Mason Gooding Wants Your Sex

Another batch of names have been added to the cast of Gregg Araki's upcoming movie I Want Your Sex, and one of them is Scream hunk and MNPP fave Mason Gooding! Yes I cannot wait for Araki's lens to frame this slab of man -- Gregg will know how to do it. This is the movie that stars Olivia Wilde and Cooper Hoffman as a May-December pairing whose entire calendar goes outta whack due to the power of their passion. I just came up with that plot description myself, I really should work in PR. Here is the way Deadline puts it:

"A provocative film blithely exploring desire, domination, and fantasy, I Want Your Sex asks, how far is too far? When fresh-faced Elliot (Hoffman) lands an exciting job for renowned artist, icon and provocateur Erika Tracy (Wilde), his fantasies come true as Erika taps him to become her sexual muse. But Elliot soon finds himself out of his depth as Erika takes him on a journey more profound than he ever could have imagined, into a world of sex, obsession, power, betrayal and murder."

Also joining the cast are Johnny Knoxville, Daveed Diggs, Charlie XCX, Margaret Cho, and Chase Sui Wonders from Bodies Bodies Bodies, which is such an Araki-esque movie I'm just now realizing? Ooh why isn't Gregg working with Rachel Sennott??? My brain just exploded. They would be amazing together. Get to work on the next one right now, Gregg! Mason can come too!

Good Morning, World

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A happy 46 to Alessandro Nivola, one of our favorite actors working today and who is having a very fine 2018 - among three great performances he was still my best in show in Disobedience (read my review right here), a movie that could've easily glided past his character's inner workings but which Nivola brought vividly to life. Then his part's small but vital, with its elements of surprise, in Lynne Ramsey's You Were Never Really Here, a movie a lot of critics are calling the best of the year so far. And on the producing side his movie To Dust was a big success at Tribeca - here's my review from there, where I adored the film. I will of course let you know about that film's release date when it gets one. (Fingers crossed that it's before the end of the year - I wanna see it again!)

Anyway these stills you see here are from Junebug, the 2005 movie that brought us both Amy Adams and the confirmation (along with Laurel Canyon) that Alessandro has got the world's best bum. I have looked everywhere, top to bottom, so I know - it's the best. Coming up next for Nivola (and his perfect bum) - there's Red Sea Diving Resort which has him opposite Chris Evans and Michiel Huisman and I have fainted, I have absolutely fainted. Okay, dusting myself off - also he's got a movie called Weightless, which has him reuniting with a teenage son he never knew and which co-stars Johnny Knoxville of all people? Here are two pictures of Nivola from the film:

I Am Team Tightpants

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We are all Team Tightpants. Today we are, at least. Over the weekend the most recent Team Experience Poll revealed itself at The Film Experience - this time around we're talking the best movies that were adapted from television shows, and sure enough we found space for Joss' favorite space-crew. Indeed that little write-up was scraped off the tongue of yours truly, so head on over to hear me wax poetical upon it. Would you like to know my whole list? (That question was rhetorical; I am totally giving you my whole list now.)

9. The Naked Gun

8. The Brady Bunch Movie

7. Jackass

6. In the Loop

5. The Fugitive

4. Serenity

3. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut

2. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

1. The Muppet Movie

My list only has nine because one of my picks - Addams Family Values - got tossed because of blah blah reasons. I should add that I hadn't seen Pennies From Heaven when it placed on the final list, so I went and watched it last night and I LOVED it; it would totally make my list now. Also yes, I stand by that placement of Jackass. Dadaism via genital mutilation, that.

The Eduardo & Rodrigo Movie

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If I told you there was a movie starring Eduardo Noriega and Rodrigo Santoro, plus Zach Gilford, Peter Stormare, Luis Guzman, Daniel Henney, Forest Whitaker, and Harry Dean Stanton, and it was directed by the dude who made I Saw the Devil, and it is coming out this weekend... you'd be excited, right? Well there is that movie coming out this weekend, only they went and put Arnold Schwarzenegger and Johnny Knoxville on the poster, so not really anybody's excited. Bah. I still plan on seeing The Last Stand, and I plan on seeing the Del Toro produced horror flick Mama as well. So maybe I'll actually review some movies next week instead of just silently watching Breaking Bad? We'll see. So yeah anyway go read my piece on this weekend's movies at Celebrity Beehive! Go! Now! Or Nikolaj Coster-Waldau gets it!

This Should Have Been The Real Poster

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(pic via) Have I mentioned how much the internet means to me lately? I was just thinking about it last night when I was flipping through the channels and saw some hot basketball player whose name, only 18 hours later, already eludes me, and so there he was, Hot Basketball Player, and before the internet I would have had to use my imagination to picture him without his clothes, but because of the internet I was able to google his name, yes already forgotten, plus the word "shirtless," and lo and behold there it was. Shirtless Nameless Hot Basketball Player. Win! So the internet gave me that, and the internet gave me the above image - A plus B equals C, where C stands for "cool beans, yo." 

My point is, hey the new James Bond movie is out. Have you seen it yet? It's been out in other countries for weeks. I will see it at some point in the next two days. Also out is Steven Spielberg's Lincoln, which I saw back at the New York Film Festival and did not so much admire. (But what do I know, everybody else seems to be lapping it up.) All of this and more, much more, my-opinion-wise, is spelled out over at Celebrity Beehive. Check it.

Pics of the Day

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That picture of Brad Pitt and Dead Brad Pitt from behind-the-scenes of The Assassination of Jesse James is cracking me up. I would so have that thing in my home if I were him. Can you imagine the practical jokes you could play with a fake corpse of yourself? Angie's coming downstairs in the middle of the night to warm a bottle for the twins and there's Dead Brad sprawled across the linoleum, a bottle of pills spilled beside it, some shaving cream foaming from its mouth. Hilarity ensues! (I bet you ten to one she'd have the body tied down with rocks and tossed into the nearest river by her child army within an hour.)

Anyway I'm not even sure how I stumbled upon this but Christien Tinsley is an Oscar-winning make-up artist (he won for Passion of the Christ, so think "multiple lacerations") and on his website he's got a terrific gallery of his work, like Dead Brad Pitt up top. Beware there's some gory stuff at that link, but awesome as that is that's not what we're actually talking about this for. What we're excited about is the gallery of custom tattooing he's done for movies, specifically of the "on hot males" variety. Case in exquisite point:

Just the fact that there's a shot of Justin Theroux circa Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle that I haven't seen before (and a really large copy at that, click it to embiggen) is enough heaven, but there's so much more. If you hit the jump I've collected my favorite shots, including Jason Behr, Eric Balfour, Ben Foster, Vin Diesel, Johnny Knoxville, and Justin Timberlake.

I Am Link

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--- A Hostel Environment - I was hoping I could avoid having to mention it when I saw it last week and it blew my mind with its awfulness, but now everybody's posting it and making fun of it so my silence is ringing in my own ears. I'd hoped I could just pretend it didn't exist and then sneak off and watch it without telling anybody! I speak of the trailer for the direct-to-DVD Hostel III, which Eli Roth had nothing to do with and which totally appears to be living up to its "direct-to-DVD" status. I have to watch it because it stars Thomas Kretschmann (and to a lesser extent Kip Pardue), but that doesn't mean y'all should torture yourselves (ha, torture) by bothering. I don't understand Thomas Kretschmann's career. He should have a better career.

--- Boys Club - Two more menfolk have joined that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie I keep rambling about, The Last Stand - Forest Whitaker, who against all odds I generally dislike, and Johnny Knoxville, who against all odds I continue to like. Seriously though, have any women been cast in this? Talk about a sausage-fest.

--- Scare Time - Super excited for the new series at The Film Experience on the intersection between horror movies and the Oscars that'll take us up through All Hallows at the end of the month! It started off last evening with Robert's take on the 1953 animated short The Tell-Tale Heart, which is really weird because I have has TTTH on my mind for a good week now completely out of the blue. I realized I haven't read the story since I was a kid and I really want to. Anyway you'll see more, from me even, over at TFE over the next couple weeks, so stay tuned!

--- More Than Meets The Eye - The rumor that Jason Statham might be taking over the Transformers franchise from Shia Labeouf for both a fourth and fifth entry seems to be gathering steam. Unfortunately they appear to want Michael Bay to stick around though, so expect inevitable suckitude anyway. I think seeing Jason Statham punch a robot in the dick might be worth it though.

--- Fishy Dish - The other day I noticed that Piranha 3DD (yup, that title's still cracking me up) was set to come out at Thanksgiving, which seemed nuts since from what I've seen we haven't seen anything press-wise from the film yet. So it doesn't surprise me to hear that the studio's yanked that date from the schedule and are now saying it'll be out sometime next year. It saddens me, I want my 3DD, but it doesn't surprise me.

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Happy 40, Johnny Knoxville

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The Power Of Clint Compels You

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Clint Eastwood is probably gonna die soon, so he's gone and made a movie about his terrible mean old crotchety ghost haunting a couple with a newborn baby. Matt Damon shows up and is all like, "Hey I have some sconces just like those," and then Ron Howard's lousy daughter takes a crap on the floor, the end. It will win a thousand Oscars, and then Clint Eastwood will melt them down and have them rebuilt into a giant golden Oscar-shaped rocket, which he will have his corpse placed into and then shot directly into the Sun.

In related news, my piece for Celebrity Beehive is up.
Read what I have to say about this weekend's movies there.
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Quote of the Day

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I didn't get around to seeing Jackass 3D over the weekend - did you? - and I don't know when I will get around to it, but the sucker made fifty million dollars! Good grief. I don't find that particularly horrific or anything - I've found the Jackass series terrifically amusing so far - but it is a number that boggles the mind a bit when you consider the only thing going into these movie's budgets are knee-pads, bungee cords, and hospital bills. Oh those hospital bills must be something.

Anyway according to Cinematical they unsurprisingly shot a whole lot of footage that didn't make the cut and because of this one's success are already talking about cramming it into a quickie sequel. And then Steve O said this, and touched my heart:

"How are you going to leave out the scene where a guy farts darts into another guy's face?... You know you're working with some high-quality material if you're leaving something like that out."

I think Tchaikovsky had the same problem with The Nutcracker. Speaking of, perhaps they'll call the next one Jackass 3D Part Two: Nutcrackin'.

PS Here's Bam making out with some guy here in New York the other night. (via) Not as sexy as I had hoped it would be. Not at all.

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Gratuitous Knoxville 2: The Gratuitouning

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I know what you're thinking - what did I step into a time machine? Johnny Knoxville? Is it 2006 and I didn't realize it? Eww President Bush, no! Okay so I haven't given Jackass much thought in ages but the third film is out this weekend - head over to Celebrity Beehive to read more on this weekend's releases - and Johnny Knoxville is making the rounds and being his charming self and I'm feeling it, what can I say. He's stirring up fun-time memories.


Especially with the reminders of just how queer the whole Jackass thing is. Supa gay! So when I posted about that yesterday I looked through MNPP's archive and realized I hadn't documented Johnny well enough, that even though he'd gotten a gratuitous post of this sort before there's still plenty more material lying around, and if I don't post it now with this here third Jackass movie well the way his career's gone lately I might not have many more opportunities. All that means this is an extremely large post. Johnny's worth it. Forthwith gratuity, ho! (Yes I'm calling you a ho.)

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