Can You Survive Sexy Taron Egerton?

2026 is, if nothing else good, at least looking like those of us who like looking at Taron Egerton will be fed well -- I already told you about his aptly-titled comedy Everybody Wants To F*ck Me, but I missed the news of the action-thriller called Apex he's in and seen pictured above giving us something to sink our eyes into (via thx). It's a survival thriller that sees him playing the antgonist to Charlize Theron -- it's from Baltasar Kormákur, the Icelandic director of Everest, forever known as the movie that stupidly cut Jake Gyllenhaal's nude scene. Maybe he'll make it up to us this time?

I'm always keeping those fires burning, I am! Anyway this ism out on Netflix on April 24th -- I hope it's good, I hope it's entertaining, I thinkm we all could use a good entertaining action-thriller starring Charlize and Taron right about now. Right? That sounds good. Oh and Eric Bana is in it too, I guess! I just re-watched Hanna last week and man that awesome movie made me miss Eric Bana. (Remember those wet long-johns? JFC.) Let's hope he's more than just the inciting incident of the Charlize's guy who gets killed to prove what a threat Taron is before Charlize kicks his butt. Anyway here's a trailer:

Theo James Three Times

I am aware that there are quite a few shots of Theo James' beautiful bottom and other various bits that have been making the rounds thanks to his new television series adaptation of The Time-Traveler's Wife, which unlike the Eric Bana movie version seems to actually be taking advantages of the book's conceit that our lead-dude time-travels in his altogether (boo, movie, boo1) -- hell I even tweeted one such photo myself...

That cow gets it pic.twitter.com/QHd7Fw5ZnV

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) May 18, 2022

And I do intend to get to them at some point, but that point just hasn't arrived yet. Even though they're easily google-able those definitely fall under the category of "MNPP won't be complete without them" so I promise you, one of these days. For now...

...  I have this Theo photoshoot (via) to share, and also to tide y'all over for the rest of the day with as well, as I have some screenings to attend to now for the rest of the afternoon. (Fresh Cronenberg here I come!!!!) As ever thank you, Theo.

Brad Pitt Flashback

Okay so this is wildly random but not random by me -- random by somebody else for a change! I am just flowing with somebody else's go. Vanity Fair spoke with Succession actor Brian Cox this week (via) and he brought up Wolfgang Peterson's 2004 film Troy as the only time he's ever chased a role (he played "Agamemnon" in it) which led him to this perfectly-relatable digression:

“I remember at one point being agog at Brad... He’d never been in costumes like that… Brad walked on set and my jaw was down because he was so stunningly beautiful. I’m straight but I thought, ‘Wow, my God! This guy is stunning.’ What chance does one have on the screen against this beautiful, beautiful man?”

Brad Pitt in 2004 was indeed a visual force to be reckoned with. Anyway I was just going to tweet about this while linking back to the Steven Klein photoshoot that Brad did at the time for L'uomo Vogue, only... I couldn't find the shoot posted here on the site? It's got to be buried somewhere -- I refuse to believe I've actually never posted it -- but this presents the opportunity to just post it today, and that's a challenge I will ever accept. Hit the jump for the entire thing...

From Mackay To Munich

Okay okay okay, instead of refreshing Twitter for the 10,000th time today I am gonna try to write a post! Let's see how this goes! Ahem. This is me clearing my throat. Or you know, the throats in my fingers. Because I am typing. (God it's going great already.) George Mackay has had a new film announced! Moving on up from the WWI of his Best-Picture-nom last year 1917 Mackay's now primed to star in the WWII thriller Munich -- and I do hope they change the title because we already have that Munich where Eric Bana cried while orgasming, that's plenty -- for The Crown director Christian Schwochow. They might not change the title though because it's based on a book by bestseller-list-mainstay Robert Harris and they might not want to confuse his fans? 

(thx Mac) Anyway this Munich is about an emergency conference set up in 1938 by the British PM (played by Jeremy Irons) between a British civil servant (Mackay) and a German diplomat (Jannis Niewöhner) who are old friends, seeing if they can avoid The War. (Something tells me it doesn't work!) Even more exciting than those boys are the two female cast-members announced, though -- there's Toni Erdmann legend Sandra Hüller...

... and there's Babylon Berlin actress Liv Lisa Fries, and if you're unaware I am a maaaassive Babylon Berlin fan. She kicks ass. (Gah I hope we get another season soon.) Anyway in summation here are some (occasionally NSFW) photos of actor Jannis Niewöhner, who in case you were unaware you should be rooting for this film to have a gay subplot where Mackay & Niewöhner are actually former lovers who fall back into bed with great sweaty ease, after the jump...

Let's Take Eric Bana For a Spin

.

Whoopsie I shot this load of news on Twitter last night and then totally forgot to do a post about it until just now -- Eric Bana is making a movie! As far as I'm concerned, yes even here in 2020, that is always worth a mention. And I do mean he is "making" the movie -- he's co-writing and co-directing, on top of starring in, a biopic of the famous world champion motorcycle racer Mike "The Bike" Hailwood; specifically the time he returned to racing after a decade off to run the infamously dangerous "Isle of Man race" in 1978. 

And I know I was literally just bitching about hating Ford v Ferrari, another boring racing movie -- racing is my least favorite of all the sports -- but one thing that movie didn't have which this one very well might is Eric Bana wearing an unzipped leather jumpsuit with a bunch of gold chains draped down his bare chest, and that, that, that right there makes all of the difference, my friends. (pics via)

Good Morning, World

.

Did any of you watch the Hanna series that aired on Amazon with Joel Kinnaman filling Eric Bana's daddy long-johns as the lead character's father, and if you did -- did it end properly, wrapped up in one season, or did it end as if there might be more? Because it already feels like Joel's done seven more TV shows since then (fact check: he's only done one) and I don't want to invest in watching a TV series that doesn't have a proper ending and might never, but also I have now seen this scene of Joel Kinnaman lathering his exposed torso in goose fat -- no I do not know the context, nor does it matter -- and I'm curious about watching the show now. As any person would natrually be. Hit the jump for a few more gifs to goose (fat) you unto the good morning...

Richard Madden Fifteen Times

.

I started today with a question about whether I ought to watch a television program just because it has a hot dude on it, so why not end the day with the same question, aimed at a different hot dude -- should I watch Richard Madden on Bodyguard? Unlike the aforementioned Eric Bana I already know for a fact that Dick here does waltz around in boxer-briefs (and less)...

... so Dick's out ahead! 

Anyway these here are a few shots from his recent British GQ photoshoot slash Bond Audition that I somehow didn't get around to posting before - see the ones I did post here. That's what I get for speeding ahead impatiently. You don't mess with Dick, y'all. And now you should hit the jump for the rest...

Good Morning, World

.

(pic via) Alright are any of you creeps watching Dirty John or what? My love for Eric Bana is long and firm but I don't know if I can do Dirty John, so I need one of you creeps to tell me if it's worth the effort. I mean I would already know if the show had Eric Bana hanging out in boxer briefs a bunch (I have feelers for such things) so in the absence of Eric Bana hanging out in his boxer-briefs a bunch... do I care? Tell me to care or not! And good morning!

.

Celebrate the Cate...

.

... here on her 49th birthday by heading over to The Film Experience for this week's "Beauty vs Beast" poll, finally tackling one of my favorites of all her movies, Joe Wright's Hanna (and you best believe that I was shocked to realize I hadn't done this one before)...

.

Joe Wright's Got Rear Window Ethics

.

I have been dying to re-watch Joe Wright's Anna Karenina lately - have you seen it lately? Hard to believe it's already five years old -- only if we mark time by the stratospheric rise of Domhnall Gleeson's career since does it seems possible that five years have passed; I was only learning Domhnall's name when AK came out but now, well, I can almost spell "Domhnall" without looking it up and I can almost say it out loud without having to pause for a second. Almost! 

Anyway that rambling introduction is my way of working to today's news that Joe Wright, fresh off the pretty smart success of his film Darkest Hour - which believe it or not was nominated for several Oscars just a few weeks ago, and even won one! - has found his next project, and honestly it sounds right up my alley. It will be called The Woman in the Window and yadda yadda it is basically Rear Window but starring a lady instead of Jimmy Stewart. But if you insist on filling in the yadda yadda, via DH:

"The story centers on the reclusive Dr. Anna Fox, who spends her days holed in her New York City brownstone drinking wine, binge-watching old films and spying on her neighbors. She eventually witnesses something she shouldn’t while keeping tabs on the seemingly perfect Russell family that lives across the way."

It's based on a book that came out in January by writer AJ Finn (and look at him, that dude is cute, you guys) -- have any of you read it? Is it worth picking up a copy? The thing that stands out to me upon first glance is that this appears to be set in the modern day - Joe Wright hasn't made a modern-day movie since Hanna in 2011; he usually sticks with period or fantastical pieces. I wonder if he'll reunite with his muse Keira Knightley (who's celebrating a birthday today - go wish her a happy one at The Film Experience) - it would be good to see Keira, I feel like it's been awhile, and this certainly sounds like a role she could play. Honestly the story even sounds like it's inviting him to go all stagey like Anna Karenina did, so they'd make nice bookends. Anyway in summation hey remember Eric Bana in Hanna you guys...

Good Morning, World

.

I didn't think I'd find anything I've never posted before when I went looking for pictures of him to post here on his 80th birthday but whaddya know - he apparently made a movie with Elizabeth Taylor? The Only Game in Town came out in 1970 and was the last movie directed by George Stevens (director of, among many films, Giant and A Place in the Sun - clearly he and Liz got along) ...

... weirdly 2007's Lucky You, Curtis Hanson's film with Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore (which I've also never seen), was kind of sort of a remake. I say "weirdly" because Lucky You was Hanson's second-to-last movie... I was going to say last, I thought it was his last, because it's better if we forget Chasing Mavericks happened. Anyway basically this story kills good directors, is my point.

Anyway I'd never even heard of this movie until this morning, but the whole damn thing is up on YouTube - any reason to watch? Any fans? Oh and happy 80, Warren!

.

.

War Party Hardy

.

This is such a strange photo-shoot of Tom Hardy (we've posted a couple shots from it before) that it feels dunderheaded to use it to illustrate an actual news-story - y'all are probably too busy trying to figure out who that actually is under the dragon spooge to listen to the words I am typing. So let's make it clear: it is Tom Hardy! You know him! He wiggled his penis at you that one time? (Actually several times now...

... if we're keeping count, and of course we are keeping count.) Anyway our pal Tom has several exciting projects in the pipeline because he's Tom effing Hardy and everybody wants to work with him, as well they should, but this new one might be the most exciting - he's going to make a movie with director Andrew Dominik! Dominik has previously directed three feature films - in the year 2000 he made Chopper (which gave the world Eric Bana - and speaking of wiggling penises...

... although that one's fake) and in the year 2007 he made The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (a straight up masterpiece) and in the year 2012 he made Killing Them Softly (which is also a straight up masterpiece, although somehow everybody seemed to hate it).

.

.

(Last year Dominik released the Nick Cave doc One More Time With Feeling but I haven't seen it because I don't have a whole lot of interest in Nick Cave. I still should get on that though.) Anyway this new movie will be a Navy SEAL drama called War Party, and Netflix is paying for it, and that's really all we know. That's all we really need to know! Tom Hardy as a SEAL! Directed by Andrew Dominik! Good god, all of it!

Eric Bana Will Murder You

.

Eric Bana is going to play an imprisoned murderer looking for redemption from Desmond Tutu (played not by the real-world Desmond Tutu unfortunately, but rather by Forest Whitaker) in a new film called The Forgiven, which will be directed by The Killing Fields' Roland Joffé. (Bana is replacing Vince Vaughn in the role.)

I was going to say something here about how I don't really understand how Joffé is still getting to make movies - he's had a very long but spotty as fuck career - and how it's that old White Male Privilege thing at work... but then I realized that Eric Bana (who I love, mind you) keeps getting work even though he's been less than successful and, hmm, I wonder what the reason for that is. And yet here I am. So hip hip hooray for White Male Privilege, I guess.

And I can't even write Bana's continued employment off as more justified than Joffé's because of Bana's hotness, because as we discovered just a few weeks ago Roland Joffé was totally hot himself. So I guess it's Hot White Male Privilege then. Hip hip for hot white men! They really don't get the credit they deserve in this world, after all.

.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Chopper (2000)

Chopper: Jimmy, if you keep stabbing me, 

you're going to kill me. 

A very happy 48th birthday to Eric Bana today!

 Do you guys think he'll get THE role at this point?

Or has he had too many chances & not had a home-run? 

Besides this role right here that gave him career, anyway.

Speaking of, this movie needs a blu-ray release dammit!

.

The Naked Man Behind Eric Bana

.

I don't know why Eric Bana felt the need to remind us how unsatisfying the costuming was in Troy - if he and Brad Pitt had been wearing what the statues tell us those dudes were wearing that movie would've made three times Avatar money, straight up. Anyway speaking of disappointment my review of his new flick Special Correspondents with Rickey Gervais is up over at The Film Experience tonight, click to read - I also review the doc Obit, about obituary writers at the New York Times, at the link.

Eric Bana So Special

.

Last night right around the time we shared that image of Eric Bana in Ricky Gervais' upcoming Netflix film Special Correspondents -- about a pair of journalists who fake a war from the comfort of their living-room -- we missed that the trailer had been dropped, so now we will share that. 

.

.

This comes out on April 29th. Your mileage on Gervais probably varies, and varies widely, but I still have some very happy Office fumes that I'm running on all these years later, and Bana's enough for me anyway, so I am there. I mean, that shot of him at the window...

... makes me there. Eric Bana standing around is enough! Oh and Eric Bana coming out of the surf in wet jeans...

... is also enough, especially since it gives us very fine Hanna flashbacks to those soaking wet long-johns of his. But seriously this thing's cast is fantastic -- Kelly MacDonald and Vera Farmiga! Oh and hi Raul Castillo!

What do you think our chances are that him and Bana will reenact that scene from Looking? You know the one. I mean I can't see Raul Castillo without picturing Jonathan Groff ejaculating in his mouth... which he might not like as an actor trying to move on from other projects post-Looking but he needs to embrace that shit because it makes me want to keep him around for a very long time. Ready aim fire, Bana!

Who's Poofing Who

.

Hey guys sorry for the poofing act (as in "Poof I have disappeared!" not "I am a great big poof!") this afternoon -- I know I just got back and promised my presence earlier but then I realized that the Tribeca Film Festival is approaching and I haven't worked on my schedule at all, so I'm currently forcing myself to do that. It's always so gosh-darned complicated! As my olive branch to you there, enjoy that picture of a pleasantly crotch-forward Eric Bana in the film Special Correspondents, which will be playing the fest, and which I have every intention of seeing. Along with quite possibly 35 other movies? I might be overdoing it? Gah, schedules! Gimme that drink, Bana, my head hurts.
.

The Finest Bana

.

There's been a criminal lack of attention given to the fact that Eric Bana is The Finest Hours out this weekend -- if they'd worked on reminding me that there was "New Bana In A Uniform" to be had I'd have been paying way more attention. No all those trailers show is footage of a boat going up a wave - footage that makes me do a double take every time, thinking I've stepped through a time portal and it's the year 2000 and The Perfect Storm is suddenly new again. Nobody needs that! Give me Bana or give me nothing, nothing at all, or Eric Bana wearing nothing at all, that's what I always say.

I Am Link

.

--- Tight By Tycoon - That upcoming Amazon series adapting the F. Scott Fitzgerald story called The Last Tycoon which will star Matt Bomer added some cast over the holidays - Lily Collins is the female lead, while Kelsey Grammer and Rosemarie DeWitt will also co-star. I kind of don't get why Collins keeps getting work, she's proven herself awfully bland so far, but whatever - it's not like I'll be looking at anything but Bomer. And speaking of I've totally whiffed my chance at posting shots of Matt doing a super-hot water-logged shoot for the cover of Men's Fitness - they're already everywhere by now. Oh well I can't do everything. I mean I haven't done Matt himself and that should be my priority.

 .

-- Today's Must Read - The Hollywood Reporter has published a really terrific excerpt from big time Hollywood publicist Dick Guttman's upcoming memoir Starflacker, which is out next week, in which he talks about having basically invented the concept of the "screener" when he teamed up with infamous L.A. cable channel Z Channel to screen movies in conversation (like Francis Ford Coppola's The Conversation, for example) during the run up to the awards way back in the 1970s. It's fascinating!

.

--- Small Screen Sausage Fest - HBO's President of Programming chatted to the Television Critics Association about how he pushed True Detective's Nic Pizzolatto too hard for a fast turnaround on the second season and all that shit everybody hated is his fault, all his fault, how noble of him really... but more importantly he then talked about the inequality in the female to male nudity ratio on his channel. Choice bit:

"I'm often told that relative to other premium services, we don't have enough nudity. But here's the truth. I'm a gay guy. I don't particularly care about female nudity. We have never given a note to say, 'More nudity.'... I was screening recently a show we did. And the actress is running across the screen completely naked. And then the actor runs across the screen completely naked. And yet somehow it's pixelated, his genitalia. And I'm like, wait a second. Why is a man's genitalia so much more 'verboten?'"

 .

--- Girls In Space - We first heard about Alex Garland's next project, an adaptation of Jeff VanderMeer's sci-fi book called Annihilation (first in a trilogy of books), way back in May - at that time the film, which is about a group of female scientists visiting a maddening planet, was flirting with a cast including Natalie Portman, Tilda Swinton, and Julianne Moore. Cut to now and Portman's still around but those other two incredible actresses seem to be gone, replaced by two up and comers - Creed's Tessa Thompson and Jane the Virgin star Gina Rodriguez. On the one hand that's some Grade A diversity there... on the other, sigh, no Tilda.
.

--- Special Friends - The Playlist has got the first few images from Ricky Gervais' upcoming comedy series Special Correspondents for Netflix, which is about a journalist who's down on his luck who begins faking front-line war coverage from his apartment in Queens. It's a great idea, made even better by his co-stars - Eric Bana and Vera Farmiga and Kelly MacDonald and several other hot commodities. They had me at Bana, of course.

.

--- In House - I hope you've been keeping up with the "Year in Review" over at The Film Experience - besides my typically astute observations on the 15 Best Scares of the year there's been other fun stuff too! I'm especially keen on Nat's reminisces about his 15 favorite movie theater experiences of the year because it's a great lens through which to view the 12 months and what mattered in it - the whole theater-going experience is often what you remember more than the films themselves. (Also I was there cackling in bliss at Written on the Wind with Nat.)

.

--- Topless Transylvanian - Y'all know I don't mix with musicals as a general rule but I kind of love that TV has grasped the idea of putting on live shows of movie musicals that the movies would get crucified for trying to remake - like for example a new Rocky Horror Picture Show, which is a thing that is happening thanks to Fox. Anyway several people just got cast including Reeve Carney of Penny Dreadful & hair-ironing fame, and that dude to the ? there is named Staz Nair (okay) and he is playing the titular (emphasis on tit) Rocky. And most importantly here's a collection of images proving he will fill the golden speedo just fine.

.

--- So Long Super - All of the headlines from Joss Whedon's recent Q&A for something or other were Marvel related - that's he's done as death with those damn superheroes, dammit! But mostly I just wanna know what he's working on now, next, for the rest of time, which I guess we'll have to wait to find out. But I haven't watched the entire Q&A so I was glad to see that the video does exist and you can watch it over here. I am sure he has good things to say that don't have anything to do with Thor's hammer.
.