John Mayer's New Plaid Pants

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If those are a hello, John, well hello right back. Although you make me consider changing the name of the blog to My New Fluorescent Green Dick Sling, if you're gonna be so flamboyant yet literal with your hellos, cuz I liked that outfit better.
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I Am Link

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--- Blood Boy - io9 has got a collection of six clips from True Blood up, including one which involves Alexander Skarsgard strutting around in his silky red robe, seen there to the right. The show starts on Sunday so I'm not bothering to watch these clips, but anything that gives us a taste of Alex is welcomed, anytime and anywhere, yo.

How excited are we all? I'm dyin' here.

Oh and PopWrap has an interview with Tara, aka the actress and MNPP-love Rutina Wesley, up that's good stuff too. Poor Tara, forced to mourn a loser like Eggs. God I won't miss him. Outstanding abs included!

--- Riddle Him That - The rumor's already been denied by his people but apparently somebody's saying somewhere that Joseph Gordon Levitt's been joking about playing The Riddler in the third Batman movie, and I'm regurgitating this baseless claim because I like the sound of it. Happen!

--- Now A Warning - Nathaniel's got a great great piece up on one of my favorite 90s comedies, Death Becomes Her, in a new entry in his reanimated series in honor of Meryl Streep.

--- Love Him, Hate Him - There you are, confusing crush John Mayer! He sorta disappeared for a bit when he said some stupid racist stuff or something? I don't know, I can't listen to him. Lust after him, yes. Listen to him, no. Anyway that enormously be-abbed dude with the unfortunate face from Jersey Shore is standing beside Mr. Mayer in the full version of that picutre which you can see at Towleroad; I do not allow pictures of those people here at MNPP though. My barely-there sporadically-applied standards rearing their head again!

--- Spanish Ladies - A pair of lovelies have signed on for Almodovar's next flick, the revenge thriller reunion between Pedro and Antonio Banderas that I am supa supa psyched about.

--- Underground Coolness - Via Arbo comes this news about a subway tomb of 50s movie posters having been exhumed in London. Awesome! I can't remember where it was I saw it but there was this passage in the subways here in NY that I saw ages ago that you could see into this closed-off section of hallway and there were old posters from the 70s hanging on the wall. That was nifty too.

--- And finally, Joe sums up all there is that needs to be said about the idea of a movie based on that Tom Cruise character in Tropic Thunder that he humiliated himself by reprising on the MTV Movie Awards this past weekend. This man is such a joke. Jesus.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... doing an activity with John Mayer
where balls might fly at my nose. (pics via)

Nerd alert! He's such a nerd. And simultaneously a douche-bag. And yet this crush never wavers. I don't even listen to his music! Ugh. I hate myself sometimes.
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The Great Gratuity Round-Up

There've been several good gratuitous moments of some menfolk this week that I haven't yet gotten around to posting, so instead of doing a few separate posts I thought to myself, "Hey self. How you doin this morning? I know, I'm tired too. And all these people are jackasses up in my face. What's that? Yes, I ought to just do one post with a few fellows in it. That'll perk me right up. Good thinking!" So yeah. This is my brain on me. But here are some attractive gentlemen to distract us from my insanity. For a moment.

First up, I know my crush on John Mayer is bad for me. I know it, and yet I also know he has large pillowy lips and is very very tall. And then I forget the rest (like for example the ridiculous nonsense he spews in the interview with Rolling Stone that these photos are from. I have no idea what he's even talking about half the time. But he talks about buttholes and touching himself and oh there are his pillowy lips and I'm lost again.)


I feel no such guilt over my crush on Andy Roddick. Especially since he's actually been getting even better, tennis-wise, these past couple years. Go Andy! (via)


And lastly, it's Hugh Jackman in the water again (via). Could such thing ever elicit a yawn, though? Never.

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Happy (Super-Duper Late) 3 To MNPP

I went looking for a picture of a male celebrity wearing plaid pants and the only one I found was this one of John Mayer:

Does this mean I have to accept him as MNPP's spokeswhore? Because he and I have a sordid, troubled history... I hate him sorta, but he's funny kinda, and then he got all hot and he's really very tall, but he dates Jessica Simpson or Jen Aniston and eww, but still he's hot... total hate-fuck material, I suppose.

Point: It just occurred to me that this here My New Plaid Pants turned 3 years old... a full month ago! June 2nd, to be crystal. Man, if even I can't show the blog any love... it's just like all my goldfish. The minute the boyfriend goes out of town for a trip our goldfish commit hari-kari every time - they swallow pebbles and cram themselves under giant rocks... anything to escape alone time with me. Sad face! This blog is just like the puppy I've always wanted yet will inevitably die once I have my hands on it because I am incapable of nurturing anything besides my own fragile psychoses.

Ahem. So a belated happy blog-birthday to me...? You can give me belated gifts of finding other male celebrities wearing plaid pants, how's that? Where's Jake's plaid-panted support anyway? Ungrateful bastard.
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John Mayer's Bikini Bingo

I've already expressed the shame, the guilt, that I experience with regards to my unfortunate - yet unkillable - crush on John Mayer, so nobody give me any lip! There's no turning back for me, I was lost a long time ago... probably around the time I first stared into the cold dead eyes of a shirtless Joe Penny in an ad for Jake and the Fatman in TV Guide. Anyway, here's Mr. Mayer sporting a Borat-inspired neon-green deck-wear ensemble on a cruise the other day (via here, where there are more shots if you so desire) and getting all gay on some dude. (God I love him) Just kill me now.

(click em to embiggen em)

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Dear John Mayer,

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Happy 30th birthday, dude! I didn't know we were only a couple of months apart in age; that's nuts.

Anyway, I've got two words for you on your birthday: hate-fuck. I've tried to fight your hot for too long, I give in. Even that Jessica Simpson thing didn't wreck it totally. Ever since seeing you in person and discovering you're very, very tall, and then you successfully covered a Radiohead song... I'm lost.

So get back to me!

Sincerely,
JA
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