Deanna Doss Shrodes

If we're not careful, we can go from being our child's advocate to exerting undue interference that renders them unprepared for adult life. Yes...this REALLY happened... Years ago at our church , we had a pastoral staff member in their late twenties whose mother from out of state contacted my husband and me -- TWICE -- to tell us how she thought her son's work issues should be handled. Apparently she didn't agree with some of our decisions. We were absolutely dumbfounded.  Needless to say, the interference on the part of the staffer's mother only made things go from bad to worse. Opportunities for Growth... Giving children opportunity to gain experience in solving problems of all kinds begins not when they turn 18 or 21, but all throughout their growing up years. Living in the era of helicopter parenting , many children and teens miss opportunities to learn problem solving skills. During the course of my children's school years we have had relative...

  "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much." ~Jackie Kennedy Today I take time to dwell on how great it is to be a Mom. I think about that all the time, actually...not just today. I've done a lot of things in life but nothing compares to being a mother. I have four kids...one in heaven waiting for me, three on earth. I know, two of them are not exactly "kids" anymore. The first is a 23 year old youth pastor. The second is a 22 year old senior risk representative at Capital One. The third is almost an adult. Yet they will always be my kids...my babies. I enjoy them so much. This photo above is them sitting by the Christmas tree throwing packing peanuts in the air after opening their gifts. As usual Jordan and Savanna threw them and Dustin sat there wondering why they were doing it. I am so proud of them. Yes, they are caring human beings who have accomplished wonderful thi...

So, here's all we had to concern ourselves with, here in the past 24 hours... I sat in front of the fireplace and wrote to my heart's content in the quiet, while occasionally glancing out the window. Love the change of scenery while I write. Jordan was king of the mountain. Savanna made snow angels. We stayed in this beautiful place. We watched two movies last night. Made dinner, did the dishes, tidied things up, sunk down into a bath. Slept. That's all folks...  

Oh my stars! Could it get any more interesting? My cousin Henry, who lives in Tacoma, Washington, came to see us on Friday. We spent time talking for hours, and eating Cuban food and ice cream and having a most wonderful time. I only wish it could have been longer.  After seeing Henry off to enjoy the rest of his vacation I had intended on preparing the house for my sister Shari to come from North Carolina. I had six hours or so before bedtime to whip the house in shape. However, our son Jordan became very ill. He called and asked if Larry and I could meet him at the emergency room of the same hospital our son Dustin works at. Jordan has been sick for six days and went to the doctor earlier in the week but nothing they gave him helped. Now in addition to the constant nausea, and pain, he was blacking out and having spasms. We met him there where they began to undergo a battery of tests... He had it all...urine, blood work, ultrasound, EKG, CAT scan, chest x-rays, you n...

Slowly easing into reality from the luxury of seven days of... Where my vantage point above me was... And the view ahead of me was... And this amazing person beside me was... The kids seem real happy to have us home, and a certain two bulldogs didn't quit leaping for about fifteen minutes after we walked in the door. It was a such a nice welcome home. Jordan had a particularly sweet surprise. While we were gone, he put lights up outside on the house - icicle lights to frame the house, as well as red and green lights on the palm trees. I called him for a few moments when we had phone service in the U.S. Virgin Islands and he said, "Mom, I've got a surprise for you when you come home. You're gonna love it!" He was right. Little touches of love and care make easing back into work a lot easier. I don't even want to look at my initiative list for this week. Can't I put my head in the sand along with where my toes were all week? LOL...

Last night was the Celebration Church Thanksgiving dinner. It's one of the highlights of the year. After we share d a fabulous meal together, our worship team rocked the place and then people had opportunity to share what they are grateful for. Our son Jordan was one of the first people to come to the microphone and speak. Before sharing about his new job he pointed to Larry and me and said: "I'd like to thank God for these two people, for the privilege of growing up in their home, and having them as parents." Shortly after, our son Dustin (who is now the youth pastor at our church) got up and the first words out of his mouth were, "I'd just like to thank God for my family..." Wow. So, of course no matter how many times I hear stuff like this it just makes my buttons bust. (Well, that and all the weight I've gained...) After the boys spoke, I began thinking: what makes a family great to be part of? What makes a house a home you can't...

It's been a while since I've written anything about my kids. Okay, so it's actually only been since October 29th. A lot of people comment about how amazing my kids are. No argument there. They rock. Mostly not because of me. I've actually made a ton of mistakes. Nevertheless, people ask me, "how do you raise kids that grow up to be Christians? How do you guide them into developing Godly morals that they actually keep into adulthood?" I don't claim to be an expert and beside the point, I've only raised three kids. Well, I've actually raised two to adulthood and one to teenage years to be perfectly technical. But these are five things that have helped us thus far: 1) Don't just talk about Jesus. Live Jesus. It's more caught than taught. 2) Love the heck out of them. Love covers a multiude of sins . I'm a terrible sinner at times , but I sure do love my kids.  3) Go to church with them, don't just drop them off. And once y...

1) Believe in them.  Every kid wants more than anything for their parent to believe in them. Believe in them every single day.  Let them know you do, often. Over and over again. Until they are sick of hearing it! (They might act like they are tired of you telling them. Don't believe it. Keep telling them. If you're going to change their lives every day you  have to tell them good things every day.) 2) Be excited every time you see them.  Do your eyes light up when they walk in the room? These are your kids. Your amazing offspring. Let them see the excitement every time they show up. I realize some of you have little kids and they are running in the room a few hundred times a day. You might wish they would run out. I know you are frustrated, but please realize, your kids are the most amazing thing you will ever create. So get excited!!  Today as I was doing a hospital visit for one of our church members, my 22 year old son Dustin walked in the room. Immed...

Right now we're waiting on hurricane Isaac to get to Tampa. Reports keep conflicting one another and I'm not sure whether he's going to arrive tonight or tomorrow. Either way, I'm not worried. I've been through this before, and I have trust in the Lord. Even if the worst would happen, I still have trust in the Lord. We have enough food to make it through the storm, and we've got the sandbags laid out, and we're prepared to be shut in for a while. Ultimately even with all that ~ I trust.  I've been through so many storms in life. Bad storms. I've been through way worse emotional storms than tropical ones. I am thinking compared to everything else I've weathered, Isaac should be a piece of cake. And, we do appreciate your prayers. By the way, JUGGLE is at #11 today in it's category on Amazon! This weekend it's fluctuated between 8 to 14. Thanks to my friends who are spreading the word and keeping it up there. I am still pinch...

Just prior to last night's service at Celebration, my friend Candy Rivera received a phone call on her cell phone.  A man's voice, a stranger on the other end of the line, told her that her son, Eddie Jr. and our son Jordan (best friends) had been abducted. He told her that the boys would be killed unless a certain amount of money was immediately provided for ransom. Candy frantically ran up to the church office building where my husband was and asked him, "where is Jordan?" Larry responded that Jordan was at scuba class. (Jordan rarely if ever misses church but last night was his mandatory test for scuba certification.)  They had assumed their son was getting ready to come over to the church. Candy and Eddie Sr. made calls to try to reach Eddie Jr. and my husband called to get ahold of Jordan. They finally reached them. Both of the boys were fine. Jordan was at class taking his test and Eddie Jr. was on the way to the church service.  They asked both boys ques...

 "There she goes again..."  I buried my face in my husband's shoulder, uncontrollably laughing, trying to get myself semi-under control, (I never get fully under control, lol) as we were out to dinner last night. Our former children's pastor, Trinity Mackley, came into town and stayed with us for the last two nights. We went out to dinner -- he and Larry and I along with Jordan and Savanna. In our conversation which was quite delightful, I was reduced to cry-laughing. This happens often. I laugh so hard I sometimes fall off the couch. Or leave the room. Or bury my face in a tissue. I've had passersby thinking I've had too much to drink, when I wasn't drinking at all. One time somebody offered to call me a cab. In all seriousness. That made me laugh even harder. My kids are used to it. They just say, "there she goes again..." and shake their heads in amusement. They get a kick out of the fact that I laugh at my own stories and jo...

The kids a few years ago on vacation in Pittsburgh Let me give a word to the wise to parents who wish to raise children who grow up to have Christian character and good values... get yourself a blindfold and a good pair of ear plugs. You'll need it to block out what family members and friends who don't share your values will say. "Isn't Larry kind of harsh with him?" "Are seventeen spankings in a row really appropriate? Do you really think that's going to work? Isn't that just doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? That's kinda insanity if you ask me..." "You aren't letting him participate in drum line at school because they practice on youth group night? How much church does any one kid need? I'm sure he will get positive experiences being a part of the drum line too. How is that really any different from a youth group?" "Why does your summer revolve around youth camp? I...

A lot of people tell me how great my kids are. I agree, they are pretty stellar. ;) The above picture is of three of them. A fourth is in heaven waiting for us. Once my boys were eighteen, I regretted not having even more kids. The reason is because I was amazed at how well the boys turned out despite all my mistakes. And, I realized a lot of what we always believed about raising Godly kids before we even had kids really does work!  As a parent it takes many years to see results. "Training up a child in the way he/she should go" takes a lonnnnng time. Once I saw those results, it was too late to have more. Larry is fine -- quite satisfied with our three. I on the other hand, always tend to believe that, "Too much of a good thing is...wonderful." ;) I have a confidence now that I didn't have when they were younger. Because quite honestly, I didn't know for sure that they would share our values or serve God when they grew up. I only prayed my guts ou...

What's a better birthday gift than a bunch of friends surrounding you and praying a powerful prayer over your life? It's better than chocolate cake ...although that was really good. :)  Sisterly speeches are good too... and so are sisterly hugs.  Brotherly thoughts are good too... and the blessing of Dad is incomparable... Thank you, Lord, for another year...