If There's One Take Away From Weapons...

... it's ALDENSTACHE.

(See more of Alden's set photos here, and 

read my thoughts on the movie here and then 

my follow-up on its questionable gay shit here.)

On Weapons & Its Gay Stuff

Nobody likes a killjoy yet I've found myself falling into that role over and over and over again when it's come (mostly) to horror movies in 2025; I just haven't been on consensus this year. God forbid. But it seems to've been my review of writer-director Zach Cregger's Weapons, which stormed the box office this past weekend, which seems to've annoyed people the most... even though I gave the movie a mostly good review! I gave it a fresh Red Apple on that dastardly Tomatometer! I just have several nits to pick with the film that seem to really be killing people's joy, if the comments on said post are to be believed, and there's one I really want to address since it's a subject I've spent most of my writing career (lol "career") contemplating. 

Annoyed at the should-know-better homosexual’s comment on my review saying we fought for the equality to be played as weirdo jokes and get murdered in horror movies so I’ll probably go off on that at MNPP tomorrow, stay tuned!

— Jason Adams (@jamnpp.bsky.social) August 10, 2025 at 10:05 AM

Yeah that's the one. Specifically people seem annoyed with the following passage from my review (and yes I'm diving head-first into SPOILERS at this point so beware if you haven't seen the movie and care):

"And oh right lest we forget there’s the homophobic portion of our evening’s entertainment, the chapter involving Marcus (Benedict Wong, great and not in the least at fault for the way these scenes are framed). He’s the school’s gay principal and he’s who, along with his hissing stereotype of a partner (they love weiners and have Mickey and Minnie t-shirts, haha!), the film really relishes giving a heftily violent what-for. Killing your gays is so in y’all."

Marcus' partner is named Terry and I honestly don't know if I'll see a more offensive-to-me image in the movies this year than the one of Terry mincingly holding up two boxes of Fruity Pebbles in the grocery store. And that really has nothing to do with the "killing your gays" trope -- although yes I'll get to that -- it has to do with it feeling as if Weapons is actively laughing at these characters for being gay. It's not that I mind "sissies" in real life -- nobody's ever mistaken me for the captain of the football team y'all. It's that the movie thinks these gigantic queens are weird and hilarious and so fucking gay -- aren't they so fucking gay??? So many weiners! Plates and plates of weiners! High-larious!

And yes I will admit I've lost some of my humor here in 2025 on this subject. But I feel as if any sane fucking queer person should be right there alongside me in the same humorless goddamned boat. Look around. Our rights are being ripped away. Marriage Equality is probably going to be gone in the next year. Trans service members are being ripped out of service and denied retirement benefits right now, right this second, and it'll be the rest of the rainbow next. They are coming for us all with terrifying methodical swiftness and all of our systems of defense are failing.

So yeah ten years ago I also might've been making the case, as has been made in the comments on my review, that some modern version of cinematic equality sees gays getting to die in horror movies just like straight characters do. And sure, okay -- in a utopia there's something to that. Maybe just don't turn them into cartoonish stereotypes before that? Maybe we can be main characters once in awhile? And maybe don't have it be the gay characters love for one another that becomes what kills them. Weapons gives us no reason to give a shit about Marcus & Terry's relationship before Marcus is forced to murder Terry by smashing their faces together over and over again, which -- it's not a fucking stretch to see this as "men kissing men" weaponized. 

So yes -- we argued that we gays should be able to die in horror movies just like straights. It's just -- JFC did the storytellers immediately take us up on that offer, like gangbusters. In the past month I've seen (SPOILER for The Gilded Age ahead) a gay dude trampled by horses in front of his lover on The Gilded Age. I've seen a gay couple in the horror movie Together (SPOILER for Together ahead) turn out to be the weirdo freak cult leaders who've come to pervert the straight couple and turn them into non-binary monsters. And now I have seen this sequence -- in a movie I mostly liked otherwise! -- and... I dunno. I'm just pretty tired y'all. So cut me some slack if I kind of come off like this most of the time:

A Place in Andy

I wanted to like Chloe Domont's 2023 movie Fair Play a lot because it was sold as an erotic thriller starring Alden Ehrenreich and who doesn't want that? But I ended up being pretty meh on the movie in the end, finding it neither erotic nor thrilling. It was a load of straight nonsense. But that's not stopping me from being excited about Domont's next movie because how can I not be when it stars Michelle Williams, Andrew Scott, and Daisy Edgar-Jones? It's titled A Place in Hell and Neon just picked up the rights for it -- it's already been filmed and they're calling it a “thriller following two women at a high-profile criminal law firm.” Not sure where our man Andy fits into that dynamic but I hope it involves a lack of sleeves. 

You Got a Permit For Those Guns, Alden

Now here is a cast worth eyeballing -- Alden Ehrenreich is going to star opposite Julia Garner in the next horror movie from Barbarian director Zach Cregger! The movie is called Weapons and it was supposed to film last year but got delayed due to the strikes -- there's not much info on specifics except that it "promises interconnected stories surrounding the disappearance of high schoolers." I don't think Alden or Julia can play high schoolers anymore -- he's 34 and she's 30. Maaaaaybe Julia, although I think it'd be pushing it. Also in the cast is Josh Brolin, who is definitely too old to be playing a high school student. Anyway I was mixed on Barbarian -- here is my review -- there was stuff I liked about it (specifically its structure) but I think it botched its tone in the end in ways that really didn't work for me. But I think Cregger's got talent and hopefully this one will win me over. This cast is a good start!

All My Nonsense

Sorry for the semi-quietude here today -- I took a long lunch-break where I went and picked up my first batch of Criterions from the just-begun month-long Barnes & Noble sale, including that lovely most perfect ghost movie seen above in resplendant 4K -- that's what I am watching tonight! Have y'all bought anything at the sale yet? Tell me what, if so! Nothing makes me giddier than sexy physical-media talk. (Unless it's Alden Ehrenreich doing the talking in which case -- look out!)

Oh the things I would do to him when the Criterion Closet door closed. Poor Agnes Varda's eyes will be bugging off her box-set cover! Aaaaanyway -- the other thing I have been doing that's not blogging today is listing a bunch of movies and movie ephemera on eBay because my apartment is overflowing with nonsense and I need to get rid of the redundant nonsense. It's really good nonsense though -- beautiful posters and blu-rays and books and vinyl! -- so if anybody wants to buy some of my nonsense there are heaps of said nonsense on sale on eBay right now right here. Please help me scale down so I don't die under my nonsense! (Who am I kidding, that's obviously the way I will die.)

Alden Ehrenreich Eight Times

I imagine that some of you have watched the erotic business thriller Fair Play on Netflix since the last time I posted Alden photos, which was the day that came out -- if so what did you think? As I said then I wasn't that big a fan, but at least Alden looked good! As if Alden has a choice in that matter. Speaking of our beautiful furry boy has posed for the brand Todd Snyder today (via) and hey whaddya know, he is looking good. (Sidenote: the coat seen directly below has me lost in its own swoon.) Hit the jump for the photos...

Alden Ehrenreich Three Times

(via) I wasn't as big a fan of it as most people seemed to be at Sundance but Fair Play, the relationship thriller starring our cuddly little Alden here opposite Phoebe Dynevor as lovers and co-workers whose relationship unravels over a promotion, is on Netflix today! It's worth a watch, even if it felt to me like a script fished out of a 1993 garbage can in its "commentary" on heterosexual relationships of "the moment." I posted the trailer previously, right here, if you prefer. Alden is sexy in it, because he is Alden, but I felt like it needed to be more exploitative, more Verhoeven -- just way trashier basically. But then that's always my desire. Trash it up, people!

Good Morning, World

I wasn't as bowled over with Alden Ehrenreich's new movie Fair Play as many people were at Sundance. But if he's going to keep posting photos of himself looking like this on his Insta I will say I was. I will say anything, Alden. ANYTHING. Ahem. Fair Play is out in theaters on September 29th and then hits Netflix on October 6th. Here's the trailer!

Alden Ehrenreich Three Times

Today is dead dead dead dead dead dead dead, and I am just staring at the wall willing it to end. Just today, mind you. Not, like, everything. Everything doesn't need me to will it to end -- everything's doing a great job ending itself all on its own. But for now I am good with just today. Anyway in between zoning out about ye olde mortal coil I've spent this afternoon googling around for things to post and come up with a whole lotta zilch... until I found these photos of Cocaine Bear star Alden Ehrenreich that went along with a story in British GQ last month that I totally missed at the time. Phew! More than zilch! That's all we can really ask for. Indeed there's a bonus photo from the photographer's Instagram too, and I will throw that after the jump (making you click the link will take an extra couple of seconds out of our endless lives, and you're welcome for that)...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Stoker (2013)

India: Have you ever seen a picture of yourself, taken when you didn't know you were being photographed, from an angle that you don't usually see when you look in a mirror, and you think: "That's me... that's ALSO me."

Happy 10 to director Park Chan-wook's fantastic stab at making a movie here in the States, Stoker -- who could have foreseen that ten years later we'd be finishing up yet another Oscar season where Park Chan-wook made a movie deserving all of the awards and ended up left high and dry yet again? I mean, I could've -- he's too good for the Oscars, and yes that's also intended as the slightest of digs at his South Korean contemporary Bong Joon-ho, whose movies are far less thorny and more digestible than Park's when it comes down to it. I said what I said! PS here is a thing I wrote about how good Mia Wasikowska is in this movie a few years back. And here is a post on the film's most perverse scene (which is clearly saying a lot), pictured below:

10 Off My Head: Putting the Wild in Wild Life

So who went and saw Cocaine Bear this weekend? I did, I did. It was fine. I'm surprised I can't rave more about a movie where Margo Martindale gets her ass gnawed on but the movie really needed some punching up, I thought -- it came up slightly short on everything it was aiming for. It wasn't scary enough, it wasn't funny enough, it wasn't camp enough. It was a little bit of those things, and it had moments. But there was a tension in the film between how straight director Elizabeth Banks wanted to play it and how far off the deep-end she wanted to go and the movie never quite resolved that.

Still I'm glad it exists (PS hey Alden Ehrenreich's biceps in that last scene) and I hope its success at the box-office sets off a "When Animals Attack!" craze, because that's one of my favorite sub-genres of movies. Indeed for no other reason than I felt like thinking about these movies this morning, here is a list of ten of my totally random favorites, all of which totally get the balance right between bonkers and bite, and which are all streaming right now. Cuz why not? it's Monday dammit.

10 of my Favorite "When Animals Attack!" Movies

Slugs (1988) -- streaming on Tubi

I've posted about Slugs on this here website more than Slugs could possibly deserve, but it was partially filmed in my hometown when I was in Junior High; how could I not be obsessed with it? I didn't see it until I was adult though and thankfully it's a blast -- over-the-top gross and totally knowing about how ridiculous it is. You'll never look at chopped lettuce the same way again!

Day of the Animals (1977) -- streaming on Shudder

Not only does this movie star 70s horror icons Christopher George and his lady Lynda Day George -- the royal couple of Pieces, wherein she delivers the greatest line reading in the history of cinema -- but this movie also features Leslie Nielsen playing a wicked creep who dies topless wrestling a grizzly bear in the pouring rain. Look up "cinema" in the dictionary and it is just a photo of that. 

Frogs (1972) -- streaming on Pluto

Sam Elliot. Versus frogs.

Rogue (2007) -- streaming on Prime

This was director Greg McLean's follow-up to his masterpiece Wolf Creek and I feel like I remember it undeservedly falling through the cracks at the time and you never hear people talk about it anymore, but god it's a blast. Definitely tilts toward the scary side over the funny side, but Greg McLean does scary really well! I haven't seen this in awhile, I think I might revisit it myself. 

Food of the Gods -- streaming on Plex

With these older ones you do have to warn people about real animal cruelty happening on-screen, and yes this movie does kill a ton of rats on-screen in its big finale. But it's still one of my faves -- gigantic chickens and mosquitoes, man! You can't go wrong. 

The Uninvited -- streaming on Shudder

This is a recent acquisition unto my heart -- I only saw it for the first time a few months ago, thanks to its presence on Shudder. But as that gif above tells you,  I have chosen my heart's path wisely. About a cute little kitty-cat who gets exposed to radioactivity and then starts puking up a demon cat that kills a bunch of basic bitches (and George Kennedy!) onboard a yacht, this movie completed me.

Squirm (1976) -- streaming on Tubi

We've reached the point in the proceedings where I just feel the need to gesture wildly at the images and say, "LOOK! LOOK AT THAT! HOW COULD YOU NOT WANT TO WATCH THAT MOVIE???" But seriously. I don't remember much about Squirm's plot -- I should say "plot" -- but do I remember the scene pictured above? You bet your bottom dollar I do. You don't forget mountains of earthworms swallowing people up easy. 

Razorback (1984) -- streaming on Apple

I could have filled this list with nothing but movies from Australia, land of the demon animals -- indeed 1978's Long Weekend isn't on this list today but it's a must-watch and not just because its leading man wears the shortest-shorts I have possibly ever seen on-screen. But Razorback is also a classic and it's FINALLY getting a big blu-ray upgrade in just a couple of weeks -- this movie didn't have to go as hard as it does, but it's absolutely gorgeous in that very specific 1980s way and I can't wait to watch the upgrade to relish in its weird beauty.

Eaten Alive (1976) -- streaming on Shudder

Speaking of going hard -- Tobe Hooper's wackadoodle gator-romp fever dream sure is something else, innit? Set at an isolated swamp hotel that's as artificial looking at anything in Querelle this movie has wigs popping off and swamp-hookers and the most annoying dog ever put on-screen. It's about as bonkers as these movies go, and covered in that sleazy gunky feeling that only Tobe could muster. God I adore it.

Black Sheep (2006) -- streaming on Tubi

I gave this movie about deranged people-eating sheep a mixed-review when it came out in 2006 but I've been dying to re-watch it and haven't gotten around to it, so me including it here is really just me reminding myself to re-watch it. But I bet I'll be more forgiving of what bugged me about it now than I was then; I didn't used to be as delighted by goofiness + gore as I am today -- obviously I've regressed as a human being, but time will do that to you. 

------------------------------------------

So what are your favorite Animal Attack movies?

Hey Look At My Big Poll Y'all

And now, for something a little different -- a heads-up on two polls I recently participated in. The first and more recent one went live today -- click over to IndieWire to see a survey of what critics thought was the best of Sundance 2023, in which I voted. Things I voted for definitely made the lists but the big winner, Chloe Domont's gender and power dynamics corporate thriller Fair Play starring Alden Ehrenreich and Phoebe Dynevor as a couple whose work relationship gets seriously in the way of their engagement, was a disappointment for me and I'm not getting the love I see other critics heaping upon it at all. It's not a disaster -- it's serviceable and the actors give it their all. Y'all know I love Alden and he's in fine form (in more than one manner). But I really didn't feel as if it told me anything new by its end. Anyway this isn't meant to be a review, I'm not reviewing it -- just putting that contrasting brief opinion out there. My little meh.

The second poll I recently participated in is the annual Nashville Scene poll, which took a look back at the movies of 2022 and picked out some faves -- check it here. MNPP friend Jason Shawhan runs this poll and gathers up a smart batch of critics (although I might, you know, be biased) so it's always if you ask me more interesting than a lot of yearly round-ups I see. Several of my actual favorite movies of the past year actually made this list, which hasn't been happening a lot for 2022 -- my personal list, if I ever end up showing it to you, is turning out to be let's say an eclectic one. Which is to say I kind of feel when I do these polls that I'm just throwing my opinion into an abyss, where all my teensy tiny weirdo little choices are immediately swallowed up by other's consensus. Oh well, that's what this "Best of" machinery is always about! 

Alden's Ironheart Will Go On

Remind me the next time I feel like feeling bad for Alden Ehrenreich, a very talented actor I like quite a bit who's had relentless bad luck in picking out flops to star in, that I don't actually have to feel bad for him -- he's doing fine, and like most attractive white boys he keeps get cast in things even after several flops. Would I like to see him in more things? Of course. But all things considered Alden is winning. Take today's news that he's just gotten himself cast into the MCU (thx Mac). Granted it's one on of the many many Disney+ Marvel series that are heading our way, and one about a character I've never heard of before -- the one called Ironheart, who's an inventor who creates "creator of the most advanced suit of armor since Iron Man" -- but Deadline says his role is "a key role" (even if per usual it's unnamed) so perhaps it'll be someone who exists in the broader scope of such things. Dominique Thorne from If Beale Street Could Talk and Judas and the Black Messiah is playing the titular inventor, while hot-ass Anthony Ramos is also a part of the cast. Ooh let's look at Anthony Ramos too, while we have the chance!

HAPPY INDEPLAIDPANTS DAY!

Last year we birthed a new tradition here at MNPP -- it was actually a reader's idea (shout-out to The Futurist!) but I liked it enough that I snatched it up and ran with it. Every year for the 4th of July I shall here henceforth post a gallery of men wearing Plaid Pants, in honor of this website's Dada-esque nonsense title. In case you're unaware -- I've been asked over the years, "What's with the site's name?" And the answer is, "Nonsense." It means nothing. I'd randomly bought a pair of plaid pants the day I started this site, I was trying to figure out something to call the little Blogger blog I was beginning to ramble my thoughts on movies to I assumed an audience of absolutely no one -- I looked down, I saw the pants, a name was born. 

It really was genuinely meant to be Dada-esque, as that's my favorite school of Art -- telling that story ascribes more meaning to it than it actually deserves. I wanted to pick a name that meant absolutely nothing. Now that more than "an audience of absolutely no one" have shown up to read my nonsense though I will admit that I sometimes wish I'd picked something actually Movie-related -- I have ended up on lots of PR lists for fashion emails somehow, as if this site was actually about Plaid Pants, haha. And the site's title, WTF & goofy as it is, makes me doubt many Movie PR people will ever put it on a trailer or movie poster. ("Schindlers List is Devastating," says My New Plaid Pants.) Oh well! It is what it is at this point, 15 full years on, we embrace it. With a gallery of actors wearing Plaid Pants for the American Holiday of July 4th, apparently! Keeping things nonsensical, right on after the jump...

Good Morning, World

.

One of my "many" "vital" "accomplishments" over my several-day birthday break last week was that I plowed through the entirety of the new series Brave New World starring Alden Ehrenreich, which I spoke of several times leading up to its release -- see the trailer here -- did any of you watch it? I tweeted a little, opinion-wise, but basically I dug the show more than the general critical consensus that formed beforehand, which was not positive -- granted my standards might have been particularly low last week since I was just trying to hide from the world but it worked! It kept me hidden!

UGHHH why is Alden Ehrenreich’s chest shaved on Brave New World???? DON’T THEY KNOW IT IS MY BIRTHDAY??? pic.twitter.com/7CyL9IlUxf

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 15, 2020

That was a problem, but not enough to derail the otherwise successful distraction the show offered. Anyway I liked the world it created -- it seemed realistic, that society would gladly dope itself into obliviousness, as I sat there hiding in my apartment watching nine hours of a sci-fi series in the middle of a pandemic, imagine that. And it never went too far up its own hoo-ha like Westworld -- I liked that, too. I liked the characters, who were allowed to be goofy, and not like Westworld's ponderously grim cavalcade of whisperers. The costumes were always good for a chuckle. I recommend it! Anyway I made a thousand gifs of Alden Ehrenreich after the jump, the end...

Quote of the Day

.

Oh this is a nice unexpected treat -- Esquire magazine has a new interview (and photoshoot) with our boy Alden Ehrenreich -- a be-stached Alden Ehrenreich at that! -- out today! I keep forgetting, to mine own chagrin, that his Brave New World TV series is imminent -- it's hitting NBC's Peacock streaming service tomorrow! (I posted the trailer recently right here.) And even better in the interview it comes up that Brave New World is a hella horny show -- apparently there's a big scene where Alden gets attacked by... an orgy?

"The most surreal part is when you get used to it, you know? You jump on set and there's a hundred naked people hanging out for 12 hours, and it's kind of like another day at the office. All day, on top of that tower looking down and screaming to this whole group of nude people who are reaching for me and trying to lick me.”

So set them DVRs or whatever the streaming equivalent is. 

And hit the jump for the rest of the photo-shoot...

.

Brave New Alden

.

Has anybody read Aldous Huxley's sci-fi classic Brave New World lately? Do they still assign it in high school English classes? That's the last time I read it myself and, uhh, it's been awhile since high school. (Cut to an x-ray shot of my bones turning to dust.) I ask because as I told you back in April of 2019 the book has been turned into a series for NBC's streaming platform (that's the one called Peacock) by Fear the Walking Dead show-runner David Weiner and comic book legend Grant Morrison, and it's premiering on July 15th (that's the one called Also My Birthday). They have just released a trailer! See:

it's looking kinda Westworldy (meets Gattaca?) but I can dig it. The show also stars Demi Moore, Downton Abbey's Jessica Brown Findlay, Game of Thrones' Harry Lloyd, The Vampire Diaries' Joseph Morgan, and so on. Here's how they describe the show:

"Brave New World imagines a utopian society that has achieved peace and stability through the prohibition of monogamy, privacy, money, family, and history itself. As citizens of New London, Bernard Marx (Lloyd) and Lenina Crowne (Findlay) embark on a vacation to the Savage Lands, where they become embroiled in a harrowing and violent rebellion. Bernard and Lenina are rescued by John the Savage (Ehrenreich), who escapes with them back to New London. John’s arrival in the New World soon threatens to disrupt its utopian harmony, leaving Bernard and Lenina to grapple with the repercussions."

And if that's the actual plot of the book you'll have to remind me, as I have literally zero recollection. Excuse me that should read, "Wassat, sonny? I ain't got my earpiece in!" Anyway I'm not angry at all of these classic sci-fi stories getting adapted at last -- see also the trailer for AppleTV's Isaac Asimov adaptation Foundation, which also dropped this week -- if there's one good side to the glut of content it's that people are digging deep for stories that haven't been told before. Plus... I just love Alden. Y'all know I do. I've been onboard since Beautiful Creatures in 2013. I'm glad he's got this lined up; I was afraid Hollywood would hold Solo against him (he was not the problem with Solo). On that Alden note you can click here for more of this photo-shoot if you like.

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Chev: A man who calls himself The Ferret.
Venus: El Huron.
Chev: You know him?
Venus: No. It means The Ferret in Spanish.

As I wish this movie a happy 10 today -- it was released on April 17th 2009 -- I ask myself, could the extraordinarily un-PC Crank movies be made today? I mean they were offensive in 2009 (and please keep in mind that I don't mean "offensive" as a slight, not in this context) but now, now I assume they're slightly toxic. I haven't re-watched them since they came out but just remembering the Bai Ling scenes alone makes me, uh, worry. But they're so over the top that they're clearly knowing parodies of hyper-masculinity at the same time, so perhaps they manage...? I don't know. I don't personally feel like revisiting and depressing myself today; maybe you do. (Here's my original review although be forewarned half the links in it are dead by now.)

The co-directors known as Neveldine / Taylor who made the Crank films, along with Gamer and the second Ghost Rider, had cornered the market on way out there parodically hyper-masculine action flicks for a hot minute -- Neveldine married actress Alison Lohman and they both (him and Lohman) disappeared but Taylor's kept working. He does Chris Meloni's show Happy (which makes sense given the little I've seen, it seems to be carrying the bonkers torch) and his newest project just got some big news this week: he's making a TV series out of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World and it is going to star Alden Ehrenreich. That's an interesting mix of folks I cannot wrap my head around entirely...

Alden Ehrenreich Six Times

.

I thought Solo was fine. Totally... fine. Didn't you? I haven't been able to muster up the energy to review a Star Wars movie in years - they don't really inspire much of an opinion in me either way. I've never been a nut for the franchise - I was born the year the first one came out and didn't see them until I was a teenager - and as a whole they're fun, junky eye-candy, but they don't really inspire a burning world of passion in my gut. (Good grief, I make enthusiasm sound like indigestion.)

Anyway Solo... it was fine. It's a Ron Howard movie, for god's sake - the fact that it is "fine" is an accomplishment on its own. The best thing about it was its cast, and the fact that Alden Ehrenreich managed to not humiliate himself was plenty. I hope its flop status isn't held against him - he's not the problem. Alden is never the problem. So let's keep that in mind as we peruse the rest of this GQ Germany photo-shoot after the jump...

When They Go Solo We Go So High

.

I'm not hip enough to get invites to press screenings of the big blockbuster movies (yet) so I'll be seeing Solo in the theaters with the rest of you normals this weekend - you'd think that Alden Ehrenreich's people would've gotten in touch given the seven years of free publicity I've been bestowing upon him, but per usual I'm just jerking off in the breeze! They forget us so quickly. Sigh.

Anyway (besides a quick post going up tomorrow) I am off now until Tuesday -- y'all can use this post's comments to 1) tell me what you thought of Solo, or 2) how about even better to "Do Dump or Marry" Alden along with his co-stars Donald Glover and Paul Bettany...?

Sure, why not, let's...

.