Taron Egerton Sling Time

Has Taron captured your attention? Good, that was my intention. Because I have a review for you to read! Click on over to Pajiba and you can read my thoughts on Apex, the Aussie wilderness thriller that stars Charlize Theron and Taron that just landed on Netflix today. It's good! I liked it! (Also Taron is naked in it! Even better!)

Mount Taron

Taron Egerton has been so generous with us these past couple of years y'all. (Remember his shimmy in a g-string on that fireman show of his last year? Phew.) That slammin' still above is from his thriller Apex that sees him (sexily) terrorizing Charlize Theron, and which hits Netflix next Friday -- I shared the trailer right here. Anyway that photo (which P.S. gets extremely big if you click on it) seemed a nice place to leave us off for the day (or to "[something] us off" anyway) -- yes as forewarned earlier this week this is yet another day of a very busy week where I've got screenings to attend to. Two of them today actually, including some time with that Taron. The other one... well click here if you want to know the other movie I'm seeing today is. Just know that I usually can't manage afternoon screenings given my day-job but I'm so excited about this one that I'm taking time off for it. Anyway giddy show-offery aside I'll be back in full tomorrow, so you and Taron just stay here and wait for me then. I'm sure y'll can find something to do. Bye!

Taron Egerton Seven More Times

Impatience's nipped my bottom once again -- I guess I should've waited to see if ICON Magazine was going to drop any more photos of their newest freshest latest Taron Egerton photoshoot yesterday, but ten seemed like a lot -- I thought I was safe. That's what I get for thinking! See if I ever do that again. Today they've gifted us with seven more fine looks at Hot Bald Taron and I can't help but share. Also I just got back from a morning screening and don't have my wherewithal about me yet so this buys me some time. Hit the jump for the photos...

Taron Egerton Ten Times

Although I agree with the commenter on my post sharing the trailer for the upcoming Netflix thriller Apex that Charlize Theron should be doing better things than the steady stream of Netflix action movies she's been stuck in for the past several years, I nevertheless find myself excited about Apex -- I just think Charlize Theron fighting a bald deranged Taron Egerton sounds like a hoot, I do. More thrillers like this and fewer like the astonishingly terrible Old Guard sequel -- if she wants to pick yp the mantle from Liam Neeson I wouldn't be angry. Tight little two-handers, full of punching and chasing...

... that sounds fun to me. Anyway Apex is out on Netflix on April 24th and in turn Taron is on the cover of ICON Magazine this month (via)  showing off his shaved head from the movie and -- hot. We are hot for the bald on him. He can keep this look, if he wants to. I won't argue. Hit the jump for the rest...

Can You Survive Sexy Taron Egerton?

2026 is, if nothing else good, at least looking like those of us who like looking at Taron Egerton will be fed well -- I already told you about his aptly-titled comedy Everybody Wants To F*ck Me, but I missed the news of the action-thriller called Apex he's in and seen pictured above giving us something to sink our eyes into (via thx). It's a survival thriller that sees him playing the antgonist to Charlize Theron -- it's from Baltasar Kormákur, the Icelandic director of Everest, forever known as the movie that stupidly cut Jake Gyllenhaal's nude scene. Maybe he'll make it up to us this time?

I'm always keeping those fires burning, I am! Anyway this ism out on Netflix on April 24th -- I hope it's good, I hope it's entertaining, I thinkm we all could use a good entertaining action-thriller starring Charlize and Taron right about now. Right? That sounds good. Oh and Eric Bana is in it too, I guess! I just re-watched Hanna last week and man that awesome movie made me miss Eric Bana. (Remember those wet long-johns? JFC.) Let's hope he's more than just the inciting incident of the Charlize's guy who gets killed to prove what a threat Taron is before Charlize kicks his butt. Anyway here's a trailer:

Everybody Wants to F*ck Taron Egerton

If ever there was a movie that Taron Egerton was meant to star in it's a movie titled Everybody Wants to F*ck Me, and here we are -- that's the first image of him in the now-filming film from newcomer director Jonathan Schey, who is at this point mainly known for directing a series called Ladhood in the UK which I heard about but never saw any of. Anybody seen it? Anyway EWTFM is described as a "razor-sharp wild and original dark comedy thriller" (via) but other than that -- and the fact that it co-stars Jessica Henwick as well as Worst Person in the World's surprisingly sexy Herbert Nordrum -- there's not much info out there that I can find. If I were to make a wild guess I'd land on that episode of Buffy where Xander gets love-potioned and it becomes a hyper-horned-up melee, but that's a shot in the horny dark honestly. I'm a little annoyed that we're only seeing ladies check him out in the full photo -- somebody photoshop me in there doing that famous head-turn meme because that's the true truth.

Where There's Smoke There's Taron

There's a series hitting Apple at the end of June called Smoke that stars Taron Egerton as a former fireman turned arson investigator who's on the trail of a (cue The Prodigy song playing in your head) fire-stahtah -- you can watch the trailer here. It looks very Backdraft to me -- hopefully we get Taron in a shower scene like Billy Baldwin's legendary one in that movie then. (It is from the same folks who made Black Bird and that movie wasn't shy about showing off Taron so fingers crossed!) The series is premiering at Tribeca in a couple of weeks so maybe I'll see some of it there and have something to say. The most important thing (aside from the shower scene possibility obviously) is that Thom Yorke of my favorite band Radiohead has just dropped a new song that's for the show's soundtrack! Here it is:

Not a Bad View

Kingsman pals Edward Holcroft & Taron Egerton say hi. (via)

Picturing the Cock We Coulda Had

Because I squandered my early screeners for Fellow Travelers I have nothing to say on that Matt Bomer / Jonathan Bailey series that's hitting Paramount+ today (and Showtime on Sunday) -- but I can gift us some Gay Jonny B. anyway since earlier this week I stumbled (via) upon these new-old photos from the Cock that never was! If you recall JB was set to star in the play Cock with Taron Egerton last year but Taron had some sort of freak-out and bailed on Bailey -- I guess these photos were promotional images from the time. before the freakout that, as far as I can tell, never saw the light of day. Until now! Hit the jump for a few more...

Play With Me

I have been lousy about linking from here to all of the lists I've been rounding up at Mashable over the past few weeks, so a reminder: you can see all of my Mashable pieces if you click on this link. The above gif of Daniel Craig in Tomb Raider is a reference to my most recent one, where I told all the people of the world "The 10 Greatest Movies Based On Games," see that one right here. It's been a stellar couple of years for people finally figuring out what to do with video-game adaptations in particular -- we'll see if that carries over to the Super Mario movie, which I am seeing tonight! (I have my doubts, and they are shaped like Chris Pratt!) Here's that movie's trailer if you haven't seen it yet:

Taron Egerton Twelve Times

I am hearing good things about Taron's Tetris movie, which is a little bit of a surprise -- sounded goofy at first but I guess we should've known it would be something special when he debuted that mustache he has in it right off the bat. And then this photo here of a gorgeous coat he wears at one point. That's all it takes! Hot coats and staches and I'm sold! Anyway in between all that...

Also love that this is the top comment on Aaron's Instagram post: pic.twitter.com/BFHh5WTfoN

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) March 15, 2023

... and leaving leering comments on photos of Aaron Taylor-Johnson's abs I guess Taron found time to pose and strut his hot ass for ICON magazine, which was kind of him and which we appreciate. A true Thursday treat! Hit the jump for it...

I'll Sign For Taron Egerton's Suspicious Package

While you might think it's the Taron Egerton angle of this news that's got me posting this news but, beside getting to use the above photo for it of course, what actually pushed me over the edge was the director -- Orphan and The Shallows director Jaume Collet-Serra is going to direct a movie called Carry On that will star Taron as a TSA agent who gets blackmailed by a mysterious passenger (Jason Bateman) to allow a suspicious package onto a crowded Christmas Day flight. If your brain is hitting all the Die Hard 2 alarms -- Christmas-time and an airplane thriller! -- then I say welcome because that's where I'm at as well.

Collet-Serra loves thrillers about commuters, having already directed the Liam Neeson thrillers Non-Stop and yes, The Commuter. And I suppose you could say Jungle Cruise counts too! Anyway the man directed Orphan and The Shallows -- not to mention all of those movies I just mentioned being way better than they have any right to be -- so he's got a lifetime pass. And I love that he gets to keep making these mid-level old-school thrillers too. The cinema is better for it!

Good Morning, World

I still haven't started watching Black Bird yet! Shame on me! But just because I suck doesn't mean y'all should suffer so here is this gif of Taron Egerton from one of the later episodes of the show. Later than that first gratuitous batch I posted when the show began, I mean. I will get to it soon enough -- I have heard good things! Are you watching it? Would you say there are "good things" or what?

Taron Plays With Packages

I hadn't intended on posting this Taron Egerton photoshoot for Flaunt magazine that's been around for a solid week now because it's all so dour and unsexy, I just didn't feel like encouraging such behavior. We have seen what you look like unclothed at this moment in time, Taron -- this is your moment to do the slutty photoshoots, dude. Anyway I'm breaking my own ban because casting news has broken involving Taron that I actually want to post -- he's signed on to star in the new thriller from Jaume Collet-Serra, director of Orphan and The Shallows and other such goofy thrillers that have had no business being as thrilling as they ended up being but did so via the power of JCS's impressive talent. 

The movie is called Carry On and it will star Taron as a TSA agent "who gets blackmailed by a mysterious traveler to let a dangerous package slip through security and onto a Christmas Day flight." And yes this returns the director to the transportation playgrounds he seems to so adore, given his Liam Neeson duology of The Commuter and Non-Stop. (As a sidenote looking at JCS's IMDb page just now I had no idea he directed Black Adam, the forthcoming DC superhero movie with The Rock and Noah Centineo and Aldis Hodge -- suddenly I find myself wondering if Black Adam might actually be good?) Anyway this movie sounds like it might be something to look forward to, huzzah. Now hit the jump for the remainder of this fairly boring photoshoot if you dare...

Good Morning, World

The internet has had three full days to make hay over Taron Egerton's nude scene -- yeah the word "nude" will never not be funny to me -- in his new series Black Bird, which premiered on Apple+ on Friday. So I feel a bit behind now! But seeing as how I had an entire Twitter thread devoted to Taron that began because of shots of him looking jacked on the show's set -- so far back we though it was a movie and it was called In With the Devil, see that here -- I'm not exactly going to drop the football this far from the finish line. Ooh I made a sports analogy! I'm the butchest. 

Just like Taron now, I guess! So butch, so manly. What a great way to start off my birthday week, officially! Anyway everybody else might've posted a few gifs, one or two good ones have specifically made the rounds, but I got the whole damn lot, I do. Go to the imitations for brevity -- come to me for true gratuity. Hit the jump for a few dozen more...

Taron Egerton Flips the Bird

There is a photo of Taron Egerton (via) summing up "Today's Mood" quite succinctly -- it's from the set of Black Bird, his Apple+ series that's coming out next month that sees him playing a prisoner who makes a deal with the FBI to befriend a serial killer (played by Paul Walter Hauser) in order to get information. (Sidenote: I started a very substantial Twitter thread of photos of Taron when we started seeing photos from this set, which is well worth a scroll if you missed it.) Anyway Black Bird debuts on July 8th and...

... today they have dropped the first trailer, which includes promising moments like the moment giffed above -- we should all set our schedules accordingly, I guess. Here's said trailer:

I imagine Taron is going to have to do press for this soon -- I'm very curious to see if he addresses that big Cock debacle in the UK where he bailed on the play he was doing with Jonathan Bailey; he hasn't said anything about any of that yet, save some boilerplate press release thing that was so vague it could've meant anything. Tell us why you ran away from Cock, Taron! 

Look It's Taron Egerton & Jonathan Bailey's Cock

It took them far too long to release official photos of Jonathan Bailey and Taron Egerton on stage in their running-right-now play COCK on London's West End, but we finally have a couple today that do not disappoint. I mean I guess they disappoint if you were actually expecting to see cock in the show called Cock, but since I knew no cock was involved I did not a cock expect. How many times can I say "cock" in one small post anyway? Cock, cock, cock! Cock-a-doodle-do, baby! If you'd like to read a review of Cock, cock, excuse me click here. Sounds good! I've heard that Bailey is very good on stage. Unfortunately this is one Cock I probably won't be seeing, but it's alright -- I have seen a lot of cock in my day. Some might say too much cock, but those people? Total cocks.

Good Morning, World

Thanks to the ten people who sent this to me overnight!

(via) Also there is this (Taron going all out):

Pic of the Day

Nestled in between about forty Instagram story videos of Taron Egerton cooking some or other food stuffs the actor sneaked in this thirst-trap gym-selfie today, as if we wouldn't find it! Sneaky, sneaky, Taron, but I have eyes everywhere. PS if you want more, as I am sure you want, click here for my epic Taron thirst thread on Twitter. This has been a bad year in many ways but for sure not this precise one! 

This Project's One Hot Potato!

Well here is some interesting and unexpected news -- French director (one might even say "iconoclast") Claire Denis has lined up her next film called The Stars At Noon and it will star that fellow there above (aka Taylor Swift's man, aka Joe Alwyn) alongside Margaret Qualley (aka Andie Macdowell's popular spawn). This news is via Deadline. The studio behind this is A24, who Denis worked with on her last picture, the very fine High Life with Robert Pattinson and Juliette Binoche. Speaking of Denis actually already has another movie in the can, that one called Fire, a love triangle story that stars Binoche, Vincent Lindon (very hot right now thanks to his stellar work in Titane), and Beau Travail star Grégoire Colin...

... whose nips were recently immortalized on that film's Criterion cover. Not a terrible claim to fame, that! (Do you think he's annoyed they blotted out his face though? I bet he is.) Anyway back to Denis' next next film with Joe Alwyn & Margaret Qualley, aka why we're here (I do get so distracted whenever half-naked soldiers come up)  -- Deadline says that Alwyn is replacing Taron Egerton, who left for "personal reasons" (ooh intriguing), and that this was also meant to originally Denis' BFF star Robert Pattinson, who had to drop out because of Batman delays. (I posted about this previously.) Cursed picture, this one already! Here's how the plot's described:

"Based on the novel by Denis Johnson, the story is set in 1984 during the Nicaraguan Revolution and follows a mysterious English businessman and headstrong American journalist who strike up a passionate romance. They soon become embroiled in a dangerous labyrinth of lies and conspiracies and are forced to try and escape the country, with only each other to trust and rely on."

Anybody read the book? It's sounding very Year of Living Dangerously to me, or for that matter Denis' own film White Material, which was also about sexy people (in that case Isabelle Huppert, Nicolas Duvauchelle, and Isaach De Bankolé) getting caught up in wars that they're sort of outsiders to. I did not like White Material though, so let's hope this is more of the Denis from her last couple of pictures, since I've finally come around to her. Anyway since we're talking Joe I got some new pictures of Joe! Hit the jump for them...