Weird Japanese drinks...

So last summer I went to Soda Pop's with my old boyfriend, and picked up a bottle of bizarre Japanese soda. It's called Ramune, and the bottle is somewhat reminiscent of a blown glass sex toy. Alas, it is a bit too large to actually be USED for this purpose.

It's been sitting in my fridge since July, cause honestly I haven't had the guts to drink it yet. Lets face it- Asians are famous for consuming the grossest shit on the planet. Kombucha, Balut, Kopi Luwak, Natto, Nakji, monkey brains, and Baby Mouse Wine, just to name a few horrifying delicacies. Feel free to Google any of those if you ever need help throwing up. I'm convinced that, in the East, for something to be deemed a 'delicacy' it has to fit into one or more of the following categories:

*rotten
*poisonous
*bugs
*eyeballs
*brains
*animal genitalia
*live animals
*things crapped out by live animals
*things that should never, ever be eaten by any human being under any circumstances

I must warn potential Googlers that many Asian delicacies often involve horrific animal cruelty, so if you're an animal lover like me you might be better off remaining ignorant on how monkey brains & Nakji are traditionally served. I had tears in my eyes after reading about Baby Mouse Wine & Balut. It really makes me wonder- what the @#$% is wrong with the people that eat this stuff. What kind of heartless monster can cook an animal alive, blindly disregarding their suffering, without hating themselves? It's sickening. Yes, some Asians do this. Some animals are cooked & even eaten while still alive, all because some Chinese guy thinks the meat tastes better when cooked this way, or that it'll give him a stronger boner.

But anyway, I digress. With the Asian track record for gross edibles, quite naturally I was wary of this soda. I was afraid it might have nightingale poop, ground up spiders, or cat amniotic fluid in it. But seeing as the ingredients are carbonated water, HFCS, sugar, citric acid, and flavor(though what this 'flavor' consists of is a mystery. It could be anything from lemon juice to human urine), I figured it was probably pretty safe & decided to conquer it once & for all.


The way it's sealed is quite interesting- the bottle is stoppered with a marble, and a plastic opener is attached to the top. To open it, you separate the opener from the packaging, center it on the marble, and push like hell till the marble drops into the bottle.



See the marble?

Pretty neat, I must say. Though actually DRINKING from this bottle was less than efficient. Not only did it feel like I was drinking from a penis(lol), the way the opening is designed, the soda splashes everywhere if you're not careful. I had to put my lips on it & just kind of pour it in my mouth. And I'm sure that somewhere, someone is getting off on that visual. Pervert.

Now, onto the soda itself. It tastes like slightly sweetened carbonated water. I liken it to very watered down Big Red(if you've never tried Big Red soda, then you're missing out). Rather unremarkable, honestly. I expected a bit more of a tongue-punching, judging from the colorful bottle. But overall- palatable, and not that bad.

YAAAY I did it! I drank the bizarre Japanese soda & lived to blog about it.

Resolutions update

Just a quick follow up to document how well I've been keeping my resolutions.

1. Learn math.

Check. I have acquired a math book(see previous entry) and have actually cracked it open!

2. Losing weight.

Check. I am already 4 pounds lighter, w00t. I have all but ceased the consumption of overly fatty foods & soda.

3. Stop self-destructive behaviors.

Check. I have remained unwavering in my shunning of people who have treated me like shit. I am taking supplements religiously too- Standard multivitamins for general health, Hyaluronic acid for my craptastic joints, Cinnamon capsules for metabolism, and Biotin for hair, skin & nails :)

4. Cherishing real friends.

Check and mate. I'm keeping in contact pretty well, IMO. I'm really making a concerted effort to come out of my shell too.

GO ME!!!

10 random things about me.

1. I'm descended from both Vikings & Vlad the Impaler. It is literally impossible for me to NOT be awesome.

2. I'm 29, but I still refuse to cuss or talk about sex in front of my parents.

3. I was born with red hair and blue eyes, and I now have medium brown hair & dark hazel eyes.

4. I walked at 6 months, ran at 8 months, spoke at a year, and knew the order of the planets by the time I was one & a half.

5. I always put on my socks before I put on my pants. I WILL NOT put on pants before socks. Damn OCD.

6. I suffer from dermatillomania. It's a facet of my OCD & in layman's terms- it's skin-picking. God help any zit that dares to spoil my face. My cuticles are always ragged & scabby, and I have chronic dry lips from picking at them so much. It sucks. You have no idea how annoying it is to never be able to sit still & to always feel like you have to be scraping or chewing on something.

7. I have Asperger's syndrome. I don't have a real severe case, but I am on the Autism spectrum. Overall it's not really that bad of a thing to have, honestly. The only parts I really hate are the crippling anti-socialism & extreme emotional sensitivity(I cry REALLY easily over trivial things sometimes). It's also unbelievably hard to sustain a relationship cause its really hard for me to relate to other people. And being the center of attention in public is, to me, more horrifying than being diagnosed with cancer. I get annoyed really easily and have a hard time controlling my temper too.

If ya wanna get technical(and I always do)~

Impaired social reactions are a key component of Asperger's syndrome. People who suffer from this condition find it difficult to develop meaningful relationships with their peers. They struggle to understand the subtleties of communicating through eye contact, body language, or facial expressions and seldom show affection towards others. They are often accused of being disrespectful and rude, since they find they can’t comprehend expectations of appropriate social behavior and are often unable to determine the feelings of those around them. People suffering from Asperger's syndrome can be said to lack both social and emotional reciprocity.

Although Asperger's syndrome is related to autism, people who suffer from this condition do not have other developmental delays. They have normal to above average intelligence and fail to meet the diagnostic criteria for any other pervasive developmental disorder. In fact, people with Asperger's syndrome often show intense focus, highly logical thinking, and exceptional abilities in math or science.

* Average or above average intelligence
* Inability to think in abstract ways
* Difficulties in empathising with others
* Problems with understanding another person's point of view
* Hampered conversational ability
* Problems with controlling feelings such as anger, depression and anxiety
* Adherence to routines and schedules, and stress if expected routine is disrupted
* Inability to manage appropriate social conduct
* Specialised fields of interest or hobbies.

See? It's not that bad.

8. I absolutely love reading smutty fan fiction in my spare time. My favorite pairing is Bella/Jacob, with Draco/Hermione and Snape/Hermione both vying for second. Yes, I'm a sicko ;)

9. I quit shaving my armpits several months ago. And I must admit, it's quite freeing!

10. I think David Bowie & Alan Rickman are the two sexiest old men alive.

Goodbye, 2009!

You sucked. I hated you. You were by far the worst year of my life. More bad, depressing shit happened in 2009 than in any other year, except maybe for '05. I wasted 9 months of this year with a guy who, aside from making me cry every other day, spending all my money, and trashing my stuff- finally admitted what I always suspected- that he has always thought I was fat & ugly and was only with me cause he thought he was 'supposed' to be. I haven't been able to hold a job, I got even fatter, and I hate myself more than I ever have in my entire life.

I've given a lot of thought to 2010 & what I'll do differently.

1. I'm gonna learn math.

When I was in school, I excelled in every subject EXCEPT math. The school told my parents I had an Einstein-level IQ. I tested highest in my grade in science from 6th grade onward & was considered gifted. Biology was FUN for me. And don't even get me started on English class. My 11th grade teacher once said it would be a crime if I didn't become a writer. I can spell ANY word in the English language, even words I've never heard before(It's almost savant-esque). I can learn to read & write a whole new alphabet within days(I taught myself Cyrillic in 2 days). I even get PHYSICS for Chrissakes- but I'm practically LD in math. I can do the basic functions but beyond pre-algebra I'm useless. It's not that I can't learn it- I can learn ANY mathematical functions but for some reason I will invariably forget it within 5 minutes. Well, @#$% that. I'm sick of feeling mildly terrified everytime I think about numbers. I'm gonna learn math once & for all, goddamnit. I'll start with algebra. Thats 2010's math goal- learn algebra to the point where I can solve any algebraic equation without help. And if I achieve this goal before the year is out- I'll start on geometry next. After that- who knows! Calculus, trig, etc. There are no limits. Screw being a math-tard. I wanna be a well-rounded geek.

2. I'm gonna lose weight.

Since 07, I have gained 40 pounds. FORTY POUNDS. If I don't lose weight, I WILL commit suicide. No more fatty foods, no more Big Gulp trifectas every day, no more not giving a shit what I look like. I'm gonna get hot if I have to become bulimic, damnit.

3. I'm going to cease self-destructive behaviors. (Yes, I realize the irony of this statement after the last sentence of #2)

No more going back to bad exes just cause I wanna see if 'love' can solve our problems. The thought "But he LOVES me!" will be forever forbidden from entering my mind. No more doing 'nice' things to people who I KNOW won't appreciate it. No more associating with losers. And no more not taking care of my body. This ties into the previous goal. I'm going to eat better & take various nutritional supplements. I'm only 29 but my joints already hurt & I feel sluggish all the time. It's time to do something about it. I don't wanna be 40 years old with the body of a 60 year old.

4. I am going to CHERISH my real friends.

Matt, Tiffany, Steve, Ted(just to name a few), etc- I will NEVER again disappear from your lives. You have all been too tolerant of my flakiness and I promise I will never pull that shit on you again no matter what.

That's all I can think of for now. Any suggestions?

The best & worst of 2009

2009 was probably second only to 2005 as the worst year of my life.



The worst:

Wasting almost a year of my life dallying with a guy that is absolutely not good for me at all.

Another year without going to school or keeping a steady job.

I quit talking to all my friends again just for that jealous guy who nearly ruined my life.

Borrowed a ton of money from my parents that I will be paying back for a long time.



The best:

I got an almost new car that has not yet broken down!

I got a Touch Pro 2.

I really got to know myself this year, I now know what I want from life & how to go about getting it.

Got a new computer.

I realized what's really important in life. Family, good friends, and self-pride.

I realized what's NOT important- GUYS.

I will be going to school probably in a few months.


Comments?