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I can't even give this post a title. I'm too f!@#ing upset.

Denali is fine before your heart jumps in your mouth.

The vet called me this morning to discuss Denali's leg. She didn't seem to think that there was anything in there and asked me if she could do some more x-rays on it. "Sure!"

A little while later she calls and asks if she can ultrasound it. "Um. Yeah?"

A little while later she calls me to tell me that they're not going to do the surgery after all. Denali tore a ligament (don't remember which one, and too upset to go find her discharge papers) away from the bone, and since here body is trying to heal it they didn't want to go in. It's one of the stabilizing ones.

She said that doing shock wave could help do something (I don't remember what, I think it has to do with resurfacing the area) to keep her sound "for now." For now!? What in the hell. She said that Denali will quickly develop arthritis in that joint and that down the road that injections will help, and possibly fusing the bones in the joint. How !@#$ing Awesome is that!? Shock Wave should slow down the development of arthritis. I put this picture on my facebook and right away someone made a comment of "Oh DO I Have stories of Shockwave and Pilchuck." That's such an appropriate thing to say to someone who JUST had it done (insert upset sarcasm here.)

Know what that means??!

Anyone? Anyone remember how AWESOME my insurance is? I'd love to offer a cash reward, but I don't have any of that anymore.

It means that I get the vet bill. All $1,330.30 of it. Oh how !@#$ great is that! Because I totally have it laying around. Best part? We get to do it again in 2 weeks. UGH!

Worst part? I honestly don't know if I can send her to Pegasus anytime soon. This Vet bill wasn't expected (remember that thing called insurance? Yeah, I expected them to pay.) I know that people should have money saved up for emergencies, and we DID, and then EPM happened, this happened, and the torn suspsensory happened.

Thanks for everyone's concerns and well wishes! Denali got them all. She was a good girl on the way home and HATES, HATES, HATES the wraps on her legs. They come off tomorrow, so that's good!

I need to go find things to sell.... wish me luck!

Nervous Wreck

Sleepy Denali hand-walking this morning. She's not a morning person either!

I was fine. I really was fine up to now. Now. Now I'm a nervous wreck. So much so that Opheila's mom's boyfriend joined me in my run to the gas station this evening and sequential consumption of over 50 grams of fat (Sugar Wafers are evil!!) I'm a nervous wreck and I hate it. When I'm nervous I eat. Boo.

Denali was a good girl today. I hand walked her to wear her out, then gave her a bath. She didn't move a muscle. Poor thing, she was so happy to be out of her stall she'd do anything for attention. I got to the barn at 11 and just hung out with Ms. Denali. We had her wrapped and

loaded by 1:30 and were on our way. It was the first time that Ms. Denali balked at the trailer door. She knew something was up and she wasn't going to be a fool. BUT the sweet smell of hay overcame her and she gave in. She was good girl the whole way to Pilchuck.

We got there and I had to give them her medical history. I chuckled nervously as I wrote everything down. The surgeon came out and talked with me and my trainer. She was very nice and walked out with me to get Denali. Denali is great at loading, and trailering, but once it stops she wants out. Now. I opened the trailer and went inside. She tried to back out as soon as i released the divider (I don't know what to call it, it is a 4 horse slant load, so the thing that holds her in place.) She was all tense and I was at least a little confident knowing that as I pet her and talked to her I could feel some of the tension leaving her back. Eventually she calmed down enough that we could back out of the trailer without killing one of us. The vet tech tried tot take her from me, but I asked if I could walk her to her stall. Denali does really well with people she knows and trusts, but sometimes, SOMETIMES, she freaks out and every time she has she has gotten hurt.

The surgeon wasn't sure what exactly is going on with her leg. The xrays show one thing, but I guess from the outside it shows another. She talked about the tests that she wants to do on Denali. I thought to myself "Yeah, those are all great and all, but if you don't cut her open I'm going to have to pay for those because my insurance won't!" I'm a horrible person. All I know is that the surgeon told me that the quote is $3,500 and that is a low estimate. Great, just freaking great!

Ms. Slew weighs in at a whole 1,180 pounds. I wonder what she weighed before she lost all her muscle. She was a very good girl and made a friend with a pretty warmblood mare next door to her.

Denali settled in very quickly into her stall, and quickly made it known that she was in heat. She stood there with her tail flipped up and kept peeing. Oh Denali, must you be a hussy? I reminded Denali that she wasn't there to be bred, kissed her on her nose and left her. Now I'm sitting her waiting for the surgeon to call me to tell me their game plan for tomorrow. I think I'm going to be sick.

Also, Denali and I want to send a get well to Pia who seems to have almost as much luck as Denali does! Pia is having her own spa treatment (for the second time in a month) tomorrow too. Pia and Denali seem to have the same outlook on life in general. Maybe it's a good thing that they are at two different hospitals! :)

Wheres yous goin?