Deanna Doss Shrodes

Actual conversation with my husband last night: Him: So, what do you want for Christmas? Me: I want 31 Days to Great Sex Him: Can we get that on Amazon? Me: Yes. Him: Is that it? Me: Yeah....but then you have to actually do it, with your wife... Him: Well, you've got a problem then. Me: Why? Him: Because you don't have a wife. Me: Ughhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Seriously now...why do I want the book, 31 Days to Great Sex , for Christmas? First, it's written by one of my favorite bloggers , Sheila Wray Gregoire . She also wrote, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All The Fun!)  I know because Sheila wrote it, it's gonna be good. She's written this book specifically for married couples who are interested in taking love, friendship and fun to the next level. I'm all about that. Second, I want it because reading about marriage from Godly sources and constantly working on things is part of mine and Larry's ong...

This is Larry and I on our honeymoon in Hawaii, 25 years ago. Look how white I am, even after spending a week there. How did I go to Hawaii and stay this white? It may have had something to do with rarely being out of our hotel room. And look how tired my husband looks! Ha ha! I hope my husband is always a little tired in the right kind of way. Today I want to share with you how you can live a perpetual honeymoon.  Plan for it You'll never achieve what you don't pursue. If you want your marriage to stay hot, plan for it to. Do what it takes to get it there and keep it there. Some people believe this takes all the fun out of it. On the contrary, it lights the spark more.  Prioritize it Women often mention the many roadblocks to romance and sex in their marriage. There are the needs of their children, bills to pay, being tired from working so much, and lots more. The truth is, we often begin to think those things are more important and assign low priority to ...

The following are some tried and true strategies to get close and stay close as a married couple. 1) Have at least one meal a day together. Not rushed. Not in the car, or out of a bag. Sit down and look into one another's eyes and take your time eating and talking about the day to come, or the day you just had. 2) Touch. Not just sexual, but everyday, all-the-time touch. Hold hands. Snuggle if you're watching TV. Gently rub your mate's shoulders when you walk up and ask them how their day was. The photo above is one of my favorites. It's Larry and I this past summer, floating down Rainbow River. We like to hold hands even when we're tubing. :) 3) Talk daily about low points and high points. At the end of every day, ask them: what was the highlight of this day for you? What was the low point of this day for you? 4) Stay close to God.  The closer you get to God the closer you'll get to each other. Christian marriage is like a triangle with God at th...

Yesterday I shared five big mistakes I made as a wife . It seems people always find it interesting to read about people's failures. My blog stats were high yesterday so apparently people are curious to see where I've messed up. I thought some of you may also want to know what I did right. It wasn't as easy to come up with this list, but here goes...   I prayed for my husband. There are times the enemy has sent assignments to destroy us and prayer has saved the day and our marriage.  I've prayed for Larry as a man, a husband, a father, a pastor, a leader. Sometimes it's been with his knowledge, many times not. Lots of times it was with my hand on his shoulder in the middle of the night, quietly praying. Other times I laid on the carpet face down and cried out to God for him. By the way, the best book I ever read on this is The Power of  a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. Get it. I kept my own walk with God strong. One day I will answer to God for my spi...

I expected my husband to complete me. Guess what I found out? He's not God. So He's not going to do the job that only God can do. So many times as women we get God and the men in our lives (husbands, fathers, pastors, leaders) mixed up and wonder why we end up getting hurt all the time. Sometimes women say to me, "You are so lucky. You're married to a man of God, not just a Christian, but a pastor!" And I say, "Yes, he's a man of God but he's still...a MAN." That's not a slam, it's a reality. Men are men. They are not God. When we build them up to be what only God can be, we will be let down every time.  Reality is, I am lucky - I am blessed - I have chosen well. And, my husband is still a mortal who makes mistakes and cannot possibly complete me like God can. I expected my husband to read my mind. He should have just known that I wanted to go to Panera Bread...not Quaker Steak and Lube. He should have just known I wanted ...

A bunch of women have blown me away with their feedback to my Fifty Shades of Grey message . I have a follow up today on my weekly ezine , featuring some of the response. Today's message is: "Should you listen to God...or your husband?" Go here to read it, and better yet you can subscribe here so you can get my ezine in your box weekly. (Just go to the little box in the bottom left hand corner and put in your e-mail address. Once you click the link, check the "cup of coffee" to receive it.) Also, my dear friend, Dr. Donna Sallee shared a post yesterday on Pastoring Partners Network, on the Leviathan spirit . I asked her to share this because it was such a help to me personally. Learning about this has rocked my world. Did you ever deal with something and have no idea what it was until someone educated you about it? This happened to me recently. I thought the Jezebel and Absalom spirits were pretty fierce until I came face to face with Leviathan.  Dr. Don...

The book, Fifty Shades of Grey has swept the nation, and the world, for that matter.  The series has sold 40 million copies worldwide, with 32 Million sold in the USA and the book rights having been sold in 37 countries, setting the record as the fastest-selling paperback of all time.   Readership is not limited to unchurched women.  Marsha Woolley, our women's director for Pen-Florida District of the Assemblies of God, asked me to address this subject at our state-wide conference today at the World Center Marriott in Orlando. I wanted the women in attendance to be able to focus on the message without having to keep up with taking notes. So I let them know that the manuscript of my message in it's entirety, would be made available here. Whether you were in attendance or not, you can read my entire message, at this link.    Many pastors, writers and speakers have addressed this message and brought excellent points forward. However, I h...

Ask him this today. All five of these words together. It's so basic. But it's so needed. And you might not have done it in a long time. And he needs to hear it. Here goes:  "Want to make love tonight?" He wants to hear this question. And he wants you to follow through. Really follow through. And if he says yes...be just as excited as he is about it. He wants you to connect with him. And if you connect more than once, it's all the better. And if you look into his eyes and refuse to allow any other thought to distract you and stay focused on the two of you connecting, it'll be other-worldly. Try it. He'll love it. I promise.    *My husband will probably read this post and say, "Awesome of you to post this when you're away on a ministry trip, Deanna!" Don't worry babe, I'll ask you the question when I get home. :)

"Celebrate in the way that only a husband and wife can..." These words were written in a card that we received on Sunday at our anniversary reception from long-time friends, Andy and Joy Morey. Written words get my attention. More than the spoken word, they jump out at me and marinate in my brain for hours or days. Sometimes longer. The words Joy wrote (I could tell it was her handwriting, not Andy's) stuck with me. "Celebrate in the way that only a husband and wife can..." That is a really super-charged statement because lots of people in other relationships believe their celebrations are really, really good. What takes place between husband and wife though, is not just good. God called it good, yes. And He also calls it a mystery. And mystery makes all the difference. It will forever transcend other alternatives. No matter how culture or law or anything else changes. Worldly vicissitude can't touch what is holy. What God has joined toget...

We did! We've got our own room on this little getaway for a reason.  Because our time alone is still important. It's even more important as time goes on.  Our marriage hasn't lasted for almost 25 years without being intentional. A lot of couples raise children, even do that very successfully and then when they are grown and begin families of their own, the couple realizes they lost connection a long time ago. Friday is our day off and I traditionally call it, "Fun Friday."  Well, this is a really fun Friday ~ sailing out on the ocean, making our way back to Tampa, Florida.  We'll be back in the morning but in the meantime connecting on this boat is a really fun way to pass the time.

In this post I'm going to share how I wake up each morning...in a life changing way! Yes, I'm serious. Call me crazy (it's been done many times before) but I had the thought a few days ago while riding my bike that somebody may actually benefit from hearing my routine on how to wake up everyday and change the world before you even get out of bed! First let me say, I don't like to wake up.  I love to sleep.  I mean I looooooove to sleep.  So waking up in itself is a challenge but my own special routine makes it not only bearable but pleasant and actually makes a difference in the world. Life changing?  Making a difference in the world?  I can sense what some of you are thinking now.  Must she hype everything?  Is everything she does or participates in really A-May-Zing, life changing, off-the-chain, phenomenal, yada yada yada?  Well, in a word...YES.  I choose to live that way.  You can too. So, back to the wake up routine, now ...

Yesterday on Fun Friday I had lunch with a friend and then I almost had my husband all to myself for a few precious hours of time.  Except for the constant interruptions of my husband's phone it was the PERFECT day.  We were involved in deep, amazing, intimate conversation and within the first fifteen minutes, his cell phone rang FOUR times, with four DIFFERENT individuals calling.  And it continued several times through the night.  This is not uncommon, in fact it happens every time we spend any time together.  Every single time!!!  If they had cell phones back before we had kids, it's doubtful we would have ended up with any children. The phone would have interrupted us from conceiving every time.  I might have had to get artificial insemination if I ever wanted to become a mother, due to my husband's cell phonus interruptus.   You think I'm kidding?  I really am not exaggerating that every time we have a conversation or go anywhere or ...

So last Wednesday night someone was at the pulpit receiving the offering and in about three minutes I was supposed to come forward and teach.  During this time I felt my eyes drying out with my contacts feeling like they were going to pop out.  I blinked repeatedly to try to wet my eyes and thought to myself, "should I come off the platform and take my contacts out and put my glasses on, or what?"  I resisted the temptation to do that although I was extremely uncomfortable.   I just thought it would be a really unprofessional thing to possibly have to ask someone to stall at the pulpit while I removed my contacts.  I got through a 30 minute teaching while every last bit of liquid left in my eyes evaporated.  As soon as I was done teaching, I quickly removed the contacts and put my glasses on.   This was actually a culmination of my eyes feeling parched for about  three months now.  I've been going through lot of rewetting drops...

People who claim they have seriously prayed and prayed and prayed some more over something but make an immediate decision. People who use the term, "my pastor" and don't let anybody truly "pastor" them.  I love what Pastor Ed Russo says:   "Please don't call me pastor if you aren't going to let me pastor you."  People who think that marriage with a new person is going to be any easier than marriage with their ex. Women who think that sharing a man with another woman is better than having no man at all. Women who think he won't cheat on them after he cheated with them. Women who are shocked that their husband had an affair when they haven't had sex with them in a long time, or very often. People who find no correlation between their giving or lack thereof and stuff that happens -- good or bad --  in their lives. People who are surprised that having kids changes their lives.  Kids of ANY age who live with th...

This is the third post in this week's marriage series. Last year I blogged about a sermon series at Relevant Church here in Tampa where they did the 30 day Sex Challenge for married couples. There was a huge media blitz about this and people everywhere were just shocked at the thought of 30 days straight of married sex, let alone among Christians! Even CBS news interviewed the pastors of Relevant about this bizarre suggestion that married people should have sex 30 days in a row. Before hearing about Relevant's series, I had seen a TV show about Charla Muller , a wife who gave her husband Brad the gift of sex every single day for a year to celebrate his 40th birthday. This was a completely radical thought to many people and in fact Mrs. Muller had friends who didn't want their husbands to hear about her gift, because they were scared to death their husband would suggest that they do the same thing! I read stories like this and I wonder, "what's the fuss?"...

This is day two of the marriage series. You can see yesterday's post here. God desires that we be "one," not only physically, emotionally and financially , but spiritually. When God unites a man and a woman in marriage, He desires that we become one in all things. There is a lot of spiritual warfare involved in marriage. Two things go together very strongly in this equation: prayer and sex . God tells us to make sure we are fulfilling each other sexually, abstaining from sex only for a very short time to devote ourselves to prayer .  I realized more than ever the importance of this a few years ago when I was working on a project at the church one night. Larry came in and asked me if I was ready to leave and eat dinner. I had been working with another church member in the sanctuary for several hours on a project and I told Larry I was hungry but couldn’t leave until we were done. He volunteered to go down to a local restaurant and pick up some takeout and bri...

I'm getting ready to make up for the fact that I haven't done one of my mega posts in a long time and also tell you what's going on in my life... Often we hear people talk about "guilty pleasures." I don't have any of those. Not one. Far from being selfish in this matter, I simply realize that to keep the insane pace that I sometimes live at, requires me to do nice things for myself as often as I possibly can. Some things I am able to do for a short time each day, others once a week or month, and others only once or twice a year. One of the major mistakes most women make is not putting themselves on their own "to do" list. We do so much for others, and if we don't nurture ourselves we won't be able to sustain the pace many of us live at. People ask me, "how do you do all that you do?" Quite honestly, most of those people know different parts of what I have on my plate but none of them really know it all. If they did I assume ...