barnabyd's Profile
I think that a crustacean monster is a little out of place in a forest scene. But that is not much of an issue and I think the story could continue perfectly well with it. As it is, I am bursting with anticipation for untitled-V. Your writing is so good if it were put into a collection of short stories you would of thought it was written by a professional author. 
EDIT
I also think that the switch from first to third person was unneccesary and that IS a major flaw.
EDIT
I also think that the switch from first to third person was unneccesary and that IS a major flaw.
barnabyd has written 4 reviews
| Title | File | Type | Score | Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| In My Humble Opinion You Are All Being Too Hard on Poor Binirit | Dry | Normal | January 29th, 2006 | |
| This Dmod | Cycles of Evil | Normal | March 19th, 2005 | |
| I Think This Dmod is Great As it Allows You To Destroy Everything | Mayhem | Normal | March 19th, 2005 | |
| Dink is Invited To Join the Hall of Heroes Society | Cast Awakening Part 1: Initiation | Normal | October 6th, 2004 |