Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... spending some suspension down-time

with serial ball-deflater Tom Brady.

The NY Post published these shots of the quarterback lounging buns-up and out pool-side with his supermodel wife this morning -- I guess he wanted some of that heat that Orlando Bloom got? (We all want that heat, Tom. We all do.) There are several more after the jump...

Gratuitous Danny Amendola

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For those of you who keep up with sports you're probably gonna side-eye me for this one, especially since I've been so hyper-aware of his teammates Tom Brady and Julian Edelman and Rob Gronkowski, but somehow the jock beauty of New England Patriots wide receiver Danny Amendola had completely escaped me until yesterday, yes yesterday.

And I'm sure I'm not even the first person to comment upon this but what is going on with the Patriots hotness-wise? Does Tom Brady insist on only being surrounded by the most beautiful people, or what? If so Tom Brady deserves all of his Super Bowl rings and billions of dollars, I don't care how many balls he puts his lips onto to inflate. (That was the controversy, right?)

Anyway, hi there Danny Amendola! I should probably use this here Super Bowl Weekend moment of gratuity for someone on one of the actual teams playing this weekend but I honestly have absolutely zero idea who is in the Super Bowl this weekend. I could google it, but... no. I don't care! Somebody can go ahead and tell me if there are hot guys worth checking out on the other teams in the comments, but for now, let's just hit the jump and stare at a few dozen more pictures of this hot dude right here...

Raise Your Legs If You're Gronk

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A couple of weeks ago I shared some pictures of New England Patriot and prominent meat-head Rob Gronkowski posing for the photographer Bruce Weber for some magazine or other; well now there's a behind-the-scenes video!

And it's filled with stuff like that!

 An A+ to everybody involved. Watch it here:

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And you can see an older post full of Gronk at this link.

Good Morning, World

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I hope the ascendancy of Julian Edelman as a hot piece of jock ass wasn't slowed down by that ball deflating thing. Everything got laid on Brady, right? Brady's past his hot prime so I'm fine with letting him go in exchange for this one here. I prefer Julian with his big full beard but he's perfectly acceptable this way too! (See lots more of him here.) Anyway thanks to Rob for alerting MNPP to this video over here which is one minute of footage like you see here. And of course the top YouTube comment is "You're such a stud... no homo." Homo. Total homo.

Which is Hotter?

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I heard there's like a game this weekend?

Something to do with balls?

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poll by twiigs.com

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The Brady Beach

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(via) Hey we were just talking about Tom Brady the other day! Hrmm maybe if I'd have specifically mentioned his jockstrap we'd have gotten even better shots. Done, and... done? Come on, world!

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Tom Brady Two Times

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(click to embiggen) I've posted shots from this 2007 magazine spread here and here but this pair's new to me, so have at it. Why not? Once upon a time we liked to look at him. Does Tom Brady still play football even? I mean, I am not the person to have this conversation, I haven't watched a football game in a decade. But I don't ever see him anywhere anymore. I guess I stopped looking when he grew his hair out into that awful mop.

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Tom Brady Six Times

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(via) Our long national nightmare of his old hair can now be, if not forgotten, shuffled off and compartmentalized with all those icky traumatic memories buried deep within our subconscious that we only access in the deepest and darkest of our drug and/or meatball-induced nightmares.

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Who Wore It Best?

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Topless with the pigskin?

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poll by twiigs.com

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I was going to be timely with the Super Bowl coming up and ask y'all which was hotter, Brady or the Giants quarterback Eli Manning, (feel free to offer your answer to that query in the comments if you're passionate enough about it), but then I saw that Tebow and Brady had both posed the same way as seen above and it was too good to pass up. Also, it gives me the opportunity to post the pictures where these two almost kissed recently:

In summation, Tim Tebow is such a closet case.

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Tom Brady Four Times

I guess it's turning out to be a sportsman kinda day, jumping from Andy to Tom here (and let's not forget Jake's spazz-lypmics moment... actually, let's)... and hey, there are worse types of days for it to be. A day spent harvesting whale blubber springs to mind.

Via the new issue of Details, via my bud Jarett at PopWrap.
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Happy Birthday, Mr. Brady

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Brady Take Two

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I figure I might as well finish the set that I started yesterday; here's the second new ad for Smart Water with Tom Brady (via)... minus all that annoying Smart Water nonsense getting between us and the Brady-ness, of course.
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Long Time No Swoon, Tom Brady

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This was an ad for Smart Water, but I photo-shopped all that ad-speak bullshit outta the way it was distracting. You can see the original ad over here, but why bother? So much better with TB as the focus. Mmmm Tom Brady... he has such a pretty shaped head, doesn't he? That sounds so serial-killer-y - like, ooh, that head would look great on a stick! - but it's true! The pretty shaped head part, not the serial-killer, head-on-a-stick part... ahem... moving on...
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Not Bad, Tom Brady

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(via) But I thought we talked about this. It looks like you've maybe spent some of your time off beefing up a little, but I thought we decided you'd get yourself some sort of lucrative undergarment spokesman deal like Becks has done. So that shit better show up in my in-box, or we're gonna have to have words. And don't try to deflect me with that gangly she-horse bride of yours either.
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The First Thing...

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... that I said in response to hearing the news that Tom Brady was going to be out all season with an injury?

"Does this mean he'll finally have time to do that Calvin Klein underwear campaign he was rumored to have been offered?"

Am I not the most predictable gay? Always with the one track mind.
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This Picture Of Tom Brady Made Me Dizzy

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Seriously, I clicked on this link and there it was and WHAM... my head felt funny. Like it was swimming... I have to go put my head between my knees. Or Tom Brady's knees. Whatever.
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Quote of the Day

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From an article entitled "The Tom Brady Man Crush" - this final bit on straight Giants fans who've contracted the dreaded T.B.M.C. made me chuckle:

"So as the case for the crush mounts, the question arises: Can Giants fans escape the pull?

"I think that Giants fans have a strict, unspoken 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy about their feelings for Tom Brady," Philbrick speculates. He may be right.

"I'll always root for the Giants. Brady won't affect that," says Andrew Pagano, 28, a Queens-born private-school teacher, about his home team loyalty. But he does admit to being wooed by the ways of the quarterback.

The Giants have "had a backup quarterback on 'The Bachelor,' but he was a backup quarterback. Brady is the whole package ... and he just seems like a nice guy." But on game day, life-long Giants fan Michael Chiat, 30, sums up the dichotomy of the man crush.

"When Brady's on the field, we just hope that the defense pounds him into the ground," says the Manhattan-based architect. "But then he gets to the side-line, takes his helmet off, and it's like wow - he's got a good head of hair.""

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Too Good To Be True

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I think that, no matter how many voodoo dolls I prick nor human sacrifices I make, this story's too wonderful to ever come to pass. Sigh. Via Towleroad:

"According to a report in the Boston Globe: "In Touch Weekly is reporting that the Pats quarterback is being wooed to become the next celebrity model for - wait for it - Calvin Klein underwear. The mag says the football star's been offered more than $1 million to follow in the footsteps of former Funky Buncher Mark Wahlberg, whose stint in Calvin Klein skivvies served him very well indeed. Brady, who had limited his endorsement deals in past years, is suddenly pitching everything from watches (Movado) to bottled water (Glaceau). While Brady is undecided, In Touch says his supermodel sweetheart, former Victoria's Secret gal Gisele Bundchen, supports the idea.""

Come on Gisele! Work your magic-booby power and get this done!
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Tom Brady Is Naked

I might as well take yesterday's Tom-Brady-palooza to its logical extreme - this is purported to be Mr. Brady au naturel in the locker-room:


I can't tell if that's him for sure or not, but it's a nice thought, thinking it is.

(src)

Speak of the Devil...

No sooner do I whine for more Tom Brady V Man pictures than Towleroad adds another shot, this one bettering the wet-tee by being no-tee:

In related news, it's obviously a good thing the boyfriend's flying back into town tonight, because this place is really turning into a sausage-fest today and I need... ahem... wow, I really almost ventured into TMI territory there... nevermind! Ahem. Sometimes the mind just wanders...
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