Yo Bros

I guess I should be paying more attention here on the site to Bros, Billy Eichner's forthcoming "first gay rom-com from a major studio" that Eichner wrote, that The Muppets director Nicholas Stoller is directing, and which Judd Apatow (ugh) is producing -- I guess it takes the casting announcement that the very handsome Luke Macfarlane (from the show Brothers & Sisters) is going to star opposite Eichner to force my hand.

I always have to remind myself that I loved Difficult People when it comes to Eichner -- a little of him goes a long way (I couldn't with all the screaming on Billy on the Street, it's too much for me) and he seems aware of such, at least -- the cast that surrounded him on Difficult People was ace (I will forever be grateful to that show for introducing me to Cole Escola, for one) and so I look forward to seeing who else gets cast in Bros. If this truly is an Apatow Universe kinda movie there will be a ton of secondary characters. Give us Cole Escola again or give us death!

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Being John Malkovich (1999)

Craig: You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.

Spike Jonze's Being John Malkovich, considered by those in the know to be the best movie of the greatest movie years of our lives 1999, premiered on this very day in that very great year at the Venice Film Festival. This was the very first screenwriting credit for writer and personal god Charlie Kaufman -- imagine having something this distinctive, this brilliant, be your very first screenwriting credit?? No wonder Charlie decided from there on out to be rather, uhh, uncompromising in what he slaps his name on. 

Of course that's exactly the mind-set he's poking fun at in the quote from the movie I chose, and the reason we love Charlie so (so so so) much (one of them anyway) is he never takes him own damned self out of his laser-sharp sights. All his best jokes are at his own expense! Well except for all the hilarious shredding of Judd Apatow he did in his recently dropped novel Antkind -- those jokes are definitely at Judd Apatow's expense. 

Have any of you read Antkind yet? I don't purport to be "evenhanded" when it comes to Kaufman's work -- just read my review of his new movie (out on Friday!) I'm Thinking of Ending Things from earlier this week to see how in the tank I am -- but I loved every insane inch of Antkind, even when I had no fucking idea what was happening. Maybe especially when that? I know there are perfectly acceptable other answers to this question but why even engage with a work of art if it's not going to change and challenge you? WHY EVEN???

But back to Being John Malkovich, which I think I can say changed and challenged all of us, meaning you and me and the entire concept of what's possible with telling a story on film. I re-watched BJM along with Synecdoche New York and Anomolisa a couple of weeks back to prepare myself for Kaufman's new movie and Malkovich holds up so well its ridiculous. 

It might feel even more vital now, looking back on it 21 years later, with the ways in which it was prescient about our culture -- like say our enthusiastic willingness to have our selves be swallowed up by a superficially shinier other, where most of the thrill ultimately ends up being the humdrum mundanity of it? Living through someone else's eyes is itself enough -- we'll just eat soup, stare at the wall, as long as we are not we for a single fucking second. 

Anyway before I close this out let me say also Please 

Please make another movie soon, Spike Jonze. (Oh and PS

Adaptation is hitting blu-ray for the first time in October!)

Quote of the Day

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There's a fantastic new chat with our hero Paul Reubens up at THR today, which has him broaching the long-gestating and rumored subject of his so-called "Dark Pee-wee Movie" which has our favorite bow-tied wunderkind falling into a Valley of the Dolls-esque nightmare parable of drug addiction and Hollywood woe. I know, I know, it sounds weird, but I can also totally picture it -- and who didn't think a kiddie cartoon land of talking Pterodactyls and gay jokes sounded weird in the 80s? The 90s? Now??? It's best not to doubt Paul Reubens is my point. 

There's a lot of info in here -- apparently Reubens and Judd Apatow clashed some over the making of 2013's Pee-wee's Big Holiday, as Paul says his problem was mainly he wanted to make his dark movie and Apatow did not, and the lighter film was a compromise. I don't care, I love Holiday -- read my review here. I'll take my Pee-wee any which way I can get him. Here's a choice bit from this new chat as to where things stand now though:

"Reubens, now more than ever, still wants to make his Valley of the Dolls Pee-wee movie, even if nobody else does. According to several well-placed sources, he's been aggressively shopping the Pee-wee Herman Story script around town and has agreed to make the movie for $15 million, half the budget of Big Holiday. Apatow still isn't interested and Sarandos passed on the project for Netflix, saying it "doesn't check off all the boxes" of a Pee-wee movie, according to a source with knowledge of the exchange. Undeterred, Reubens approached the Safdie brothers, the sibling-director wunderkinds behind Uncut Gems, who are considering the project."

I might not have loved Uncut Gems like most did but I still have plenty of good will left for the Safdies thanks to Good Time, which I did love very very much, so I say let's mount a campaign and harass them into acquiescence. The thought of them making a Pee-wee movie lights my wig on fire! That's a positive thing. I think it's an incredible idea. And I'll scream just that at Paul Reubens from the audience when I see his live tour with Pee-wee's Big Adventure in a few weeks.

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We Approve of this Behavior

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This is the first thing that's made me interested in this movie.

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Quote of the Day II

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"I'm not nervous. I'm very glamorous. 

I don't feel out of place here. 

I'm 160lbs and can catch a dick any time I want."

-- That's my pretend best girlfriend Amy Schumer  presenting an award (to Jennifer Suanders, no less) at the Glamour Awards last night. Godddd I love her. Trainwreck really can't get here soon enough, you guys.

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Joe Is The New Tito

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If there's one thing Everything Pee-wee Herman needs, it's a sexy tanned stud lurking somewhere - first there was Tito the lifeguard (he was our favorite) but there was also the soccer player Ricardo, and numerous nameless shirtless moving men, and who can forget the male porn star that played the police officer in the movie?

So into this illustrious bevy of proud bronzed gods marches tall our present day's main muscle man, one Mr. Joe Manganiello. He's just signed on to star in Netflix's Pee-wee's Big Holiday, the studio's upcoming movie that's in the middle of being filmed (thanks Mac). Who will Joe play? Who cares? But I bet you a box of Mr. T cereal that Pee-wee makes him look better than he's ever looked before. I'm picturing a tool-belt and lots of screwdriver puns.
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Look It's John Cena's O-Face

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Well I guess I should've waited (previous post here) for Amy Schumer to release the red-band trailer for her upcoming movie Trainwreck, directed by Judd Apatow, because it's stuffed with thrusting John Cena, and some dude's big bouncy butt...

... actually, it's this dude's big bouncy butt:

Looking through the cast list I believe that's an actor named Josh Segarra, who's playing a character named "Staten island Oli," which is just the greatest character name. We've actually stared at Segarra naked-ish before - he took it off on that show Sirens one time...
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(They are the same person right?)
And oh no, did he shave his chest?

Why, Maybe-Josh-Segarra? Why???
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Oh well we'll always have the John Cena thrusting thing...

While I was looking through that cast list though I also happened to notice that there are four characters called "One Night Stand Guy" and then another promising one called "Dumpster Guy." Oh Amy, I love you. Here's that red-band trailer:

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A Trainwreck Of Laughter

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"I like you, Amy. You're clever but you're not too brainy. 

You're prettyish but not gorgeous. You're... approachable."

"I'm like Mark Wahlberg ate Mark Wahlberg!"

"I'm gonna call the police."

Sorry if I ruined any of those punchlines for y'all but the trailer for Judd Apatow's Trainwreck, written by and starring my love Amy Schumer, had me laughing so hard I broke a rib, yo. You can watch it over here. Trainwreck's out on July 17th, aka right after my birthday! It's a present for me!

I Am Link

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--- Halt My Heart - There's a point early in this Interview Magazine chat between Lee Pace and Jim parson where Parson says "You came out..." and I leaned very very far forward in my chair, but then he continued, "... and stayed with me..." and I sighed. Still it's a gay old time they have, chatting about finding one's self in the theater community, and dancing to disco music. Also Lee looks really beautiful in the pictures. Richard Armitage is a lucky man!

--- Score Nivola - Just because we don't get nearly enough interviews with Alessandro Nivola in the world, here's Alessandro talking about (his tennis shorts in A Most Violent Year? No, I wish) doing The Elephant Man on Broadway with Bradley Cooper. I wish I was gonna have a chance to see this show. (thanks Mac)

--- Everybody (Eats) Poops - I'd already marked it in my calendar that John Waters was doing an art-show here in NYC next month (in fact I'd mentioned it last week) but now there's word that there will be video - specifically something called Kiddie Flamingos which yes, is Pink Flamingos acted out by children. Oh my god, you guys. Oh my god.

--- King Tilda - I haven't read this one yet but here's a chat with Tilda Swinton talking about the characters she played in Snowpiercer and The Grand Budapest Hotel this year - I love that she's really making the rounds; it would be so super-cool of she got nominated for Snowpiercer. I don't expect it to happen, but it'd be super-cool if it did.

--- Compu Kate - I squealed about this on Twitter but it deserves mention for real - Kate Winslet is in talks to join Jobs, which yes means that Kate Winslet is in talks to star in a movie opposite Michael Fassbender. Mind, blown, kaboom. I hope it's a substantial role for her though - she's Kate Winslet! When I think of Steve Jobs' story I don't really think of it being an environment putting any women central, and they're not naming what the role is. I mean Danny Boyle is directing the movie, so it's not unimaginable that he'll have her pubic haircut be a plot-point.

--- Black Bond - This isn't really news but what the hell, it's Idris Elba talk so we'll go there - in one of Sony head Amy Pascal's leaked emails she expressed the same desire we've all had, that Idris would take over James Bond when Daniel Craig is finished. This is exactly like a fantasy I once had - as soon as Daniel Craig was finished, Idris Elba stepped in and took over. And it was awesome.

--- Strange Stars - It's only some space-agey art-work a la the wall of a 70s van but Doctor Strange director Scott Derrickson tweeted out an image of Benedict Cumberbatch in his doctor look, and Benny does look the part. But we knew he'd look the part. He was the obvious choice. A little too obvious really. Maybe by the time we get this movie in what, three years, we'll be ready to not be a little bit sick of Ben and his obviousness for the part will work.

--- Playhouse Forever - I've been reporting on a new Pee Wee Herman movie happening for what feels like my entire life, but Slash says it's really for real supposed to shoot next year, and that Netflix is the company financing it. Judd Apatow's just producing, I think; we'll apparently hear more news soon. My inner-child is doing that "Tequila" bar dance in anticipation.

I Am Link

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--- Hate Bound - The cast (or at least the big parts of the cast) for Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight has been announced and while everybody's buzzing that Channing Tatum will be in it (in what's described as a smallish role) what's got me hooked is Demian Bichir, who's super-underrated in both the talent and the looks department. See this post for the latter, lots and lots of the latter.

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--- A New King - I guess it was a few months ago we heard that Eric Bana was going to play Elvis Presley in a movie about the infamous meeting the King had with President Nixon; now comes word that Bana's out, and Michael Shannon is in? Michael Shannon is way too skinny to play Elvis in 1970, but okay. Then another shoe drops - Kevin Annoying Spacey is playing Nixon. Downgrade.
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--- Touchdown Sally - So apparently Laura Dern brought an idea about female football fans to Judd Apatow and he liked it and now the two of them are going to make the movie. Voila! THR only specifies that the two are producing the film, it's not clear if Apatow's directing or if Dern's starring in it, but let's fucking hope so. A female South Park writer named Pam Brady is set to write it.
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--- Danger Orphan - The guy who wrote the "better than it had any right being" remake of The Last House on the Left is writing and directing a movie called Standoff next, which will star Thomas Jane as a wounded veteran who is protecting an orphan on the run from a sadistic assassin played by Laurence Fishburne.

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--- Tilting Again - I just kind of wish Terry Gilliam would give up on his Don Quixote movie thing, but windmills, man, windmills - he's just signed the bound-to-be-a-big-movie-star Jack O'Connell in the lead, doubtlessly dragging the boy off while he's got heat into an endless mire of movie-making from which no one will escape sane.
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--- Scarface 2: Extra Scars - When I saw Brian DePalma at a Q&A ages ago for a screening of Passion he mentioned he was trying to work with Al Pacino again (they of course made Carlito's Way and Scarface previously) and here's that finally happening - the movie's to be called Retribution and it's about "a hit-man and a cop who will go to any length to stop a Philadelphia child prostitution ring."
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--- Tool Belt - I really do not get this list at Jezebel on "The Best Crotch Shots In Mainstream Film" - they say it's not really in order but it's really not in order because it's all over the place (Michael Fassbender how are you dropped nonchalantly in the middle there like that?) but if you just ignore the numbers and enjoy the pictures, who cares, cuz dicks! I'd never seen that shot of Peter Gallagher before; wowza.
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--- Little People - I keep keeping hope alive that Alexander Payne might win me back; I did love his first few movies so much, and then everything went horribly awry with The Descendants. Nebraska didn't do it. But maybe his new movie, which sounds crazy, can - Matt Damon will star in Downsizing, which is all Honey I Shrunk The Kids and shit, but about over-consumption. I hope he keeps it light and stays away from preachiness, is all; having seen Payne in person a couple of times he really, really loves the sound of his own voice.
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Pics of the Day

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Even though Judd Apatow is pretending this isn't for his movie - he really hasn't gotten a hang of how the internet works - it's fairly certain to everybody with eyeballs and a computer that these pictures are of Daniel Radcliffe and Marisa Tomei filming something for Trainwreck, Apatow's upcoming movie with Amy Schumer. For instance, here is Judd and Amy with Daniel and Marisa and a bunch of cameras surrounding them.

I just don't know what they could be doing! Anyway I love everybody I see on set for this movie, and it's almost making me totally forget that Judd's last movie made me want to commit Apatowicide and wipe his family from existence. Amy Schumer, man. She's amazing. Oh and so is Daniel Radcliffe hanging on doggies.

In somewhat related hey-give-me-some-clicks news, did you know that there's a blu-ray boxed-set of the Harry Potter movies for under 50 bucks on Amazon? That seems kind of crazy cheap to me.

Look At Tilda

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That's a pap-snap of Miss Swinton on the NYC set of Judd Apatow's upcoming movie with my new best girlfriend Amy Schumer called Trainwreck - I was just thinking the other day that I wanted to see Tilda shake up her look a little, and here we are, with a million dollar wig and some fancy-lady accoutrement. She looks lovely. A Judd Apatow joint is not the place I was expecting this from, ya know? What the hell do we think Amy's got up her sleeve with this flick anyway?
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I Am Link

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--- Fast Pants - Some concept art-work for what Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch might look like in the second Avengers movie has been released online - since Quicksilver is being played by Aaron Johnson, his costume is of TERRIBLE importance to us. It looks possibly tight enough there, but it's kind of hard to tell with the blur. When in doubt, designers, go tighter. Much much much tighter. You cannot go tight enough. If it's so tight all of his parts just burst out of it, you should still go tighter.

--- Keep Out - Talk about a step up: Chinese genius Zhang Yimou is in talks to take over a movie called Great Wall from Ed Zwick of all people. World War Z writer Max Brooks came up with the story about the Great Wall of China's original intent being to keep out big scary monsters - Zwick almost made it a couple of years ago, but it fell through, and now Yimou might make it instead. Hell yes.

--- Blonde Venus - Hey oh looky here it's some more pictures of Cate Blanchett looking amazing on the set of Carol, Todd Haynes' adaptation of Patricia Highsmith's book The Price of Salt. (thanks Murtada) She looks amazing.

--- Two Scary - Ti West's cult movie (it's about a cult, that is) The Sacrament comes out in May; I've already reviewed it, and I wasn't nuts about it. So today's news that his next movie is going to star two of my least favorite actors in all of the world, John Travolta and Ethan Hawke, is not exactly putting me into my happy place today. It's called In the Valley of Violence, and it's a revenge Western set in the 1890s. You're testing my patience, Ti.

--- Come On Ride It - Meanwhile a director whose last movie I outright loathed is trying to make it up to me - take notes from Judd Apatow, Ti West! He is making a film called Trainwreck next, we've mentioned it before, it is centered on an actress/comedian named Amy Schumer who we're not familiar with - anyway Judd is trying to get Tilda Swinton to co-star in it (besides the already signed Brie Larson and Bill Hader, huzzah) which translates to he loves us and wants to make everything alright after the abysmal This is 40.

--- Super News - Best news of the week: Pixar finally got their crap together and are making the one sequel they should be making, a second Incredibles movie. Cannot wait for this. I think I heard they're turning the first movie into a 3D film too, for re-release? I'll totally go see that.

--- Fishy Dish - Apparently Sofia Coppola is in talks to direct a live-action version of The Little Mermaid. Like, the original fairy tale, not the Disney one with the singing crab. I totally want to see this but I don't co-sign the idea that she needs to mix up what she's been doing - I adored The Bling Ring, as I have adored nearly everything she's made. As long as she makes Mermaid her own, puts her stamp on it, then this'd be cool.

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I Am Link

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--- Over Her Shoulder Boulder Holders - Bette Midler is going to perform at the Oscars! If you can believe it, this is her first time performing, too. (That is insane.) Nathaniel thinks she'll be singing over the corpse montage, and he's probably right - he offers a bunch of much more enticing options from her musical moments; the thought of "Otto Titsling" happening on the Oscar stage literally, literally, made my heart skip a beat. I'd also be fine with "Oh Industry," for the record. Or the birthday bunny boy song. Really anything from Beaches. Oh god now I need to watch Beaches.

--- Timeless Threesome - Criterion just released one of their predictably magnificent editions of Francois Truffaut's masterpiece Jules and Jim, stocked to the gills with bonus content to drool over, but it's our pal John's queer read on the flick over at Pop Matters that is not to be missed. It's been awhile since I've seen the movie; nigh time to revisit, I'd say.

--- Her Versus Her -  I haven't been able to bring myself to watch the video because it sounds awkward and I don't want to associate Spike Jonze with awkward - I'm content to associate him with "adorable" and "climb onto my lap immediately" - but here he is getting into a bunch of awkwardness with a journalist who didn't like Her at all. 

--- Hustle Forth - A mid-point reminder to head over to The Film Experience and vote on this week's "Beauty Vs. Beast" poll, where we're asking you to pick sides between the lads and ladies of David O. Russell's American Hustle. I can't say I'm surprised at who's winning, but I am surprised at how close it is between the men.

--- Train Wreck - I hated Judd Apatow's last movie, the phenomenally execrable This is 40, so so so very much that I'm having trouble being enthusastic about anything coming from him even though he's shaking things up an awful lot - the film is written by the comedian Amy Schumer, who is also starring. (I have no idea who she is.) It also stars Bill Hader. (I know who he is. I love him.) And now making it impossible for me to ignore, my beloved Brie Larson has joined the movie. (Thanks Mac) Fine, Judd Apatow! I will give you another chance dammit. I mean I love Girls too, so I suppose I can do this.

--- Golden Dozen - Did you know that once upon a time way way back in their first decade of existence the number of Best Picture nominees at the Academy Awards fluctuated all over the place, from three to a dozen? That year with three must've sucked. Over at TFE Tim takes a look at one of the years with a dozen nominees, 1934, which included two of the best romantic comedies of all time. Tim even manages to get a dig in at human hambones Dick Powell and Ruby Keeler, be still my heart. (I hate them. Joan Blondell forever!)

--- Far Eastern Heroes - Joss Whedon will be shooting the second Avengers movie in Seoul, South Korea, of all places. This makes me sad - I was hoping I'd get to stumble upon them shooting here in New York again. Chris Evans would catch my eye, toss me over his shoulder, carry me to the nearest hotel and mount me on his adamantium shield... what was I talking about?

--- Brother Bill - I'm saving this for lunchtime reading since it's long but The Dissolve has an impressively hefty piece up on the career of Bill Murray up; I rewatched Groundhog Day the other night, ever the charmer, so Murray's the mood.

--- Music For Insects - Edgar Wright is re-teaming with frequent scoring companion Steven Price for his Ant-Man movie; Price most recently did the score (and got nommed for an Oscar) for Alfonso Cuarón's Gravity, which I just fucking adore. I know some people think it's too much but I loooooove that soundtrack. That deep thrumming zipping synth sound that ratchets up as the debris comes flying gives me tingles down there.

--- And Finally when we first heard that Homeland's Rupert Friend was going to be playing the Hitman (replacing Timothy Olyphant) in Agent 47 we wondered what he was gonna look with a shaved head (more than wonder, we outright thought it wouldn't work on him) - well now we have a picture and... I'm undecided. What do y'all think?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Good Morning, World

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I hope everyone had a lovely little holiday, if Thanksgiving (and/or Hanukkah) is a thing you celebrate; if it's not, then I hope you had a nice weekend, and I envy you for probably never feeling over the course of the past few days so full that you might literally dig into your chest cavity with your bare fingers to remove your own ribs, for being in the way of your expanding guts. It's not a nice feeling. Anyway that's Martin Starr up top; I have no real reason for posting him (it's not his birthday or anything) except that the scene where he dresses as the Bionic Woman in Freaks & Geeks popped into my head the other day and I couldn't stop laughing.

"No! These are not bionic! These are all me!"

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Good Morning, World

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Pretty sure I've posted this shot of Seth Rogen in Knocked Up for his birthdays past, but what the hey, it makes me laugh. He's turning 31 today. What do we think about the trailer for This Is the End? I saw it before Spring Breakers this weekend and my friend I was with had a viscerally negative reaction to it.

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TGT12: The Tattered Trousers

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The Tattered Trousers go to the worst movies I saw last year. The ones you'd have to use physical force and oodles of restraints - oodles! - in order to get me to watch them again, and even then I would probably chew my own tongue off and suffocate myself with it before I made it through the opening credits. So, you know - buyer beware! I always keep these brief because none of us need to spend any more time with these movies ever again, so let's just get it over with. Hold your noses, people!

Hitchcock (review)

Total Recall (review)

This is 40 (review)

Vamps (review)

Wrath of the Titans

 The Cold Light of Day 
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Rise of the Guardians (review)
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The Devil Inside (review)
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This Means War

Paranormal Activity 4 (review)