Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

 ... you can learn from:

Living Out Loud (1998)

Judith: It's amazing, isn't it? 

The things you find yourself agreeing to?

I will always grab onto it being Holly Hunter's birthday to give a little love to not just her, one of the greats, but this apocalyptically underappreciated movie. It makes me so mad that nobody has given this movie a proper fancy release since the ancient DVD came out! It's a perfect movie, perfect. And now I'm probably gonna have to haul out my copy of the aforementioned ancient DVD and watch it for the 10,000th time tonight. Perfect. All that and Eddie Cibrian in tighty-whities -- what else do you need??? Perfect.

I Am Link

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--- Queen Of All Media - Occasionally I get sad that I never started watching RuPaul's Drag Race - it's featured two queens from my home-town that I was watching perform on a dinky stage fifteen years ago for one, and for another I do find Ru charmingly clever. So I'm thankful to TFE for transcribing some bits from his recent AMA on Reddit - naturally my favorite bit was the bit about Eddie Cibrian in his cut-off jean-shorts.

--- More Roars - The dude who wrote the first Godzilla movie rode into town at just the right giant monster loving moment (I've been clamoring for such a moment ever since The Host) - he's just been signed to write the sequel, and he's also writing that King Kong prequel that Tom Hiddleston is starring in.

--- Feeling Super - It seems that Deadpool footage we saw online several weeks back was a testing of the waters, and they found the waters fine - the X-Men spinoff movie's been greenlighted for a Winter 2016 release and yes, it appears it will be Ryan Reynolds slipping into another latex bodysuit. Maybe this time they'll use his actual real beautiful muscles and not the CG bullshit they pulled on us with The Green Lantern. In other superhero movie news, the Fantastic Four reboot has been moved into August 2015, aka the date that was reserved for Michael Fassbender's Assassin's Creed film - Creed hasn't even started filming yet so this was probably a wise move.

--- Well Endowed - In general I don't really care enough about the news that Seth Rogen is teaming up with Anchorman director Adam McKay to make a movie, but I did get a chuckle out of Roger's statement: 

"Every 2,000 years, the planets of our galaxy align in a perfect line that funnels the cosmic energies of the universe to flow into one perfect comedic collaboration. The time is now. This is that project. Nothing will ever be the same. McKay and Schwartz are real smart, well-endowed guys, and we couldn't be more excited to be working with them."

--- Female Filler - I know the general sentiment about Cody Horn in the first Magic Mike can be described best with a bloodcurdling shriek, but honestly I'd take ten of her affect-less performances over Jada Pinkett Smith shrilling around with her horrible shrew self. Also on-board in the lady department is Andie MacDowell, who's proven herself useless time and again in anything not named Groundhog Day. I know there's no reason for Olivia Munn to come back but man, she was great in the first movie.

--- Mo Mackie - Two days ago we told you about Scoot McNairy joining David Gordon Green's new film - well here's word that another fine actor is attached: Anthony Mackie will co-star in Our Brand is Crisis, with McNairy and Billy Bob Thornton and Sandra Bullock and so on. S'nice, that DGG has become so popular with good actors, isn't it?

--- Golden Grab - I loved Once and I loved Begin Again but I don't know if I can move along to director John Carney's next musical, which is apparently based on music from Bono and The Edge from U2. Has Bono won an Oscar yet? Clearly he's gunning for one, and I can't support that. Still the movie is going to star the adorable Chris-Pratt-Jr.-ish Jack Reynor (they really have got to play brothers some time) and Hunnam-licker slash Littlefinger Aiden Gillen, so...

--- Halftime Heroes - Ang Lee has lined up his next movie, which is an adaptation of the book Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk, which apparently mixes up two of my favorite fetishes - army uniforms and football uniforms. Sounds like a winner! Give it all the Oscars! Seriously though, has anybody read the book? I saw it described as satire somewhere (not the link I'm offering).

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Who Wore It Best?

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Apropos of nothing (okay okay apropos of a dream I had 

about my Junior High gym teacher last night)...

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poll by twiigs.com

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Editing Eddie Cibrian

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It's become nigh impossible to ogle one of my faves - that understandably possessive woman of his manages to jam herself into every single picture. I suppose with his history her grabbiness makes sense - I'm sure the body-language experts at the tabloids have a field day with these two - but she's really insidious, you guys. If they're sitting on a couch beside each other...

... her hand finds its way to his crotch. 

Or its her feet worming in...

It's always something!
Just let us enjoy Eddie, woman!

Anyway ignoring her as best as we can, I stumbled upon a few new-to-my-eyes shots of them making their paparazzi rounds at the beach and not to be entirely vulgar (hahahahahahahaha right) but um, we now know the cut of Eddie Cibrian's jib, as it were.

(The jib is his penis.)
Hit the jump for a couple more pics...

Good Morning, Other Scott From Felicity

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Now here's one we don't get to see displaying his wares nearly often enough - Scott Foley stripped down for that same brand that got Eddie Cibrian to do the same a couple of years ago... not that it's hard to get Eddie Cibrian to strip down. In fact this looks like the same boring beige hotel room. Hey maybe they shot them both at the same time and then Eddie Cibrian and Scott Foley had sex. It's a nice pretend thought, anyway. As for Foley, I'm pretty sure he's a never nude? Has he ever shown his bum? What a tease. He obviously has no reason to be shy. Anyway if you want a hysterical description of Scott Foley I recommend reading Michael K's take on him over at DListed yesterday, it's perfection. "Two golden retrievers named Chip and Buddy" = amazing. Alright so hit the jump for the rest...

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With String

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(pic via) When making your plans this weekend, you should probably keep in mind the following news via Rich Juwiziak's chat with Caity Weaver at Gawker on the new film The Best Man Holiday:

"One more thing about the sexual content: In the scene that cut back between the women having their pajama night and the men having theirs (gender segregation—another way to be straight?) Nia Long's abomination of a man (the white guy, Eddie Cibrian) is wearing these scrubs and his dick is just massive. Like, the size of a small hot air balloon on screen. His package filled my eyes. And the immediate next scene is the women rhapsodizing 'big black dick.'"

Everything else they have to say on the movie makes it sound godawful, but there's that! There is that. Oh and when I looked up the film I also found this picture of Morris Chestnut from it, so, you know, ka-ching.

Eddie Cibrian Nine Times

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(via; click to embiggen)

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Good Morning, World

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Some new pictures from that ad campaign Eddie Cibrian's been doing showed up this week, and they finally show off a little bum. A hint. Not enough bum, but some. Some bum! Some Cibrian bum is better than no Cibrian bum. Rules to live by. See more after the jump.

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Which Is Hotter?

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Charlton Heston as Moses in The Ten Commandments,

or Billy Campbell as Moses in In The Beginning?

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poll by twiigs.com

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Did y'all hear the news that Steven Spielberg's planning on making a movie about Moses' life? The whole thing of course, from the basket floating down the river to the old man wandering in the desert, all that jazz. Says DH:

"The tone is expected to be less Cecile B. De Mille and more Braveheart with Moses portrayed as one of history's great warriors. It will also be filmed with a gritty and realistic tone akin to Spielberg's own Saving Private Ryan."

Mkay. With this and Darren Aronofsky's Noah epic I guess the time has come for Bible stories. I want Sodom and Gomorrah: The Movie then! Anyway when I saw this news I figured I'd look up and see what actors have played Moses in the past that are named something other than Charlton Heston and that's how I stumbled upon the fact that beautiful Billy Campbell (you'll want to click that link) played him in this 2000 TV movie which I don't remember existing. Apparently neither does the world because I could find literally zero point zero zero pictures of him in the role online! WTF, internet? Fail. Somebody did upload the entire movie onto YouTube though (I don't know), so I dutifully scanned through it until I found him. But you wanna know what else I discovered while dutifully scanning through it?

Mmhmm. Eddie Cibrian plays some kind of slave boy and it appears as if he sexes his way to the top of the slave ladder. Okay again I was only fast-forwarding through it and I wasn't listening to the dialogue at all, so this is probably an entirely skewed version of the events, but hey, it's what we got. I mean come on. Everybody's eyeing Eddie like he's a sizzling slab of beef and they haven't eaten in a month.

Point being, religion ain't just bad stuff! It's also about hot guys spending all their time together without anything on under their robes. Never forget that.

See several more gifs after the jump. Love the shot of him 

checking out his spectacular ass in his stylin' new outfit.

The Full Blessings of the Cibrian Backside

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(click to embiggen) Since I've been pretty good about ignoring all the gross gossip-rag stuff that's surrounded Eddie Cibrian the past couple of years - god he and whatsherface and the other whatserface are too boring to care about - I still find myself able to appreciate his best side easily. Sans baggage! Thanks goodness for that. The world's a little bit better with all that junk up in there to appreciate openly, enthusiastically, without reservation. (via)

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Good Morning, Tease

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Morning pictures are piling up! I'd already planned to post the pictures I posted of furry Mads yesterday so these pictures of Eddie lounging around had to wait until today. These pictures make me mad anyway, they're way too teasingly covered up.

Move your damn hands, man! There are a lot more at JJ but they're all the same, and not a hint of his ass anywhere to be seen. When I ask for Eddie Cibiran I've got one thing on my mind, people! God, it's not rocket science. There's a behind-the-scenes video at Towleroad as well if you wanna see him in motion.

Good Morning, Tuesday

I spent a hefty chunk of this weekend wishing I were frolicking about on a beach somewhere. I'm not a beach person so much but splashing about in some waves always sounds like a decent enough way to spend a few hours by the time July hits and the cement begins steaming here in NYC. Alas, besides the spritz of my showerhead I went completely undunked this weekend. But let's pretend we got our surf on by looking at Kellan Lutz and Eddie Cibrian and Zac Efron doing just that as we adjust our eyes and mindset to the work-week here this morning, eh? Eh.

Those shots of Zac and his High School Musical co-star Ashley Tisdale are just so unposed and natural! However did that camera-man find them there?

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Good Morning, World

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And a happy birthday to Eddie Cibrian today. Yeah yeah, he's a home-wrecking slut, blah blah blah. I'm not and never have been interested in his personality.

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How Old Is Eddie Cibrian Again?

Cuz he does not age. Ass.

I'm not calling him an ass.
I'm just calling attention to his ass.
Ass. (via)
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Eddie Cibrian And A Motorcycle

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True story: my grandfather was a hardcore biker dude back in the Sixties. His nickname was Bear. I'm just throwing that out there, Eddie Cibrian. In case you want somebody to ride with. With, on... let's not quibble over semantics. (more pics at SL)
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Happy Birthday, Eddie Cibrian

I trust you're finding some way to relax... let off some steam... and to keep yourself fit today, Mr. Cibrian. Seems to be your m.o. anyway... and thank goodness for that...

I know the past hour or so that I've spent looking up pictures of you has soothed my weariness, so maybe you just need to look in the mirror and it's all good...
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