Some stuff from lately!

Hello! Whilst I am enjoying yet another in a long string of cold and rainy days, I thought I would take to the wires to deliver some of the hottest stuff that's been on the radar lately here in stately Final Girl Manor.

First of all, let's get the promo out of the way:

We are on the HOME STRETCH over at The Detective and the Log Lady, the Twin Peaks podcast I'm doing with Mike Muncer of The Evolution of Horror. Can you believe it? Only a wee handful of episodes remaining in The Return and then some wrap-ups and then...I don't even want to think about "and then." Although I will not lie to you, The Return is often rather trying. It's on the upswing for sure, but also I don't want to get my hopes up about any of it. What a journey! Hear all about it at that link or, of course, wherever you get your podcasts.

In other podcastin' news, I recently made a return appearance on The Monday Afternoon Movie with the inimitable Sam Pancake. We dished on the 1970 made-for-TV film Ritual of Evil, starring Louis Jourdan and Anne Baxter, and the entire affair was a delight. Check it out at the link or, you know.

Now then, on to Franchises of the Heart! In which I ask: have you set a course for the Jason Universe? Pardon me, I mean the JASON UN1V3RSE?? 

Whatever that is. Apparently the lawsuit that I never really understood that blocked all sorts of new Friday the 13th things from happening has been settled, and so now all sorts of new Friday the 13th things will happen? The first of which is the launching of the JASON UN1V3RSE, which comprises one photo of a Greg Nicotero-designed Jason Voorhees. Is it actually a photo? Is it AI? I can't even tell anymore. Regardless, tell your eyes to BLAST OFF into the stars and take a peep:

I have seen many people lamenting his "regular dude" stature and bemoaning the lack of a "Kane Hodder" stature, but as a regular dude Jason enthusiast I think it's just fine. Nothing to really get excited about, nor anything to get all bent about. Call me when he moves!

Speaking of teaching an old slasher new tricks, there is another new Halloween iteration coming!!

Well, this is what I can only assume after noticing the pattern established by my handy "Halloweens per Pope" charts. I initially made this to reap some sweet sweet SEO rewards (don't ask me how I'll benefit or what that even means, really), but I thought of it too late and now Pope Fever seems to be dying down. However! I was shocked--SHOCKED--by these charts and at the risk of sounding like Laurie Strode of Arc or something, obviously it has been ordained by the great Haddonfield in the sky that a New Pope means a new era for Michael Myers. To wit:

HALLOWEENS PER POPE

SEE??! It's practically a guarantee. So at some point in the near future when everyone is arguing over the look of the new AI Michael Myers and saying "MORE Halloween? I thought David Gordon Green killed that shit off!", remember that you heard it here first.

Day 13 - "I got my beer, my sex partner...I'm fine."

Hey, happy Friday the 13th, everyone! Don't worry, despite the fact that nearly every entry in that storied franchise appeared on the big ol' list back in 2020, I'm not going to discuss any of the antics of Jason or Pamela or Roy today. Lawd knows I've talked and written and drawn more about it than any one simple human probably should. But still, today is a slasher high holiday, is it not? So I got out my oversized novelty magnifying glass (that is usually reserved for my detective work) and scoured the aforementioned list until a slasher I've never seen caught my eye, and that slasher is...

Widely considered one of the worst slasher films of all time, I had to give Blood Lake a chance and try to figure out what one brave citizen-reader might love about it enough to call it a favorite horror movie.

Ah, 1987. It was a time of tennis sweaters, Swatches, and barely-there muscle tees. It was not a time for slashers, as the heyday was well in the rearview mirror and the subgenre was drowning in the dregs. But "heyday"s and the such have never stopped anyone with a dream, and history has proven that there are countless people out there whose dream it is to make a slasher movie--especially people who have access to a camcorder.

Yes, Blood Lake is perhaps the quintessential shot-on-video slasher flick, filmed by a group of mostly-friends who basically said "Hey, want to make a horror movie?" while on vacation. Knowing that, you mostly know what you're going to get. Perhaps you will be more amenable to its charms if you've made one of these movies yourself, or if you're an SOV enthusiast. Even so, you might find that Blood Lake will truly test your mettle as you are pushed to the brink with how much padding you can endure.

That said, we do get a delightful kill in the first minute of the film, when our killer Jed (Tiny Frazier), sporting his signature look of tucking one pant leg into his cowboy boot (talk about iconic!), walks up to a gardener whilst brandishing a knife. The gardener says "I just work here," to which Jed replies "That's good enough for me!" and then stabs him. All this before the credits! 

Credits, I might add, that are accompanied by the mild hair metal stylings of an Oklahoma-local group called Voyager. Further, the credits are in the Garfield font and no matter how many sins Blood Lake might commit, I cannot and will not be mad at a horror movie that uses the Garfield font for its opening and closing credits. 

That there boss as hell t-top Firebird is driven by Mike (Doug Barry, who also wrote Blood Lake) (yes, Blood Lake had a writer), and his precious cargo includes not only that powerboat but also his girlfriend Becky, another couple (Kim and Bryan), tween girl Susan, and Mike's tween brother, THEEE real star of this show, Li'l Tony. Li'l Tony is the mulleted, punk-ass, misogynist, virgin sex pest 12-year-old who will delight you with lines like "Hey Mike, are you gonna be a butthole this weekend, or are you gonna let me drink?" I wish Li'l Tony was in every movie, horror or otherwise.

The King

This gang is headed to Becky's family's house (aka the family house of lead actress Angela Darter) for a weekend of the kinds of things that slasher movie characters get up to on their weekend getaways. But here's where Blood Lake differs from movies with, you know, actual budgets and production companies and actors: rather than actually doing the sex, they just talk about the sex they are gonna do. They do "party," by which I mean we watch them play a game of Quarters in real time as most of them turn down the joint being passed around, and one person "chugs" a third of a beer. It is a very long scene.

During the day, in another scene that is very long and then you think it's over and then it continues for a lot more time, the gang--joined now by a couple of local fellows--goes water skiing. This interminable passage is accompanied by a Voyager track, one whose sick guitar riffs and repeated cries of "feelin' freeeeeee!" will likely be stuck in your head for a while. I'm not sure whether or not that is a complaint, or if any of this is a complaint, really, because somehow--despite my brain rationally recognizing that I was mired in abject tedium--I was under the spell of Blood Lake's very distinct charms.

feelin' freeeeeee!

While watching Blood Lake, you would not be remiss if you found yourself wondering if that pre-credits kill was the only kill in the film. But lo! about an hour in, Jed makes his move. We get the de rigueur killer POV shot as he stalks his victims, but Jed-vision is red. Is this meant to imply that Jed is a Terminator? Or he is supernatural? Or is he literally "seeing red" because he is so mad? Blood Lake leaves the interpretation up to your discretion, because director Tim Boggs refuses to spoon-feed his audience.

A couple of people end up stabbed, and the effects are about what you'd expect from a backyard slasher movie with a likely budget of "pizza for the cast."

What are Jed's motivations for turning Lake Cedar, Oklahoma into Blood Lake, Oklahoma? Well, it turns out that Becky's father bought that house from him but never paid for it, which makes perfect sense if you think about it. (Don't think about it.) I will leave the bizarre coda for those of you brave (or foolish) enough to endure Blood Lake on your own. No need to thank me! Your inevitable joy over experiencing Li'l Tony is thanks enough.

Blood Lake features a moon shot, so you know it's night time

"Endure" really is the right word to use when it comes to this movie. It bears all the hallmarks of shot-on-video cinema: amateur acting, garbled sound, terrible effects, bad lighting, a dreadful pace, and on and on. But it's also true that "charming" is the right word to use for it, even if those charms will not be enough to carry it for the vast, vast majority of viewers (it definitely has that reputation I spoke of for a reason). 

Maybe it's because it captures and exudes that feeling of "Anybody wanna make a movie?" to those of us who have done that very same thing. Maybe it's because this group of friends actually feels like a group of friends, unlike the friends in every other slasher movie. Maybe it's because there's what's gotta be the Oklahoma of it all, which means characters can be oddly, unfailingly polite with each other, shaking hands and thanking a host for having them over to party. Maybe it's because characters will say things like "We shouldn't be fishing. We should be diving--muff diving!" but it's practically a PG-13 movie at best.

Maybe it's because Li'l Tony.

So, fair warning to those of you who may want to give it a go, you may regret that choice and every choice you ever made that led you to that moment. But to the reader who christened Blood Lake a favorite: you are seen. I see you. 

But as to why my POV is red, you'll never know!

SHOCKtober Day 3

While it will undoubtedly be one of the great trials of my life, I hereby promise that I will resist the urge to post about characters and/or """"characters"""" from the Friday the 13th film series daily for the remainder of SHOCKtober. As I said, it will be difficult to resist because is it truly a franchise rich in fuckery...but moreover, ever since I submerged myself in its depths while researching my book Death Count, I think about this series all the time. It has become a constant refrain! It might be driving me mad!

So to satisfy the relentless gnawing at the edges of my brain, I must post about someone from the series at least once this month, and today is that day! The day where I post about...

THE SURLY CASHIER IN FRIDAY THE 13th PART III (1982)

Gaze upon her, if you dare! The scowl. The cool-ass hair. The tank top featuring...it's not Miss Piggy, but it seems to be some kind of Mae West pig? The cocked hip. The flash of red-tipped fingernails on said hip. She hates her job and she hates every single one of us and I don't blame her one bit!

Jason Voorhees wouldn't dare try to take her down (before he could get within 20 feet of her the power of her side-eye would have him running right back into Crystal Lake to drown a second time), but if he did try--please note I said "try" because he would most definitely fail--this queen wouldn't be scared, she'd be irritated. The only character who might--might!--be angrier than her is Rhonda Johnson of Killer Workout. (Now, I'm not saying that I'll be talking about Rhonda at some point this month, but...I'll be talking about Rhonda at some point this month.)

Look, I am not going to sit here and ignore the cranky, racist elephant in the room. Gone-too-soon angel/light of my life Vera Sanchez takes a millisecond too long to find her wallet, sullen shopgirl pounces with "We don't accept no food stamps," and Vera gives a "this bitch..." for the ages.

But man, look at that (incredible) contrapposto shoulder line! Is her casual racism a surprise? No! Do I endorse it? Of course not! Is it one of the verrry few passing moments in the franchise that speaks to anything approaching some kind of substance? You could argue that!

Back in SHOCKtober 2020 (which somehow feels like it was a good 15 years ago?) I couldn't choose between Friday the 13th Part 2 and Part III in my Top 20 Faves list. Those two films are like the Grady Girls of my heart: definitely not twins but also sort of the same. I still can't choose! But given today's spotlight character...hmm, you know...maybe I can declare a winner once and for all. Just don't tell Part 2!

BLOODvember Day 13: FRIDAY THE 13th PART 2 (1981)

As you may know by now, I am nuts–NUTS I SAY–about the Friday the 13th series. I love the (relative) risks it's taken, I love its unabashed weirdness, I just...I don't know, at some point I really fell hard for this franchise. I'm not some big Jason fan, either! (At least, not after Part III.) I think maybe spending so much time with it when writing and drawing Death Count gave me some kind of Stockholm Syndrome or something because I feel a weird affection for the films in the series that I don't like...and trust me, the number of Friday films I don't like vastly outweighs the number I do (aka 1-3 and 5, if you must know).

For all the zillions of hours of Jason and Co, however, there's really only a small handful of moments that I've ever found legitimately scary. The biggest occurs near the end of Part 2, when Ginny is on the run from Jason and she comes across his little lean-to in the woods. She goes inside, thinking she might find help:

And boy oh boy! That's a terrible screencap, but seeing Jason through the window behind her, running toward the building, is downright terrifying. I love that he didn't disappear and they didn't try to build any mystery–you know, is he still following? Where will he appear? He's not trying to keep quiet. He's not trying to hide. He is still coming, running right at her. He knows exactly where she is. He's going to get to her, and he's going to kill her. It's just a really effective shot! That she's stumbled into his lair makes it even more frightening...and the fact that it's Baghead Jason chasing her makes it worth at least 100 chef kisses, for as all good people know, Baghead Jason is the best Jason.

Things to Wear, Things to See

Hello! Happy Friday the 13th to you. How will you be celebrating? Playing the game? Watching A New Beginning yet again? Let me tell you, friends, ever since I began loving Part V, my life has improved in countless ways. My hair is shinier and fuller, my IQ is up nearly three-quarters of a point, I am wary those damn enchiladas, and I now carry a picture of myself in my wallet everywhere I go. You could say I'm a hashtag blessed big dildo!

Anyway. Enough about me. OH WAIT IT'S NOT ENOUGH!

First of all, I know you know what's up, which means you're a fan of The Faculty of Horror. It's the horror podcast to end all horror podcasts, so I bet you can guess how stoked I was when they asked me to art up-n-design their limited edition Class of 2018 t-shirt. (Hint: I was wicked stoked!) (Okay that's not so much a "hint" as it is an "answer" but whatever.) And now this t-shirt is available for purchase! When purchased, it will be available for you to wear! ON YOUR BODY!

If you want it FOR YOUR BODY or to put on that weird mannequin you have in the corner of your bedroom (I'm not judging) (okay "weird" is a little judge-y but come on), well, here's the link.

"But what if I want some of your art to celebrate today's holiday but I don't have a body?" you might ask. Well, I would posit that you could gift the t-shirt to someone who does have a body. But! If you are only thinking about yourself, today is the perfect day for me to remind you about my book Death Count: All of the Deaths in the Friday the 13th Film Series, Illustrated. Buy it and see what someone probably called "Okay"!

As always on this most holy of days, I wish you all a ki ki ki and a ma ma ma.

Death Count Giveaway!

Man I tells ya, the warm reception that Death Count has gotten so far really warms me in my heart place.

The limited sketch edition has sold out, so thanks to everyone who picked one up! If you missed out, though, I've got good news: I'm doing a sketch edition giveaway! The winner will receive a copy of the book along with the Crystal Lake Kick Line sketch you see below! All you have to do is follow me on Instagram @finalgrrl and hashtag something or other with #f13DeathCount. I'll be drawing a winner on November 1st from everyone who hashtags and follows, so give it a go! A moment of social media pain is worth a lifetime of having this book and original art.

As you know, reader pics are my everything so keep 'em coming, I'll never get enough. And for real, the enthusiasm and all of it means the world.

The Death Count Continues...

Hey gang, just an update for those of you who have ordered Death Count directly from me: I had to wait until enough orders were in to buy copies in bulk. They've been ordered and they're on their way to me now. Signed copies will go out first as they're quicker! Sketch editions will go out in waves most likely (I walk to the post office and I can only carry so many), but I'm already working on sketches as they're on bookplates. Thanks to everyone who's picked up a copy, whether through me or through Amazon! I'm so happy you guys are digging it.

(Side note! Only seven sketch editions remain, grab one if you want one! For details on how to order a signed copy–check out this post.) [SKETCH EDITION IS SOLD OUT! SIGNED COPIES STILL AVAILABLE]

Death Count is on Kindle!

Hi there, I know you are probably tired of hearing about my new book Death Count but I am not tired of talking about it yet, so strap in!

The Kindle version is now available! It's taking a bit for Amazon to merge both print and futuristic cyber versions into one page, so for now CLICK HERE for the Kindle listing. If you're in the market for a print version, hey it's currently on sale for 10% off! CLICK HERE for that.

Hey look, it's all one listing now! CLICK HERE FOR PRINT OR FUTURISTIC KINDLE, YOUR CHOICE YES I'M YELLING.

I've got a mere ten SEVEN sketch edition slots remaining, and that's it! If you'd like one of those (or a signed edition), CLICK HERE for info. [SKETCH EDITION SOLD OUT! SIGNED COPIES AVAILABLE AT THE LINK]

And if you've picked it up already, first of all thank you! Let me know what you think and keep the pics coming, they're adding YEARS to my life!

SHOCKtober: 255-234

Aw yeah, firmly ensconced in the last of the twos. Each film got TWO VOTES EACH!

255. Demons 2 -- 1986, Lamberto Bava
254. Les diaboliques -- 1955, Henri-Georges Clouzot
253. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark -- 1973, John Newland
252. Don't Deliver Us from Evil -- 1971, Joël Séria
251. Don't Go in the House -- 1979, Joseph Ellison
250. Bram Stoker's Dracula -- 1992, Francis Ford Coppola
249. Eraserhead -- 1977, David Lynch
248. Final Destination -- 2000, James Wong
247. FleshEater -- 1988, S. William Hinzman
246. Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed -- 1969, Terence Fisher
245. Friday the 13th Part III -- 1982, Steve Miner
244. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter -- 1984, Joseph Zito
243. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood -- 1988, John Carl Buechler
242. From Dusk Till Dawn -- 1996, Robert Rodriguez
241. Funny Games -- 1997, Michael Haneke
240. Ghost Ship -- 2002, Steve Beck
239. Green Room -- 2015, Jeremy Saulnier
238. Gremlins -- 1984, Joe Dante
237. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer -- 1986, John McNaughton
236. Honeymoon -- 2014, Leigh Janiak
235. Horror Express -- 1972, Eugenio Martin
234. Horror of Dracula -- 1958, Terence Fisher

Wow, check out all those Friday the 13ths on this chunk o' list! Why, you know would go great with all these Friday mentions? A copy of my new book, Death Count! Just think, you two people who listed Part III (only two? for shame!) could bond over the movie and all my illustrations of the deaths therein. Even more importantly, you could bond over how great Chris Higgins is! Because she's so great! I am just saying. Death Count. Yeah.

I mean heck, if I can't pimp the book here, then where can I pimp it? And look! Amazon finally got the 'look inside' feature running so now you can–yes–look inside. Woo hoo! Chris Higgins!

A reminder!

I've gotten quite a warm reception and some very kind words about Death Count. I'm delighted that folks are delighted! Some people have even gone so far as to post pictures of the book or of themselves with the book and I love it so much...not to be greedy, I'm definitely hoping for some pets-with-Death Count shots in the future.

This is courtesy of our forever pal Jason at My New Plaid Pants!

If you've yet to get in on the hot, hot Death Count action, it's available at Amazon–they even discounted the price to $19.07, what a deal! I'm still working on the Kindle edition, hopefully I'll have that soon and I'll update.

Signed copies are still available directly from me for $19.95 , and there are also a few sketch editions left for $45. If you'd like a signed or sketched version, Paypal me at stacieponder (at) gmail dot com. If it's a sketch edition, be sure to tell me which character (from Part One–Jason X) you'd like! And be sure to include a mailing address. Sorry my dudes, sketch edition and signed copies are available in the US only. [SKETCH EDITION SOLD OUT! SIGNED COPIES STILL AVAILABLE]

I just really want to post pictures of people with my book forever. IT'S THE BEST THING. Tag me on "social" "media" or email the pics my way or something. Just keep 'em coming, man, I'm jonesin' for it!

Happy Holiday!

I don't know about you, but I went all in to celebrate Friday the 13th yesterday. I mean, it was Friday, October 13, aka a high horror holiday.

First of all, YES I'm mentioning it again: my book Death Count went on sale yesterday and it's available at Amazon. I'm selling a limited sketch edition (and I do mean "limited" and "selling"! get in while the getting's good) and [SKETCH EDITION SOLD OUT!] signed copies directly...for more info on that, check out yesterday's announcement post. Spread the word! I'll be spreading the word frequently because you know what? That book took a lot of work and I think it's good and a good time and I'm excited about it. SO THERE.

Fox! I love Fox. Speaking of Fox, she's going to be a playable character in the Friday the 13th game soon, and I cannot fucking wait. I CAN'T WAIT.

Speaking of Friday the 13th: The Game, I wrote about the most recent update for the game at Kotaku yesterday. The new content focuses on The Final Chapter and spoiler alert, it's so much fun. Part IV Jason is playable (complete with movie-appropriate theme music), and there's a huge new map with locations from the film, including Jarvis House and the Party House next door. The game is still janky at times, and it's still *absolutely* best to play in a private group with friends. But for all of its issues, it's obvious that the developers have a lot of love for the film series and as a fan of said series, it's a real treat.

Speaking of Kotaku, I also posted a list of horror movie recommendations for horror game fans. The inverse would work as well–like a movie? Check out this game. As I noted in the piece, it's not a list of 1:1 recommendations ("Do you like Silent Hill? Watch Silent Hill!") because that would be such a boring, pointless list. But it was a good brain exercise for me, and if I can introduce someone to a new movie or game, well, then the exercise was worth it. (That is something I never say.)

Speaking of...uh, me...I capped off yesterday's festivities with this double feature...YES AT THE DRIVE-IN:

What a hoot. It was really fun to see them with someone who had never seen either film. Pet Sematary was the bigger hit of the two, considered scarier for sure. I get it. While my heart lies with Friday, it is basically just, you know, a predictable series of murders. (Although the no-Jason twist was a big surprise.) Pet Sematary is more suspenseful, and I was surprised at how well it holds up. It's a solid, solidly depressing film!

As many times as I've seen Friday the 13th, though, I still picked up on a tidbit I ain't never picked up on before: Crazy Ralph had a wife! This changes everything! Okay, not really, but still, I can't help but wonder about her. Poor Mrs. Ralph.

Also, another tidbit: Brenda was totally the gay one, right? She was all into vegetarianism and healthy eating, she curled up with a book at night, she wore that frumpy nightgown, she said the game of strip Monopoly was about to get "interesting" because Alice was going to take her shirt off...come on now.

Man, yesterday was such a good day. There should be Friday, October 13ths more often!

Happy Friday the 13th!

Wow, a Friday the 13th in October. I can't think of a mo better day to make this announcement:

I have written-n-drawn a book about Friday the 13th and it's now available! Available to buy! You can hold one, clutch it to your bosoms and tell it all your secretest secrets!

Based on my Death Count tumblr of long ago (well, it started in 2014, I guess that's long ago enough), this book features each death in the series illustrated in full color, as well as writing about each film, a foreword by the inimitable Alexandra West, and even MORE artwork besides. More than 120 pages in all!

If all of this isn't enough to tempt you, look what these fine folks have to say:

"Stacie has always been one of my favorite weirdos. She's funny and smart and draws cool horror stuff. Buy it. Be smug." – Lena Headey, who is undoubtedly best-known for her role in the 2005 film The Cave.

But wait, there's more!

Okay, so if I've convinced you, here is the link to the Amazon listing for the book where you can buy it directly! The Kindle version will be available next week...I'll be sure to update this when it's ready.

Also I am taking pre-orders for a limited sketch edition. $45 will get you a copy of the book with a full-color sketch inside. Shipping is included, but this sketch edition is for folks in the United States only. Sorry international friends, shipping is a real (costly) drag! If you are interested, you can Paypal me at stacieponder (at) gmail dot com. Make sure to include your address and which character you'd like me to draw for you–just a character name, only characters from Part One (1980) through Jason X please!

Again, the sketch edition is a pre-order, and I'm only doing 25 of them! Once the list is full I'll get crackin' and mailin' 'em out. I'll update here when they're ready to be shipped.

[SKETCH EDITION SOLD OUT!]

Some folks may be interested in a signed copy of the regular edition–if that's the case, simply Paypal me the cost of the book ($19.95) and I'll mail you a copy of Death Count with my name scribbled in it. Again, shipping is included but it's for the US only.

[SIGNED EDITION SOLD OUT!]

I think that's it? How exciting. A book!