Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

No Country For Old Men (2007)

Ed Tom Bell: I was sheriff of this county when I was twenty-five years old. Hard to believe. My grandfather was a lawman; father too. Me and him was sheriffs at the same time; him up in Plano and me out here. I think he's pretty proud of that. I know I was. Some of the old time sheriffs never even wore a gun. A lotta folks find that hard to believe. Jim Scarborough'd never carried one; that's the younger Jim. Gaston Boykins wouldn't wear one up in Comanche County. I always liked to hear about the oldtimers. Never missed a chance to do so. You can't help but compare yourself against the oldtimers. Can't help but wonder how they would have operated these times. There was this boy I sent to the 'lectric chair at Huntsville Hill here a while back. My arrest and my testimony. He killt a fourteen-year-old girl. Papers said it was a crime of passion but he told me there wasn't any passion to it. Told me that he'd been planning to kill somebody for about as long as he could remember. Said that if they turned him out he'd do it again. Said he knew he was going to hell. "Be there in about fifteen minutes". I don't know what to make of that. I sure don't. The crime you see now, it's hard to even take its measure. It's not that I'm afraid of it. I always knew you had to be willing to die to even do this job. But, I don't want to push my chips forward and go out and meet something I don't understand. A man would have to put his soul at hazard. He'd have to say, "O.K., I'll be part of this world."

A wise movie knows that you give Tommy Lee Jones a monologue to deliver and then you just sit back and listen to Tommy Lee Jones deliver it, and No Country For Old Men is a wise movie, perhaps the wisest, because it does this twice -- at start and at finish. I was torn between which speech to quote honestly -- I do love his retelling of his dreams that closes the film -- but the above one, from the film's opening, just feels a little too meaningful to this moment in time not to highlight it here on the day that Criterion has blessed us with the Oscar-winner on 4K blu. 

Anyway I do remain of the mind that Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood is the number one movie of 2007, but this masterpiece from the Coens' is just a trifle behind it in my humble -- and I was a bit shocked when I looked back at my 2007 Top Ten list because NCFOM isn't on it at all! (Funny sidenote: 2007 is the first time I tried posting a Top 10 and other assorted year-end awards and it's amusing, in a semi-mortifying way, to look back at that link to see the state of my still relatively early blogging efforts. Phew. We've come a long way baby.) Then I noticed that I do give a note there why it's not included -- I wanted to see it a second time before deciding where I came down on it. Well I've seen it ten more times by now and baby, it's second. Which one tops for you?

online polls

David Corenswet Eight Times

To be honest I didn't even recognize Hollywood actor David Corenswet at first glance in these photos (via) -- the long hair really changes him! Not in a bad way (obviously, he's gorgeous) but the whole clean-cut thing he had been rocking for that midcentury period show has gone the way of the mid-90s in these photos. As goes the world. Henry Cavill, who Corenswet reminds me of, also went through a grunge-period, but Corenswet pulls it off better I think? Should I make that a poll? I should make that a poll.

find bike trails

Anyway, insanely, David doesn't have  much lined-up according to his IMDb page -- he's playing a lifeguard in some kid's movie (let's hope it involves him running in a speedo in slow-motion, at least) and he's playing Cassio in "a futuristic adaptation" of Othello that was executive-produced by our beloved Beth Grant! (It was also written by Grant's daughter, actress Mary Chieffo). I'm assuming he's got things lined up that just have been delayed due to the pandemic -- he certainly should, anyway. Get on this man, Hollywood! Or I'll get on him first! Hit the jump for the rest of this shoot...

Pics of the Day

Earlier today Jennifer Tilly shared this set photo from the filming of the 2004 classic Seed of Chucky on her Insta, saying, "I miss Don Mancini’s hands on directing style. Also with producer Guy Louthan. (It takes a village)." Which is a good reminder that contrary to what I just said in my previous post, about how you should listen to me because I know things, that I actually know nothing, and here's why -- I only found out Chucky creator Don Mancini was 1) gay and 2) hot within the past couple of years. How is that even possible? Shame on me, calling myself a gay horror aficionado. In related news I just got a super deal on the boxed-set of Chucky movies a couple of weeks ago and I've been contemplating doing a big binge. I'm pretty sure I've seen them all before but what better time than the present for killer dolls and Beth Grant getting beaten to death with a ruler and Jennifer Tilly and John Waters getting acid poured on his head and...

TBT 1988 TOO SKINNY FOR CHIPPENDALES pic.twitter.com/EoEwzcidhq

— Don Mancini (@RealDonMancini) April 30, 2020

Pimps Don't Commit Suicide

In the run-up to today's drop of Arrow's fancy schmancy blu-ray of Richard Kelly's mucho maligned 2006 flick Southland Tales -- which includes the also mucho maligned longer "Cannes Cut" of the film -- there have been approximately eleventy billion interviews with Kelly talking about the movie (this has been compounded by the 20th anniversary of Donnie Darko). Far more than I could ever begin to link to. Just google his name, they'll all come up, I promise. And I even watched the "Cannes Cut" a few weeks ago hoping I'd have something to say about the movie here. But... this movie, man. This movie still defeats my ability to say anything coherent about it. I both hate it and love it in equal measure -- it confounds me. I thought it might be better, 15 years on, but...

I AM GOING IN
WISH ME LUCK pic.twitter.com/qaCHHTdBnz

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) December 27, 2020

... no. Nope. Nada. I still just kind of sit there dazed by the thing. (By the way that tweet above, if you click over to Twitter, will give you a Twitter thread from December when I re-watched all three of Richard Kelly's movies -- Tales, Darko, and The Box -- within a 24-hour span.) I feel like I could make two columns, a Love and a Hate column, and diagram Southland that way, and maybe that flatness might approach the actual way Southland makes me feel, but then I'd be no better than the Jim Cunninghams & Kitty Farmers of the world, would I?

I love that Kelly got to make Southland Tales more than I actually love the experience of sitting through it -- it's always inspirational when batshit of its magnitude gets funded. I just don't think Southland, and what it is about, speaks to me like Darko did and does and forever will -- even The Box on this re-watch felt like it had more to tell me than Tales does. But if Kelly ever does get to make the sequel like he keeps saying he wants to in all of these interviews (he will not) I will be there opening night, that I promise.

I Am Link

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--- Hero Worship - Now that he's Batman (try hearing that phrase in your head in anything but Christian Bale's rasp, I dare you) Robert Pattinson is abandoning the art-house movies that made us respect him, the sellout - he's dropped out of Joanna Hogg's sequel to The Souvenir, which is apparently a thing that's happening? (I'm just teasing Rob, by the way, save your hate mail.) On the Souvenir tip though I saw the film last week and thought it was fine but I don't really entirely get the rapturous responses it got earlier this year. It's certainly aware of its privilege (the main character expresses some guilt) but that didn't make the privilege of its world feel any less exhausting to maneuver as a viewer.

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--- My Commitment - This interview is a real long one so you'll have to set aside some time for it but if you haven't yet read Collider's long chat with our beloved character actress and saint Beth Grant then I recommend you do - give or take a couple of big star names its interesting folks from below the title like this who have quirks and are individuals that I'd much rather read pieces like this devoted to. Beth has stories and has lived and is a hoot.

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--- Jude Island - Jude Law is heading back to TV again, this time with nary a Popemobile in sight, to make The Third Way for HBO (alongside ITV in the UK) -- it's a six-part miniseries (produced by the guy who made the original Utopia) that sounds kind of like The Island of Dr. Moreau or maybe The Wicker Man, something like that, with an island and a bunch of isolated weirdos and hallucinations. Basically me on vacation. Speaking of vacations Jude was recently on his honeymoon (congrats!) in Sardinia and JJ got a bunch of pictures of him looking mighty fine a la that shot to the right, see them here. (Thx Mac)

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--- More Scary - When we listed our most anticipated movies of the remainder of 2019 one of the runners-up was the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark film that Trollhunter director André Øvredal has coming out in August -- well Rue Morgue sat down with Andre to chat about his next much anticipated by me flick, which is an adaptation of Stephen King's short story The Long Walk, read that chat here. TLW is kind of a teenaged They Shoot Horses Don't They, or maybe Forrest Gump meets Battle Royale. Okay I'm just saying movie titles now. You get the idea.

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--- Ears and Ears - I am a couple of episodes behind on Years and Years but Russell Tovey's already gone and signed on for another television miniseries in his homeland -- this one's called Flesh and Blood and it's another tale of a large sprawling family in which he's a sibling, this time about a trio whose old-age mum (played by Imelda Staunton) gets romanced by a dude (Stephen Rea) they don't trust. 

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--- Gesserit Who - Denis Villeneuve is currently shooting his Dune movie with Timothee Chalamet & Co -- see some pictures we shared a couple of weeks back right here if you missed 'em -- and that's probably going to be going on for awhile, and now an even longer while because he's also making a Dune TV series now too. It'll be about the Bene Gesserit, the female religious order of Frank Herbert's stories who predict all sorts of spicy shenanigans with their witchery. In the movie Rebecca Ferguson is playing Lady Jessica who's a part of the order, so perhaps she'll be a part of the television show too; Villenueve is only set to direct the pilot.

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--- Man o' Paradise - Josh Hartnett, so very good on Penny Dreadful, is returning to TV for a series called Paradise Lost, which apparently has nothing whatsoever to do with the Milton book -- it's about a married couple (Hartnett alongside Bridget Regan from Jane the Virgin) who return to the husband's Mississippi hometown only to "uncover shameful secrets that irrevocably change the lives of everyone involved." That is vague enough a description that I have absolutely no idea what this show might be, except they also call it a "Southern Gothic mystery" which helps a little. Barbara Hershey and Nick Nolte are also set to co-star. 

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--- Cue the Keymaster - It's become completely impossible to keep straight what's happening with the Ghostbusters franchise - I think where we stand is Jason Reitman is making a direct sequel to his father's films with all the original 'Busters in tow? Anyway Sigourney Weaver has let slip that she's returning for the movie as good ol' dog-lady Dana Barrett once more, so whatever it is I am there.

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Gay Just Got Like, Way Gayer

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A big year for Gay Pride (Stonewall is celebrating its 50th anniversary at the end of June) just got even bigger for a certain subset of us gays and likeminded camp movie lovers -- Shout Factory! is releasing four particular glittery extravaganzas onto blu-ray for their very first time including yes indeed the tremendous and psychotic Village People musical Can't Stop the Music, which has been basically out of print for decades. This is a real thrill -- the film's been tough to see for far too long. I'd seen shitty quality copies previously, but then I got to see it in the theater a few years back and holy hell you have to see this thing cleaned up, it's something. SO MUCH SOMETHINGS. 

The other three films they're dropping are the terrific 1995 rom-com Jeffrey with Steven Weber and Michael T. Weiss (and a fabulous cameo from Sigourney Weaver) and the drag-queen comedy To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar, also from 1995 (Beth Grant forever!), and then there's Boom!, the explosively hilariously awful Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton film from 1968 that is truly a camp spectacle to behold.

That and Wong Foo hit first on May 28th, while the other two hit June 11th. While I go see if anybody has any hot pants I can borrow, y'all should hit the jump to see all of the special features included on these discs...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Donnie Darko (2001)

Rose Darko: Kitty, do you even know 

who Graham Greene is? 

Kitty Farmer: I think we've all seen Bonanza. 

A very happy birthday to the divine Beth Grant today!

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar (1995) 

Noxeema: When a straight man puts on a dress 

and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. 

When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body 

and has a little operation he is a Transsexual. 

Chi-Chi: I know that. 

Noxeema: When a gay man has way too much fashion sense 

for one gender he is a drag queen. 

Vida: Thank you. 

Noxeema: And when a tired little Latin boy

puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress! 

Wong Foo was released on September 8th, 1995, twenty years ago today. I was never the hugest fan of this movie (it's no Priscilla Queen of the Desert that's for sure) but from what I recall (I haven't seen it in a very long time) its heart was in the right place and there are good things in it... things like Beth Grant in an electric green feather boa, for example.

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Always that.

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I Am Link

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--- Dead Meat - On Friday we told you about cute-guy Rob Kazinsky's new television show The Frankenstein Code getting picked up; Rob's know via True Blood and Pacific Rim, to us. (He was also in this weekend's flop Hot Pursuit but let's leave that dog where it lays.) Well Rob's Facebook page has already uploaded the first few pictures from the show; that one to the right I think is just the generic "This is Rob Kazinsky" picture (meaning I don't think that's what Frankenstein will look like) but I like it, it being "his arms," so I'll post it.

---  Feminine Wilds - I ate an early lunch today so I can't say I am saving this article at Time from Vagina Monologues author Eve Ensler calling Mad Max Fury Road "a feminist action movie" to read over lunch like I usually do with these things, but I will read it when I have a minute today for sure. You might remember we'd heard awhile back that Ensler had been on the film's set to help set it apart, female-wise. Just 4 days! (thanks Mac)

--- Getting Revenge - A couple of super unrelated Stephen King tid-bits from the weekend - he and his son author Joe Hill wrote a short story together called "In the Tall Grass" (have you read it? I have not but it's apparently available as an e-book) and it's getting turned into a movie by Splice (and Hannibal!) director Vincenzo Natali. It's about a monster, in the grass, which is tall, or something. Second tid-bit: apparently Stephen King and I share a love of the TV soap Revenge, which just ended its 4-year run last night, and Yahoo published some of his emails to their writer about the show, and they made me laugh. Lots of gay! I'm gonna miss that dumb show. Also I'm gonna miss Nick Wechsler's hot short ass (or is that short hot ass) seen to the right in a new picture.

--- Men vs Machina - And add this one to the list of "things to do when I have a minute" -- the directors Edgar Wright and Alex Garland sat down and chatted about Garland's new sci-fi hit Ex Machina, and HitFix recorded the whole damn thing. It's almost half an hour long! That sounds right up my geeky alley. (thanks Mac)

--- The Long Cast - I've kind of given up on keeping up with James Franco's personal projects - there have been too many of middling quality to stay on top of. However reading yesterday that both Josh Hartnett and Ashton Kutcher have joined the cast of his latest one - an adaptation of William Gay's "southern Gothic" novel The Long Home also starring Josh Hutcherson - clearly grabbed my attention. Courtney Love is also listed on IMDb and I'm pretty sure Beth Grant's talked online about being in this movie. That's a lot of cast. Any of you read the book? 

--- Lake of Blood - Our pal Stacie Ponder took on one of our series last week over at Final Girl, using "Who Wore It Best?" to give love to one of our favorite horror movies and one of her favorite video-games. Hooray girls n' gore!

--- Professor Pate - I knew if I didn't post this picture the minute I saw it over the weekend it'd already be everywhere and I probably wouldn't bother, but what the hey maybe one of you missed it - James McAvoy finally shaved his head for the new X-Men movie and happily he's got a really nice skull under there. What it called attention to for me is his nose - James McAvoy's got a gorgeous nose and I don't think I'd noticed it before this picture. His gigantic eyes usually steal the thunder.

--- Stepping Back to Ex Machina for a minute - no I still haven't reviewed it, shame on me, but I think you ought to read my pal Sean's thoughts on the film that he posted over at his site; he's extremely critical of the film and made me think back on it in ways I hadn't while watching it, and now I almost feel as if I should see it again and consider it thru his insights.

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13 Phones of Halloween #10

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For a movie set in the 1980s phones actually don't show up in Donnie Darko - which came out on this day 13 years ago! - very much. Not until the end, where they play a vital role, thanks to a pair of missed connections.

Donnie's therapist Dr. Thurman (Katharine Ross) tries to contact his mother Rose (Mary McDonnell), saying its urgent, immediately following a disturbing hypno-session with Donnie...

... (no it's not the one where he molests himself in front of her but you knew I'd have to get that gif in here somehow)... but Rose isn't in town, she had to go to Los Angeles with Sparkle Motion for the championships, lest someone doubt her commitment.

One scene later we see Rose trying to get a hold of Donnie at home from the airport in Los Angeles. She leaves her flight information on the machine, which Donnie doesn't notice since he's all up on Gretchen at the moment...

I could go on about how all of these missed connections are threaded together Fate-wise since Donnie Darko's all about the choices each and every character makes choosing that one single path to their destination, to Rose and Samantha being on the plane...

... in the false dimension where the engine falls off...

... and kills Donnie in the real dimension, all that jazz, but really I just wanna single out Mary McDonnell's performance on that fateful missed phone call...

... because as ever she's a phenomenal actress and she deserves credit whenever you can toss it her way. What she does with the role of Rose is tremendous and the film wouldn't work if she weren't there putting all her brittle longing and heart into it. Cheers to Rose, man. What a nice lady.

PS Where the hell are you, Richard Kelly?

Good Morning, World

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Judging by the fact that The Mindy Project seems to get Chris Messina half-naked, whether it be in a towel or even better a speedo, often, and also the fact that Beth Grant is on the show, I feel as if I would like The Mindy Project. Do you guys think I would like it? I am thinking I really need a funny show to watch, everything I watch is so serious and  dire all the time. I tried to watch Anna Faris' sitcom but as I've mentioned the constant laugh track ate my brains right through my face. 

What funny shows are you guys watching that you can recommend to me? Keep in mind that I'm a picky asshole, so don't go trying to get me to watch something like The Big Bang Theory - the scattered snippets of that show that I've seen are amongst the lowest points, the darkest periods, of my entire life.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

No Country For Old Men (2007)

Carla Jean's Mother: It's not often

you see a Mexican in a suit. 

Happy birthday, Beth Grant!

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Quote of the Day

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HuffPo caught up with our favorite character actress of all-time Beth Grant today (thanks to another wonderful actress Melanie Lynskey, who gave us the heads-up on Twitter) and the interview's a riot, but of course it is, she's Beth effing Grant. I wasn't sure what part to quote - her bit about doing her own make-up for the red carpet events she got to go to for The Artist last year is hysterical - but ultimately, this part where she's talking about what jobs she will and won't do stood out:

"I think most character people that you talk to, it's like whatever they offer us we are thrilled to do. I won't do anything that's immoral or illicit. I did turn down eating a dead body once."

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Hannibal Husbandry

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Real-life awesome couple Laurence Fishburne and Gina Torres are teaming up to play husband and wife on Bryan Fuller's Hannibal! Torres was on Pushing Daisies so she and Bryan have worked together before; she's also a Joss Whedon staple, having lit up Firefly and Angel. (I was hoping she'd be at the Firefly panel at Comic Con this past Saturday actually, but I guess I'll accept this as a totally kick-ass substitute for that.)

And as long as we're talking Fuller-things, look at this new picture from Mockingbird Lane with Beth Grant goodness therein! YES.

The Moment I Fell For... Beth Grant

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"Dr. Cole, not only am I a teacher, but I am also a parent of a Middlesex child. Therefore, I am the only person here who transcends the parent-teacher bridge."

I'd enjoyed Beth's work before Donnie Darko of course - her death scene in Child's Play 2, her death scene in Speed, her drag queen makeover in To Wong Foo - but it was Miss Kitty Farmer who took her from the realm of "Hey it's that quirky character actress that I like" to "Oh my god it's that quirky character actress that I'll go out of my way to see in anything even if it's only a ten second role."

The go-to choice for giving Kitty love is always when she doubts Rose's commitment to Sparkle Motion but that scene's late in the film and it was well before that that I knew I was head over heels. It's such a perfect union of actress and character - every line, every movement, she nails. Astonishingly vivid and rich and funny work from one of our finest ladies working. Bless her for making the movies a better place. Happy birthday, Beth!
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The Stellar Taste of James Franco

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You might maybe recall that James Franco is currently adapting William Faulkner's book As I Lay Dying into movie-form. We already knew it is set to star Franco himself alongside Danny McBride, Logan Marshall Green, and others... well now there's word that our beloved character actress to end all character actresses Beth Grant has joined the cast! I've never read AILD so I couldn't even begin to tell you what role she could be playing; hopefully she's the one that stumbles upon Franco and Green having torrid relations on the lanai. That's what Faulkner wrote about, right?

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All Over Willadean

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I'm just going to post that poster there and then let the Facebook page for the movie Blues for Willadean speak for itself. 

"Blues for Willadean explores the hidden emotions, shame, and secrecy of battered women, while also offering hope, healing and truth. A delicate blend of frightened humor and pain, it delves right into the heart of abuse from all sides – the abuser, the abused, and the powerless bystander. It is the story of Willadean Winkler (Beth Grant), the wife of a blue collar truck driver, as she attempts to escape the abusive prison he has built for her. With the help of her only friend, LaSonia (Octavia Spencer), who lives in the trailer next door and the musical encouragement of the specter of a mystical Blues Singer, Willadean fights to break the cycle of the sick dance between the abuser and the abused.

... Blues for Willadean is the film adaptation of Del Shores’ 2003 play “The Trials and Tribulations of a Trailer Trash Housewife."

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And yes, it also has Dale Dickey. Give it to me now.

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Strip Teased

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I have told y'all about MNPP friend Tom Blunt's spectacular spectacular variety slash cinema show "Meet the Lady" before - thanks to him I've gotten to sit in a room and listen to MNPP heroines like Beth Grant (see here), Louise Lasser, and several of the lovely ladies of Twin Peaks (Log Lady holla!) talk about their careers and assorted ephemera of note in the past, and it's been a blast each and every single go of it.

Which one of these is not like the others?

Well it's time for another show and if you're in New York this week you really would be a fool - a charlatan even! - to miss it. He'll be taking on the topic of "Burlesque" in the movies - no, not specifically the Christina Aguilera & Cher movie (although I assume that will be mentioned); rather the whole gosh-darned cinematic highlights slash history of it. There will be interviews - including, whaddya know, a phone chat with repeat Lady and all-around awesomeness Beth Grant! - and film clips and live performances, oh my. Nipples will surely be tassled and bumps will surely be grinded but good.

It's at the 92YTribeca, tickets are a dirrrrt cheap 12 bucks (seems I caught some Aguilera there for a second), and there will be an after-party to boot! From what I can tell there are still tickets, so you'd be a fool - a charlatan even! - not to snap up your own, says me. It really is a great evening every time and this promises to be the biggest one yet! Take it from Babs!

The Munsters Neighborhood Must Watch

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I can't believe it's taken me all day to get around to this news - didja y'all hear who got cast in Bryan Fuller's reboot of The Munsters called Mockingbird Lane over the weekend? I suppose that picture up top's giving away the game. That's right, MNPP fave Cheyenne Jackson will play the leader of lil' Eddie's scout troop, Scout Master Steve. Let's hope they costume him in the shortest Scout Master shorts they can muster - we know Chey's more than got the gams for it.

And MNPP fave Beth Grant is adding another nosy busybody neighbor to her illustrious resume chock filled with 'em - she's joining the cast as "Maryanne, a fortysomething woman who uses a wheelchair and is very suspicious of her creepy new neighbors." Now quick close your eyes and tell me that you can't immediately see Beth's patented and hysterical Suspicious Glare staring back at you. Beth's memorably worked for Bryan before, of course - who could forget Marianne Marie Beattle, the Buffalo-based muffin-maker she played on both Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies?