Worried Man With a Worried Mind

Wonder(ful) news, everybody -- Curtis Hanson's magnificent 2000 film Wonder Boys is finally finally finally getting a blu-ray release! And soon too -- it's hitting on November 24th! Just in time to give it to every single person you know for the holidays. I was just rage-tweeting about this film's lack of a new release back in February when the film celebrated its 20th anniversary -- I did a big post giving it love right here -- and this couldn't come sooner, as my DVD has officially started skipping, so oft has the movie gotten played and re-played over the past two decades. Sad this release won't have any new extras -- talk about a movie overdue deserving of a glorious Criterion-ing. But we'll make happy due with this for now.

5 Off My Head: Wonder Boys Wonder Lines

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One of my top ten of all time favorite movies just turned 20 this past weekend -- Curtis Hanson's Wonder Boys, adapted from Michael Chabon's novel and starring Michael Douglas and Tobey Maguire and Frances McDormand and Katie Holmes and Robert Downey Jr. -- oh and, lest we forget an Oola, this week's banner woman Jane Adams! -- the movie boasts career best work from several of them and is just a warm blanket I slip on whenever I need that sort of thing. For any Humanities fetishist it's the Dream, the Platonic Ideal -- small college town, snow, characters... to paragraph Michael Douglas's character, lucky for me this movie manufactures my drug of choice.

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Hey @criterion I'm reeeeally gonna need you to put WONDER BOYS onto blu-ray for its 20th (!!!) anniversary next year #neverforgetanoola pic.twitter.com/M9RrCMln86

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) August 21, 2019

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If you've never seen it, change that immediately, but here's the gist: Grady Tripp (Douglas) is n English Professor at a small New England Liberal Arts College. His wife has just left him, his mistress Sara (McDormand), who's also married to the chancellor of the college, is pregnant, and he's found himself caught up in the dramas of a talented young gay writer James Leer (Maguire) in his class. All of this comes to head as an annual literary festival, WordFest, descends on the sleepy hamlet, bringing Grady's agent (RDJ) into town as well to nag at Grady about his long unfinished book.

Yes I wrote that plot description without looking up a good goddamned thing -- this is a movie I've seen so many times I could narrate it from start to finish. And it's the perfect movie for that since narration is both a device used by Hanson within the film (Grady narrates the film telling his story) as well as a subject in the actual plot -- the characters, who are mostly writers, often begin randomly narrating their lives, a sort of distancing themselves from it which gets them into trouble more often than not.

Anyway did I mention this movie is perfect? It is perfect. My love for it is perfect, every frame is perfect, and there are about a billion characters in it that are each and every single one perfect. On that note I figured why only give love to the well-known bits -- for a second I considered doing a list of just line readings by Frances McDormand, who is absolute genius in this, but I want to spread the love. So here's something a little more random, as is my predisposition, and yes again I rattled each of these off from memory, because me and this movie are LIKE THIS. (I am wildly gesturing a big hug.)

5 of my Favorite Line Readings from 

Cameo Characters in Wonder Boys

"I mean, Jesus, what is it with you Catholics?"

Sneered by James Leer's classmate in the opening scene, this is how his contemporaries delicately review his work. And this is the moment that slips me right back into that frame of mind, that place, those war-zone classrooms. I'm hooked from then on. Oh I know this place!

"Oh right. The Book.
I hope it's really good, Grady."

The great Philip Bosco playing Grady's soon to be ex-wife's father, devastating Grady's entire self-obsessed world-view with one withering read -- The Book. That fucking thing. 

"So Professor Tripp, is all that stuff true, about Errol Flynn? How he used to put paprika... on his dick? To make it like, you know, more stimulating for the chick?"

Traxler (played by our beloved Alan Tudyk of Firefly fame) is giving Grady a ride and just randomly drops this question out of nowhere (turns out he noticed a biography of Flynn in the backpack Grady's holding) and I promise you -- this line is all I hear whenever I have seen Errol Flynn for the past 20 years. And Grady's flummoxed response, where he makes up a long list of things that Flynn did indeed rub on his dick (ground lamb!), always makes me howl.

"Tony. Now that I'm home."

The character of "Miss Antonia Sloviak" played by Michael Cavadias is one of the pieces of the film that's definitely dated in the past 20 years. She's repeatedly referred to as a "transvestite" and played as a visual punchline for awhile, but I think (and you can tell me if I'm wrong about this) the film makes up for it with this scene where Grady gives her a ride home -- everybody's always giving everybody rides in this movie, which also rings very true to my college experience -- after RDJ decides to chase Tobey's twink ass instead. She takes off the wig and make-up and Cavadias, in this minute or so of screen-time, paints a fascinating mini-portrait of what Antonia / Tony's life must be like, returning to this liberal town that's as close-minded as any place in this country. Like so many of these people you want to follow Tony off when he gets out the car and find out Antonia's story.

"So what was it about? Your book.
What was the story?"

Never forget an Oola! My beloved Jane Adams (just two years post-Happiness) shows up early in the film as the pregnant waitress as the local pub with a name-tag that says OOLA in big white letters, and then not again until almost the end, as everything has just collapsed around Grady. His book's blown to the wind! And Jane Adams, bless her to the heavens, cuts through the shrieking and chaos and weirdness and delivers this line with such warmth and friendliness, bringing us right to what matters. The Book. Oola more than earns that Marilyn Monroe jacket and her own happy ending.

So what are your thoughts on Wonder Boys?

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Good Morning, Tudyk

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This morning we're wishing Firefly et cetera star Alan Tudyk a happy happy 46th birthday -- may we all look as swell as he does as 46 (or whatever age you are right now, because I sure don't look like he does and I am younger than 46). Have any of you been watching his online series Con Man? All of these gifs (and there are a ton down below) are from that show. 

And yes I gathered these images up but I haven't actually watched the show properly yet -- given all the people showing up around him though (I would start listing names but it's a great big Who's Who of nerd-friendly names so just look through the IMDb list yourselves and gape) it seems like I sure do need to watch it. Anyway you can hit the jump for twenty more gifs if you like...

I Am Link

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--- What A Lovely Day - Mad Max Fury Road, George Miller's triumphant return to mutated desert midgets and the tumescent pustules that love them, is out on blu-ray on September 1st, and so I imagine we'll be seeing all sorts of little goodies popping up online over the next few weeks -- The Playlist has a trio of deleted scenes today and the middle one cracked me the hell up. Seeing as how this movie was in the making for years and years I imagine there's a ton of extras... I'm holding out hope for the War Boys Orgy of my dreams, personally.

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--- Hot Soup - Joel McHale says he has no plans on quitting The Soup anytime soon - he says he's got another good thirty years of it in him. Let's all get on our knees and play that he outlasts the Kardashians. And as long as we're on our collective knees, hey Joel get over here...

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--- Said Uncle - Did any of you see The Man From UNCLE this weekend? I considered it, the reviews were pretty good, but I decided to see the latest Mission Impossible instead. (Which I will try to review later.) Anyway if any of you did see UNCLE this weekend it seems like you were by yourselves, cuz damn it flopped. Henry Cavill really did try though -- here's yet another interview with him slurring out sexy words... 

"It’s like shagging someone for the first time. Sometimes it turns out to be amazing. Mostly you’re trying to get each other’s rhythm going. It’s on the next go that you start to expand."

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--- Dream Maker - I didn't hear about this until it was too late to post about it but I guess director Bernard Rose, who made the original Candyman movie but more importantly Paperhouse (click here for all of my posts on Paperhouse, which is one of my favorite movies of all time), had a little retrospective in Los Angeles this weekend; here's an interview with him on his career. I would kill for this to happen here in NYC.
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--- Forever Wars - There was of course a bunch of news out of the Disney Expo thing this weekend (for a hot few minutes my Twitter timeline was literally nothing but tweets about the Star Wars theme parks), including the word that Jurassic World helmer Colin Trevorrow will be directing the next Star Wars; I stand by my tweet...
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I don't see how anyone can manage anything more than a shrug over the Colin Trevorrow Star Wars news. He sanded Jurassic down to shavings

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) August 15, 2015

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Anyway some actual groovy news was that Mads Mikkelsen and Alan Tudyk have both joined the cast of Star Wars: Rogue One, the first spin-off film, which Gareth "Monsters" Edwards is directing. (I'm actually surprised Scoot McNairy isn't in this movie too, seeing as how Monsters gave him his big break.) They'll star alongside Diego Luna and Riz Ahmed and my god there's a sex scene I want to see.
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--- Bombs Away - Speaking of, Scoot's much deserved big boy career is chugging along nicely -- he's just signed on to co-star opposite Brad Pitt in that Netflix Afghanistan war satire called War Machine, which is being directed by Animal Kingdom director David Michod. (thanks Mac) The film's based on the book The Operators: The Wild And Terrifying Inside Story Of America’s War In Afghanistan -- any of y'all read it? 

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--- The Return of Vicki Vale - I don't really think Kim Basinger is a great actress but she's always been a warm and welcoming presence on-screen anyway so I'm happy to hear she's gotten cast in Tom Ford's movie Nocturnal Animals opposite Jake Gyllenhaal and Amy Adams and Aaron Johnson and Michael Shannon. I like everyone that they've cast so far! Basinger is playing Adams' mother (which is possible - they're 21 years apart).
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Now Spit!

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I don't think we really appreciate how well shot the Little Shop of Horrors movie is. It's so much fun; so many great little touches like that shot there. Anyway I hope that Frank Oz comes back and makes another great movie; it'd be a shame for him not to. His last movie was the original Death at a Funeral (the one with Naked Alan Tudyk, not the one with Naked James Marsden) - before that there was the painful remake of The Stepford Wives.

Aaaaanyway to get to my actual point I have a bit of dental emergency today and so I have to run out for a few hours, you'll have to amuse yourselves. Here, just watch the below clip over and over until I'm back. (And yes of course Little Shop is on my mind because of the Gyllenhaal thing; can you blame me?)

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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... grinding meat with Jeremy Sisto.

(via) Of course I mean "grinding" more like the second set of pictures than the first, but I won't deny that seeing Jeremy Sisto in a bloodied apron surrounded by sausages isn't stirring... something... in me. These shots are from Jeremy's show Suburgatory, and yes this is the show's second time getting Alan Tudyk into a speedo. (previously)

Something tells me it's not that hard. (Insert your own dirty pun here.) If you hit the jump there are several more. Pictures that is, not dirty puns. I'll leave those up to your quite capable imaginations.

Transformers 3 in 300 Words or Less

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Because Michael Bay's Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon - why do I keep tormenting myself? Why can't I stay away from his movies? There's some kind of sick masochistic side of me just devoted to killing myself slowly with his ineptitude - isn't worth any more of my time, here's everything I tweeted while "watching" it. It says it all.

"Oh my GOD there were, people, lots of people, that argued the 3rd Transformers movie wasn't homicide for your eyeballs. SHAME ON THEM ALL. Every time I think Ive died + gone to hell a false angel shaped like Frances McDormand brings me back just long enough. Alright FUCK THIS SHIT Bill O'Reilly just showed up I am OUT OF HERE."

I then turned the movie off for ten minutes, went and had a very stiff drink, and (regrettably) came back.

"Wait is that Leonard Nimoy voicing Septictank Prime? Pretty sure everybodys script just had the title on it + they were told to improvise from there since they keep saying DARK SIDE OF THE MOON: "Hey look, it's a TRANSFORMER! Did you hear that something happened on the DARK SIDE OF THE MOON???!" says everyone. In an alternate cut of this movie, every single bone in Shia's body was just smashed into a trillion little crumbs, and it ended. Sigh. Okay this pissy bitch slappy spitting fight between Shia and Patrick Dempsey is kind of hot. Okay I'm pretty sure that Transformers 3 just alluded to the Holocaust and the Challenger explosion in a five minute period. Next up, 9/11? This movie needs a lot more of Frances McDormand listening intently to Shia delivering a line and then just saying, "What?" Brain... defeated... cannot... form... pithy... Twitter... witticisms... just want... to die..."

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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:

A Knight's Tale (2001)

William: Oi sir, what are you doing?
Chaucer: Uh... trudging. You know, trudging? To trudge:
the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who
has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on.

Fun fact! Geoffrey Chaucer first told The Cantebury Tales in the court of King Richard II on this day 695 years ago. Hurrah for fine literature! How could he have known that he'd be the literal butt...

... of a joke in an anachronistic (and strangely enjoyable) hipsters-of-the-round-table romance projected onto a magical screen hundreds of years later for it? I dare say he could not know this thing. I think he would've thought it awfully funny though, the bawdy devil.

In summation, Paul Bettany should never wear clothes.

Out of respect for history, of course.

All Over Alan

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Alan Tudyk has really been putting it all and I mean it all out there for this show Suburgatory, hasn't he? Last I posted he was prancing around in a teensy little red speedo, and now he and co-star Jeremy Sisto are hanging out and I mean hanging out in steam rooms and wrestling and all manner of good homoerotic goodness. (pics via)

I should probably watch the show, then? I keep being driven away by the fact that I have no idea how to pronounce the name. Sue burger torry? Wha? Isn't "Tudyk" enough of a tongue-twister already? Man alive! See more after the jump...

Hunka Hunka Vampire Hunter

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(via) This picture is literally months and months and months old, but somehow I'd missed it until just now - that's super big and tall hot-piece and Streep son-in-law Benjamin Walker as a young Abraham Lincoln all set to slay some vamps in Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer, the adaptation of the same titled book directed by Wanted director Timur Bekmambetov and co-starring my boyfriend Dominic Cooper, my other boyfriend Rufus Sewell, and my other other boyfriend Alan Tudyk. That is not to mention my other other other boyfriend Benjamin Walker, of course. This was a complicated set for me to visit! Lots of dodging in and out of doors and holding a newspaper over my face comically. Hi-jinks!

Anyway obviously Daniel Day-Lewis and Steven Spielberg had best just give up their Lincoln bio-pic, because the definitive story is already being told by someone else. Pack it up, losers!

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil in 150 Words or Less

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The idea behind Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is pretty golden - what if the hillbilly rednecks always getting blamed for killing teenagers in horror movies were actually the ones being tormented by judgmental teenagers jumping to conclusions - and it keeps the movie chugging along for a good long while with some top notch high hilarity. Alan Tudyk - who fills out his hillbilly overalls nicely - and Tyler Labine make for an amusing duo, like Laurel and Hardy meets Deliverance. Just smear some Sam Raimi and Shaun of the Dead on top. There's even a "Pancakes!" shout-out! It loses some steam towards the end and somehow ends up feeling a little long at just 89 minutes, but I'd be up for Tucker and Dale Vs. Other Things. Maybe they could team up with Bruce Campbell and fight Bubba Nosferatu!

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I Am Link

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--- Great Scott - Sometimes I think to myself, Self, hello. Adam Scott really couldn't be any more awesome and deserving of the crush the world has on him, could he?" And then I reajavascript:void(0)d an interview with him like say today's in TimeOut and I realize that I've been such a dreary fool, of course he can be, and of course he will, time over and time again, he is incapable of being anything but the most awesome and adorable lollipop-headed man ever. He also says the Party Down movie is at like a 90% going-to-happen, which yay! I keep seeing all these mentions of there being a cult for that show now and it just pisses me off, though. I would like to enter into evidence all my posts on the show, even from before it even started airing back when we thought Paul Rudd would be on it. Fuck y'all people that didn't support it from Day 1! You're why it's not on anymore, I hate you!

--- Hillbilly Handfishin' - Speaking of adorable men who you fall back in love with every time you read an interview with them (or see them in a red speedo, for that matter) STYD chatted up Alan Tudyk whose supposedly-hysterical horror-comedy Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil is out in limited release and on VOD today.

--- Pro Frills - Glenn made sweet love to some images from the BluRay of Kelly Reichardt's gorgeously-shot Meek's Cutoff over at Stale Popcorn and reminded me how much I loved that shot of Zoe Kazan's costume blowing around her head like the frill on a dilophosaurus Frill-necked lizard.

--- D Is For Decapitation - Been hearing about The ABCs of Death for awhile now - it's an anthology horror movie where 26 different horror directors will each be assigned a word about death from a letter of the alphabet (A is for Asphyxiation!) to make a horror short about. These things are always hit or miss and it's often the directors you're most excited to see within that are doing the missing but looking at the just-finalized list of directors I'm still excited all the same. Ti West, Simon Rumley, Angela Bettis, Xavier Gens, Andrew Traucki and Nacho Vigalondo to name just a few!

--- Jewel of the Defile - Why is this still being mentioned, as if it might happen? Don't they know that if they try to remake Romancing the Stone with Gerry Butler and Katherine Heigl the people will rise up and burn Hollywood to the ground? Why don't they know that? We need to let them know this. There's only so far we can be pushed before we start pushing back!

--- Milk Made - I didn't really like the baby-horror movie Grace that much as a whole but I can't honestly say that I don't think of the movie whenever breast-feeding comes up in conversation (which obviously happens all the time) so it left a mark, at least. It's director Paul Solet is lining up his next movie and STYD's got the info. It sounds kind of stupid, like The Strangers meets Hostel.

--- All That Spazz - At first I didn't think I'd have much interest in the gimmicky movie The Artist - a black-and-white silent film made in 2011 - but I'm actually starting to come around to the idea. At least, like Nat says in his take on the just-released trailer, it seems to be a genuine love-letter to movie-making, even if singing and dancing has never been my cuppa. I'm probably gonna check it out at NYFF so we'll see. It doesn't hurt that it stars ?, who we've already lusted over here before. Looker!

--- Hey Coop - According to Michael Ian Black everybody but his boning-partner Bradley Cooper have made it known that they would totally do a Wet Hot American Summer sequel. Black also talks about that gay sex scene exactly the way I wish every actor would talk about such things.

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Point That Thing This Way, Alan Tudyk

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(via)

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Paranormal 3 & 2011's Remaining Horror Slate

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I was a big fan of the first Paranormal Activity movie (my review). I know it wasn't everybody's cuppa but I loved the slow build and the way it forced you to just stare and stare at a static image until you thought your brain would snap from the tension. In the way that The Blair Witch Project mastered its teeny tiny budget through an electrifyingly creative manipulation of its sound-design so I felt that PA pulled a similar trick with its rigid visuals, turning a limitation to their favor.

Unfortunately the second film mucked it all up (my review). There were too many cameras around the house that they kept editing between, slicing any mounting tension up into ineffectual ribbons.

Plus the characters went way too far above and beyond the call of unbearable douchiness. Micah and Katie were deeply flawed characters in the first film - some might call them, and many did, monstrously annoying - but the movie was smart about it, I thought, and seemed to have built their less-than-savory aspects inextricably into the tale they were telling. Their passive-aggressive relationship became a game of one-upmanship and the final frame brought the game, and the camera and the home, crashing down. The awful people in the second movie were just ciphers with no interaction between who they were and what was happening to them. The film never found a purpose, and ended up treading stale steps in the first film's much more successful wake.

Point! We now have a teaser trailer for the third film.

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(via) So it's a prequel way back to the 1980s with the two sisters as little girls who've got access to what would have been at the time super-expensive crystal clear video technology. Mkay. What makes me most sad about this is we won't get to see any more of Micah.

Bye Micah! You were a sexy asshole. The most curious thing here is the fact that this is coming from Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, the directors that made last year's buzzy curiosity Catfish (my review), the questionable documentary of a slightly adorable dorky New York douche getting caught up in a sad lady's Facebook espionage. I was pro-Catfish for the most part but didn't really keep up with it once it came out and people began picking it apart.

Anyway I am curious to see what these chaps might bring to the Paranormal table. Catfish was sold as a horror movie but really didn't end up being that at all. But it still managed to wring a lot of tension from that curiosity before you knew what was coming. I vividly remember being freaked out when Nev & Co. get to that horse-farm late at night and are peering through the darkened windows of the barn. So they can maybe handle suspense? I guess we'll see. PA3 is out on October 21st...

... which is a date that's making my brain question a question: What horror movies are we getting for Halloween this year? The Saw franchise is blessedly over and blessedly done with its nearly-decade-long campaign of ruining the holiday, and I thought we were getting Cabin in the Woods but as we found out this morning it turns out that's not coming out until April.

So as long as this is on our brain, let's take a look-see at all the major horror movies coming out between now and All Hallows. (There will probably be smaller films that will get scheduled between now and then that we're unawares of just yet.)

-- The only horror movie out before July is over - if you don't count The Smurfs - is the "teenage British thugs vs. aliens" movie Attack the Block on July 29th, which I reviewed right here. I had a fairly complicated reaction to the film and I'm still sort of plagued by it. Fantastic monster design and some wonderfully staged action scenes though, even if I'm not sure they didn't ruin everything with an erratic tone and possibly irredeemable main characters.

-- In August we get Final Destination 5 on the 12th and the Fright Night remake on the 19th. I've stopped writing about the latest FD movie because I can't look at any more trailers or pictures, I don't want to spoil anymore of the deaths than I already did with the first trailer, but I wanna see this like crazy, like I do with every installment. I hump this series to death. I think Fright Night looks generally terrible but Toni Collette and Sexy Vampire Colin Farrell might get me there anyway.

-- The Guillermo Del Toro produced remake of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark starring the soulless Katie Holmes and the asstastic Guy Pearce is out on August 26th.

-- Shark Night 3D - from the director of two Final Destination movies, including my favorite the second one! - is out on September 2nd. The trailer for this movie is just absolutely awful, but my FD-loving brain keeps arguing with me about it. Whole conversations have been had inside of my head! Crazy ones!

-- Also on September 2nd comes Apollo 18, which is "Blair Witch on the Moon." Space horror isn't done often enough if you ask me - it don't get much more isolated than that! I hope there's a shot of someone being killed reaching towards Earth in the sky for help. That'd be neat-o.

-- September 9th brings us Contagion, Steven Soderbergh's global pandemic movie with an impressively starry and serious cast. Winslet, Paltrow, Law, Damon, Cotillard, and wait what's this John Hawkes! Love him.

-- The closest thing to horror on September 16th is the Straw Dogs remake but that might just be terrifying us because of the basic fact that they remade Straw Dogs. It does have lots of violence and rape though so close enough. But it also has Alexander Skarsgard and Jimmy Marsden swanning around half-naked and there's nothing scary about that. Stimulating, yes. Intimidating, definitely. But certainly not anything even approaching scary.

-- Dream House, which we just saw the shirtless-Daniel-Craig-ified trailer for yesterday, is out on September 30th.

-- As is Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil, the supposedly pretty funny horror-comedy starring Alan Tudyk and Reaper's Tyler Labine as two innocent hillbillies caught up in bloody shenanigans. I think the idea is that they get mistaken for serial killers by a bunch of stupid vacationing college kids who then try to kill them as if they're in a horror movie fighting off Jason Voorhees. And it's a really fun idea.

-- The Thing remake is out on October 14th. We just saw the first trailer for that last week. Love the cast and want it to be good but it has been sitting around gathering dust for a little while now. That could just be due to factors other than its worth though - I think, like Cabin in the Woods, it got held up due to studio problems.

-- Also out that same day, at least in limited release, is The Skin I Live In. It's Pedro Almodovar's newest movie. It reunites him with 80s man-muse Antonio Banderas, and it's apparently very dark and very creepy. The teaser trailer scared me. All of these things are making me want it something insane.

-- On October 21st, the same day as PA3 is out, Kevin Smith's Red State finally gets a proper release after Smith toured the country earlier this year with it. But from what I hear it's not really the horror movie it's been sold to be either?

-- Same day, another indie weirdo cult movie (as in a movie about a cult) that got talk at Sundance - Martha Marcy May Marlene also isn't really a horror movie in the oogie-boogie slobbery monster sense but it's supposedly pitch-black and horrifying in its own way. Plus it has John Hawkes again and I will mention him whenever I can. Hi again John Hawkes!

As of right now there's apparently nothing scary scheduled for October 28th, which seems bonkers. Expect something to pick up the slack, I imagine. After Halloween we're into Oscar season so there's not as much spooky scheduled - I refuse to categorize the Twilight movies as horror (except for what they say about our culture); Piranha 3DD is supposedly out on November 23rd - perfect for taking Grandma to over Thanksgiving holiday!; David Fincher's Girl With the Dragon Tattoo movie will presumably be pretty horrific a la Straw Dogs with the violence (a lot specifically of a sexual nature) and the throbbing NIN techno; The Darkest Hour has Emile Hirsch fighting killer aliens.   

What are you looking forward to seeing?

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Somebody Needs To Stop Me

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Seriously, somebody talk me out of this. I just found out I have tomorrow off from work and I can feel my brain convincing me that I should waste my afternoon by going to see Transformers 3. Michael Bay movies make me crazy. CRAZY. Every single one of them. They make me rue the existence of life itself. And yet I am drawn to them, over and over again, like some sort of brain-damaged masochist. I forced myself to stop with Transformers 2 - that's another thing: I've never seen the second film, however will I keep up with the plot? - in the wake of its "worst film ever made" reviews even from the fan-boys, but now everybody's saying T3's 3D is the best since Avatar and I do really dig the image of that snake robot crushing the building that's in the trailer and Frances McDormand and Alan Tudyk as, and I quote, "a gay ex-Nazi manservant in a weird suit," and ACK make me stop!

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poll by twiigs.com

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