Quote of the Day

Danish director Christian Tafdrup (seen above, what a babe!) who made the 2022 original Speak No Evil -- a film I consider a horror masterpiece (here is my review from when it screened at Sundance that year) -- has spoken out now that he's seen the remake starring James McAvoy, and his words are... incredibly similar to what I said in my review of the remake earlier this week. He was not happy! Now there are spoilers for the endings of both movies in what he says, so if you haven't seen them I suggest not reading this. And also I suggest you go watch the original movie right now -- it's easy to access, it's streaming on Shudder and rentable everywhere else. Anyway a hearty hear hear to all he says:

"I don’t know what it is about Americans, but they are brought up for a heroic tale, where the good must win over the bad, and this version of the film cultivates that,” Tafdrup complained. He went on to say that the changes that were made to the film made it feel “less dangerous,” and more sanitized for American consumption. "When I saw the film yesterday, I could see that they would never succeed with a film where the characters are stoned to death, as they do in our film. These people [in the U.S. version] must fight for their family and defeat the bad guys […] It is a kind of happy ending, and it is so deep in their culture that America must be able to handle it all." Comparing audience reactions, Tafdrup said he witnessed audiences leaving the remake “who were completely over-enthusiastic and clapped, laughed and whooped. It was like being at a rock concert” while he recalled how “people…left my film traumatized.”

Speak No McAvoy

I know you're all very busy looking at that photo of James McAvoy, but eyes down here! I have just reviewed the movie that that photo is from -- the remake of Speak No Evil which hit theaters this past weekend -- and you can read my thoughts right now over at Pajiba. As an enormous fan of the 2022 original (here is that review) I couldn't even pretend that I wasn't going into this one unbiased, so I speak a lot about both films in there -- my gist, or my truth if you will (please don't), is that you should all see the original first and then decide later if you're up for a less fanged version down the road. There's stuff that works in the new one (a great cast in general) but I just found it on all fronts to be the less interesting take at every turn. Well okay not the beefcake take -- James McAvoy had that one in the bag from the moment the first picture was revealed. 

Speak No Clothing

I love that the press people behind the remake of Speak No Evil know that sexy scary James McAvoy is the reason to see their movie (see also the beefcake-riddled trailer) and they're leaning really hard into it -- they released a featurette for the film yesterday and it's like 90% beefcake shots of James; even the scenes of him sitting on set speaking directly to the camera are in his chest-baring lumberjack-wear that's basically a 70s gay porn video come to life: 

We dig it! I do the movie some disservice though, saying it's entirely about James' heaving cleavage that we care -- we do love Scoot McNairy and Mackenzie Davis (Halt and Catch Fire reunion holla!) and the original film is a horror classic in the making (here is my review). And I have heard some stuff about the remake from people in the know that's made me more hopeful than I had been. We will see soon enough -- it's out on September 13th! Here is that new featurette:

Come & Get Me, Mad James McAvoy

Granted it's been a couple of years since I saw the original Speak No Evil (it's not really the kind of movie you're dying to watch over and over again -- here's my review of that one) but I do not recall the character in that film that James McAvoy is playing in the remake being played as the sexiest psychopath motherfucker on the planet... 

... and yet here we are. James Watkins' 2024 remake is leaning in hard -- emphasis on yeah that's right you guess it -- on James McAvoy's big-time sex appeal, to the point where they're making me dizzy. Like this one's on me and my weird fetishes but yesterday they dropped this photo...

This picture is SO HOT https://t.co/l6gBZktrz1

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) July 23, 2024

... that was hitting all my buttons, with his bloody bulging flannelled up beefcake monster hotness searing itself into my eyes. And now the second trailer they've dropped is like a smorgasborg of said same. James McAvoy rage porn ahoy!

I still think remaking this movie is a goofy ass idea when the original is so darkly terrifying and I don't have the inclination to believe that an American remake will go for it quite so hard, but I guess we'll see when it's out on September 13th. Also... the trailers have given away basically everything at this point, so if you're trying to not know what this movie is about I wish you the best of luck. Just don't watch the trailers? That said... here is the new trailer:

Don't watch it! Indeed I did y'all a favor and made gifs of every shot of James McAvoy being hot in it so you don't have to watch it -- hit the jump and luxuriate in all of the sexy sexy rage...

Some TV Stuff

Did any of you watch Charlie Cox's series Kin on AMC? I posted about it exactly once last August, and I watched exactly one episode, and then completely forgot about it. It wasn't because I thought it wasn't good -- I just forgot. Our brains have been through a lot lately, alright? And there's a lot of TV happening besides. Anyway I was reminded of Kin because apparently not everyone was as absent-minded as me and the show actually got renewed for a second season this week. So I am guessing some of you watched it! We do love Charlie, as we've made clear for a very long time, so I should probably circle back and give it another go. The show also starred Emmet Scanlan, another furry British fave of ours. That said it would appear, via some brief investigations on my part, that Charlie only took his shirt off once and it was extremely dark, so they need to do better next time around. Do better, Kin! (Sidenote: Charlie's telling EW today that we should very much expect to see him showing up in the MCU again after his surprise cameo in the last Spider-Man. Busy busy boy, just how we like it)

Some other TV news -- Jake Gyllenhaal's 2012 movie End of Watch (oh my god, how is that movie a decade old), which saw him playing a bald-headed police officer alongside a not-bald-headed Michael Peña as his partner and followed them, Found Footage style, over the course of one hellish night, is being turned into a series by FOX. David Ayer, who went on to make a truly terrible Suicide Squad movie -- sidenote: have you seen the "Release the Ayer Cut" nonsense happening all of a sudden? Good grief -- directed the film and will apparently have some writing duties at least on this series, but I think we can all safely assume that neither Gyllenhaal nor Peña will be returning for the show. I haven't seen EOW in awhile and don't remember how it ends (maybe I'll rewatch it this weekend) but I do know (spoiler alert) that it involves supernatural forces, so I'm guessing this series is going to be capitalizing on that show Evil, which is doing well right? I don't watch it but I kinda wish I did, it sounds fun.

Anyway I haven't been bringing up TV enough lately -- what are y'all watching that you like? I have been watching a ton -- I'm currently switching around between Station Eleven, The Gilded Age (I did mention that one), Somebody Somewhere, my screeners of the new season of Russian Doll and the limited series Joe vs Carole, (don't ask, I can't say anything), oh and I watch one episode of the last season of PEN15 about once a month in order to draw that amazing show out for as long as I possibly can. Station Eleven is superb by the way, if anybody's not watching that.

Happiest For Whom

I don't know how to properly introduce this piece at the moment without being super weird about it (I'd probably be better at it if I wasn't trying to do it at 5pm on a Friday when I'm already blown out) but here goes: I have a great big and pretty personal essay that just went live over at Pajiba this evening where I get into why I think the character of Harper in Clea DuVall's Hulu holiday rom-com Happiest Season -- that'd be the one played by Mackenzie Davis -- has been getting too much hate from the internet in the wake of the film's release last week. I know, I know -- Hate is what the internet is good at! Just thought I'd throw my ten cents in on the other side since I felt a lot of her character's pain personally. Feel free to click on over and read it! (Oh and the above pic comes via Interview Magazine, where they have a nice chat with Davis & her Tully co-star Charlize Theron that touches lots of the subjects I broach in my piece.) And now I have to step away from the internet because writing things this personal even just here on MNPP always takes lots out of me but for Pajiba's larger audience I am faintly terrified.

The Happiest Lesbians

I don't know about you but after a million weepy gay movies watching this here trailer (down below) for Happiest Season -- a bright cinnamon-and-peppermint flavored holiday rom-com starring Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie "Mackenzie Davis!!!" Davis as girlfriends going home for the holidays -- feels like an invigorating shot straight into the stockings and holly jollies. See our previous posts here; this was directed by and co-stars Clea Duvall, alongside a ton of People We Adore, people named Dan Levy and Alison Brie and Mary Steenburgen and Victor Garber and Aubrey Plaza and delicious Jake McDornan and Mary Holland and Ana Gasteyer, and it hits Hulu on November 25th. Watch:

We Wish You a Merry Lesbian

People Magazine has gifted us with our first look at Happiest Season, the X-mas rom-com starring Mackenzie Davis and Kristen Stewart as a couple who go, you guessed it, home for the holidays. (Aren't you proud of me that I didn't say Homo For the Holidays? Oh wait dammit just did. We are gonna hear that joke so many times in December.) The movie was directed by beloved homosexual icon and Faculty goth Clea Duvall -- I told you about it previously right on here, because YES I WANT THIS YES. Not to mention that co-starring opposite our gals-who-love-gals here is a cast of thousands of watts of talent, including Alison Brie, Dan Levy, Aubrey Plaza, Mary Steenbergen, Victor Garber, the hot piece that is Jake McDornan, and Duvall herself. You can see one more photo at People which has several of those folks in it -- I just wanted to focus on our ladies! Ladies lovin' ladies and the gay men who love 'em on their blogs, that's what's happening here!

5 Off My Head: Queen Charlize

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Tomorrow the queen called Charlize will be turning 45 years awesome, and since I won't be online tomorrow -- Summer Fridays dontcha know -- I feel like celebrating her today. I've watched three Charlize movies during quarantine -- a re-watch of Mad Max Fury Road (yup still kicks all kinds of unholy arse) plus first-time viewings of her new Netflix joint The Old Guard (which I totally dug) and last year's political rom-com Long Shot with Seth Rogen, which was far funnier than I anticipated. I should've known those two wouldn't shovel shit in my face and tell me to smile. Anyway I was a little shocked after a cursory glance through our archives told me I've never done this before but there's no time like the present...

My 5 Favorite Charlize Performances

Aileen Wuornos, Monster (2003)

"I always wanted to be in the movies."

Furiosa, Mad Max Fury Road (2015)

"Out here everything hurts."

Marlo, Tully (2018)

"People used to eat flour back then."

Lorraine Broughton, Atomic Blonde (2017)

"I'm my own bitch now!"

Mavis Gary, Young Adult (2011)

"Theater fag is an expression, Buddy."

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What's your fave Charlize?

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Four To Die For

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I can feel myself running dangerously behind on getting my thoughts down on several movies I've watched and liked and want to get my thoughts down on, before all of said thoughts go poof poof boom. And so, in order to battle off that memorial degradation, I'm now going to do one of my quick review run-throughs. Wham bam fast thoughts, go.

Girl on the Third Floor (dir. Travis Stevens) -- This movie is an absolute goopy squicky and dare I say sexy blast, and I feel a little betrayed that none of you told me to see it immediately. I've had the screener for literal months, since it screened at the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival, but it kept slipping through the (gooey, vaguely anatomical) cracks until this past weekend, and as far as I'm concerned now that I have seen it I have a new classic fave I'm going to be revisiting often. 

WWE star C.M. Punk, a sultry mix of Bruce Campbell & James Ransone rocking the snuggest pair of dad-khakis you ever done seen and who this movie leers at like a prime slab of tattooed beef -- I was entirely unaware of him before this but I am now fairly to wildly besmitten by him -- plays Don, a husband and father-to-be who's moved into a small-town fixer-upper a few weeks early to do the fixer-upping before his wife comes to town. Turns out the house has a bad bad dirty down-low and poisoned history, one that begins manifesting itself in all kind of goopy white sprays of liquid onto Don's face. And yes, it's every bit as disgustingly eroticially charged as that sounds. This movie feels like Clive Barker's Evil Dead, and I loved every slimy perverted and sick minute.

Birds of Prey (dir. Cathy Yan) -- About as much fun as I have had with any superhero movie since the Marvel Age of Ultra Dominance began. I'll probably always prefer the older simpler school a la Richard Donner's Superman or Tim Burton's Batman Returns and up through Sam Raimi's Spider-man oh my, but in our current age of loud comic book theatrics this is about as good as they get. Which is good! Very good! It even somehow makes Suicide Squad look better in retrospect, just for the act joining Margot Robbie up with the character of Harley Quinn, even though I say that without any intention of ever sitting through Suicide Squad again in my entire life sans gun or hammer or hyena held to my head. 

They should take this fun can-do psycho attitude off and make a Captain Boomerang movie too, so I can enjoy and properly appreciate that film's other great casting coup (and I love that Jai is, as far as I noticed, the only SS character to get a nod here by Harley). Anyway I'll let the female critics further underline and accentuate all of the smarts and fun this thing has with taking a baseball bat to boy's club, but the film earns those feminist accolades and then some. And then the gang struts right past didacticism to also be just a riot of good time entertainment, full of pop and fizz and punches to the nuts. This is how you do it.

The Turning (dir. Floria Sigismondi) -- Much to my Mackenzie-loving chagrin Floria Sigismondi's reworking of Henry James' classic story of a nanny's adolescent hauntings doesn't really work. But there's something gorgeous and sad about it all the same that I admire, and the vague ending-less ending, which is what I've seen the most maligned, might actually be my favorite bit? If you want atmosphere, nothing but atmosphere, this isn't a bad way to get it -- Sigismondi has crafted an astonishingly pretty thing. And ghost stories as far as I'm concerned should feel unfinished and underwater, which is what I feel frustrated a lot of people here. I might be talking myself into liking this more than it deserves, but it sure didn't deserve that ridiculous F-grade Cinemascore rating it got. I feel as if people will rediscover this at home where they'll be more patient, more willing to soak in its murky stew.

Satanic Panic (dir. Chelsea Stardust) -- Another horror gem of 2019 that heretofore slithered by me unnoticed before now - I did a randomly decided upon double-feature of this with Girl on the Third Floor which led to a whole lotta surprise pulsating vagina things in one sitting. But I'm down with that! More surprise pulsating vaginas, please! They liven things up. This is basically the movie that I had hoped the failed not-a-slasher slasher flick Slice was going to be but wasn't, only instead of having a pizza delivery dude fighting a plain ol' serial murderer we've got a pizza delivery gal named Sam Craft (played by a totally charming Hayley Griffith) facing down a suburb fulla cornball sexy Satanists. Cornball sexy Satanists led by Rebecca Romijn not-Stamos at her cornball Femme-Fatale sexiest! Satanic Panic is a heckuva Haxan hoot.

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The Terminator of the Screw

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These are a few of my favorite things: Mackenzie Davis, tweeds, old-fashioned bookshelves, little goth boys stomping on half-dead fish heads, long coats in autumnal colors, the little girl from The Florida Project, Henry James, milky baths, Floria Sigismondi the incredibly cool director of The Runaways and that NYT Video starring Goth Timmy, monsters, contemptible housekeepers, overhead shots of automobiles stolen straight from The Shining, the malignant scribblings of a deranged mind...

Here are a few of my least favorite things: 

motherfucking spiders in my mouth.

So I'm torn! On the one hand, everything, and on the other, that shot of that goddamned spider which is going to give me nightmares for weeks. Below y'all watch the just released trailer for The Turning -- a movie we've been wanting ever since it was announced a couple of years back -- and let me know in the comments your own particular thoughts...

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The Turning is out on January 24th.

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Good Morning, World

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Diego Boneta was photographed for this month's issue of Esquire Mexico which gives us a good excuse to check in with Diego Boneta -- aka finally post the pictures of him earlier this summer wearing a speedo on the beach and getting real excited with his girlfriend. But before that -- I had no idea Diego is in Terminator: Dark Fate until I just looked at his IMDb page. Is he in the trailers? I never noticed him. My eyes were full of Mackenzie Davis though. Anyway it's too early for all of these sentences I am typing, let me go finish my coffee while you hit the jump for the rest of this shoot and them there speedo snaps I told ya about previous...

It's a Dark Fate For Everybody These Days

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I'm real worried about Terminator: Dark Fate having its own, dare I say it, I dare, dark fate. There've been whispers of production troubles, and that first trailer was not the one. Normally I wouldn't care -- Genisys was so lousy and never showed us Jai Courtney's butt, thereby breaking my will -- but with Mackenzie Davis starring this time around, and with Linda Hamilton back, it's hard not to. Anyway I think the new trailer they released last week is a bit of an improvement...

... and not just because we get to see some of the lovely Gabriel Luna reenacting the infamous "I am here, I am deadly, and I am butt ass naked!" scene out of all the Terminator movies. So fingers crossed they can finally right this mangled franchise -- it started out so well; it deserves a fine finish. (Although who are we kidding, if this one is successful in any way shape or form there will be another Terminator movie out before we can say "Mackenzie Davis needs a vacation home in the Seychelles" two times fast. Dark Fate hits us on November 1st.

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Little Buggers Schnockered, Son of a Bitch

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I was all set to say that all these years in having heard the name Imogen Poots -- not really a name you miss -- and I still had no idea what work I actually knew her for, but then I looked at her IMDb page and remembered that she was in, and was excellent, in Green Room, a movie I deeply adore, and I decided to stuff a sock in my snark's filthy mouth. She has cred left over from that still.

Anyway Poots is on my lips because of today's big horror news, which is that Blumhouse is going to try their hand at remaking Bob Clark's horror holiday classic Black Christmas again, which immediately raised them hackles... until I saw who they'd hired to direct. They have hired Sophia Takal, the director of my beloved film Always Shine from 2016, which starred...

... my beloved Mackenzie Davis and Caitlin FitzGerald as two actresses whose friendship was based more on competition than any actual bond who found themselves deteriorating a la Persona over a long weekend in the woods. Here is my ol' review -- that is a good ass movie.

If you recall Blumhouse made some news last year-ish over their shitty hiring practices with regards to female directors and Jason Blum stepped in it with some comments he made -- they then hired Takal to direct an episode of their horror anthology series Into the Dark; I reviewed her episode right here, it's worth seeking out. Anyway I guess they all liked working together and now she's graduated on up to the feature division, as well she oughta.

Now we just turn our eyes to the rest of the cast, since Black Christmas is such a group thing taking place in a sorority house full of young ladies, and we must wonder... who the hell could they possibly get to replace Margot Kidder? Good luck, whoever!

ETA oh and look they dropped a teaser poser already:

Killer Cyborgs From The Future

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Didn't realize how hard I needed to see Mackenzie Davis wearing a wife-beater whilst doing ridiculous flips on the back of moving vehicles until the trailer for the new Terminator movie arrived this morning -- but I do, need it, hard. That sounded sexual? It's not really, although Mack's butch enough here (slash always) to give me pause. Anyway all these thoughts and more can be had over at The Film Experience where I went to town on the trailer this afternoon, so now you go to town and read that, please.

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Halt and Catch Politicians

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While this news isn't as exciting as the news that she's going to co-star opposite Kristen Stewart in a lesbian rom-com, it's still "hey Mackenzie Davis got another job!" news and we're here for it every damn time it happens. Mackenzie is going to star in Jon Stewart's upcoming political comedy Irresistible opposite Steve Carell as a strategist trying to get a dude elected mayor in a small Wisconsin town. One assumes that Carell plays said dude but the source isn't clear -- the film will also star Chris Cooper and Rose Byrne. That's a great cast already! Rose Byrne in another comedy -- huzzah! Anyway I never was the world's biggest Daily Show fan but I'm glad Jon Stewart's decided to reinsert his voice into the world. We could use all the help we can get.

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Halt and Catch Terminators

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A happy 32 to the great and greater by the minute Mackenzie Davis -- very soon we'll see her fighting a goddamned Terminator, you guys! I mean sure Lee Pace kind of played his character in Halt and Catch Fire like that but I mean a real killer robot opposite Linda Hamilton and shit. That's nuts. Anyway today's "Beauty vs Beast" over at The Film Experience is in her celebratory honor today so click on over for some Tully love. And in summation...

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Google Image Search just put these two pictures together and NOW I AM LOST pic.twitter.com/wG2WwulXWp

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) April 1, 2019

Halt and Catch Lesbians

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I say this every time I see her in anything -- and I see her in a lot of things because it's at the point where I will watch anything she is in, I love her so -- but Mackenzie Davis is always the best thing about whatever she's in. She had fierce competition for that title in Halt and Catch Fire (sigh, I still miss Halt and Catch Fire every single day, you guys) against her three co-leads but her Cameron Howe was always aggressively complicated, going against every expectation you'd make - Davis kept finding ways to make you crazy fascinated with her after four seasons and endless time-leaps; decades of intimate human discovery buried under a hundred attention-grabbing hair-dos. She is, and I don't use this phrase lightly, the bee's knees.

So imagine my reaction upon reading last night's news that Mackenzie's set to star in a rom-com opposite Kristen Stewart! As in they are the ones rom-comming, together. it was something like fireworks... hell, it was as good as the sex scene in The Hunger, you guys. The movie's called Happiest Season and it's directed by ever-talented actress Clea Duvall (I hope she shows up on Veep this season still) and it sounds kind of like a lesbian Birdcage, in that it's about a woman planning on proposing marriage to her girlfriend over the holidays only to find out on an in-law holiday-trip that said girlfriend hasn't come out to her conservative parents yet. I'm not sure if it will involve Kristen Stewart going full Drag King directly a la The Birdcage or anything, I have my doubts on that matter, but who knows? Crazier shit's happened, y'all.
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Poof It Up

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Even though my internet access has been spotty at best this week I did manage to write up a list of things I'm grateful for in 2018 movies for The Film Experience today -- click on over to take a gander at a few things I felt fit to highlight, including that dapper fop up top. I never got, sexually speaking, the elaborate frippery of powdered poofs until I saw Nicky Hoult take it on... and now I got myself a brand new fantasy.

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