Hello My Dear Blog Friends
It is hard to believe I have not opened my laptop
Since the 9th of January
The past two weeks have been
Scary and Busy
1. Thank You:
I would humbly like to thank each person who has contacted me via email, text, phone, FB or through my blog to offer prayers and good thoughts. Your encouragement is what is getting me through this terribly difficult season with my youngest son.
I honestly don't know how people get through a crisis without prayer, family and friends. I know I covet your prayers and especially your encouraging words. So, thank you again and always!!
2. Clarification:
It is a difficult task to relay my heart through the written word. On my last post (at Loving Madi), I shared that I would attempt to use female pronouns when referring to my son, as that is what he would like. Also, I mentioned that I would try to call him Madi.
I realize that many may have misunderstood my intention and my stance on the subject of having a son who would like to be a girl. Please let me clarify, if that is really possible.
My son, who is 30 years old, has recently told me and the world that he is transgender and wants to go through the process of becoming female. I have been a mess since that day, September 21, 2015. I have prayed and cried out to the Lord to help him see that his choice is sinful and, in my opinion, will cause him a life of pain. Yet, so far, he has not changed his mind, in fact, he is stronger and more determined than ever.
In my attempt to help him through his pain, I decided to show love (God's love and Grace) to him by using female pronouns and his new chosen name of Madi. This does NOT mean that I have changed my opinion about him being transgender. I do not agree with it, I do not understand it, I do not condone it. My heart is still broken about it, I am grieving, and praying, no pleading with God to help him, I cannot change my opinion about his choice. BUT, I can choose GRACE! I can show love and respect for his choice.
He will always know that I am here for him, that I will always be truthful with him about my thoughts, he will always see God's love for him and God's grace for him through me. I will never turn my back on the truth's I believe are written in God's Word, yet I have to find ways to have peace in my home and keep my son from ending his life because of the pain he is in.
It is possible that you may not agree with me or the way I have chosen to face this trial, but at least you know where I stand and why I am making the choices I am making.
None of us has any idea of how we will handle a situation until that situation is staring us in the face. When the rubber meets the road, so to speak.
I Never thought I'd have to face this, but it is here, in my home and I have to walk it out the best way I know how. I may be wrong, but I'm praying through it and will listen intently for my Father's voice in the midst.
3. Prayer Request:
Madi has been in the hospital for 9 days, 'She' was suicidal and homicidal. Threats were made and she needed to be in a place where she is safe.
a. Prayers are requested for a proper diagnosis (right now schizophrenia is a possibility)
b. Correct medication and dosing for treatment
c. Wisdom for her medical team
d. Wisdom for housing and living arrangements
e. Peace for me and for her
f. God's protection and Grace
Thank you Again!
Now, I am hoping in the days ahead, I will feel more awake and at peace so I can start blogging happily again!
May you have a Blessed Week Ahead