Happy Armageddon

As twas once foretold -- i.e. as I said in a post yesterday right here -- I am running upstate to visit family and friends and see myself a goddamned full ass solar eclipse this weekend. So MNPP will be sitting quiet until Wednesday. Or perhaps forever? Who can say? I grew up in the Pentecostal Church, remember, so a full ass solar eclipse PLUS this morning's 4.8 earthquake here in NYC have me recalling all of the Rapture-tinged apocalypse lessons that were drilled into my youthful susceptible brain back in the day. But let's not get overly fretful. Let's just stare at the picture of Jake Gyllenhaal holding a puppy and think happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Just look at the goddamned puppy, Lizzie!

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... going into beast mode with Austin Nichols.

Well this is one way to grab our attention, Austin! I feel like I haven't seen him in anything in a bit -- since I didn't watch Minx or Ray Donovan the last time was probably The Walking Dead and hoo boy that was awhile ago -- but he does pop up on Insta every so often, and today was one of them times, and... hoo boy, was it. Hit the jump for the video (although I had to mute the music in the video because Austin went and used Beyonce over it which yeah YouTube was having none of) and a fine selection of sweaty gifs...

Good Morning, World

An excellent Tuesday to one and all from myself and Fear Street 

slash Walking Dead actor Ted Sutherland here. Hiya, Ted...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

The Humans (2021)

Erik: It's snowing out there.

Richard: I think someone from a

higher floor just emptied their ashtray.

I hope this movie doesn't end up totally forgotten -- I really loved it but it seemed to entirely slip through the cracks during awards season last year. One of the casualties of late year glut. I say definitely seek it out if you missed it. Anyway a happy birthday to Steven Yeun today!

The former Walking Dead star is turning 39 -- I don't know whether it was his decision to leave TWD or the producers but whoever made it as gross and awful as it was in its moment it ended up being the best decision ever! Because 1) it gave him the freedom to become a movie star, which he's pulled off with great aplomb, and 2) it finally cut the cord with me (and many many other viewers) from that show -- when they killed Glenn I never went back and never missed it for a second. Did any of you stick with it? 

Anyway Yeun has several projects lined up after this summer's successful team-up with Jordan Peele and Nope -- the most important one appears to be that he's re-teaming with Okja director Bong Joon-ho for Mickey 17 alongside Robert Pattinson, and I can't believe I hadn't posted that teaser trailer above yet. That's not even out until March of 2024 but listen to the cast -- Yeun and Pattinson and Toni Collette and Mark Ruffalo and Naomi Ackie (who's playing Whitney Houston in her biopic out this weekend). It's based on Edward Ashton's sci-fi novel Mickey7 -- wonder why they added ten to the title -- about a clone employee sent to colonize an ice planet. It sounds like Severance meets Edge of Tomorrow. 

Look in the Mirror & Say Gyllenhaal Five Times

On Monday I shared our first look at Jake Gyllenhaal in Antoine Fuqua's upcoming 9-1-1 operator thriller The Guilty, as well as the news that Netflix is dropping the movie on October 1st -- well two more photos have popped up since then, and here they are! These photos are assuaging my fears that Fuqua might've felt pressured to open the film out from the original (this is a remake) -- all I see so far is Jake and one location and I am super cool with that. I mean talk about a remake that was perfect for pandemic shooting. Anyway there was other Jake news in the past day -- it was announced that he's going to star in Oblivion Song, an a film adaptation of Robert Kirkman and Lorenzo De Felici’s graphic novel, which is about the survivor of some sort of apocalypse who spends his days rescuing people from a city once called Philly, now called Oblivion. (Subtle, that.) Kirkman is of course known best for The Walking Dead -- anybody read any of this Oblivion thing?

Colman Domingo Three Times

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The best part of these photos -- which apparently originated with Entertainment Weekly for their Comic-Con coverage of the new season of Fear the Walking Dead, but which I swiped off of Colman's Instagram account -- are what he had to say regarding the top one on that same Insta, and I quote:

"The day you realise that when someone says, Hey Daddy....they mean you. I see it now. 😂 I’m all in."

I'm ashamed to admit that even though Domingo's been acting since the 90s -- including a five-episode stint on my beloved The Knick! --  it wasn't until he played the fierce papa of If Beale Street Could Talk that I sat up in my chair and was like, "Wait, who's that?" He truly was exceptional in that film opposite the also exceptional Regina King -- they were easily my favorite thing in the movie...

Well them and that score, that gorgeous score. And then on top of all that you add on the fact that Domingo is openly gay in real life, which I only found out circa that film's awards-run, and WHAM we are Colman for life. Hey Daddy! Hey Daddy over here!!!
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How Much Would You Pay For Jon Bernthal?

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Exactly forty years after Richard Gere slipped into (and out of) some of the most stylish clothes ever put on a movie screen (in the process turning himself into forty years worth of a sex symbol) it looks like they're going to try to turn Paul Schrader's classic trash American Gigolo into a TV series, with The Punisher actor and bruiser fetish object Jon Bernthal selling his ass this time for top 2020 dollar. This gives me some feelings! And not just those ones, down there. Although obviously I mean those ones too. American Gigolo is still scorching hot here on forty years later -- I just re-watched it a year back and Richard Gere's charisma, which is one word for it, simply cannot be over-stated. Jon Bernthal, it must be said, is also mighty sexy! It's a very different kind of sexy, though...

Gay rumors about Richard Gere (nevermind the gerbils) probably found their footing thanks to his specific breed of anti-machismo -- even when he stomped his little feet and tried to lean into the New York Tough Guy thing (think Looking For Mr. Goodbar) he did it with a dancer's grace; it was never convincing, and he did it with a smile, like he knew he was playing a fetishized role for you. Bernthal on the other hand comes across much more convincingly as a genuine tough guy. There's a whole thread in the American Gigolo movie involving gay panic (I talked about it some back in 2018 when I last posted about this film) -- I can't remember how specific they get but as I recall Gere's male prostitute character Julian does not want to slide into tricking with men; I can't remember if he outwardly states that he'd done it before or not, but it's clear he prefers working with ladies (especially when they look like Lauren Hutton). 

Will this thread stay in a 2020 series run by the dude who made Ray Donovan and starring the dude who played The Punisher, or will it now be de-gayed? Has Jon Bernthal ever played any sort of gay before? I always got a little bit of a homoerotic whiff off of his relationship with Rick in The Walking Dead, but I can't think of anything else. I hope it stays! Keeping a male sex-worker rigidly heterosexual in this day and age seems real goofy to me. But we'll have to wait and see. For now let's spend some of that time with a few more Bernthal photos after the jump then...

13 Cakes of Halloween #3

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I haven't watched The Walking Dead in years and years and years so I don't even know if either of Michael Cudlitz or Josh McDermitt's characters remain alive at this point on it -- in related news, how the fuck is that show still on? -- but the 2015 video of them wishing their co-star Christian Serratos a happy birthday with nothing but some pink frosting and their enthusiastic tongues earns them a random spot of honor on our 2019 Halloween countdown, dead or alive. Now somebody find me the video of Steven Yeun and Jonny Bernthal doing this same thing, please.
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Tom Payne Eight Times

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I was interested in the upcoming Fox show Prodigal Son when it was first announced because I do love my daddy Michael Sheen, and him playing a serial killer sounded up my alley. But the trailers make it look like pretty standard network stuff, not at all up my alley after all, and also I'm curious what happened to Finn Jones playing the role of the manipulated son, who's now played by former Jesus Tom Payne, seen here via Flaunt Magazine. Anyway one of you guys tell me if the show's worth my ever shrinking allotment of time, and in return I'll share the rest of this shoot after the jump...

Good Morning, World

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A happy 43rd birthday to the actor Jon Bernthal today, who used to drive me right up the wall with some of his acting choices -- his accent on The Walking Dead was truly nightmare fuel -- but who then got a really fucking hot haircut which forced me to reevaluate my entire life and all of my choices. Really, it was that simple. There was before this haircut and there was after that haircut, and after that haircut everything had changed. He doesn't have that haircut in the wild and woolier moments seen here in these gifs from The Punisher, but who gives a holy fuck -- like I said, things have changed! Happy birthday, Jon! (And if you want a bonus shot of him worth the click click here.)

Steven Yeun Nine Times

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Spoiler alert: Steven Yeun didn't make the ongoing list of my 20 favorite performances of 2018 for his super work in Burning. Oh he was on the long list, which consisted of... carry the one... oh, just fifty-six people and performances. Phew. But at some point choices had to be made if I ever wanted to get my Pantys into a post-able bunch, and so I made choices. 

Still it seems like kismet that this photo-shoot for Flaunt magazine pops up today, so I can give the man some love after the stellar 2018 he had. He's made some great choices after leaving The Walking Dead (leaving The Walking Dead being among those great choices) and we're hoping he'll stick around, give us more. And now we'll give you more, as in pictures, after the jump...

Good Morning, World

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I think I'm far enough away from everything I hated about The Walking Dead to once again want some Jeffrey Dean Morgan in my life, which I realized while watching the mostly execrable Rampage. It was good to see him! Not as good as it was to see this, but good nonetheless. Let's get him back to groping twinks!

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Jon Bernthal Six Times

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Dreamy roughneck Jon Bernthal is currently the last man (emphasis on man) standing at Netflix, Marvel Superhero speaking - they've canceled our beloved Daredevil, our slightly less beloved Luke Cage, and Iron Fist which we never bothered to watch. I'm sure they're just burning off the last seasons of The Punisher and Jessica Jones, last woman standing, though, and once they're done they're done. Oh Jon Bernthal gonna be fine, guys. And speaking of "fine guys" (see what I did there) hit the jump for the rest of this shoot for Men's Health... 

Steven Yeun Six Times

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Yeah yeah we just posted a bunch of pictures of Steven less than a week ago - what of it? Let us enjoy our 2018 Cannes Boyfriend a little bit more, especially while doing his best James Dean posturing, yum. This shoot is for GQ Korea - his movie Burning, which got raves out of Cannes, opened in South Korea the day after premiering in France. No word on when we'll see it but one supposes it'll be this year, at least here in New York, the only place that matters. And you may now hit the jump for five more pictures...

Steven Yeun Eight Times

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I'm sure this weapon-stuffed photo-shoot of Steve dates back to his Walking Dead days but wielding deadly hammers is my mood this week so we're really feeling the pictures right now - plus he's getting career-best notices out of Cannes right now for Lee Chang-dong's film Burning, which is being praised by many as the best among the fest's very good round of movies this year. Hooray for Steven! I hope you're watching this, Melissa McBride! You deserve better reviews too! Hit the jump for the rest...

5 Off My Head: Floral Derangements

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May is officially here and the flowers are blooming and my allergies are whinging and the bees are swarming... oh, have I mentioned that I hate flowers? I know I photograph them an awful lot on my Instagram for them to be something I dislike but in case you haven't noticed I am full of such crazy-person contradictions. Mostly I dislike them (besides the bee thing) because I know when they're showing their sinister little faces it means Summer is nigh, and Summer can suck it - I'm a Winter Guy. Oh well. There's no fighting it for a couple months so let's try to be positive, and what better way than me making a list of...

My Five Favorite Movie / TV Flowers

The Cemetery Flowers Denis Lavant eats in Holy Motors

Tilda Swinton's Sex Flowers in I Am Love

Josh Hartnett's Horny Orchid in 40 Days & 40 Nights

Allan Payne's Petal Bed in Jason's Lyric

Carol's "Look at the flowers, Lizzie" on The Walking Dead

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What are your favorite Movie / TV flowers?

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As Fast As Ezra Can

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I didn't really review Justice League because what is there to say that can't be wailed unto the heavens via unintelligible gurgling screams but I did make mention of how ace Ezra Miller was in the movie as The Flash, calling him - and I stand by this a whole week and a half later so it must be true! - the only good thing about the film. Anyway that made us immediately care about a Flash movie where no care had been before, and so last night's news of new directors attached to the standalone movie grabbed our attention.

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it's actually not all that weird that the directors of the VACATION movie were hired to direct the FLASH movie when you think about it this way pic.twitter.com/byKTPXp7Uh

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 16, 2018

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That'd be John Francis Daley and Jonathan M. Goldstein who made the National Lampoon's Vacation remake, which I never saw save the scenes of Chris Hemsworth's fanciful wiener play. I think it's kind of notable that the former people attached to the movie were also a tag-team duo (that'd be LEGO Movie's Phil Lord and Chris Miller) and we've got the Russo Brothers taking over half of Marvel's roster (oh plus Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck making the Captain Marvel movie) - I guess the studios have learned the value of two directors for the price of one (or probably like 1.5) when attempting to steer these unwieldy behemoth projects. Anyway Ezra Miller deserves good things, let's hope that DC can get their shit together and make that happen. And now just because we're here anyway I ask you...

bike trails

Good Morning, Jon Bernthal

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Really pretty annoyed that Jon let his hair grow back out - he'll never look as good as he did in that GQ photo-shoot with the shorter hair. Never! Not this way, anyway. Oh well. We'll always have GQ, I suppose. Have any of you watched all of The Punisher? I kind of gave up after an episode or two. Should I give it another try? Or should I just wait for Charlie Cox's Daredevil to make me care about Marvel TV again? Anyway you can read Bernthal's interview with Esquire here, and see the rest of the pictures after the jump...

Good Morning, World

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Fun Fact: Did you know that Tom Payne, the actor who portrays The Walking Dead's "Gay Jesus," also played the naked twink that Frances McDormand finds in Amy Adams' bed in Miss Pettrigew Lives for a Day? I don't think you've really lived until you've been the naked twink that Frances McDormand has found in Amy Adams' bed, so major props to him for that. 

(I wonder if he and Lee Pace were... friendly... on that set?) Anyway it is Mr. Payne's 35th birthday today - I am guessing he's still alive on The Walking Dead because I haven't heard otherwise - I stopped watching the show this year but you always manage to hear what characters they've murdered whether you want to or not. You can see a couple more posts on him right here.

Good Morning, World

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So who's watched The Punisher? Anybody? I've gotten through two episodes, not terribly enthusiastically, but I keep watching because it's got a pretty stellar group of actors on it - Shohreh Aghdashloo! Ebon "Gratuitous" Moss-Bachrach! And Ben Barnes... 

... seen there giving me more reasons to keep watching. Y'all know I run hot + cold on Jon Bernthal - he was an abhorrent ham on The Walking Dead. But he's grown on me over the past year and yes, it's because of the haircut, don't judge. I think he's fine as Frank Castle. (And fine.) I'm just... not hooked yet. I keep hoping Charlie Cox will show up... but then, welcome to my life. Anyway I made more gifs of Ben and I stole a bunch of gifs of Jon  of Tumblr so hit the jump for those...