide reserved juice evenly by volume into the two pots.  Squeeze enough lemons to bring you up to 2 cups of lemon juice, if necessary (don't forget to zest the lemons, first and chuck that in as well.



    Sweet(er)

    • 2 lb lemon zest & pulp
    • 1 c fresh lemon juice
    • 1 c cider vinegar
    • 3 T finely minced fresh ginger

    • 2 oz minced garlic  
    • 1 c raisins
    • 8 oz chopped sweet red pepper
    • .5 large white or yellow onion, chopped
    • 1/2 - 3/4 c chopped dried apricots
    • 2 c unrefined sugar (without molasses)
    • 2 c sucanat or brown sugar

    • Grind in spice grinder & add to pot 1 tsp each: hulled green cardamom, coriander, whole clove, whole allspice, fenugreek seed, yellow mustard seed
    Lemon & Sweet Red Pepper


    • 2 lb lemon zest & pulp
    • 1 c fresh lemon juice
    • 1 c cider vinegar
    • 3 T finely minced fresh ginger

    • 2.5 oz minced garlic
    • 1 c raisins
    • 16 oz chopped sweet red pepper
    • 1.5 large white or yellow onion, chopped
    • 1 lb sucanat (about 3 c)
    • 2 t cayenne pepper flakes


    • Grind in spice grinder & add to pot 1 tsp each: hulled green cardamom, white pepper, coriander, fenugreek, black mustard




  5. Put seeds into cheesecloth if there were a significant amount - otherwise, don't worry - it's a chutney and you don't need a ton of pectin to set it like a jam or jelly.
  6. Cook everything for 60 minutes or so until it reaches the right consistency.
  7. Remove cheesecloth with lemon seeds. Let sit overnight. Taste, adjust seasonings or ingredients (additional lemon juice, more ginger or chili, for example).
  8. Heat up, taste again, when satisfied, put into clean, hot mason jars and hot water bath can.

Yield: TBD

SWEET & FRUITY LEMON CHUTNEY
8 - 4 oz jars sweet lemon chutney
3 - 8 oz jars sweet lemon chutney

LEMON & SWEET RED PEPPER CHUTNEY
9 - 4 oz jars lemon & sweet red pepper chutney
4 - 8 oz jars lemon & sweet red pepper chutney

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Lemon Chutney - 2009!

LEMON CHUTNEY: Despite using a microplane, I was still up til 2:30 zesting and supreming lemons.  Refinements on last recipes, below.


Directions for 32-36 large lemons:
  1. Lemons, pt 1: 
    • Microplane or zest lemons (finely mince zest if necessary)
    • Supreme and section, reserving the seeds and discarding all pith and membrane.
  2. Combine zest with lemon pulp into glass or earthenware container (my grandmother's Hull beanpot works great for this, you might use a tagine or Pyrex covered dish) with 8 T of sea salt. Let sit overnight. The lemon pulp will release plenty of juice!
  3. Lemons, pt 2: Zest, halve and juice enough lemons to get 2 cups of lemon juice
  4. The next day, strain the salty lemon pulp and zest, reserving the liquid. Divide evenly by weight using a kitchen scale (this was 3# 13 oz of pulp and zest in my case, with 2 c of juice), and put into two separate pots. Divide reserved juice evenly by volume into the two pots, as well as any  reserved extra zest.
  5. Mise-en-place for two batches of chutney as follows:



    Sweet(er)

    1.75 lb lemon zest &  pulp, prepared as above
    1 c fresh lemon juice
    1 c cider vinegar
    3 T finely minced fresh ginger

    1 c raisins
    1/2 - 3/4 c chopped dried apricots
    1/2 c currants

    2 c unrefined sugar (without molasses)
    1 c organic brown sugar


    1 t cayenne pepper flakes


    1 Tb salt

    Grind in spice grinder & add to pot 1 tsp each: hulled green cardamom, coriander, whole clove, whole allspice, fenugreek seed, yellow mustard seed


    Lemon & Sweet Red Pepper


    1.75 lb lemon zest &  pulp, prepared as above
    1 c fresh lemon juice
    1 c cider vinegar
    3 T finely minced fresh ginger

    2 oz minced garlic

    1 c raisins
    4 oz chopped sweet red pepper
    1 large white or yellow onion, chopped (about 8 oz)

    1 lb succanat (about 3 c)



    2 t cayenne pepper flakes

    1 Tb salt

    Grind in spice grinder & add to pot 1 tsp each: hulled green cardamom, white pepper, coriander, fenugreek, black mustard





  6. Put seeds into cheesecloth if there were a significant amount - otherwise, don't worry - it's a chutney and you don't need a ton of pectin to set it like a jam or jelly.
  7. Cook everything for 60 minutes or so until it reaches the right consistency.
  8. Remove cheesecloth with lemon seeds. Let sit overnight. Taste, adjust seasonings or ingredients (additional lemon juice, more ginger or chili, for example).
  9. Heat up, taste again, when satisfied, put into clean, hot mason jars and hot water bath can.

Yield: TBD

SWEET & FRUITY CHUTNEY


LEMON & SWEET RED PEPPER CHUTNEY

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Persimmon Rose Preserves

Today, I decided to put away the rest of my persimmon pulp in the freezer, in 2 cup batches, for future use in salad dressing.  The last 6 cups, unpureed pulp, became an other batch of preserves - with a hint of rose - it came out absolutely fantastic:

Ingredients:
  • 6 c persimmon pulp
  • 2.5 c sugar
  • 1/4 rose water
  • pectin per instructions
YIELD:
6 - 8 oz jars
6 - 4 oz jars

Monday, November 23, 2009

Persimmon Jam

PERSIMMONS are a bit tricky.  They are not exactly chop or mash-able.  So, I put them in the blender and whiz them - but that introduces a few air bubbles into the puree.  It spreads really nicely on dehydrator sheets for fruit leather, though.  Since persimmon pulp is taking over my fridge, I decided to try making some jam out of the pulp - put it in the blender and ended up with a thick, persimmon-butter like jam.  It's so good - my taster says that he can't believe that there are no other spices added because the persimmon flavor is so rich and yet so subtle and complex.

INGREDIENTS:
  • 12 cups of pureed persimmon pulp
  • 3 cups of sugar
  • pectin as directed by Pomona's Pectin
NOTES:
Heat up the puree in the pot before adding the sugar.  It helps if you thoroughly mix the pectin with the sugar, first.  However, since the persimmon is so thick - I found that the sugar and pectin didn't dissolve very well.  Next time, I will try reserving some of the puree mix the pectin and sugar in the blender before adding it to the rest of the pulp already hot in the pot.

YIELD:
  • 11 - 8 oz jars persimmon jam
  • 5 - 4 oz jars persimmon jam

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Applesauce!

I love applesauce.  I hate quartering, coring and peeling apples.  I've been doing it since I was 10 years old - and always found that the hand pain was just no fun at all.  This year, I decided to try something easier - I halved the apples and used a melon baller to scoop the cores, cooked up the apples and then put them through the food mill attachment for my Kitchen Aid.

I was amazed and pleased to discover that this worked a lot more easily - with no clogs! - than the tomatoes!  And, in fact, there was way less waste than if I had cleaned the apples by hand!  I ended up with about 2 cups of skins & centers from the apples instead of a whole bowlful of seeds & cores.

Next time - I'm just going to quarter them and leave the seeds/cores and run the cooked apples through the food mill.  Even less work!  Even less waste!

YIELD:

8 - 16 oz jars of applesauce

Friday, November 20, 2009

Strawberry Jam, Redux

The strawberry jam I made in June was tasty but - it wasn't the deep ruby red color that I wanted.  I wasn't sure quite what happened there, til I came across this fantastic Bay Area Bites article on Strawberry Jam using directions based on a Helen Witty "Good Stuff Cookbook" recipe.

The basic premise is simple - macerate with sugar, capture the juices, simmer the juices to syrup, add berries, put in jars - voila! No pectin!

  1. Weigh your strawbs, add the sugar and some lemon and let it macerate in a non-reactive container - overnight in the fridge of several hours on the counter at room temperature, stirring occasionally to get the sugar mixed in and dissolved.  
  2. Heat in a pot and bring to a simmer for a couple minutes.
  3. Return berries & juice to non-reactive container for a few more hours or overnight.
  4. Sterilize your jars - I like to wash mine in hot water and keep the in the oven at 150 on a cookie sheet.
  5. Strain the berries from the juice. 
  6. Simmer the heck out of the juice until it starts turning into a syrup
  7. Add the berries.  Mash if necessary (I sliced mine before macerating).
  8. Simmer again until the berries are translucent and the jam thickens.
  9. All usual tests for setting apply.
  10. Put into hot sterilized jars, seal and lick all your spatulas, spoons and fingers before washing them.  OK, that last bit wsn't in the instructions but it happens.
INGREDIENTS:
  • 3 lbs berries
  • 3 cups sugar
  • 1 lemon, juiced
YIELD:
4 - 8 oz jars strawberry jam
2 - 4 oz jars strawberry jam

Friday, October 02, 2009

Quince - the Final Chapter for 2009

While we were enjoying the fire in the backyard and preparing to render five pounds of red jalapenos into charcoal, the rest of the quince were simmering away on the stove. I did one pot of quince preserves in big chunks with very light syrup and spices, and one pot of compote with dried cherries and figs added - and that one certainly came out beautifully!

YIELD:

3 quart jars of quince preserves
2 quart jars of quince-cherry-fig compote
2 - 12 oz jars of quince-cherry-fig compote

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Quince Jelly

This year, my quince jelly came out a gorgeous shade of rose instead of a deep carnelian - perhaps because I used unrefined cane sugar (I may have used sucanat last year...). The half gallon jar of juice was so thick and syrupy without sugar - having soaked with a vanilla bean pod for a week - it was edible as it was and I nearly broke out my seltzer bottle to make it into quince soda!

However, preserving prevailed and I made a gorgous quince jelly instead:

YIELD:
6 - 12 oz jars quince jelly
3 - 4 oz jar quince jelly

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Quince - the Cleanup Recipes!

Ahh - the quince - I still have 25 quince, several are half mushy and six or so are bigger than my two fists together. Since I am out of all vinegar except balsamics (I KNOW? right??) - quince pickle is out, but I do have cranberries in the freezer so am going to make (drum roll) Quince Cranberry Compote. A compote is fruit cooked in sugar - you serve it over something like cake or ice cream. Or crepes.

So, tonight - I'll make quince jelly with the lovely half-gallon jar of juice, quince-cranberry compote and... I'm going to need to do something else with the quince. Poached? Time to go fill the hot water bath and get it started!

Quince Compote:
  • 2 lbs quince, quarter, peeled, cored & cut into 1/2" pieces
  • 8 c water
  • 2 c sugar
  • 12 cloves
  • 18 allspice berries
  • 2 Tb orange zest (wide strips)
  • 1 12-16 oz bag cranberries
  • 1 c currants
  • 1 cinnamon stick (3" long)
  • 1 vanilla pod
  • Blood orange vinegar, 1 Tb in each jar after filled
Combine water, sugar, spices and orange peel. Bring to boil, stirring, to dissolve sugar. Add quince. Reduce heat, cover pan and cook very slowly until fruit has turned a deep pink color, about 2 hours.

Sort and rinse cranberries, add to cooked quince. If mixture seems too dry, add a little more water or cranberry juice. Increase heat a little and cook cranberries until they begin to pop open, 12-to-15 minutes. Gently mix them with quince. Remove cinnamon & vanilla and pack jars. Add 1 Tb vinegar to each jar.

The compote is BEAUTIFUL!

YIELD:
5 16 oz jars
2 8 oz jars*

*In a very odd "first" - one of the wide mouth half pint jars cracked - the bottom of the jar broke right off, and the jar turned over, keeping most of the fruit inside the broken jar (which I saved for picture in the morning). This is only the 3rd mason jar I have ever broken. The 2nd was an empty half-gallon broken by a falling filled half pint. The 1st happened last year - a jar just cracked down the side when I put hot plum jelly into it. Are jars being made with less quality assurance these days? I have never had jars break like this in 20 year of canning!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Tomatoes, figs, dried fruit, and bake sale prep

DRIED TOMATOES: Friday, I received my 9-tray Excalibur dehydrator - a bargain at $149 for a refurbished demo model (not a refurbished customer model) with shipping included. It looks brand new -- it has no "blemishes" on the case as described in the Ebay ad and if I didn't know any better, I'd say it was new.

Saturday, I put it to work right away on some Principe Borghese tomatoes - they are smaller than some of my cherry tomatoes.

YIELD:
1 - 16 oz jar dried tomatoes
1 - 8 oz jar dried tomatoes

YELLOW KETCHUP: Sunday, I put a couple pots of tomatoes on -- one full of 5# of yellow and orange tomatoes for ketchup and another of around 6# for marinara sauce. For the ketchup, I found a lot of recipes and even one ketchup recipe on a site that lets you customize the yield and adjusts the quantities of ingredients.

TOMATO KETCHUP RECIPE:
  • 5# seeded and halved tomatoes - cook down and process in food mill to remove skins, return to pot.
Add:
  • 1/2 large onion, pureed in blender or food processor
  • 5 cloves garlic, pressed
In a small sauce pot, simmer:
  • 2 c apple cider vinegar
  • 1/2 stick Ceylon cinnamon
  • 1.5 Tbs cloves
  • 1 Tsp fenugreek seed
  • Pinch chili flakes
  • 1/2 tsp coriander seed

Reduce the vinegar by 50% over low flame (you don't want to boil it off too quickly!)

Strain and add vinegar to pot with tomato sauce, onion and garlic. Cook down and then put in a slow cooker on low until it reaches a consistency you like. Puree in blender to reduce the rest of onion & garlc pieces. Can or store in refrigerator.

YIELD:
4 c orange ketchup


TOMATO SAUCE: Six pounds of tomatoes cooks down to just enough sauce for two plates of fresh rotini pasta, and leftovers for four lunches, after you've added herbs and vegetables.

GARDEN MARINARA RECIPE: 6# fresh tomatoes, seeded & halved - cook down and process in food mill to remove skins, return to pot.

Sautee in olive oil until soft:
  • 1/2 large white onion, coarsely chopped
  • 1 red bell pepper, coarsely chopped

Add to sauce bring to simmer:
  • 4-5 2" basil plant tops, chiffonade & chopped
  • 4-5 2" oregano sprigs, chopped

10 4" zucchini (or courgettes) cut into 1/2" rounds, sauteed until soft - add to sauce right before serving.

YIELD: about 10 cups sauce with vegetables
2 dinners over fresh rotini pasta with bread
4 lunch portions of pasta sauce


FIG PRESERVES: James' mom brought us some delicious figs from her neighobor's garden in Sacramento. "I brought you four dozen figs!" she exclaimed. We we curious to know why the figure was so exact and then impressed with her genius -- to keep the very ripe figs from crushing under their weight, she put them into egg cartons!

I brought home 2 dozen figs and decided to turn them into jam.

RECIPE:
24 ripe figs, halved and mashed
1.5 c sugar
1/4 c lemon juice

Simmer figs in 1-2 cups of water until soft and mash. Measure - you should have about 4 cups of figs & water. Add the lemon juice and follow the pectin instructions -- in my case, 3 tsp of calcium water, and 4 tsp of pectin added to the sugar before mixing it into the preserves.

YIELD:
2 12 oz recycled jars, stored in the fridge (one for me, one for James)

DEHYDRATING: The new Excalibur works great! I dried tomatoes. Lots of tomatoes. The Principe Borghese tomatoes from Saturday came out on Sunday and are about the size of dried cherries. I also dried some of the other cherry tomatoes -- the volunteer cherries came out about the same as the Principe Borghese, while the Black Cherry, Blondkopfchen and Aunt Ruby's Yellow Cherry tomatoes were a bit smaller.

I also put in the rest of the Asian pears I had been saving in the refrigerator, along with a whole cantalope sliced up, and the rest of the red flesh apples and a few other apples I had been saving.

YIELD:
1 1.5 liter baling wire jar of thin dried fruit slices (I'll try to photograph before I eat them all)


(UN)BAKING: Last but not least - I also put together a double batch of lemon bars from the "Joy of Vegan Baking" cookbook, and started the Cafe Gratitude raw coconut cream pie recipe (but ran out of time and energy).


BIG THANKS to Lisa for coming over and helping to halve and seed tomatoes for the dehydrator, mill tomatoes, clean dishes and keep me company - we had a lot of fun for a few hours and it was really good to have some help. She also loaned her slow cooker so I could put the ketchup in it overnight.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Quince Butter, Round 2

Tonight, I was determined to make membrillo. I took the last 8 cups of quince pulp, added some juice and water to puree it in the blender, measured the sugar and pectin and cooked. And cooked - we're going on four hours now and I don't think it's going to be membrillo, so this, too, will be quince butter.

I also took the rest of the first membrillo attempt, added juice and pectin to it and made it into a nice thick but still liquid quince butter. I just hope it is still spreadable once it cools -- I'm afraid the first batch of quince butter is going to be rather firm and sticky, ideal for crispy toast or spreading on a slice of manchego (for those non-vegans) but not so good for soft bread. Might make a killer filling between two pizzelles, though.

I confess that this stuff is probably really good out of the jar with a spoon but I'll pass along those calories to my friends and family instead.

YIELD:

Quince butter #1 (super caramelized, same as Monday's batch)
4 - 12 oz jars
8 - 8 oz jars
1 - 4 oz jar
plus one 10 oz jar that went into the fridge.

Quince butter #2 (dark pink)
12 - 8 oz jars

Monday, September 15, 2008

Quince Preserves

The membrillo just didn't behave. All I can imagine is that there wasn't enough pectin in the fruit - perhaps it wasn't ripe enough. The quince paste has caramelized to a deep dark brown, it tastes great but it's not membrillo. It has the rich, dark, sweet texture of my favorite apple butter from cider mills in Ohio and Michigan -- most apple butter I find these days is just slightly thicker than apple sauce.

Tonight, I heated up a batch and put it into 4 oz jars, and labelled it:

Quince Butter

YIELD:
10 4 oz jars

I'm going heat up the rest of the quince paste and add pectin to see if that helps it out. I still have about 8 cups of quince pulp in the refrigerator and I'm going to add a shitload of pectin to it to make it set very hard. I will have membrillo, dammit!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Quince-o-Rama

IMGP8049

Wednesday night, I spent about five hours peeling, quartering and coring 25# of quince. My plan was to use the juicer to process the quince -- taking the juice for jelly and using the pulp to make membrillo.

Sadly, this experiment did not work. The quince just aren't juicy enough. I cooked down all the quince and set the mash to drain in the colanders overnight, reserving about 1.5 gallons of juice for jelly.

Today, I took a PTO day to finish up the quince. I really wanted to get this mess out of my kitchen. I still have 15# of Asian pears in my refrigerator to manage!

IMGP8064

QUINCE JELLY: The quince jelly turned out great -- it set nicely, though I think I boiled it down a bit too much and could have had more jars if I hadn't been distracted with outher housework.

YIELD:
14 8 oz jars

MEMBRILLO: Next project was to make membrillo. I used the leftover pulp for one batch and the juice/mash from the juicer for another batch. I followed the instructions and added equal weight of sugar to fruit and it got thick. It got like molten lava. The spoon could stand up and jumbo drops of molten quince goo came out of the pot and to burn my arm and leave blisters. I figured, it was ready. I put the quince goo into baking dishes (and some onto a silicone mat on a half-sheet) and put it in the oven at 125 to set.

But, after 8 hours in the oven, it didn't set. It's going to stay in the oven overnight in the hopes that it reduces enough.

Membrillo

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Peach Chutney Two Ways

Reviewing recipes for peach chutney, I didn't find anything that really excited me. I wanted to do two versions -- one dark and smoky, one lighter with a bit of spice but more sweet. Here's what I have, so far, and this may change as I amend what's on the stove.
Peach Chutney - Base Ingredients:

5# Peaches, pitted & halved*
2.5 c (10 oz) chopped red bell pepper
3 c (10 oz) chopped white onion
2.5 oz chopped garlic
4 oz chopped fresh ginger (mince very fine or pulse in food processor)**
1/2 stick Ceylon cinnamon
2.25 c apple cider vinegar

Combine ingredients in pot and turn on med-low. Pick a variation or make your own.

*You might want to crush the peaches or coarsely chop them. If they are really ripe, you can just mash them with your hands. I didn't peel the peaches, and for the underripe peaches, this resulted in some skins floating up and looking unattractive. With ripe peaches, skins/fuzz cook down nicely.

**The minced ginger still looks pretty chunky in my dark chutney; I might recommend pulverizing the heck out of it in a food processor or blender, or using preserved chopped ginger in a jar if you want it to really blend into the chutney.
Variation 1: Smoky Peach Chutney
Variation 2: Light Peach Chutney
4 oz chopped dried figs
1 tsp coriander seeds
1 tsp brown mustard seed
1/4 - 1/2 oz dried chipotle peppers*
1/4 tsp cardamom seeds
1.5 c Sucanat or Rapadura sugar
1.5 c dark brown sugar

Added 1# chopped peaches.

*Recommend putting the chipotle peppers in whole so that they are easier to extract. The chutney is pretty smokin' right now, and I am taking out pepper pieces so that it doesn't get too hot for anyone other than me and my crazy friends to eat.

4 oz chopped dates
2 tsp coriander seeds
1 tsp fenugreek
1 T red pepper flakes
2 tsp cardamom seeds
2 c unrefined cane sugar
1 c dark brown sugar
1/2 c rapadura


The onions and everything cooked down a lot nicer in the light chutney. The dark chutney is very chunky. I think I am going to be up for a while to let it simmer down more, rest it on the stove overnight and simmer more tomorrow.

Update: the chutneys both look really good and taste good. They will have to wait until this afternoon to get put into jars.

Update (2): the ginger softened quite a lot during the day, so I imagine after ripening in the jars, everything will be pretty soft. I adjusted the sugar (already reflected above).

YIELD:

Variation 1: Smoky Peach Chutney

1 - 12 oz
10 - 8 oz
6 - 4 oz

Variation 2: Light Peach Chutney
9 - 8 0z
6 - 4 oz


I'm out of small jars! I have a few 12 oz, and all the rest are pint and quart size. Tomorrow I'll do up the remaining peaches as Peach Jelly and it will all be in big jars. Family size.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Canned Apple Pie Filling

The test batch of apple pie filling on Wednesday went well but I was shocked at the shrinkage after 20 minutes of hot water bath! I had packed the apples flat to the bottom in layers, but ended up with about 2/3 of a jar of apple, 1/3 of syrup after the bath.

Friday, my dear friend Jonathan came over to visit and he helped to quarter and core the apples which I sliced and left the sliced quarters together so that I could pack them vertically in the jars. I got a lot more apple in the jar this way and am very satisfied with the results.

Jon was delighted with the apples from Lawrence's batch which he said tasted just like the apples from the tree in the backyard of his childhood home. He was rewarded for his efforts with a cache of jams, jellies & chutneys and a promise of apple pies for his birthday/housewarming party on Saturday.

YIELD:
2 - 1 qt Larissa's red flesh apples
5 - 1 qt Lawrence's tart-sweet green apples

Monday, July 14, 2008

More sorbet...

I'm on a roll, now. I made a batch of nectarine-mango sorbet, and peach sorbet with a bit of raspberries thrown in. I put a shot of vanilla stoli in each batch so it won't freeze too solid... and tomorrow, I get to pick apricots to make some jam.

Still have to re-cook the plum-habanero jelly and finish the quilt... and pack for my vacation: backpacking in Yosemite (2 nights) and then soaking at Harbin (3 nights). Pictures coming soon, I swear...