Deanna Doss Shrodes

Have your hopes been dashed into pieces when you tried to make a relationship work and the other person didn’t respond as you wished? Have you asked someone to forgive you, but   he or she didn’t respond as you desired? Have you prayed for healing in a relationship, but your prayers haven’t been answered?    I understand these overwhelming disappointments all too well, as one of the most important relationships in my life was lost.  I am offering insights from the journey of that devastating experience to help not only those who have faced similar circumstances, but …   Restored brings a message of hope to everyone that you can be restored, even when a relationship isn’t.   YOU can be restored, even if the other person doesn’t respond as you wished. YOU can be restored, even if your spouse leaves you. YOU can be restored, even if your parent rejects you. YOU can be restored, even if a friend betrays you. YOU can be restore...

To understand where a person is now, it helps to know where they've come from. I believe it's even essential to know where they've come from. Photo Credit: Photo Logic, Creative Commons We often judge people without knowing their story, which is sad. It's pretty pathetic that we judge them at all, but anyway... I was blessed to lead someone to Christ in the last few years who had been out of church for many years. Some had judged them for being away from God or church which only drove them further away.

Today's post is from the relationship advice column that I write for Insight , a Tampa newspaper. This past month I tackled two questions and this was the second. I discussed the first one in yesterday's post.   I'd love to hear your feedback. What has your experience been with family secrets?   Dear Deanna: I’ve recently discovered a family secret that has me in so much pain, I am thinking about going to therapy. I am trying to cope the best I can but each day it is hard to even put one foot in front of the other and keep going. The information I found out has made it almost impossible to think about anything else. The people in my family who kept the secret are upset I found out and don’t understand why I’m taking it so hard. Right now it seems like no one understands. Talking to them about it just makes me angrier. Should I go to a counselor and be done with it? They don’t want me to share about it with anyone outside our family and I feel trapped.  - Ess...

My post today is from the relationship column that I write for Insight, a Tam pa newspaper . This month I tackled several questions and this was one of them . I'd love to hear your thoughts about how you handle this when it happens to you.   Dear Deanna: I am having problems with a friend who invites me to do things with her and then after I have already agreed, invites someone else to join us. This may not appear to be any big deal, however my discomfort with the situation is that she often asks people I’m not particularly fond of and don’t want to spend an evening or an activity with…people like my ex-sister-in-law. Yes, AWKWARD!!!  Once I’ve agreed to attend, I don’t like to back out just because she invites someone to join us that I’m not comfortable with. But I’m really tired of dreading these times together. What do I do? I don’t want to lose my friend but I also don’t want to keep dreading her events and invitations. Signed, Dreading Dear...

1) Ask what the best part of their day was. 2) Ask what the worst part of their day was. 3) Ask how you can help. These work.  I speak from experience. Try it!

We often focus on how others irritate us, but do we consider how we may be irritating others? Thursday morning I was on a flight to San Diego, seated next to an older married couple. I'll start by saying something positive about them. They seemed so happy and doted on one another. That was where my admiration started and ended. I followed "the rules" of the ride (turned cell phone off when asked to, put away all electronic devices until otherwise instructed, fastened seat belt) but some others didn't do it so quickly. The couple took it upon themselves to loudly instruct others to do what was really only the flight crew's place to do. I could hardly believe my ears when they started ranting over one woman not shutting her cell phone down quickly enough after the announcement was made. But the ride was just getting started... For several hours I endured the idiosyncrasies of my seat mates. The first thing they did was put on their Bose soundproof headpho...

If someone had no legs or was paralyzed, would you command them to stand up and walk across the room to give you a hug? Probably not, as that would be an exercise in futility. Most people would look at you like  you were crazy if you kept demanding that a person with no legs or paralysis walk across the room to give you affection.  People understand physical disabilities much more than they do emotional ones. The other day a friend of mine posted on her Facebook status, "Don't lose your dignity and self respect trying to make people love and appreciate you when they just aren't capable." Very wise words. There are some people in this life who are broken emotionally.  Sometimes there are even groups of people who are incapable. They don't know how to love you. They don't know how to treat you. They just aren't capable of extending to you what you so long for, because they're emotionally disabled. Instead of repeatedly demanding of them what th...

  Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you. I can always find someone to say they sympathize. If I wear my heart out on my sleeve. But I don't want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies. All I want is someone to believe.  ~Billy Joel What would happen if every Christian were committed to live in radical truth? Truth when it hurts, truth. Truth when you might lose the job, truth. Truth when you might lose the contract, truth. Truth when it's embarrassing truth. Truth when you're uncomfortable truth. Truth when you're point blank asked and truth is the last thing you want to give truth. If we want the world to pay attention...maybe we should start by telling the truth. Those who serve in ministry or have grown up in church have probably heard thousands of sermons. Many of them, we don't remember. A few we never forget. Years ago on a Wednesda...

Well, this month marked the second month of my relationship advice column that I was asked to write for the Tampa newspaper, Insight Tampa . The following are the two questions that came in that I tackled this month. I've decided to share my answers here on the blog, at least once in a while, for those of my readers who do not live in the Tampa Bay area, and therefore don't have the ability to receive this paper. You all said I did great with the difficult topics that came up last month -- friends-with-benefits, and a 14-year old pressuring her mom to let her go to parties. Let's see how I fared this month addressing issues about strong willed kids and an emotional abuse situation. Here we go... Dear Deanna: Our five year old son is very strong willed and I would characterize him as rebellious a lot of the time. My husband and I are really frustrated and many times this affects our relationship as well.   I’m at a loss as to where to turn. We can’t even go to ...