Thursday's Ways Not To Die

Lethal Weapon (1987)

I guess it's been longer since I'd seen Lethal Weapon than I realized because I have no memory at all of this ridiculous scene -- why the hell is Tom Atkins suddenly holding a carton of Egg Nog in front of himself like that??? Why did Gary Busey just shoot him through it... besides Busey gonna Busey??? But truth be told the only thing I do actually remember about Lethal Weapon is Mel Gibson's ass reveal...

...and, granted, that was enough in my tender youth to get Little Me to watch this movie dozens of times. This one definitely fell under the banner of straight guy movies that little gay boys could watch and get something out of them that their peers were not, alongside every movie Jean-Claude Van Damme made. Anyway I'm not here to ogle the ass of an asshole -- I'm here to celebrate the 87th birthday of the genre icon Tom Atkins, who inexplicably cradled that carton of egg nog like the goddamned professional he is. Legend!

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Thursday's Ways Not To Die

It's always a shame when David Corenswet has to go but we do sure like watching him walk away. Hit the jump for the rest...

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

This week's big news that a bunch of Hong Kong classics that've never gotten proper releases here in the U.S. are going to be getting just that thanks to Shout Studios new sub-label called Hong Kong Studio Classics made me remember that that there shamefully are a great big pile of early John Woo action flicks I've never seen. So I decided to rectify that and I began my journey over the weekend by watching Woo's beloved 1992 flick Hard Boiled, which stars Chow Yun-fat and Tony Leung in a criss-crossy tale of cops acting criminal-like and vice versa, and wow wow wowee what an action masterclass! There's so much wildly over-the-top (in an entertaining way) violence in this movie that I could've chosen any of a number of scenes, but how could I resist a lightly homoerotic encounter between Tony Leung and a vibrantly-mustachioed mark in a library??? Tony Leung plus bookshelves plus bloodshed?? Are you kidding me? I'm in heaven. Hit the jump for the rest...

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

Sometimes I wonder if there is still magic to be discovered in this world, but this morning I am here to tell you kiddos that yes, there is -- there is still magic! Look no further than me discovering in the year 2025 that Texas Chain Saw director Tobe Hooper made I'm Dangerous Tonight, a Made-For-TV thriller in 1990 about an evil red dress possessed by Incan Devilry that starred Twin Peaks actress Mädchen Amick, Psycho star Anthony Perkins, E.T. & Cujo icon Dee Wallace, and... R. Lee Ermey? Because why not?

You'd think I'd have read something about this movie when my beloved Peter Strickland's killer red dress classic In Fabric came out in 2018 but if somebody did mention it it completely slipped past me -- only this week did I learn of its existence when Letterboxd made a list of movies about "Cursed Objects" (thanks to the release of Oz Perkins' The Monkey) and mentioned this film. Obviously I had to watch it immediately -- I couldn't even wait for the blu-ray to arrive in the mail, I watched the shitty quality copy that you see in these gifs. And it was worth every second of squinting!

Tobe clearly knew he had to lean hard into the camp, so this thing is soapy, it's stupid, it's trash, and I loved every fucking second of it. But let's get to this death scene here --  Mädchen's sex-obsessed cousin Gloria (Daisy Hall, chewing the walls themselves) steals the dress from Mädchen and upon putting it on immediately goes into a slutty rage. Her ten foot tall actual linebacker boyfriend obviously never stood a chance! Hit the jump for the rest of the scene...

Halloween's Ways Not To Die

Let's all go to the movies, let's all go to the moooovies, let's all go to the movies... and have ourselves a snack! I know I shamefully haven't done one of our "Ways Not To Die" series in awhile but since it's the greatest day of the year today I figured we should celebrate and what better way than with one of the greatest death scenes in all of cinema? Hit the jump for our take on the movie theater scene in 1973's Messiah of Evil...

Thursday's Ways Not To Die

Las Vegas, "Mothwoman" (2005)

To be honest I hadn't thought of this legendary moment in television history in a long time, so huge props to the anonymous commenter who popped on here this morning to comment on this 2010 post of mine giving me the access to video of this scene that I had been desiring. It only took fourteen years but I think we can all agree it was worth it! 

Fuck all the canonical moments like the last scene of The Sopranos or Henry Blake's helicopter going down on M.A.S.H. -- this ranks up there with Rosalind falling down the elevator shaft on L.A. Law and Kimberly blowing up the Melrose Place apartment complex (nevermind tearing off of her wig!) among the real greatest TV death scenes of all time. Lara, you goddamned legend!

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previous "Ways Not To Die" posts...

Friday the 13th's Ways Not To Die

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

I don't have a ton of time to devote to a "Ways Not To Die" post today given I am as of today suddenly in the middle of three, yes THREE, film festivals -- NYFF is still going through this weekend while both NewFest and the Brooklyn Horror Fest kick off today -- but since tomorrow is a real-world Friday the 13th, and one in the hallowed month of October on top of that, how could I not mark the occasion at least quick-like? Thankfully this death scene from the sixth film is short and sweet. Okay having one's face smashed through a metal wall isn't probably exactly "sweet" per se, but I always loved that special effect. Did it ever remind anybody else of this scene in A Nightmare on Elm Street: 

It always makes me think of that. I also always think the girl in this scene is Tawny Kitaen? I know it isn't but she gives off some big Kitaen vibes. And then there's the super cute boy (see below) who's driving the RV who Not-Tawny just boffed and who will, in a few seconds after this, get a knife in the neck. It's got it all! Sex, violence, RVs. A proper Friday the 13th scene, this one!

Hit the jump for links to all the previous Ways Not To Die...