Joel Kinnaman Three Times

Joel Kinnaman should wear leather pants more often. 

It's just a combination that makes perfect sense. 

Like peanut butter and Joel Kinnaman in leather pants.

(via)

Good Morning, World

Allow Joel Kinnaman to set the mood for this Hump of a Day.

Give It Up For Red Rooms

My first two reviews from the 2023 edition of the Fantasia Film Festival went up over the weekend -- the first one I already told you about, that being the Kinnman-n-Cage starring Sympathy For the Devil, which I reviewed right here. That movie also came out on demand over the weekend so maybe you watched it already and can tell me whether I should've been nicer and/or meaner to it. Please do let me know! I love that.

The other movie though, that's one I very much want you to pay attention to -- it's Quebecois serial killer thriller Red Rooms from director Pascal Plante, and I wrote it up for Mashable. It's fan-freaking-tastic -- deeply unnerving and with a killer lead performance from Juliette Gariépy, who plays a model who becomes (too, too, too) obsessed with a murder case.

I say this in my review but it's very much a modern giallo, but without being obsessed with repeating ad naseum the whole explicit "giallo" thing like a movie like The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears wherethey're trying to make it feel like a movie transported out of the 70s. Red Rooms is very much a movie of right now, and yet it's about a fashion model slash tech whiz slash murder detective! It scratches that giallo itch while adding something new and now. Also Gariépy kills it -- this is very much a movie I could see getting remade here in the U.S. (and hopefully they wouldn't water it down), and it's a role that any smart edgy actress should consider murdering her competition to get.

But don't listen to just me -- Red Rooms took home several of the top prizes at Fantasia over the weekend (even though the fest doesn't end until August 9th they already handed out their awards, I don't know) including Best Film, Best Screenplay for writer-director Plante, and Best Actress for Gariépy. I still can't get over the last act of this movie -- it's bonkers. And I can't wait to watch it again. See all the Fantasia award winners at this link, and stay tuned for several more reviews from yours truly, coming soon. 

Sympathy for the Sweatpants

That photo of Joel Kinnaman rocking some gray sweatpants (swoon) is not from the movie he has out this weekend called Sympathy For the Devil -- I actually have no idea what that photo is from. (Maybe Altered Carbon?) But aren't we all glad that it's the photo I decided to sue for this post? Yeah I thought so. And now that photo will be sitting there on the top of this site for four straight days -- I do right by us all, I swear. Anyway yes indeed it's Thursday, which in Summer Terms means the start of my weekend, and I'll be off-blog until Monday. But to step back for a moment to that movie I mentioned -- Sympathy For the Devil (which sees Joel Kinnaman terrorized by Nicolas Cage and which just premiered at the Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal last weekend (while I was there, whaddya know) before hitting actual movie theaters this weekend) I have seen and Sympathy For the Devil I have reviewed... but the link's not live yet. I'll update this tomorrow when it is. I know I say that all the time but I mean it! Pinky swear or whatever. I'll also have some other Fantasia reviews going up over the next several days but I'll post those links next week when they happen. So basically watch this space! And by "this space" I mean Joel Kinnaman's gray sweatpants. I'm pretty sure they're moving...

ETA see I told you, here's the link to my review of Sympathy
For the Devil at Pajiba. Never doubt my pinky swear again!

Good Morning, Kinnaman

Well it's Monday and I am a liar. On Friday I said I'd probably pop in to post over the weekend and per usual, I lied. I don't know why I even bother saying that shit anymore -- the temptation to collapse the second I get home and stay in that exact position for as long as allowed is just insurmountable. Anyway who cares, it's Monday now and I've got a big Joel Kinnaman photoshoot (via) to share! All wounds are healed! (Related -- did any of you watch The Suicide Squad this weekend? Share your thoughts here in the comments if you did.) Hit the jump for fourteen more photos...

Good Morning, World

James Gunn's Suicide Squad sequel, imaginatively titled The Suicide Squad, premiered in Los Angeles last evening -- look here is a photo of Jai Courtney looking real hot in white with a stache at that event at this link! -- and so here for our morning are these two photos of co-stars Joel Kinnaman & David Dastmalchian (via the latter's Insta) being friendly with one another in a water-based location. Aww, adorable. Dastmalchian is one of those character actors who shows up literally everywhere -- he was in Nolan's Batman movies, he's in this new DC movie, he's in the MCU's Ant-Man films -- he's in Dune for god's sake. He was on the new season of Twin Peaks!  I think he just has to cross Star Wars off still and then he'll have Nerd Bingo. Who does he think he is, Mads Mikkelsen??? Anyway Suicide Squad -- excuse me, The Suicide Squad -- is out everywhere inside of theaters on this Friday -- are you going to go see it? I actually do want to see it (I like Gunn) but I'm nowhere near ready to go see a blockbuster in a crowded opening weekend theater yet, especially with things surging everywhere again! Small movies with barely any crowds? Sure. A packed theater with nobody wearing masks? Not gonna happen any time soon! So we'll be waiting for on demand.

Screw Suicide & Espouse

A new trailer for James Gunn's anti-hero sequel The Suicide Squad has arrived today -- introduced by adorable Jai Courtney! -- and the above shot from the trailer has presented us with a wonderful opportunity. To "Do Dump or Marry" Joel Kinnaman, Idris Elba, and John Cena, of course. The full trailer is just below -- I hope they right the wrongs of the first terrible film -- so watch that and then hit up the comments and tell me which of those three you'd "Do" and which you'd "Dump' and which you'd "Marry" -- it's easy! Give it a try!

Good Morning, World

Rise of the Kinnamans!

Good Morning, World

A bunch of videos of Joel Kinnaman partying with his friends (at the same lake house he always seems to be at, when not working) dropped online yesterday, and they are worth a look! Well at least the moments I have highlighted here are, since they're the Joel Kinnaman parts. Mmm did somebody say "Joel Kinnaman parts"...

And am I crazy or is he wearing a Björn Borg thong underneath those see-through leopard-print shorts? Does Björn Borg even make thongs? What even are these sentences I am writing? Anyway I'm glad that he really wears Björn Borg underwear in real life so I don't feel cheated by all of those Björn Borg underwear ads he starred in in the past year. Truth in advertising! He's not just the President, he's a member! Did somebody say member?

Okay you don't actually see any "member" in that video, but it is kind of weird that this is the second time (after this) that I have seen Joel Kinnaman peeing in a public place be documented right? Weird isn't bad. Weird is just... notable. I have noted that fact. As a side-note, to note, which has nothing to do with Joel Kinnaman -- "Summer Fridays" at my real-world job began last week, and so I'm off today and I probably won't be blogging much, if at all. We'll see how rainy it is and how bored I get at home. You might have to make due with this collection of Joel Kinnaman in wet underwear gifs I have for you after the jump (and I'm sure you'll be ok with that)... 

Which is Hotter?

surveys

The Suicide Squad (aka the sequel to Suicide Squad, because adding a "The" is supposedly enough to distinguish sequels now) released its trailer today, and we'll get to that in a second -- but first they also dropped character posters for all its gazillion characters, showcasing little costume tweaks of note. Joel Kinnaman's entirely forgettable "Rick Flag" seen on the right is looking much more memorable, with the nice snug yellow rabbit t-shirt, while Jai Courtney's "Captain Boomerang" is practically Victorian he's so covered up. Thumbs down, Jai!

survey solutions

And then we see Idris Elba in the role of "Bloodsport" (he's basically replacing Will Smith although they made sure to explain he's a new character and they're not just swapping black actors thinking we won't notice) and John Cena as "Peacemaker," both new additions to the team. Let's hope this one's better than the first one, which was a godawful ugly mess saved intermittently by some great casting decisions. Here's the trailer:

This comes out on August the 6th! Oh and

I made a few gifs of the trailer, after the jump...

Good Morning, World

Yesterday it was Joel Kinnaman presenting bulge, so why not today his Brothers By Blood co-star Matthias Schoenaerts -- here's my review for that movie, which has been out on demand for a few weeks now, in case you missed it. Once again our boy Matty here proves he's the realest of real deals (pic via Matthias' Insta) and I really did mean his acting there and not his biceps, although let's be thankful it's a package deal. One big happy package!

 

What he's saying here (about imposter Insta accounts blah blah) is far less important than JUST LOOK AT HIM pic.twitter.com/hCQxbMYE76

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) February 8, 2021

Good Morning, World

Another day, another pair of photos of Joel Kinnaman modeling underwear for Bjorn Borg. How'd I not notice the gold chain until now? I mean I know how I didn't notice it -- my eyes were obviously elsewhere -- but I went and looked back at all of the previous photos we've been blessed by in this series -- I went and looked in depth, was really thorough -- and sure enough the chain was there the whole time. Guess I should've made a threeway out of that "Jake Gyllenhaal vs Paul Mescal" poll I ran a few months back. Who'd have thought gold chains would make such a comeback? 

Good Morning, World

I can't imagine that any of you who fancy Joel Kinnaman haven't seen this already, it's been around since last week, but he was "caught" doing a Zoom interview for his latest flick Brothers By Blood (which I reviewed here; short version: could've used fewer pants) without pants on, much to the world's delight -- of course "caught" is the fantasy we have decided to structure together, Joel and those of us who care to, since he posted this video himself to his Instagram and he's very clearly aware he's being filmed, and this no doubt was constructed exactly for the type of breathless reporting I am currently engaging in. I know, such a cynic, I am! It's not like I don't enjoy this all the same. I just put far too much thought into it, and then force everyone else too as well. Tis my curse! Enjoy the video:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Joel Kinnaman (@joelkinnaman)

Good Morning, World

It's a blessed new world, one nearly as stuffed with possibility as are Joel Kinnaman's Bjorn Borg underpants in these new photographs (via).Are these the best ones? I think these might be the best shots, but I'm going to have to spend some time this morning poring over the entire line as seen at this link in order to truly make my decision. PS in related news Mr. Kinnaman has a new movie out this weekend called Brothers By Blood with Matthias Schoenaerts, I reviewed it earlier this week right here. But that's so serious. Who can be so serious today? I'm still in celebration mode. Let's hit the jump and celebrate Joel's pants right off some more...

 

Receive Me Brother, With Your Faithless Kiss

A note to everybody in the business of casting and making movies -- hire Matthias Schoenaerts. His specific mixture of sweet, sad, and bulkily intimidating always brings a heap of bang for its buck, to my eye -- I have yet to see a movie that wasn't made a little to a lot better just by Matthias being in it. (Okay maybe A Little Chaos, but that was one hundred percent that terrible wig's fault.) And so it goes for Brothers By Blood,(formerly titled The Sound of Philadelphia), director Jérémie Guez's languorous dissection of crime-family dynamics, set to strike VOD and some theaters this week. (Watch the trailer here.) A textbook case in "Hire Matthias Schoenaerts" if ever there was.

Schoenaerts plays Peter, another one of the introspective boxer-types that he could play in his sleep at this point. But Matthias, bless his bulk, never sleeps, even when he's called on again to be oh-so world-weary -- he remains keenly watchable even at his most somnambulistic, monosyllabic; he resonates like a quiet little bull in the corner of the china-shop standing on its tippy-toes trying so hard to not smash the world. By now Matthias can virtuoso out the tension of that un-smashing -- he's forever the lean-back to a punch, one that doesn't always come. One that might morph into a hug, a big bear one, given the correct alignment of hugging circumstances.

Peter specifically seems to just want to box and blend into the Philadelphia night shadows, but he's unfortunately for him cousins with an erratic and mildly-deranged small-time crime-boss Michael (Joel Kinnaman, hobbling and viper-eyed), who exploits Peter's meat-packing presence to his constant advantage. When the menu calls for intimidation, Michael calls up Peter to his side. Kinnaman, leaning on a cane, somehow inverts his own hulking presence, seeming more like a rat blown up to human-size; scraggly and feral under baggy person clothes. He limps in all the senses.

But besides their violent business relationship Peter and Michael are more than just cousins -- when the movie starts they do seem like friends, semi-confidantes, and at that maybe even the brothers of blood referenced in the title; that final note even moreso as the film metes out their family story in scattered flashback. The boys' crime-history, sordid and sad, becomes their crime-present with overlapping lines of betrayal, all tied and twisted into a crime-future of who knows. No good though. That's for certain in these sorts of stories. Hugs be damned.   

Meanwhile there's also Paul Schneider playing their in-over-his-head old friend, and Maika Monroe as his sister visiting town who quickly becomes The Girl caught in between the cousin-brothers. And in flashback we have a whiskey-faced Ryan Phillippe playing Peter's father, distraught with grief and plotting stupid revenge that will probably cause the whole house, multiple houses even, to crumble. Every past has its moments, some more than most.

But side-characters aside it's mainly the Schoenaerts & Kinnaman Show. And while Brothers By Blood might not be something I've never seen before -- even if Guez does have a great eye for wet city shadows and sad plastered walls, giving this place the sort of dilapidated sense you can smell -- those two actors do manage to make something often worth watching out of some pretty familiar scraps. Are they totally believable as Irish-Americans? That, my friends, is a stretch best forgetting. But they're both immensely watchable all the same, and Schoenaerts in particular, man, the dude just bear-hugs out wonders time and again with whatever you hand him. He fills the screen on his own.

With Brothers Like This...

Oh the hits are coming hard and fast this afternoon -- now I've got the first trailer for Brothers By Blood (which used to be called The Sound of Philadelphia, which it's weirdly still listed as on IMDb) starring Matthias Schoenaerts and Joel Kinnaman! Naturally, as it stars Matthias Schoenaerts and Joel Kinnaman, I have been all over this movie like beard hairs on Matthias' pillow since the moment I first heard about it a couple years back -- it has Matthias playing a guy who's trying to get out of his criminal family just as his close cousin (Kinnaman) becomes more involved with the bad shit. 

Not a plot we've never heard before, for sure -- heck even Matthias has starred in a couple of movies already that sound just like it! -- but I really liked director Jérémie Guez's last film (the post-apocalyptic Zombies-take-Paris flick The Night That Eats the World, reviewed here) and... well you know the "and." It stars Matthias and Joel, for god's sake! It also, for that matter, co-stars Paul Schneider, Maika Monroe, and Ryan Phillippe. Here's the trailer:

Brothers By Blood hits Theaters + VOD on January 22nd.

Good Morning, World

Hi, everybody! I know it's been several days since we last spoke (unless you're on Twitter in which I case I never shut up my damn mouth not once) so in order to ease us back into the routine of things here are four more "Joel Kinnaman modeling Bjorn Borg underwear" photos, very similar to all of the "Joel Kinnaman modeling Bjorn Borg underwear" we posted over and over and over again before the break. Something comfortable for us all to slip on, start this here post-holiday full-week out easy, and such. I hope everyone had a nice, safe (emphasis on the latter) holiday, and now we will hit the jump for the remainders...

Good Morning, World

Haha on Friday morning I blathered something about me going back and forth between the same two people all week -- Tom Mercier and Joel Kinnaman -- and here we are, keeping on keeping with the Kinnaman come Monday. Whatcha gonna do -- when Joel Kinnaman presents, you accept. (via)

Good Morning, World

A higher-quality copy of one of Joel Kinnaman's Björn Borg underwear campaign photos that we did not have a high quality copy of when we posted all of them earlier this week has now made itself known, and I am making it known further. Everybody must do their part! (click to embiggen)

Joel Kinnaman Two Plus Times

Part of me thought I should hold off posting these new Bjorn Borg ads of Joel's until tomorrow morning for our "Good Morning" post, but everybody's going to have fully digested them by then the way the world works now and I'd seem a relic of the ancient past twenty-four hours from now -- more than usual, I mean -- so here, now, there they are! See Joel's previous Bjorn Borg ads at this link. Today's ones are the best ones though! And if you hit the jump I've got a couple slightly lesser-quality snaps off a video Joel posted on his Insta...