Good Morning, World

A happy 44th birthday to our Jamie Dornan today! I'm glad I never watched or heavily giffed (save one important exception) the Fifty Shades movies because it's left me lots of little treats over the years to post, like these two shots that I have never ever seen before in all my many years. Yum, endless blessings. Maybe some day when I am feeling especially, like wildly stupid, I will binge all of these movies? I could binge all of them and all of the Twilight movies, which I've never seen either! Make a whole weekend of it. And then blow my brains out. Happy Friday!

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... a simple pair of golden shorts.

Make Like Jamie Dornan...

... and stick something tasty in your mouth hole 

this weekend. Goodbye until Monday!

 

All My Pretty Precioussses

I think I'm hardly alone in stating the cold hard dead truth that the three Hobbit movies kinda sorta broke my desire to watch Tolkein's Middle-Earth on the big screen anymore -- I couldn't even tell you anything that happened in them at this point; they went right in one eye and out the other. That said I started watching the Prime series, I think just because it landed in a lull in my schedule, and there's been some fun stuff in it. I will give it this -- it looks very expensive. (And given that Bezos shelled out like a billion dollars for the rights I should fucking hope so.) 

Anyway I wasn't really feeling much enthusiasm about Andy Serkis slipping into Peter Jackson's director's chair to make Lord of the Rings; The Hunt For Gollum, yet another big-screen adventure -- this one about the period in the story where Gollum (who else) had already found the ring but before Bilbo got to him and snatched away his Preciousssss -- even as names like Sir Ian and Elijah Wood and Lee Pace started circling a return to the franchise. To get to my belabored point, made even more belabored by the photo up top giving my game away, they've now announced that dreamboat Jamie Dornan will be replacing Viggo Mortensen as "Strider" aka the name his character went by before he embraced his princely panatloons and became the Aragorn we all came to know and love in the original trilogy. 

God this is so much nerd shit I am barfing right now! I need to go chop some wood or something stat. Anyway gorgeous Jamie is always a yes. I don't even care. I will now be watching this damn movie. And that's before we even get to the other two names that just got cast in it -- the queen herself Kate Winslet will apparently be the film's female lead, playing a character named "Marigol" (this site theorizes that she's Smeagol's grandmother), while our beautiful blond boy Leo Woodall will be playing a cohort of Strider's named Halvard. Does this mean this movie will have a lot of Jamie Dornan and Leo Woodall running around together, all bearded and dirty and huddling beside fires for warmth??? Because that's the movie I'm writing in my head, you best damn believe it. 

Good Morning, World

Yesterday I was trying to figure out if Jamie Dornan did any bits on SNL UK (which he hosted this past weekend) where he took his clothes off, but instead of figuring that out what I found was this vintage photo of baby Jamie from his modeling days. What year do we think this is? I'm guessing early Aughts since he's definitely younger here than he was in Marie Antoinette in 2006. Anyway -- did anybody watch Jamie host the new UK edition of SNL? I saw one skit posted on social media and it was an excellent reminder that Jamie is a great comedian and he should be getting roles in comedies more. Hell he should be getting roles more, period. The people demand more Dornan dammit!

Jamie Dornan Wishes You...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... all swole with Jamie Dornan. (via)

Yeahhhh let's get an instant replay on that:

JFC, Jamie. Here's the full vid:

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... quenching my thirst with Jamie Dornan.

Is this the first time there have been visible pubes in a Coke commerical? You'd think they'd want to avoid triggering memories of a certain Supreme Court Justice -- and I apologize to all for bringing that up in the middle of what should be a celebratory moment -- I just couldn't help but wonder. I even went back to watch (and watched two or three more times just to make sure) the infamous Lucky Vanous Coke commercial from back in the day but Lucky was so hairy it was difficult to tell where actual pubes began. What even are these sentences I'm writing? Point being, Jamie Dornan is the new Coke spokesperson! Not meaning that he's the spokesperson for the much-derided "New Coke" -- JFC all of the references I'm making right now are so ancient. What is it, 1991 in here? (I fucking wish.) I just mean he's Coke's new spokesperson. You get it. Jamie Dornan is hot, he's funny, he's half-naked, he's perfect. That's all. Here's the commercial:

And I made several more gifs and they're after the jump...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Wild Mountain Thyme (2020)

Anthony: Feelings are useless.

Rosemary: I think it's worse in a man. 

I can't stand a man with feelings.

Anthony: A man with feelings should be put down!

A happy 43rd birthday to the gorgeous and talented Jamie Dornan, who's overcome his past (and ocassional present) as just the pretty face and pretty ass of a male model to prove himself to be a genuinely talented thespian over the years. That said not even genuine talent could make this deranged movie work -- click here to read my review from when it dropped, which still remains one of my most popular reviews at Pajiba. Although I think that has very little to do with me and more to do with the wild WTF-ery of this movie. I mean... a bee? WTF. Anyway now as a gift to us all on the man's birthday one of the hottest NSFW Jamie birthday-suit modeling photos ever taken (with more here): 

Jamie Dornan Three Times

See a few more over here.

Good Morning, World

On Thursday of last week I posted the cover image for this ICON magazine photoshoot of Jamie Dornan, and as promised therein here we are with the rest! Or what I think is the rest. Some scattered additionals might reveal themselves, as is the internet's wont, and...

... we certainly won't be angry about it. If you can speak Spanish (or if you're not being lazy like me and feel like using a translator on the website) you can read the chat with Jamie right here. I don't really know what he's advertising -- besides his own hot ass, which fine! -- since I checked IMDb and he doesn't have any immediate projects coming out. But hot ass is plenty! We liked being reminded it's there! Hit the jump for the (maybe) full shoot...

I Have a Screening...

... so here is a vintage photo of today's "It Boy" Jamie Dornan posing with a couple more Calvin Klein models back in his own Aughts-era modeling days -- the other boys seem to've drawn the short straw when it came to clothes but we're not angry at the visual (and the scenario) provided! (click to embiggen) I'll be back on here tomorrow, y'all have a nice rest of Thursday.

Good Morning, World

Ooh batten down your hatches -- we're gonna have a new Jamie Dornan photoshoot! Okay yes all we have right now is the cover and I shouldn't jump the gun, but it was a rare Insta-bright-spot in a sad Insta-morning (did you see SMG's post about Michelle Trachtenberg? Broken hearted. Not to mention all of the Gene Hackman tributes rolling in. Good grief.) I daren't hope this shoot when revealed in full could be as good as his Arena Homme shoot last year but that image above is promising anyway. It reminds me of a bit that Sandra Bernhard had in one of her comedy specials where she made a joke about an album cover for Heart where one of them had "one eye obscured by a peacock feather." And I like that.

So What Do You Think...

... these three talked about?

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Barb and Stars Go to Vista Del Mar (2021)

Star: You've been pleasuring me a lot lately. 

In that last position, your dong went really deep. 

I think your dong went all the way up and... touched my heart.

Happy 51 to my hometown sweetheart Kristen Wiig!

Makin Like Dornan

Just as in these new photos of Jamie Dornan here at the beach I find myself with a sudden holiday before me -- mine isn't quite so liberating though cuz my office is taking a half day because everybody got COVID and shit. I have myself so far tested negative, fingers crossed. Anyway along with our scheduled Summer Fridays this means when I leave in about half an hour I'm all of a sudden gone til Monday. I know! How half-assed of me! That said I will be doing plenty of work over the next four days -- although I'm back from Montreal I'm still consuming Fantasia Fest movies + prepping reviews and you'll surely see some of that soon. But for now, I be ghostin. Have a good weekend and wish me continued COVID-negativity please...

Good Morning, World

Is it possible that that is a photo from Jamie Dornan's offensively erotic 2014 photoshoot for Interview Magazine that I haven't seen before? Glancing back at my original post -- and P.S. this shoot is celebrating its 10 year anniversary in two weeks! -- there's no sight of the above photo anywhere. But that photo is most certainly of the same time and from the same shoot by the photographers Marcus Piggott and Mert Alas. Nor is it that one included in my follow-up post that shared a few more a couple weeks after the first. Okay -- and now that I'm digging I found a couple more that are 100% new to my eyes! What a perfect and pleasant and unexpected Friday surprise! And so soon after his world-class shoot for Arena Homme too. Everything's coming up Jamie, the everlasting sexpot. Hit the jump for all of the new old Interview photos...

Yes, It's Jamie Dornan Two More Times

I don't know why I'd convinced myself last week that Arena Homme+ magazine would stop dropping epic new Jamie Dornan photos after one week of it -- I guess one just doesn't want to seem greedy (editor's note: I have never had an issue with seeming greedy) and also usually the magazine gets around to, you know, posting the whole thing at some point. But if they want to drop new Jamie Dornan photos from this photoshoot on me every day for months, years, until the sun explodes, I'm good with that. We'll keep dutifully posting them. (via) 

Good Morning, World

After it all I'm actually extremely happy that the photographers of this Jamie Dornan shoot allowed Jamie to finish me off -- excuse me, allowed the photoshoot of Jamie to finish the week off. It's been an all-week-long affair, one Jamie pilping on top- of another Jamie on top of another Jamie... mmm I like that visual. Anyway see what we have to date at this link -- as promised once I am sure it's everything I'll do a complete single one-stop post, but I am not sure of that yet. So enjoy these two new ones and good morning. It's Friday! I really wasn't sure I was gonna make it this week. Thank goodness for Jamie and his little white shorts and fluffy hair. They made it happen.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

 Today I'd rather be...

... getting a mouthful of Dornan.

See! I told you this morning that now that I'd come to terms with the fact that the photographers of this photoshoot were doling out one photo per day they were going to mess with me! And here we are with an entire spitting series. This is not me complaining, by the way. This is the exact right way to mess with me. Jamie Dornan spitting. Anyway I know these posts are now wildly spread out but I promise once the entire shoot's available I will collect them all into one place. For now see them all at this link. ETA oh wait even as I clicked publish on this post two more photos appeared! Blessed day!