Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Be still.

If I let myself go, but I won't -

Gut wrenching sadness. Grief. Loss. Missing.
Resignation.
Acceptance.

If I don't -

ok most moments.
sudden moments of recollection at odd times, in full clarity like I'm right there. happy moments, that bring sudden tears to my eyes if I'm not careful. Worst in the presence of others. Must be careful.

*****
So are you happy now?

*****
J's been bringing me out a lot these last few days to distract me from... things.

Meeting lots of famous people, my hair a mess because I've been running my hands through it, don't have a clue who they are. It helps a little.

Sometimes I think what a nice place, I've got to bring... then I just stop.

2 comments:

Areia Naraenil said...

It will pass.

:)

Anonymous said...

i wish i could give you a hug, because i felt like that 1 year ago and i still feel like this sometimes. like you, i dream of how happy we were in sydney. like you, i wondered when i would laugh again.