A Head Full of Harbour

I didn't pay a ton of attention to the whole "David Harbour is sex addict" thing that came out recently thanks to his ex Lily Allen writing an album about him being shitty because that sort of gossip always feels invasive and shitty in itself to me -- I am not their friend, I don't need to be involved in their dirty laundry. When fans get all worked up about somebody cheating on their partner, if everybody involved are adults, I just don't think it's my business. Anyway that whole mess seemed like it fell into that camp so I didn't pay attention to it, so if I missed a legitimate reason that David Harbour got canceled feel free to yell at me. All I allowed myself to take from it is a few images of David Harbour being a freak and I was happy with those. Because hot. 

Anyway none of that is why we're here -- we're here because Mr. Harbour has booked a new movie which sounds hella rad on paper. It's an adaptation of Paul Tremblay's book A Head Full of Ghosts and it will co-star scream queen Rebecca Hall and it will be directed by Veronika Franz and Severin Fial, the filmmakers behind the original Goodnight Mommy and The Lodge, both of which rock. Anybody read the book? I have not but it's about the parents of a teen girl whose descent into schizophrenia is documented by an exploitative reality show, and the aftermath fifteen years later of that. I don't know who's playing who (if Harbour and Hall are the parents or if they play people in the flash-forward portion) but that sounds like a killer on-point concept for a movie, and I generally trust Rebecca Hall's instincts when it comes to horror -- she has done very well for herself in the genre. 

On that note: anybody watching The Beauty? I am and I was sort of enjoying it at first but I find myself increasingly annoyed by the idea that there could be a hotter version of Rebecca Hall that's not Rebecca Hall. I call bullshit! Also Ashton Kutcher sucks and annoys me, and I find the entire Anthony Ramos / Jeremy Pope storyline increasingly dumb as well. I like all the hot naked guys though (hello Isaac Cole Powell rolling around naked and wet on top of Evan Peters) so obviously I'll keep watching.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Jobs (2013)

Steve Jobs: [narrating] When you grow up, you tend to get told the world is the way that it is, and your life is just to live your life inside the world and try not to bash into the walls too much. But that's a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact. And that is that everything around you that you call life, was made up by people that are no smarter than you. And you can change it. You can influence it. You can build your own things that other people can use. To shake off this erroneous notion that life is just there, and you're just gonna live in it, versus embrace it. Change it, improve it. Make your mark upon it. And once you learn that, you'll never be the same again. 

I'm seeing Danny Boyle's Steve Jobs with Michael Fassbender and Kate Winslet tomorrow at the New York Film Festival, so it seems an apt time to light a candle for Ashton Kutcher's strangled attempt at not playing a buffoon. You were just a candle in the wind, Kutch.

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I Am Link

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--- Dead Meat - On Friday we told you about cute-guy Rob Kazinsky's new television show The Frankenstein Code getting picked up; Rob's know via True Blood and Pacific Rim, to us. (He was also in this weekend's flop Hot Pursuit but let's leave that dog where it lays.) Well Rob's Facebook page has already uploaded the first few pictures from the show; that one to the right I think is just the generic "This is Rob Kazinsky" picture (meaning I don't think that's what Frankenstein will look like) but I like it, it being "his arms," so I'll post it.

---  Feminine Wilds - I ate an early lunch today so I can't say I am saving this article at Time from Vagina Monologues author Eve Ensler calling Mad Max Fury Road "a feminist action movie" to read over lunch like I usually do with these things, but I will read it when I have a minute today for sure. You might remember we'd heard awhile back that Ensler had been on the film's set to help set it apart, female-wise. Just 4 days! (thanks Mac)

--- Getting Revenge - A couple of super unrelated Stephen King tid-bits from the weekend - he and his son author Joe Hill wrote a short story together called "In the Tall Grass" (have you read it? I have not but it's apparently available as an e-book) and it's getting turned into a movie by Splice (and Hannibal!) director Vincenzo Natali. It's about a monster, in the grass, which is tall, or something. Second tid-bit: apparently Stephen King and I share a love of the TV soap Revenge, which just ended its 4-year run last night, and Yahoo published some of his emails to their writer about the show, and they made me laugh. Lots of gay! I'm gonna miss that dumb show. Also I'm gonna miss Nick Wechsler's hot short ass (or is that short hot ass) seen to the right in a new picture.

--- Men vs Machina - And add this one to the list of "things to do when I have a minute" -- the directors Edgar Wright and Alex Garland sat down and chatted about Garland's new sci-fi hit Ex Machina, and HitFix recorded the whole damn thing. It's almost half an hour long! That sounds right up my geeky alley. (thanks Mac)

--- The Long Cast - I've kind of given up on keeping up with James Franco's personal projects - there have been too many of middling quality to stay on top of. However reading yesterday that both Josh Hartnett and Ashton Kutcher have joined the cast of his latest one - an adaptation of William Gay's "southern Gothic" novel The Long Home also starring Josh Hutcherson - clearly grabbed my attention. Courtney Love is also listed on IMDb and I'm pretty sure Beth Grant's talked online about being in this movie. That's a lot of cast. Any of you read the book? 

--- Lake of Blood - Our pal Stacie Ponder took on one of our series last week over at Final Girl, using "Who Wore It Best?" to give love to one of our favorite horror movies and one of her favorite video-games. Hooray girls n' gore!

--- Professor Pate - I knew if I didn't post this picture the minute I saw it over the weekend it'd already be everywhere and I probably wouldn't bother, but what the hey maybe one of you missed it - James McAvoy finally shaved his head for the new X-Men movie and happily he's got a really nice skull under there. What it called attention to for me is his nose - James McAvoy's got a gorgeous nose and I don't think I'd noticed it before this picture. His gigantic eyes usually steal the thunder.

--- Stepping Back to Ex Machina for a minute - no I still haven't reviewed it, shame on me, but I think you ought to read my pal Sean's thoughts on the film that he posted over at his site; he's extremely critical of the film and made me think back on it in ways I hadn't while watching it, and now I almost feel as if I should see it again and consider it thru his insights.

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I Am Link

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--- Baby Maker - IndieWire has a wonderful chat with director Sebastian Silva over here - his new movie Nasty Baby, starring himself and Kristen Wiig, has apparently gotten some strange reception from the festival circuit, which he hilariously details. The movie sounds amazing, I hadn't heard anything about any of the walk-outs or anything, I'm even more excited than I was before. And I was excited before, not just because of Wiig, but because I loved Crystal Fairy tons and tons. Also he's seriously cute, who knew?

--- The Oscars Of Everything - I don't know how he finds the hours in the day for all of this but our pal Joe Reid's been on fire with the articles this week - here's a piece at The Atlantic on the disconnect between the Best Actress nominees and the movies their performances are in getting any correlating Oscar respect! Here's a piece at Slate on Joe's yearly project of seeing every single Oscar nominee wherein he ranks all of the movies from best to worst! (High placement of garbage like Birdman gives me slight agita, but I'll make due, especially with such a great number one.) And here's a piece at Vanity Fair on the nominees for Best Original Song in 1999, aka the greatest years of movies ever. Damn Joe, you're making me tired on your behalf!

--- Joke's On Us - It's amazing how quickly Jared Leto's able to make my skin crawl nowadays - in this new interview with Billboard magazine I went straight from "his beard does look lickable in that picture" to "oh my god shut that asshole up" in like half a second flat. He talks about wanting to gain weight for The Joker and then "vegan tacos" are mentioned and oh my god shut that asshole up.

--- Fall Guys - Taking a breather from the Oscars stuff for a hot second at The Film Experience Nathaniel wrote up some thoughts on a recent binge-watch of The Fall, that serial-killer starring the goddess Gillian plus that perfectly crafted set of abs with legs standing opposite her. I guess the second season is showing up on Netflix soon? They are good, you should watch them. I also wrote up some thoughts on the first season awhile back.

--- Dick Friendly - I suppose some other garbage dump for zombies will just fill in the hole that Two and a Half Men is leaving, having just aired its final episode last night, but I still feel some tension leaving the world now that it's gone. Ahhh. The air feels fresher today, doesn't it? Anyway point being here's Ashton Kutcher talking about his gigantic fake dick.

--- Serious Movie - I want to say it's been awhile since Oliver Stone's been relevant but he did flash Aaron Johnson's anus at us that one time not too long ago so me and Ollie, we're totally good. His movie about Edward Snowden starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who's clearly angling himself towards baity-roles these days (not mastur-baity, but awards-baity, that is) just picked up another hot piece, one Timothy Olyphant! I don't know if an Edward Snowden movie will find room for an anus flash, but let's cross our fingers and toes.

--- Milk The Dead - I wish I could figure out what character she played but an actress named Jill Marie Jones, who was apparently on American Horror Story: Asylum, just scored the leading lady role in Sam Raimi's upcoming Evil Dead television series. Oh wait I just googled it oh god gross I'd forgotten about this scene. You're a big pervert, Dylan McDermott.

Jingle Your Hollies, Jingle Your Jollies

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Alrighty folks I'm wassailing off for the next twelve or so days - it'll be 2015 when we reopen the blog for business (unless something like Tom Hardy streaking down Madison Avenue happens, in which case we'll probably show back up and post those pictures, because duh) so everybody have a Merry Whatever and a wonderful New Years. 

And if you're feeling especially Kringle-ish this festive season don't forget -- there's a donation button over in the right-hand column there; we work hard (and we play hard) on MNPP and while we're normally loathe to clang the donation-bell hell, tis the season! Or you can just buy something on Amazon for yourself thru this link (also the search-bar in the right-hand column), since that little percentage fills our stockings with joy (in the form of cold hard cash, the second best joy there is), as well. 

Ho ho, everybody!

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I Am Link

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--- Make Way For Frances - Today's "Read This Later" is this interview with the ever amazing Frances McDormand at the New York Times on the occasion of her four-part miniseries Olive Kitteridge for HBO, which began airing this weekend. Frances is always worth our time, our effort, our everything.

--- Caught In The Net - I felt sorta guilty about not writing anything up on this myself but since I knew Glenn was going to I let myself off the hook easy (really easily) - there was a screening of the terrific 1967 horror-comedy Spider Baby here in NYC on Halloween night, and its director Jack Hill (who also made exploitation classics like Coffy and Foxy Brown) was there for a Q&A with Maniac director William Lustig. Yeah, this was a thing! I love this city. Here's Glenn talking about it over at The Film Experience. I did post a picture of them on Instagram, that counts for something right? Anybody?

--- Ex Pattz - Ever since Cosmopolis (well technically ever since my second viewing of Cosmopolis) I've been keen on watching Robert Pattinson actually act in things, so I am sad to hear Idol's Eye, his movie with the great Olivier Assayas (who's just coming off of Clouds of Sils Maria, which I loved and which contains a great performance from Pattinson's ex-in-all-things-Twilight Kristen Stewart) just got cancelled. It was going to co-star Rachel Weisz and Robert DeNiro and it was just about to start shooting; apparently financing collapsed.

--- And Speaking of last minute turnarounds, Christian Bale just dropped out of the Steve Jobs movie that Danny Boyle's set to make this Fall from a script by (ugh) Aaron Sorkin. Bale's story is he decided he wasn't right for the part, but we all know he was just terribly, terribly intimidated to attempt to follow up Ashton Kutcher's unbeatable portrayal.

--- Serve And Protect - Since it's a day that ends in "-day" there is some Marvel news to report - firstly go read what our pal Joe has got to say about Agents of SHIELD in its second season, because I'm down with all of it, especially the part where he links to the video of a shirtless Brett Dalton holding a puppy. 

--- Big Red - Jessica Chastain says that she has had meetings with people at Marvel about playing a superhero, but she won't say who it is... well except it's not Captain Marvel, and that it would have to be a main character, not some piddling little nobody, because she's Jessica effing Chastain, don't you piddle her. Any ideas on who she could play, you guys?

--- Hero Hopping - I am sorry for sharing this news since it's probably TMI and considered a spoiler by some of you - look away now if you don't want to know any more information on the Avengers sequel - apparently Tom Hiddleston and Idris Elba are showing up as Loki and Heimdall at some point in Age of Ultron. Fingers crossed it's for a locker-room scene a la this picture that commenter "Earth's Hunkiest Heroes" just left a link to in the comments last night:

Good Morning, World

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I hadn't really given Ashton Kutcher much thought lately since that show of his is beyond unwatchable, but stumbling upon those underwear pictures of him for National Underwear Day yesterday shuffled his presence back towards the front-side of my brain. I don't mind it.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... Ashton Kutcher's grease monkey.

It's been a long time since we did one of these - hey it's National Underwear Day! Of course it's been a long time because every day is National Underwear Day as far as I'm concerned, and finding pictures I haven't posted already is kind of a chore. Mind you, a wonderful chore! These are the chores I adore. But after an hour of looking I only dug up a dozen or so not-posted-before pictures. Click here to see all the old posts, and hit the jump for several new-to-here pics.

I Am Link

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--- Always Looking - I'm halfway through this chat with Jonathan Groff at Playbill about all the stuff he's been up to lately - there's not much new info about the second season of Looking but it's nice to know the cast has actually become friends; he says they're on their way to Fire Island together right after the interview which, damn, I wanna bump into the Looking cast on Fire Island. As somebody did -- that picture to the left (via) being proof.

--- Summer Snow - As long as I don't crap out on it (I'm not feeling well today) I'll be seeing Bong Joon-ho's Snowpiercer a second time tonight this time on a big screen here in NYC with BJH in person (here's my original review of the film, which is terrific and I def. recommend - if for Tilda alone!) so linking to this piece on the movie at EW seems timely.

--- Live Wires - It's not a movie version of those a-hole characters they played on SNL but Jason Sudekis is in talks to co-star in a heist comedy with Kristen Wiig - actually the level of his"co-star"'ing isn't entirely clear since the movie is already set to star Zach Galifinakis as an armored car driver and Wiig as his love interest - it doesn't say where Sudeikis fits in. 

--- New Old Prey - Writer-director Shane Black says that his reboot of Predator isn't really a reboot but is actually a sequel. But as they point out at that link unless they get Arnold into it it will be starring a whole new cast and the only thing they'll be carrying over is the creature (and not even the original one since Arnold killed it with bombs) so yeah, basically a reboot. Just referincing the events of the original film - ooh look a scorched jungle! - does not a sequel make. Although in typing that I suddenly remember there was a second one with Danny Glover! I totally forgot that existed.

---  Big Fella - I don't even know why I'm linking to this interview with slab-of-meat Derek Theler - I mean I know why, but I feel as if I need some excuse if it's not just to ogle him. At least he's entirely clear with his place in the world as a slab-of-meat, and he comes off well in there, so I don't have to feel too gross about it. Dude is 6'4" and 240 pounds of nothing but muscle. I don't feel bad! Click here for lots of pictures of him.

--- Movie Pride - Over at The Film Experience Nathaniel the list-lover tackles a couple of recent ones - I'd seen and trembled in fright at the one of the 100 Greatest Movies according to some Hollywood folks (this is why the movies coming out of Hollywood suck so much - so little imagination up in there) but I'd missed the list of essential LGBT movies.

--- Free Mila -  I'm with Daniel at Salon on that interview with Mila Kunis that everybody's calling her a bitch for - how fickle we are; wasn't it just a few months ago that she was an interviewer's darling? God forbid she not have patience for some dumb questions. One lousy turn in an Oz movie and one lousy looking trailer for a Wachowskis movie (and let's be honest, nobody wants to see her with Ashton Kutcher) and suddenly we're all out for blood.

--- And Finally ooh look a new Nina video! I loooove this song.

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TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011 #20-11

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I'm keeping the intros brief because this part's notsomuch about words. Although there are words. But also pictures, do not fear. We just posted twelve runners-up a bit ago - now here's number twenty through number eleven of my favorite male gratuitousness of 2011.

Joel Edgerton, Warrior - See this is what I was talking about in my list of runners-up when I said that the rules governing this list only follow some kind of insane logic in my head - for a movie promising an endless parade of beefcake, Warrior was strangely shy, and I ought to punish it for that. Especially when say for instance Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, who only made runner-up, both got totally starkers in their movie. But Joel Edgerton is just so sexy, y'all. I cannot deny him. Just think if the movie had been more of a giver with that ass-kicking physique he built up. Oh what could have been.

Ryan Reynolds for Green Lantern - And this is another one. The fact that they CG'd a suit onto a body like Ryan Reynolds has, thereby muddying up ur understanding of how much everything below his neck actually was his for entire stretches of the film, is unforgivable.

But then... he does wear tighty-whities for a second! And he does writhe around on that space-table in litte underpants that one time! And... it's Ryan Reynolds, man. I can't help myself. Cut from fucking marble, this one. (more here)

Julián Villagrán for Extraterrestrial - We just posted some caps from this earlier this week, which do the scene some justice but not enough, because it just goes on and on for a wonderfully long time, even filling the entire screen with his underpants-clad crotch for a moment. It's a keeper.

Daniel Radcliffe for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - Gone are the days when I will feel weird for lusting after young Harry Potter. They left right around the time he flashed his treasure-thicket in those promotional Equus pics. That's he's become such a staunch gay rights advocate only makes it feel even better.

Ashton Kutcher for No Strings Attached and Justin Timberlake for Friends With Benefits - Consider these two a tie since they made the exact same movies and I hate them both about the exact same amount and yet I cannot deny that they did their jobs by showing us their sexy hateful asses, thereby filling me with a confused lustful rage. I couldn't sit through these movies, but I could certainly fast-forward and then pause through them. See more Ashton here, and more Justin here. Justin gets bonus points for that jean-humping scene in Bad Teacher.

Sebastian Schipper and Devid Striesow for Three - This one's more for Sebastien since I just find him completely adorable, but Striesow can come along for the ride. So to speak.

Their hook-up scenes in Tom Tykwer's film are very very hot, especially that first one in the locker-room where Schipper's completely taken by surprise... very happy surprise... by Striesow's sudden advances.

Chris Zylka for Shark Night - While his co-stars Chris Carmack and Dustin Milligan only got also-ran status for this movie (although the latter gets bonus points for making sure his sweatshirt was inexplicably pushed open around his nips during his kidnapping) Zylka shoved his way up the list by the power of one wonderfully winking butt-cheek. Also, he got eaten by a shark while riding a jet-ski and that's just so much love.

Daniel Craig for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Cowboys and Aliens and Dream House (more here) - As much as I love DC's little black underpants in Dragon Tattoo, we seem to be judging him based on a curve at this point. It's the only explanation I can find for him only making it this high. We've been spoiled, I guess.

Tom Hardy for Warrior and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - You know what I said about Joel Edgerton barely making the list because Warrior was so criminally stingy with exploiting its prepped-for-exploitation menfolk? Same goes for Hardy's case therein, but then Tom went for extra credit by wearing a dress shirt and nothing else in Tinker and whoosh he shot ahead. As you'll see further on in the list, that's a look we seem to like a lot.
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And on top of that he made that short film where he went above and beyond the call of duty, if by "above and beyond the call of duty" I mean going full-frontal and wiggling his dick around and wrestling with another guy all at once. Which I guess in this instance I absolutely do mean it that way. Bless you, Tom Hardy, for making me mean something that way.

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poll by twiigs.com

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Coming up: THE TOP TEN!

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Only Serious Glamazons Need Apply

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Since I'd messed up and not realized that Young Adult was out this weekend here in New York and not next, it didn't occur to me until I was writing up this week's post on this weekend's movies for Celebrity Beehive - ahem, which you can read right here, ahem - that two of my very very favorite serious actresses slash glamazons were sharing December 9th as co-queens of limited release-dom. Such glories we do not deserve, y'all!

I've made it pretty clear how excited I am about Young Adult - what I haven't made so clear, and haven't been able to until just now because of the dreaded press embargo, is how I feel about Tilda's new movie We Need To Talk About Kevin, which I've seen twice now. Twice! I said a little of this - emphasis on little - at Celebrity Beehive, but here's the gist - Tilda's fantastic. Of course Tilda's always fantastic. But here she carves out all the right corners for this hard-to-carve character. She makes all the horrors of this woman and this woman's situation plain and horrible and clear. But the movie... well, it works in fits. There are sections that work and there are bits that decidedly do not work, and it never entirely gels the way I'd hoped it would when I read Lionel Shriver's wonderful, wonderful book.

Being familiar with director Lynne Ramsey's work I knew she'd probably be cutting out most or all of Shriver's sharp prose - the book is so well written I was forced to stop every half paragraph to quote something new to whoever was closest - and doing what you gotta do when you make a movie, turn the words into pictures. And sometimes this works and she finds wonderful visual terms to express the book's ideas with - Tilda standing next to a roaring jackhammer to drown out a crying baby is one of the year's best moments - and sometimes it doesn't... often it doesn't, more often than I'd like it hits the nail square on the head when it's begging for a little less center.

Like I said I've seen the film twice now and both of those times I was insanely lucky enough to have Q&As with Tilda herself present after the film, and each time she's spoken so eloquently about the film and about the book and her love for it and the ideas that it presents that she's almost convinced me to like the film more than where I ultimately end up at. Still it's a gorgeously shot film, and Tilda's terrific, and it has a lot of interesting things to say even if it muddles itself a bit. Read the book first, please. But once you've done that by all means, the movie's got things that are well worth seeing, and ideas well worth pondering too.

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Let Us Never Speak Of This Again

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At least until they have him naked again, which from what I hear about his character might be often. Damn you, show I don't even want to name! I suppose it just means Ashton's come to realize where his true talents lay. Sigh. See a few more after the jump...

Happy 28, Greta Gerwig

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I'd love to leave this post to that picture alone because that picture alone is fucking hysterical, but to clear up who that bum belongs to I'll add one more down below.

Anyway happy birthday Greta, my beloved! Can't wait to see you in Whit Stillman's new movie (and perhaps wash the stink of the not-your-fault-at-all Arthur remake away).