Oscar Zone Vol. II; Part V: Best Picture!

Well here we are, folks. The Academy Award Ceremony is in two days and we've got one more major category to go over. The ballots were due on Tuesday and by now the winners are already in their envelopes and about to be immortalised in Oscar Lore Forever. You can read some more about the whole process of Oscar Week here. But now we'll discuss the most prestigious award of the evening and it's one that for now is up for grabs - Best Picture. Let's take a gander at everyone's chances:

Winter's Bone (2010): Anne Rosellini, Alix Madigan

It's a shame that Wayne and Garth don't pick the Oscars. That's about the only world in which this flick could possibly win. Actually I'm sure that sketch has more of an impact on Pop Culture than Winter's Bone, mostly because the most anybody knows about Winter's Bone is that it's called Winter's...BONE. Hahaha.
Chances of Winning: 1/10

127 Hours (2010): Christian Colson, Danny Boyle, John Smithson

There's been some weird hype lately that this flick might pull down Best Original Song. I'll start citing this website which attempts to use some formulas to predict a flick's Awards Chances. Despite the heavy favourite Toy Story 3, it's possible this is the one category 127 Hours nabs. I don't personally believe it but at any rate none of the discussion is towards Best Picture or even Actor or Screenplay.
Chances of Winning: 2/10

The Kids Are All Right (2010): Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, Celine Rattray

It's starting to look as though this film may walk away completely empty handed although it's gaining the most ground in the Original Screenplay Category which I predicted earlier. Actually as you can see, it's just the only non-The King's Speech script that might win according to these people. If that film sweeps though, it's likely it will also grab one for writing. Other than that, Annette still has a slim chance of upsetting Natalie but there isn't a whole lot behind this film right now for Best Picture. Chaulk it up to no one caring about a gay movie not nearly as controversial as Brokeback Mountain (2005).
Chances of Winning: 3/10

Toy Story 3 (2010): Darla K. Anderson

I still want to see Pixar grab this in my lifetime. Actually I'd be psyched to see any Animated Film grab this award sometime, as well as any Director Nomination from an Animated Film. Despite its buzz among people who may have only seen this among the Best Picture Nominees (millions of people. Actually that joke almost doesn't work this year, who the hell knew Black Swan and The King's Speech could be $100 million movies). It's also possible this film has a pretty slow night, possibly only picking up Best Animated Feature. Then again, when I see it parodied and torn down so well by The Simpsons this weekend I don't feel as bad.
Chances of Winning: 4/10

True Grit (2010): Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, Scott Rudin

There are plenty of pundits and math out there that actually favour this film in a few categories tho I don't really buy it. Eight time nominee Roger Deakins seems most likely to grab a statue for his Cinematography, but math gives the flick a fair shot in a few other categories that it definitely won't win (like Sound Mixing, c'mon). Anyway, the Academy just recognised one of the best Coen Films with tons of statues three years ago and it seems like their nominations have been granted ever since. True Grit is an excellent film but not as outstandingly shockingly good as No Country for Old Men (2007). Then again, that flick won in a very competitive year and True Grit's momentum seems to be rolling rather than slowing. I still don't think it's possible.
Chances of Winning: 5/10

Black Swan (2010): Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver, Scott Franklin

This flick peaked a bit early and its Supporting Actor snubs of Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey and Vincent Cassel seems to indicate the Academy didn't throw itself completely behind it. Then again, I'm saying all this when Natalie is an absolute lock for Best Actress. While it may have done a bit better a few weeks ago I think Swan Fever has passed and we aren't seeing this as often the week that ballots are due.
Chances of Winning: 6/10

The Fighter (2010): David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman, Mark Wahlberg

It's unlikely that Mark's Opus wins more than the Supporting Acting Categories but Boxing Films have been involved in one of the most famous Academy upsets and snubs, so who knows. I place The Fighter ahead of Rocky (1976) but far behind Raging Bull (1980) in terms of quality, but we all know at this point that that doesn't really matter. As soon as all these films are released it's all politics, quality means a bit less. I think Mark's been underrated as both an actor (Wait...what?) but he's certainly underrated as a Producer. That being, he doesn't win here.
Chances of Winning: 7/10

Inception (2010): Christopher Nolan, Emma Thomas

I think Inception could roll farther than some people think. While its considered a virtual lock in both Sound Categories and Visual Effects, it wouldn't be a stretch at all for it to nab Art Direction, Cinematography and Original Score, and at that point is it that outrageous that it also takes Best Picture? It would certainly be a huge upset tho its entirely possible (and true) that Nolan really made a very technically proficient film that doesn't have a whole lot of "artful" parts such as acting, directing or is really the kind of film the Academy adores. In fact, there is this growing idea that Hollywood hates what Inception represents - a very successful uniquely original idea, as insane (or not) as that may seem. From this perspective I'd call it equally likely Inception walks away with nothing. What's hardest to say is that out of all the Best Picture Nominees Inception is about guaranteed the greatest Legacy. Good original action blockbusters like this are so incredibly rare these days. It won't find honor here.
Chances of Winning: 8/10

The Social Network (2010): Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca, Ceán Chaffin

Now, a few weeks ago I probably would have flip-flopped my top two. Most of the Academy voters likely feel the same way, but The King's Speech is peaking at the exact right moment, when most voters submit their ballots at the deadline. While some like Peter Travers are desperately still campaigning for The Social Network, Roger Ebert has some good reasons to think that The King's Speech is the one. Math also decrees that the Facebook Movie will win (tho for some reason that escapes me the author decided not to factor in DGA wins, which is a huge deal. As anyone can see when you factor in these Awards the race becomes substantially closer). Remember when all we knew about The Social Network was that it was some kind of Facebook: The Movie! and it sounded ridiculously stupid? Now on the verge of Best Picture of the Year. Wow. It's tough to say, The Social Network has been riding a huge string of wins all year and if we were being conservative I'd still pick it to take home the whole thing Sunday Night.
Chances of Winning: 9/10

The King's Speech (2010): Iain Canning, Emile Sherman, Gareth Unwin

Luckily no one around here is conservative. The King's Speech is hot baby. It's the hottest flick, still scoring at the theaters, this film had ridiculous legs on its way to its current $104 million total.If I were submitting my ballot right now I'd be writing this one down as my number one, which is what I based a lot of this prediction on. The Academy all comes down to the right combination of momentum, politics and timing. Only when everything lines up does a film walk away with the Best Picture Award. Of course, I was a bit too cynical last year and blew this and most other predictions because I thought AVABAR (2009) would sweep but it turned into The Hurt Locker's (2009) sweep. When I made my predictions last month I again leaned more towards a sweep by The Social Network, which may bite me in the ass. Ugh I predicted a Black Swan / Inception battle over Cinematography? This is looking rough already. Now the only thing left to do is sit back and watch.
Chances of Winning: 10/10

Capsule 2010: Movies

Here we go, people. A few days into 2011 now, it's time we talk 2010. Always relevant Norwegian Morning Wood is. Anywho, 2010 was a pretty special year, folks. Let's start with some general trends:

There has been a continued shift this year concerning almost every basic of the industry. Studios produced different films, the ones that did well and the ones that flopped were not traditionally predictable (almost) and there have been shifting ideas towards DVD distribution. Here's a nice summary.

TRENDS OF 2010:

Who knew the Third Dimension could be so popular? The biggest event of 2010 was the widespread propagation of flicks shown on 3-D Formats. While attendance decreased, the Box Office was still able to break even on these little buggers. Hooray! There were only a handful of films though where this worked very well (Jackass 3D, Piranha 3D, Resident Evil: Afterlife...surely you may gauge the quality of the films that utilized cool 3D this year). Then there we a good amount of 3D that added nothing really to the experience (Alice in Wonderland, Toy Story 3) and some that was tacked on terribly (Clash of the Titans, The Last Airbender). Feel free to start putting together the future of 3D. Successful Critical and Commercial films such as Inception and Harry Potter and the Deathly Swallows, Fart 1 avoided 3D to acclaim. Have we managed both the rise and fall of 3D this year? Although the best films of the year did not employ the technology and the only ones who did so creatively were absolute crap, messages in Hollywood take a while to sink in. Clash is almost unexplainable as one of the greatest success stories of the year, but the bombs of shit like The Last Airbender bring us to our next topic:

This was the Great Summer of Flops. It's a turning point for American tastes. Big celebrity-driven romps such as Knight and Day, Robin Hood, Killers, Sex and the City 2 and Prince of Persia: Sands of Dick were absolute bombs. As was trash like The Sorcerer's Apprentice and the aforementioned Airbender. What did well? Stark, Toys and Mildly Confusing Passion Projects. Oh, and that Teen Werewolf flick with that chick who looks like a rat.

There is also this budding trend of smaller independent Monster and Alien movies made on tiny budgets with cameras and computers you can purchase at Best Buy. In recent years we've seen this trend start with flicks like Cloverfield (2008) and District 9 (2009). Ultimately this year has boiled down to pure crap (Skyline), middling crap (Monsters) and what-the-shit? (The Troll Hunter...hey go Norway!). There's also some cool-looking crap coming out next year, but I was pumped after the Skyline trailer, too so what the hell. I suppose I'll try to trust a major studio over a Special Effects Company. At any rate, there sure are a lot of interesting Alien Invasion flicks around (see also).

The style of "Fake Documentary" that some of these alien films took was also everywhere in 2010. There were so many Mockumentaries, some without any clear delineation of art and reality (I'm Still Here and Exit Through the Gift Shop). There was also the social networking faux-doc Catfish (which works best without any other prior information before viewing). There's also common fare like Paranormal Activity 2: Electric Boogaloo and The Last Exorcism.

Did anyone else notice the trend of "confined space" flicks that came out in 2010? There were all these films that featured a very limited number of actors with a majority of on-screen action in a very limited location. This ranged from the ridiculousness of Buried, which features only Ryan Reynolds in a coffin to 127 Hours which is mostly James Franco trapped under a rock. But there's also Devil with a bunch of people ("The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!") stuck in an elevator, and Exam (sneaking in with a wider US release date in 2010, while technically premiering in 2009) which has a bunch of people going nuts while taking a weird exam.

Finally, 2010 was filled with enormous amounts of Nostalgia for the 1980s. This came in some direct forms such as remakes of The A-Team and The Karate Kid, homages to an different era of film styles and tropes (The Expendables and MacGruber) and then just straight-up Time Travel (Hot Tub Time Machine). Whether or not this continues in mainstream movies is yet to be seen, but 2010 had such a chubby for the Me Decade. When are we going to reach 90s Nostalgia? That's a scary thought.

ACTORS OF 2010:

So who were the biggest names in 2010? Unlike 2009 when Sandra Bullock reigned over everybody, 2010 was a decidedly male year. Downey had some hits but wasn't really a break-out like 2008. Jeff Bridges had a sweet year, after winning a Best Actor Oscar he starred in both Tron: Legacy and True Grit this past December. While Tron's ultimate legacy may leave something to be desired, Bridges' face on all the advertising months and months ahead of time in Disney's attempt to make an "event" film made it seem like the cat was everywhere. But 2010 wasn't really the Year of The Dude.

Liam Neeson continued his rise as an Action Star in The A-Team (to be continued in Unknown this year and Taken II at some point) and may have the Pop Quote in the year with "Release the Kraken!" from Clash of the Titties. How the hell does this guy think he's too old to play Lincoln but young enough for all these action films? Another action star, Sly Stallone had a big hit with The Expendables and he's a force enough to have the year revolve around him, but not really broad enough. Maybe on the other end of the Spectrum we can call 2010 the Year of the Nerdy Hero with Michael Ceratops, Aaron Johnson and Jesse Eisenberg tearing it up in Youth in Revolt / Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Kick-Ass and The Social Network, respectively. Or how about Wahlberg coming out as the funniest cat one of the year's funniest (The Other Guys) and the toughest in one of the year's best (The Fighter)?

Naaah. This was the Year of the Lion. Leo, baby. Shutter Island, which as an incredibly interesting and cool film up until the last ten minutes, made some great bank and starred a tremblingly great Leo. But Inception was his real cash cow, and that's definitely the film of 2010 everyone's going to remember. It was never really in doubt. Leonardo DiCaprio - Actor of 2010.

TRAILERS OF 2010:

Before we dip into a classic Top 10, let's talk Trailers. 2010 had some great ones that pumped us all up for some Shitty, Shitty Movies. There were also a slim few for really good movies. Now, not all these flicks came out in 2010, but I was pumped after all five of these. Let's stat with some shit - Iron Man 2. Look at this thing. We've got Larry Sanders, Sam Rockwell, blossoming love with a tolerable Gwyneth Paltrow, fucking War Machine and a Briefcase Iron Man Suit for the Billionaire Superhero on the Go. This one from 2009 was probably better, though they share the same themes, teaser clips and a still baffling partnership with AC / DC.

"I thought you was going to say the sun was in your eyes...that is to say, your EYE."

Johnny Cash and an admirable Bridges make True Grit work, the timing and focus on Hailee Steinfeld really works. It's already full of some of Cogburn's great quotes and set-ups and establishes plot quickly and coolly. Two films coming out next year had some excellent trailers. I'm intrigued by the aforementioned Neeson vehicle Unknown. There is a lot of intrigue here that keeps the attention rather than squanders it. Also I find myself really enjoying Neeson's Pissed Off voice, probably second all-time to Optimus Prime. Finally, Sucker Punch looks rad and fun as hell. It's surely going to be a classic Zack Snyder film, I'm expecting all cutting edge visuals and action with a muffed punt storyline, but hell, who cares, jailbait for everyone. And fuck dude, Levee. Did I mention Cowboys & Aliens?

Of course though, the best trailer of the year comes from The Social Network.



It's been a while since we had a trailer as perfect as this. The song fits perfectly (Radiohead's "Creep" covered by Scala and Kolacny, conductors of a Belgian Girls' Choir). The trailer starts mildly enough with a montage of typical Facebook clips to hook us into our everyday lives then escalates brilliantly into tons of classic quotes ("The site got 2200 hits within two hours?" "22,000," You know what's cool? A BILLION dollars," "Your actions could have permanently destroyed everything I've been working on" "WE have been working on" and of course "MARK!") It's a short story in itself built upon expertly edited clips of a fantastic film. Smooch.

TOP TEN OF 2010:

Okay, finally what you came for. I'm going to run through this quick for all you out there.

#10: Exit Through the Gift Shop - I'm sold on the idea of this film and the artist/director behind it that pushes the boundaries of art and commercialism over the actual film. Which is also great.
#9: Toy Story 3 - Some bloggers on the interwebs have shut this down for being too emotionally manipulative. Hell, it's just good filmmaking, baby.
#8: Cyrus - Understated John C. Reilly who needs to tune his natural comedy chops along with dramatic credentials into more films like this. Ditto without the dramatic credentials to Jonah Hill.
#7: True Grit - Bridges owns and the rest don't come up short at all. Coens direct outside their own box.
#6: Hot Tub Time Machine - Uggh! Did you have pineapple today?!
#5: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World - the most refreshing movie of the year, also the most fun I've had at the Theater in a long-ass time.
#4: Black Swan - For the lesbian stuff alone this should get props, but built around it somehow is an excellent film.
#3: MacGruber - Yeah. Well, I thought it was fucking awesome. Best Supporting Actress for Kristen Wiig?
#2: Inception - So much of this film is incredible, it's the closet thing we have to a modern age excellent blockbuster, everything about this is pretty awesome, the ambiguity, the trippy hallway, brooding Leo, it's got everything.
#1: The Social Network - C'mon. It was.

LAST RAMBLINGS OF 2010:

I enjoyed Kick-Ass mostly for the Cage, Villain of the Year Mark Strong and hearing someone much worse use the word "cunt" so liberally, but it's certainly not an enlightening film, much less one that was supposed to break Superhero conventions. In fact by its end it's extremely conventional. My favourite comedy moments are really a toss up between Sean Diddy Combs in  Get Him to the Greek or Mark in The Other Guys. I saw neither coming at all. Actually, along with Kristen, Diddy should get Best Supporting Actor. He's fucking awesome. Well, probably not, but everything out of his mouth in that film could have ran for funniest quote of the year. Seriously though, will Bale win for The Fighter? Who the hell knows, but Mark trained for half a decade for that film. That counts for something, right? And The King's Speech...isn't that really the kind of bullshit movie the Oscars always kind of glance at this year but doesn't do shit because it's kind of bullshit? Yeah.

By the way, anybody see Dogtooth? That's some fucked up shit!

Oh and scores. Um...everyone went techno but Trent beats Daft Punk. Owned.

Cheers to 2011, it's like living the future...today!

On Facebook, Part II: Daily Life

Now as I described a few weeks ago, the Social Networking Site known as Facebook as slimed its way into our lives through exclusivity, addictiveness and from facilitating the ability to stalk each other. There are more subtle ways it has affected our every day life, however, which I'll discuss today. I cannot understate the ubiquity of Facebook to the Millennial Generation and younger. Facebook is the site we check whenever we open up the Internet, it's the last one we check when we leave, and dammit, it's about everything we check in between. I'd like to discuss in a bit today some Unspoken Facebook Laws that we've developed in our new little society. But first -

"I could really use a friend right now."
"Okay dude, I'm here for you."
"Okay, then get on Facebook and fertilize my crops."

Apparently hundreds of millions of people actually spend a majority of their time on Facebook playing Third-Party Application Games. That's right, Hundreds of Millions of People. Personally, I believe this to be insane and idiotic. The kinds of games on Facebook are needy and addictive with very little reward. You bother all of your barely close associates to join your fake Mafia game or grow Farm Cows. It's bizarrely time-consuming and not really that cool I mean, at least in World of Warcraft (2004) you can get high levels and explode some shit and fight Dragons. All Farmville is good for is getting big cows. Hip-hoo-fucking-ray.

But a discussion of the daily influence of Facebook would be remiss without its mention. Somehow people have literally died over this stuff. It's sick. It's insane. I tend to think about how the Industrial Revolution allowed for the conglomeration and expansion of farming techniques, freeing up larger portions of the population to partake in more specialised fields, eventually broadening our societal and cultural spectrum, allowing for greater leisure time, cash flow and sense of independence that provided the Capitalist foundation for this great nation. Now we spend all that leisure time pretending to do what our ancestors toiled over. That's not really a reason to hate Farmville, but it's still a monumental waste of time. It's easy and addictive enough, however, to catch a huge amount of the population's eyes, which helps to broaden Facebook's demographic as well as keep folks on the site longer, increasing ad value, which all goes into Zuckerberg's pocket.

Am I the only one who thinks of these things?

Thank Zuck for 'It's Complicated'

Let's talk about Relationships. Now, all those people spending 8 hours a day on Facebook who aren't raising E-Goats are either stalking ex-lovers (and pounding meat to them) or stalking complete strangers (and pounding meat to them). Facebook has become the perfect Mastubatory Warm-Up to a Hardcore Porn Session. You've done it, c'mon.

Facebook might as well be named the "Stalker Revolution" rather than the "Social Revolution." It's creepy- now I'll share a true story with you, I was at the bank waiting for the Teller in a waiting room (why the hell does it take so long to give people your money?) and there was this cute girl there. I made some small talk and she was clearly not interested. On my way out I glanced at the sign-in sheet and saw her name. Within three minutes of Facebook time I had found her profile, including where she went to school, basic interests and some sexy pics. Now, the point of this is really that Facebook is able to replace any kind of Human Interaction (wasn't that Zuck's dream?). Now, I'm not stalking this girl, I forgot her name the day after, but if you really try to use Facebook for shit like that it's frightening how easy it is. This is all completely private, socially shameless and nearly undetectable.

Stalking aside, Facebook has changed the way we take Real Relationships. To be clear, you're not really dating a person (or married to them) until you've declared it on Facebook. It's bizarre how seriously some people take this. The same is true for friendships, really. Facebook has become the most basic of all human interaction for any form of relationship. It's insulting if you're not someone's Facebook Friend, because it's such a low level of relationship. I'm friends with people I hung out with at College Parties at different colleges from my own six years ago. But fuck, I gotta now how they're dinners were from Tuesday night. This is fucked up.



And truly, thank Zuck for "It's Complicated." Finally a way to describe that "sort-of" fooling around relationship you have in College (and real life). And the Poke. Hell yeah that's an easy way to flirt. And if you do it to a member of the same sex, what an incredible joke right, eh eh? Shit. That vid above is real old by the way, some of the Facebook Standards are a bit dated, but you get the just of it (actually it harkens back to a time I described in Part I when Facebook was just for College Kids. This video shows why that was awesome). To take this further though, our lives have begun to fit around the confines of Facebook rather than the other way around.

Hagel Zuckerberg, Besitzer von Leben

What we must always keep in mind then, what we seriously must always think of is the simple fact that Facebook is not a faceless entity. It is not some arbitrary spot on the Internet where we can place our lives. I don't mean our basic contact info, our interests (which are trolled and searched by search engine companies like Google and Yahoo, formed into data and sold to commercial companies such as Amazon, among others. But you knew that) or pictures of us barfing at prom. We place our lives here, our communication with our species, our knowledge of each other, how we relate to each other and how we judge and think of each other. Facebook is everything.

It is not arbitrary. It comes from what a drunken Harvard sophomore thought was cool. Zuckerberg invented the interface, the books/movies/quotes sections we fill with our dreams and almost every other foundational concept. We've got to learn not to mindlessly accept his standard o social interaction and remain vigilant towards our own best interest. Now, this could just be angry liberal bitching but there is a good degree of independence lost whenever we log on.

So can't we just scrap it?

I've thought about this. I really wrestle with the issue of whether or not deleting my profile would prove enlightening or just incredibly douchey. I've had friends who get rid of their accounts. What ends up happening is that they're not invited to parties or events, they aren't communicated with (how did phones become such a hassle? Texting is still basically Nigga Technology). Although to be fair, if you love the ladies, by default you love Cetera. Is my point getting through the pop culture? You're a douche if you delete Facebook. No one will talk to you. We don't have a choice anymore. If you want to truly enlighten yourself, in a live-in-an-ashram-in-India-sort of way, sure, get rid of Facebook. The rest of us will still be poking.

I'll leave you with one last anecdote here to consider, which is our future. I know a girl on Facebook who went on got herself preggers. What's fucked is that this kid's life, from conception (Wall Post from Random Dude: "Hey, fun night last night, so glad we didn't use rubbers!") to how everyone else found out (Wall Post from Friends: "Hey just heard the news, Congrats! Boy or Girl?!") to live status updates in delivery room to finally, picks of huge tummy then baby child, this kid's life will be on Facebook. Let that motherfucker sink in. This kid's life from Conception is on chronicled on Facebook, all stored on the Harddrives in Zuckerberg's underground mansion.

I think it's time for an Oppenheimer quote.

Here are some quick links for further reading, because you should think about this more:

Twitter, Facebook and Social Activism - New Yorker

OMG: brains can’t handle all our Facebook friends

Film Version of Zuckerberg Divides Generations

Will the Revolution Be Tweeted? Striking the Right Balance with Social Media

One last note, I had lost the links for a few of these articles but I know I had posted a few of them on Facebook so I trolled through my old Stati to find them. One of Facebook's many ironies. I'll also post this article on Facebook. Follow us!

On Facebook, Part I: History Lesson

Before I get into some juicy Facebook Ranting here, which has been stewing ever since I gazed upon Fincher's Bible I need to make a few comments:

1) I haven't posted much the past week because I'm trying desperately to make Fantasy Football Playoffs. The only team with more points that I had last week was the team I was playing against. That will not happen this week, not if Seattle's piss-poor run defense and my timely Brian Westbrook pickup have anything to do with it.

2) Why the hell is that Twilight Post I made last year one of the top posts of the week around here? Is it full of people seeking its degradation or fans looking for juicy info? Do Twilight Fans even read Internet Essays on their Franchise or just Google image search for Cedric Diggory (Sorry, I'm still getting ABC Family Harry Potter Weekend Events out of my mind)? The irony that surrounds either fanbase is still very entertaining to me - anti-Twilighters searching hard for Twilight Material or Twihards finding nothing to fuel their obsession.

Where the hell was I? Oh, Facebook. Facebook is dangerous.

The number one reason that Facebook really sucks is because we've started to base our lives around what a Drunk Harvard Sophomore thought would be cool. Yeah, I'm not going to rant here about the privacy issues, the exposure of stoner pics to potential employers or your creepy uncle wanting to be your friend and poking you every day. I'm much more concerned with how Facebook effects our actual lives.

Firstly, I'd say there are at least three separate generations of Facebook Users. The first Generation was about anyone who graduated College let's say Class of '06 to Class of '10. Anyone much older had attended classes without Internet Stalking for too long to really capture their interest, much younger people weren't in school yet for that first excitement. So now a personal history lesson:

Whoever's profile this is comes up first on a Google Search for Early Facebook. Lucky you.

I graduated Hiram College in Hiram, OH Class of Oh Eight. The first year Facebook was in existence was based primarily on exclusivity. The social networking site got a huge advantage over MySpace because it had stricter privacy controls that only allowed your college or friends from other colleges from viewing your shit. See, some of us back then still had brains and knew anything put on the internet would probably end up coming back to us. It spread to big schools first and then smaller institutions had to send tons of e-mails to the CEOs (who we later learned was Zuck) to appeal our campuses. This built insane hype, especially being at a smaller school while all my other friends rambled about how glorious this new fad was. Spring 2005 my campus got Facebook, we went nuts. So these kids I consider First Generation, the college kids who had at some point in their lives experienced Facebook when it was only on Campus.

Those were good days, actually. It was like Facebook was all ours. Actually it was primarily used to post Drunken Pics, stalk girls and conveniently plan parties. That's all I still use Facebook for, but it's potential has greatly expanded. There was this sense though that Facebook was "ours" you know, it's what separated us from wiener High School kids and worse than that, parents. Anytime your parents get into something like this it instantly becomes uncool. It's like hearing my dad say "I need to GTL, dawg." I can never watch Shore again. Unfortunately, on Facebook's warpath towards Global Ubiquity, that's exactly what happened.

Second Generation got into the party when Faceook expanded to High Schoolers. Ugh that sucked. Instead of being full of pot-smoking kids who faked reading Nietzsche you had pot-smoking kids who faked reading Nietzche AND watched Anime. Rough times. That adds such a terrible dimension to that stereotype really. Anyway, by getting kids earlier Facebook established itself in existence in its users lives by that many more years. It's like fucking smoking.

Actually my profile pic December 2006. So Creative.

So finally, there's everyone else. Facebook expanded to your boss, CBS news and your Grandmother. Facebook was like that cool bar that only you and your friends new about and loved it because you would be the only guys there, but then suddenly it was the coolest place to hang out and everyone's there. It's loud, crowded, people spilling drinks on you as they struggle to get to the bathroom. Sure the walls are the same and on Tuesdays there's enough room to play darts, but it's not the same. Actually, the same thing happened to Dane Cook. If you were a fan pre-Retaliation (2005) and pre-Waiting...(2006) you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'll stop the tangents in second.

So the point of these ramblings is simply thus that Facebook is now unescapable. A good argument among friends is now "Would it be better to own the Entire NFL or Facebook for the Next Ten Years." If you're older than 25 you might be tempted to say NFL, but if you're younger and pay attention you'll say Facebook.

Stay tuned dear readers, after the most Rambling Post in NMW history (not bloody likely) next time I'll get into more of our present dilemma. That is of course assuming Christopher Ivory and Jacoby Ford have good games this weekend.

Hey! Twit us up.

As foreshadowed here, Norwegian Morning Wood has also invaded Twitter as of this very night. Follow comments deemed even far too stupid for Facebook over @ NM_Wood. Clever, clever, I know. Facebook will probably have more news and links while Twitter really is an incredible dumb service (also very poorly crafted in html and pretty un-user friendly. That is, unless you're a gerbil, of course). I have no desire therefore to fill Twitter with my keenest observations, but people seem to like it so it's there and I'll attempt to pimp it out.

Enjoy, I spent the last 45 minutes getting the colouration just right. You're right, it sucks...

So have it, hoss, NMW is storming into the 21st Century.

Now Catch Norwegian Morning Wood on Facebook!

Hello dear readers on the interweb! Here we have the third NMW post concerning everyone's favourite privacy-invading, data-collecting, multi-billion dollar, society-revolutionizing networking website, Facebook. As some of you might already be doing so, you may now follow updates via your Facebook at Norwegian Morning Wood's Official Page.

It's actually a neat opportunity as a side-stepped addendum to what we like to do around here - movies, pop culture and any other kind of bullshit that crosses our path. Facebook and Twitter allow for these gerbil-sized attention span notes. Whereas I've always attempted to avoid crooning on movie news and gossip, instead focusing more on film content and analysis, the 420-long Facebook character posts allow for much briefer synopses of Pop Goings-On that may be interesting to our readers (you).

A Twitter account will also be set up very shortly as soon as things get organised around here. For now though, the Facebook account will serve to capture little headlines, links, videos or whatever other garbage I've always wanted to post but deemed too insignificant to get into around here. Of course, following either the Facebook or Twitter accounts will also grand you access to any normal NMW updates as well.

So go be our friend. Do not doubt Facebook's omnipresence. It could destroy you in scrabble.

First Impressions: The Social Network, Part II: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Facebook

As The Social Network (2010) has remained the number one film in the country for the second weekend in a row, I'm left with a few more items to ramble about. You can check out some primary musings about the acting and other technical aspects of this fantastic film over here. Today we're going a bit grander - examining this flick and its subject matter in its context within zeitgeist, major themes and its place among the social revolution. Let's get to it:

 

This is Mark. The real Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook (doubtful of the legitimacy of that claim? Um...watch The Social Network), the world's youngest billionaire, and the greatest percentage gainer on the Forbes 400 list from 2009 - 2010. Checking out this kid's bank is sick, he makes AVABAR (2009) look like a Soup Kitchen. He's coasting on a cool $6.9 Billion thanks to his 24% share in Facebook (which implies Facebook getting a sweet $28 Billion or so total worth, although this company took a few years to turn a good profit). Wikipedia has a great bit on how this is possible at all, it's hard to believe that Zuck gets this bank through advertising alone. Essentially, Facebook advertising is ridiculously valuable.

As self-published, nearly 50% of Facebook's 500 million users check the site at least once daily. That's 250 million folks exposed to advertising on any given day. To place this in perspective, the #1 Television show for the WEEK last week was ABC's Dancing with the Stars at 21,341,000 million viewers. Regarding movies, as I said earlier, the #1 film of the week was The Social Network at $18,703,991 worldwide. If we for the sake of easiest estimated argument guess $10 a ticket (for some reason I don't think the 3-D Social Network sold well), around 1.8 million people saw a movie about Facebook around the world while 250 million people checked Facebook around the world. The website has cemented its status as a societal institution and for all its importance Mark gets another check. As you can tell, this trend is only increasing.

So all this is saying is that Facebook is one of the most profitable, invasive and important companies in the world. Zuckerberg's genius deserves praise (recognition) as much as he deserves his status as privacy-demolishing asshole. The Social Network, with whatever liberties they took (probably lots) demonstrate this idea brilliantly in its opening moments. Eisenberg as Zuckerberg is cocky and confident in his own element and exhibits a unique understanding of what other people want. He has troubles however, relating to other people. It's a unique dialogue, Zuckerberg is able to distance himself and diagnose the desires and interests of those around him without ever identifying with them on a personal level. His genius is incomparable (many of the classroom scenes also demonstrate this), but it comes with this bitter resentment of both lack of aforesaid recognition and respect, a direct result from his off-putting demeanor. He's thus in a pretty awful circle that he could release himself from if he were any one else.

There's almost this idea of talent wasted on the young. Zuckerberg puts himself on everyone's map by getting silly drunk and hacking into half of Harvard University's student records with his Facemash Application. Genius goes to his head. He has this nerdy confidence in his own effort, surely deserved on some part. He talks down to Harvard Administrators, high-priced Lawyers (including an incredible scene articulating exactly why the Winklevai lawyer is literally not worth his full attention) and finally showing an extreme disregard for business rivals.

Zuckerberg and Sean Parker in the film represent everything people like the Winklevai fear in New Money. They lack regard for gentlemanly conduct. As one of the Winklevoss twins (I freely admit they are different characters, but I cannot name which is which. Tyler or Cameron. You sucked in Beijing) mused for most of the film, there is supposed to be this unspoken sense of decorum among the Harvard University Class System. These kids who have just fallen in money don't share this notion. They in fact have no concept of how they are "supposed" to act. In fact, the film works in part because it's pretty believable watching what would happen if all these nerd college jagoffs suddenly find themselves self-made billionaires. Look how they spend their first summer. They're Programmer Rock Stars. In between marathon coding sessions they're hitting clubs and sucking bongs with random groupies. No one told them how to act, when they try to make it up for themselves they crash and burn.



This interactive trailer is really cool and full of some interesting facts. What's great about this film is that it simultaneously signals the arrival of Facebook through an origin story, yet by its creation it also dilutes the impact of the supposed social revolution. Director, David Fincher, Writer, Aaron Sorkin and Star, Jesse Eisenberg all do not use Facebook. This almost comes true in the film - the Eduardo Saverin character also does not know how to use the site despite being the CFO. The creators of the film claim  to have created a film based on character and plot, rendering the ultimate Zeitgeist story timeless. This is very true, but part of what faults this from being a perfect film is this lack of commentary on how deep the Social Revolution has hit its generation. Indeed this really won't break until the first generation of Facebook Users (ME.) are out there controlling society and running everything off the site.

Landon Palmer's column over here hits on some of these ideas. He contends that the film's treatment of the Founding of Facebook are more examples of business truisms from yesterday applied today. What's certain is that this film is going to mean very different things to different generations. Somehow it's already ranked as one of the highest-grossing College Comedies (this is a comedy?) and actually shows more of College than any other film on that list. Actually, the only major difference between life depicted in the film and College life during the past half-decade is the lack of Facebook Usage. Drinking and Drama. Is there anything else?

I'll go back to Zuckerberg one more time to wrap this up. The Social Network is an incredible film, and the ending, while somewhat predictable to fulfill Zuck's character arc also has a lot of meaning. Tying into his opening distance he exhibits with all his personal relationships, his social loneliness remains high despite his efforts to bring people together. Throughout the film though, it is clear that none of his motivations are altruistic. Refreshing Erica Albright's (Rooney Mara) page after a friendship request is Zuck's perfect "rosebud" scene. The only thing he wants is what he wanted before all this shit. Despite all his effort and accomplishment to make up for his shortcomings, none replace what he really needs, which is that intimate human connection. In essence, this is the best treatise against Facebook itself. Ones and Zeroes will never replace actually talking and developing a relationship with another human being.

As Zuckerberg basically admits in the film, users primarily are addicted to Facebook for boning, or at least the thought of boning. This is the ultimate irony of Facebook that exists every time you log on (hey oh!)- does it increase or decrease friendships? Do our relationships become too technical and facebook-icised? The scene when Saverin's girlfriend is pissed at him for not changing their Relationship Status comes to mind as a perfect example. In our lives it's no longer real until it's on Facebook. Shit never happened if photos are not on Facebook. People won't come to Events unless they're posted on Facebook. Is it streamlining lives or complicating them?

I don't have these answers. Maybe Facebook does. Now go out and Facebook us...

First Impressions: The Social Network, Part I

I had the good fortune to check out one of the best films of the year so far this past weekend. I went alone because no one else wanted to see it. Dammit, this is Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) all over again...I present to you, The Social Network (2010):

Really the only fault in this film is the somewhat generic plot. It's a rise-to-the-top-but-abandon-everyone-and-everything-that-matters kind of schtick. Some comparisons around the Interwebs have already been made to Citizen Kane (1941), There Will Be Blood (2007) and Goodfellas (1990). Of course what might run through your mind is that these are all incredible movies, all three some of the greatest of all time. Does The Social Network par up?  Probably not with these three, but it's like comparing cheese pizza to pizza with pepperoni, sausage and pineapple - a bit less flavour, but its still some damn good pizza (Daniel Plainview is surely the pineapple). Right. On with it then.

Every technical part of this film is incredible. The writing of Aaron Sorkin jumps out from the first few phrases between Zuckerberg (Eisenberg) and his gf (Rooney Mara) and never lets up. It's quick-paced, purposeful, succinct and incredibly tight. I'd be heavily surprised if this didn't pull down Best Adapted Screenplay come February. The words bounce around like silk, they pour and drip and soothe, it's ingenious. The editing interweaves impeccably between flashbacks and court cases, occasionally dawdling on the former, although its structure isn't bound to the hearings as a strict framing device. I was actually reminded of Goodfellas while watching some parts in which the plot is developed through sequence rather than scene. This is tough to do and David Fincher nails it. The editing is crisp, hardly a scene lingers longer than it should, and its two hour running time never feels dragging or hurried. To a tee the creators crafted this film beautifully.

The plot is tight. Character is quickly established and every lead is given a reasonable motive, even folks like the Winklevai (Armie Hammer played both twins, a fact impossible to know unless you knew it. There are many special effect folks in the credits due in part to this seemless constant effect [including multi-person, crowd dialogue, double rowing scenes and slightly different hairstyles] that Fincher pioneered with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button [2008]. Nice to see that technology applied. Now if we can figure out something to do with technology used for Transformers (2007)...Gobots: The Reckoning (2013)? wow that was  long tangent) have a justifiable, if not douchey arc and motivation. Eisenberg and Fincher paint Zuckerberg as an ironically socially awkward, borderline Asperger Syndrome, wannabe asshole wunderkind who was continuously bitter towards the people closest to him. He's almost unlikeable, throughout it's much easier to identify with Eduardo Saverin (impressive performance by future Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield). Saverin's lack of expertise and seemingly lack of ambition however, doom his association with the idea of a generation from the start.

This generational capture, the notion of striking the kettle as it's hot comes largely from Sean Parker (JT). In the film Sean is this rock star kind of programmer, business cutthroat, the "devil" the creation myth needs. It's he who pushes Zuckerberg the most to capitalise on his great idea. It's important to note however, that neigher Sean nor Mark are really in this thing for the money (which Mark admits a handful of times). As he said with Napster, it's not about getting rich - it's about changing industry, changing the world. The true life Sean Parker seems to agree. Whether Zuckerberg threw Eduardo out due to Parker's influence, Saverin's lack of common ideology or simple resentment over his inclusion in Harvard's Phoenix Club is debatable. At its core though, The Social Network tends to be about what happens when normal, socially-flawed college students are suddenly given the opportunity of a lifetime. They fuck up.

I have a bit more to say about this flick, but I'll leave you with that for now. Stay tuned, dear readers, Part II will drop sometime in the next couple of days.