As I recall my personal history with videogames, everything leads back to Christmas 1988. I received a NES as a gift from my reluctant mother. She endured the Super Mario Bros. theme until it was stuck in her head. After a certain point, I remember her telling me, "nothing's going to come out of you playing those games all the time." After nearly four years at GameSpy and thousands of hours and (and dollars) sunk into gaming, I've come to a realization: She was right all along.

Perhaps you don't see it. I understand, since I struggled with this issue for years. As a child, I struggled with motor skills, and in retrospect, games did nothing for my reflexes. My hand-eye coordination was crap then, and it explains why I'm terrible online now against anyone -- even at Uno.

"C" shows a brain that's happy to see Nintendo's payola.

Reality check: All of those skills, from improved eyesight to enhanced cognitive abilities, are all excuses for university professors to keep siphoning funds and promoting themselves on the lecture circuit. So-called "experts" might claim that games like Brain Age help the elderly retain memory, but how much is Nintendo bribing them to say that? I bet this guy agrees.

I now believe that games are as mentally toxic as excessive drug abuse and electronic music. Maybe you don't realize it, but the more you play them, the more you're being sculpted into a ticking time bomb. Think about it: People who play first-person shooters are more likely to enlist in the military. They're a propaganda tool, and that's not just America's Army. Have you noticed how shooters affect your friends? They start just playing Call of Duty 4, but before you know it they're working out like crazy so that they can join the Marines.

Look out for your loved ones, since the signs of gaming addiction are quite apparent. The first warning sign of someone who's playing too much isn't a wild-eyed stare, it's a sculpted six-pack. When your friend is waking up at 5:30 in the morning to run four miles it's time for an intervention. Some people respond in different ways. Others play games about World War II, and then start reading history books about the war. I don't know about you, but I'm becoming rapidly convinced that these people are studying up to become killing machines.