Michael Fassbender Ball Play

A brand new clip from Taika Waititi's long long long delayed soccer comedy Next Goal Wins has arrived today, because believe it or not this movie is actually really probably maybe coming out! They are saying November 17th. Here is the trailer for the movie, which we shared back in April -- if your memory has turned to dust in the time it's taken for this movie to get anywhere near release it stars Michael Fassbender in a feel-good true-story about a disgraced soccer coach who heads to American Samoa to teach a ragtag bunch of losers how to be, you guessed it, winners. I don't think I have ever seen a movie with this storyline before? So novel! Watch the clip:

Fassy Loves to Kick, Stretch, and Kick

So many gay trailers today! Pedro Almodovar's gay cowboy movie, João Pedro Rodrigues' gay fireman movie, and now the trailer for Michael Fassbender's gay soccer movie from director Taika Waititi. Okay okay Next Goal Wins isn't technically gay, but it's gay in spirit because it's about Michael Fassbender and lots of short-shorts and balls. After years of shuffling release dates (partially due to Armie Hammer's scenes having to be re-shot with Will Arnett after, well, you know) this is supposedly coming out on November 17th -- we will see. Here's the trailer:

Take Hope, Fassbender Lovers

While it feels as if Michael Fassbender's "comeback" is taking torturously long to arrive with David Fincher's The Killer not being released until November and Taika Waititi's soccer-comedy Next Goal Wins constantly getting kicked away from us (right now it's scheduled for September) at least there are several projects lined up, ones we'll presumably see at some point. A couple of years ago we didn't even have that. And today comes word of another, and it wasn't until I realized who the director was that I took note -- Deadline is reporting that South Korean director Na Hong-Jin will be following up his 2016 movie The Wailing with a movie called Hope and it will star both Fassy and his bride slash babymomma Alicia Vikander. I had some tonal issues with The Wailing but it's a really interesting movie and I can't believe that Hong-Jin hasn't made anything since then, so that in itself is something. They're also reporting this movie will be in South Korean mainly but that M&A's roles will be in English, so I have no idea what to expect. Here's how they describe the plot:

"The largely Korean-language film will follow the residents of Hopo Port, where a mysterious discovery is made on the outskirts of the remote harbor town. Before long, the residents find themselves in a desperate fight for survival against something they have never encountered before."

Pics of the Day

EW has some official photos of Michael Fassbender in Taika Waititi's long-long-long delayed soccer film Next Goal Wins (thx Mac), as well as a brief chat with Taika on the movie, which hits theaters in April. The long delay happened because of the one-two punch of the pandemic and the whole Armie Hammer thing -- Armie had filmed his role in the film (remember that time him and Michael Fassbender and Taika all hung out at a gay bar while shooting?) but then all... that... happened, and so they re-shot his role with Will Arnett in it. None of this is mentioned at EW, but I'll bring it up if they're not willing! There are a couple more photos at that link though, so check them out if you're so inclined. Where you really wanna click is right here though, for the shirtless shots of Michael on set.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... getting hammered with Daniel Craig.

With... by... same diff. Point being Daniel Craig is starring in a new advertisement for Belvedere Vodka and it was directed by Taika Waititi and it's some Christopher Walken level dance-time foolishness and it's here to make us all smile a little bit today, so that's nice!

(via, thx Mac) I'm surprised by how much I'm looking forward to Glass Onion at this point -- seeing it next week! Don't get me wrong I enjoyed Knives Out, but not enough to exactly be clamoring for a sequel. Especially one starring a bunch of actors I'm pretty indifferent to -- Kate Hudson? Edward Norton? No thank you. And yet here we are. Perhaps it was the word that Craig's character supposedly has a man-friend this time around. Yes I am that easy.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... a true measure(r) of Chris Hemsworth's manhood.

That gif comes via one of the special features on the forthcoming Thor: Love and Thunder blu-ray, in case you need the video of that in your collection immediately. Even though I did not like that movie at all I don't see anything wrong with buying that! We are all collectors and Chris' bits are in need of a good collecting.

My Ath Ith Thor

So whomst amongst you caught Thor Love and Thunder over the weekend? I saw a press screening before the holiday weekend and was inspired to say basically nothing about it when the time came -- I think my pal Kristy summed it all up pretty well in her review at Mashable, and the one by TK at Pajiba as well. It's got its charms but those charms are kind of smothered by an aimlessness and an absence of stakes. Bale was great but the writing really let him down, and it felt much more indifferently filmed than Ragnarok did to me. 

Well here is the best advertisement that exists for #ThorLoveAndThunder pic.twitter.com/gWKo47S0T6

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 7, 2022

I have no intentions of piling on Taika (which seems to be having a moment) but I will admit that between this and that pirate show of his, which I could barely finish an episode of, we might be slightly on the outs. Fingers crossed his long long long delayed soccer movie with Michael Fassbender rights the ship! I'd love to hear y'all's opinions on Thor though. Also answer me this if you can:

Now that #Thor is out can somebody tell me (this is maybe a spoiler but it's more of a question) - who is it we see giving Gorr the sword? I feel like I missed something - there's a flash of some figure telling him what to do in that moment, isn't there? Is this a future Big Bad? pic.twitter.com/NO75OcNUdE

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 11, 2022

Quote of the Day

"We all knew we wanted to do it from very early on. That was in the first draft of the script actually and Chris was on board as well. You know, I think you have a body like Chris, like, you know, even he understands. It would be just, it would be a waste to not show it off. It would be a crime against humanity. So, you know, it's, you have to provide for the masses."

-- That's Thor: Love and Thunder director and professional gay-baiter Taika Waititi talking to ComicBook.com about the scene glimpsed in the film's most recent trailer where Chris Hemsworth's outfit gets finger-snapped off by the god Zeus (Russell Crowe) -- if you missed the gifs I made click on yonder. The trailer blurs our Thor's thunder buns but I have no doubt we'll see them in the finished product -- the movie got rated PG-13 last week for "partial nudity" which seems to seal the deal that this won't remain a trailer-only tease. Will this be the most nudity in a Marvel movie then? I recall some implied nudity with Mark Ruffalo in one of the Avengers movies? Am I forgetting anything?

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be... 

... flicking off Thor's disguise.

And yes like Zeus I too would flick too hard.

The new Thor: Love and Thunder trailer popped up last night and I assume any of you who wanted to watch it have gone and watched it already -- I do hate it when they drop things at night! I am not an all-nights-and-weekends kinda blogger, man! I need my me-time, by which I mean my "floor watching X-Files" time. All blogging and no Scully makes Jason a dull, dull boy. Anyway here's the trailer if you also try to have some semblance of life in this 24-7 media-saturated hellscape:

Besides Chris Hemsworth's blurred out little booty the big reveal in this trailer is the movie's villain played by Christian Bale, who appears to be summoning up some "Pale Man" from Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth if you ask me...

... that was my first thought when watching it last night anyway -- looking at it now I see some of the Crawlers from The Descent and I guess maybe Hades from Disney's Hercules movie (although there I have to admit I have still never seen that Hercules). Anyway he's making for a pasty scrawny flip-side to Thor's Golden God, so visually this is all working for me. We will see on July 8th!

Thor the Four

There is the first poster for Thor: Love and Thunder, the... third Thor movie? The fourth? It's the fourth isn't it? Oh who the hell cares. I liked the last Taika one and I will probably like this one, it will surely be colorful and over-the-top and ridiculous, as a Thor movie should be and as that poster is most definitely selling. All of this leans into Chris Hemsworth's strong suits, which for some reason I went into an Ambien-fueled rant about on Twitter last night -- I don't know. I really need to lock my phone after I take my pill. I mean looking back at it now I agree with everything I said, but don't really see the need to have been so passionate about it. Drugs are weird, kids. In summation -- Thor 4, out in July! And here is the first teaser trailer:

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Leave No Trace (2018)

Tom: What if the kids at school think I'm strange 

cuz of the way we were living?

Will: How important are their judgments?

A very happy 21st birthday to Thomasin McKenzie today! This Debra Granik movie definitely marks the moment I fell for her -- I imagine it's the moment most of us fell for her, if you saw it -- but it's kind of nuts to look at how many projects of note that she's stacked up in the past three years since this brought her to our attention. Why she was in M. Night Shyamalan's film Old just this weekend (read my review here) and she was very good in it in a difficult part; before that there were small roles in The King and True History of the Kelly Gang and of course the biggie, Jojo Rabbit.  

What's your favorite from her so far? The next year holds some good or at least exciting stuff -- she's in Jane Campion's new film The Power of the Dog, and I've already seen The Justice of Bunny King thanks to Tribeca (and I reviewed it too, right here) and she is wonderful in that, but it's Edgar Wright's giallo-riff Last Night in Soho with her playing opposite Anya Taylor-Joy that I'm obviously the most looking forward to; the trailer can be viewed right here. That's out on October 22nd! The happiest of happy birthdays to her and please keep the hits coming, Thomasin!

Good Morning, World

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A happy 43 to Michael Fassbender today! Not sure what effect our "current situation" will have on his return to acting this year, if any -- it seems that both his action-comedy Kung Fury 2 and his soccer flick with Taika Waititi called Next Goal Wins (mmm) were both finished with filming before the world locked down, so maybe some nice editor is out there right now getting these things ready for us when we live. (ETA ha that is totally a typo -- I meant to write "when we leave"... but I'm totally leaving it in because, yeah.) Although I imagine there will be a pile-up of content once all of the gears (hopefully) get to grinding again. So yeah, as with everything, we will have to wait and see. We're getting good at that. Anyway -- hey! Remember Shame? I bet you do.

Quote of the Day

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I keep forgetting that my honey pie Elisabeth Moss is in Taika Waititi's forthcoming soccer comedy Next Goal Wins with my other honey pie Michael Fassbender, but she is, and during a chat about this week's Moss vehicle The Invisible Man the subject came up and she had this to say about her upcoming co-star:

"First of all, the man is so good at improv and I had no idea! I think of him as a very serious actor, but that man is hilarious. I was shocked, honestly, and I think people are gonna be really bowled over by him, because he is really funny and his ability to improv is absolutely remarkable. I've always been impressed by him as a dramatic actor, and I saw this whole new side which was really cool."

Along with that comic karate flick Kung Fury 2 that he's doing it seems that Fassy took a break in order to refocus his career on not being the Shame guy, peeing on screen while crying with a bloody nose or whatever, which is probably good for him, mentally-speaking. We like that. I mean he can still pee on screen as far as I'm concerned, but maybe he can smile while he does it now? Everybody wins. (See some photos of Fassy on the set of Next Goal Wins here and especially here.)
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Who Wore It Best?

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survey software

I was just going to share the news that Mark Ruffalo might be starring in the proposed TV version of the Oscar winner Parasite (that project is so weird) but then I realized that photos of Mark at the Oscars this weekend were giving me strong "Oscar Isaac at the Oscars this weekend" vibes and lo, a poll was born. A special shout-out to Taika Waititi, who would've had this poll being a most blessed three-way if he hadn't gone and shaved his beard off and ruined everything...

Pics of the Day

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I guess Alexander Skarsgard was technically at the SAGs last night to be amongst his Big Little Lies friends, even though he was barely in season two, but who cares as it gave us Alex -- sporting his beard for his forthcoming Viking movie with The Lighthouse director Robert Eggers!!! -- projecting his sex all over two of our favorite current fellas, Taron Egerton at top and Taika Waititi, you know, on bottom. See one more on Twitter. I wish I could say Alex was there because On Being a God in Central Florida had swept the awards but nobody seems to properly understand how awesome that show is...

Kayvan & Co

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FX has announced their premiere dates for the new seasons of two of my most favorite television shows -- the vampire comedy What We Do in the Shadows (starring our boy Kayvan Novak seen above) is returning for its second season on Wednesday April 15th, while the fourth season of Noah Hawley's Fargo drops its first episode four days later that Sunday, April 19th. For lots and I mean lots more of Kayvan click here -- checking his IMDb page why the hell hasn't he gotten any big roles in anything yet? I demand more Kayvan, world! And to read more about the next season of Fargo click here -- BEN WHISHAW, THE END. But while we're on the subject of FX...
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... that there is the first full trailer for Devs, FX's new eight episode limited series from Annihilation and Ex Machina director Alex Garland, which they say premieres on March 5th. Obviously this seems to be nodding towards the futuristic technological concerns of both of those films, as well as their smashingly golden and gorgeous visuals, but they had me on board the minute that cast was announced. And by "that cast" clearly I mean "Karl Glusman."

Well I Guess That's It For This Week

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Turns out I am very much not feeling it today, which has been a little too dominant a mood as of late but whatcha gonna -- the world's on fire and my shit feels singed. Would've loved to get a review of something anything now out in theaters -- I did not like Uncut Gems! I did like A Hidden Life! I have not seen Black Christmas! -- but all I've been managing to manage is to stare with terror at basically everything I have come into contact with, while feeling anxious and nauseous and luxuriously angry. Never has the basic-ism "TGIF" felt more apt. Let's everybody try and find some kind of comfort this weekend -- be less like the Taika above and more like the Taika below:
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Sir Hammer & Friends

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I only just now realized I've been tweeting about this news but not mentioning it here, and this is obviously the sort of thing that deserves attention -- earlier this week Armie Hammer was spotted hanging out at a gay bar in Hawaii with Michael Fassbender and Taika Waititi (and also Michael's wife the actress Alicia Vikander, sigh, I suppose I have to mention her). Fassy & Taika are there  on the island shooting their soccer movie Next Goal Wins, which I have been covering a'plenty. Unfortunately nobody seems to have taken any photos of this happening -- HOW -- but Armie did Insta his presence in Hawaii this afternoon, so it seems like this did indeed happen. ETA oh wait I couldn't even finish typing this post before somebody shared a photo of Armie with Taika!

But that's not the end of it! In Armie's Insta he mentions he's shooting something there in Hawaii and I couldn't figure out what it might be (something non-Nile-based for Death on the Nile?) but the rumor-mill's stating it looks like he might have a small role in Taika's film itself! Armie & Fassy sharing the screen? Will my heart actually literally explode? Stay tuned!

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First look at Michael Fassbender in Taika Waititi’s soccer comedy NEXT GOAL WINS... which he *just* started shooting pic.twitter.com/sdxlzNkEV5

— Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) December 4, 2019

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In other Armie news did anybody watch his adventure with Bear Grylls last night? I swear to god that I lost all sense of time during the scene where he tried to crawl through a little cave opening while wearing a wetsuit and the camera just stared at his ass for... seconds? Minutes? Hours? I might actually still be there inside that cave watching that happen right now and everything since has only been a hallucination.

Fly Fassy Fly

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Our favorite sexual string-bean Michael Fassbender was photographed flashing some flesh on the set of Taika Waititi's Next Goal Wins this past weekend (via) -- this is the one that has him playing soccer coach to a ragtag group of Samoan sporties; we shared some shots of him getting hopped on and over by some of those same on the set early in November. Guess it's still shooting! Hit the jump for eight more shots...

Jake McDorman Six Times

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I've known who Jake McDorman is for awhile because 1) a friend of mine has had a longtime crush, and 2) he's worked a lot in the past fifteen years, on shows like Greek and the Murphy Brown reboot and Shameless. But I've never posted about him -- it wasn't until recently when he showed up as the doofy reincarnation of one of the vampire's eternal loves on What We Do in the Shadows that I really personally took notice. (Y'all watch WWDITS right? So so funny.)

Anyway now thanks to last night's epic and incendiary season-best (so far) episode of HBO's Watchmen, in which he turns up as [I won't say yet since it's been less than 24 hours since it aired and I don't want to spoil it], well... I'm noticing him for sure now. I'll have more on him on Watchmen tomorrow morning (so yes consider this a warning; you've got until tomorrow morning and then I'm spoiling his appearance there, at least a little) but for right this second after the jump I've got a pleasant little photoshoot of him so's we can prepare ourselves...