the lenten letters

Some of my zoo days are my best days. The conversations that happen around the table, amidst peanuts, palm fronds, and paint splattered everything, always leave me smiling. Sometimes it's all out laughter, and other days it is downright holy.

Ash Wednesday, after I was lamenting our King Cake debacle, the talk turned to Lent and forty days and did you have any plans to navigate those days? Terrie shared her plan and I was already in love with it before she finished describing it. Forty letters, to forty people, in forty days. Letter to say... you mean the world to me, I love you, you are important to me. When was the last time you received mail like that? 

When I got home that afternoon, I gathered my supplies together {note cards, envelopes, stamps} and made the list. And then I started writing, and my daily trips to the mailbox became a prayer walk. Did I miss a few days? Yes. Did I play catch-up? Yes. Did I finish in time? No. But I kept on going.

In my own little bubble, I sent out these messages to the people I love and let them know. What I did not expect was that there would be a return. Over the next weeks, often a text would pop into my phone. I just received the kindest note. This is a keeper. I love you, too. I needed this today. While I might have imagined a friend opening the note, and smiling, I hadn't thought that far... and I didn't expect to be so blessed in return. And it was beautiful.

I'm not sure why I was so surprised, because isn't that just like God, to pile on the blessings...

in the stillness

Sometimes I need to be reminded that sweat is not the only reason to go for a walk, and perhaps the reason to follow the beckoning of the tree line, backlit with the pink promise of sunrise, is simply to breathe.

In maybe the stillest May I can ever remember, I find myself having to slow down even more, which honestly seems like a cruel reverse. Last week I was chasing the 15 minute mile, and this week, trying to hold off the bronchitis, the medicine combo has stopped that race in its tracks.

But this morning, I needed to get out and center my soul. A slow steady stroll. Cool morning air, which has been glorious after the early spring heat. The birds singing their song under the moon, still standing watch over the cul de sacs for just a few more minutes.

And then there was that promise.

All worship. Be still and know, indeed.

the weekends...

Some weekends leave you rested, and other leave you breathless... and honestly, I don't know which I love better.

A quiet Friday night can ooze into a Saturday, where I find myself stretched out on the couch arguing with the day. The sunshine and blue sky call me to play, but there seems to be nothing I want more that to sit in the stillness, and enjoy the view of the beauty. Basking in the warm light, letting the cool breeze waft in seems not a waste at all. My hands may pick up a book or a discarded project, the laundry spins, a sappy t.v. movie calls to us... and maybe we trek down the road for a walk in the woods.

Sunday morning pancakes and a trip to the store, with a little more lazy afternoon rest. Sometimes just us is all we need, and tucking ourselves away from the world feels just right. Monday comes and we are rested, centered for the week.

Last weekend? Breathless.

The clock couldn't find its way to quitting time fast enough, and before six, we had made a wardrobe change and a quick turn around, back out the door, for a party under the lights and stars. What a night! Family and friends. Food and drink. Dancing and lights and fun... all in one of our most favorite places. Saturday afternoon we said yes to a last minute invitation to basketball and an afternoon with friends, because...why not? We knew by the time we were home, we'd still have an hour or so before making good on on our long overdue (three years?) bowling date! We laughed into the night, knowing a bowling league wasn't for us after all - we're much better at wine club. Of course, Sunday afternoon finds us pressing to get ready for the new week, accomplishing all that tasks we had set side to make room for play... but all the while, the happy glow of the days before lingers loud. Monday comes, and we are still reveling in the fun of the weekend.

Breathless or rested? Somehow I think each speaks its own to a life well lived.

our girl...

Last summer, her world shifted. Home from a mountaintop experience of volunteering at the LCMS National Youth Gathering, she lost half her work hours at the zoo. As much as she loves {LOVES} that zoo, getting her full time hours was a struggle - she'd work them a few weeks, and then she wasn't scheduled for anything but her giraffe time. We could tell it was taking a toll on her confidence, her dreams, and on her soul itself.

After a(nother) month of struggling, she decided to look for a part time job to add to her giraffe days. The local Children's Museum interviewed her for less than ten minutes, and then she got a call offering the job. She's been there since September, and loving it.

halloween at the museum

Within weeks we noticed she was coming back around to herself... and we have just been thankful. Even though her work week was six days (3 days zoo, 3 days museum) she began to blossom once again. I have loved listening to her chatter on about her day, and once in a while she shares that she earned another "star"... a compliment from a co-worker or a guest.

At the end of April, Laura received news that she had been accepted to join the Lutheran Young Adult Corps... and it is her current dream come true. In just a month she will be headed off for urban ministry in Boston! It is a ten month position and she thrilled to have the chance to be a part of this first mission!

All along, through her Zoo School experience and her jobs, I have continued to recite the verse that helps me breathe when I start to worry about the future...

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

He has hopes and dreams for us that we can hardly fathom... and He will lead us to them. When you look back along the journey, it is amazing to see the twists & turns in the road... and in place of those hairpin turns that broke our hearts, we now say ah-ha! I am ever thankful for this... as it gets me through the newest twist along our way, with a sense of comfort, even in the dark.

Time is flying, as summer does, and the time for her to head north is coming quickly. We can hardly wait to see what God has in store for her as he continues to work in her life.

hello fall...

I put out some fall decorations over the weekend, and when I sent Suz a quick picture, an absurd texting conversation ensued. We only wish that when a certain number of people hauled out their fall decorations that the temperatures would fall to reasonable. Today it is supposed to be two degrees above average. What is average? Apparently 90.

Most people will tell you that there is no fall in Florida, and I used to buy into that, but the past few years have changed my mind. We may not be treated to the colorful autumn display that our northern friends enjoy, but as I have walked the boardwalks and trails, I have seen the changing leaves cling to the branches, and when the sun sets, I have felt the occasional coolness set in. Last week, as we went over to watch the high school band practice, the air was downright heavenly. By November we should have daily beautiful air!

Camden is settled back into school in Iowa, and maybe he will send us some pictures of northern fall, but in the meantime, we will seek and enjoy the little bits of fall that Florida sends our way.

when there are hardly words...

We have made mention of meeting up over the years (yes, years!)... How we hoped that there would be a time. How we would sit and sip chai lattes, and laugh and cry and how it was certainly only a when, not an if.  There really is only one state separating us - unless you count half of hers and practically ALL of Florida (which may as well be three states, because it is so long!)

When Camden got his letter to interview for a scholarship in South Carolina, I was excited... for more than one reason.  Yes, we would visit the school and attend the luncheon and interview... and we would carve out a time to meet Southern Gal and her Ethan. I knew I wouldn't be nervous... I truly believe we know each other by heart!  

I got a little teary eye-d thinking about meeting her. And when Cam & I were on our way to meet them at the zoo, those tears slipped back into my eyes.  This was really happening!  And then...

thank you, camden for being the photographer!

I could only laugh and smile... and we talked so fast I think we talked right over each other.

The day was beautiful, and I hardly have words to say how happy my heart was.  It was two friends picking right up from our endless emails with easy conversation... and although we should have held hands and skipped though the zoo, we resisted.  The boys were really great sports about this whole day, and skipping surely would have pushed them over the edge!

thanks, southern gal for letting me steal this collage!

We never did sit and sip chai lattes... but we walked and talked and laughed and talked some more.  It was such a fun day- and so hard to say goodbye!  But there will be a next time... I just know it.

and thank you, ethan, for this great shot!

love and gifts and blessed beyond measure...

It was just a little bit of radio on the way home... Joy sharing how she was in the water with dolphins over the weekend, and her co-host saying that if she considers that swimming with dolphins,  then he had been on safari with lions... because he had been to the zoo.  But that little bit of silly conversation caused my eyes to fill with tears, thankful tears... because I have done both. For real. 

Discovery Cove 2011

Tanzania 2010

In the moment, the experience is wild and wonderful, and you recognize that just to be able to do this is an incredibly special thing.  And then later, when you look back at the pictures that documented your adventure, the tears come fully... knowing that the experience was a blessing through and through.  And the joy of sharing those beautiful, extravagant moments with the people I love? Just one more beautiful gift.

Love comes in many packages...
The snuggle of your child, big or small. Someone getting out of bed to turn off the light so you don't have to, or the tumbling of the lock when hands are full.  In the giving of a gift... extravagant or small. Or... receiving one with a joyful heart.

I am so thankful for every smidgen of love that comes my way...