Moving Chelydra

I was asked how I moved the Snapper I had photographed and if I had just happened to have a snow shovel in my car. Because I'm a gardener, my car is a traveling tool box, so shovel? Yes. After all, I was able at a moment's notice to de-bone a full sized Wild turkey on the side of the road. Now, that's preparedness! The turkey was, however, dead. It did not fight back nor was I expecting it to do so. Other than some necrotizing flesh eating bacterial disease that I might have contracted, there was little risk to my well being. That Snapper, on the other hand, could have done me real damage. I did not move it. I left her to her own devices including crossing a major road and wished her well. In this video, a woman who obviously has experience, intervenes and moves them. If you have any doubt what so ever about how fast this turtle can be, watch this video. I jumped when I watched it. You might want to have a good, stiff Scotch before you watch this.

OGRABME ADENDUM

A friend told me that Snapping Turtles can be hypnotized. I wish I had known that little factoid when I wrote the last blog! So, I went online to find out about this perhaps invaluable skill. You never know when you might need this kind of information. I found this in the Evansville Courier Press, Courierpress.com It's just simply too freakin' funny to not include in tandem to my Ohgrabme post. I wish I had been there! And I thought the gene pool in Maine is a little dilute!
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Calvin "Clicker" Embry talks a little funny these days. You would, too if a 15-pound snapping turtle ever latched onto your tongue and wouldn't let go.

This bizarre story started to unfold just before dusk this past Fourth of July. Embry, 41, a laborer from Wayne City, Ill., was at a local fireworks display when one of his buddies asked if he'd show everybody how he can hypnotize a snapping turtle and kiss him right on the snout.

"I started doing this trick years ago, and it's a great crowd pleaser," the legendary turtle hunter said. "I guess I've kissed about a hundred snappin' turtles and never been bit — until this last time."

Embry just happened to have a 15-pound "snapper" with him at the fireworks show, and he proceeded to demonstrate his bizarre animal hypnotism routine.

"I got him out of the truck, tilted him down at just the right angle and started rubbin' his belly," Embry said. "If you do it just right, they get all relaxed and everything and you can kiss 'em right on the snout."

Well, Embry did everything the same way he had the previous hundred times, but something went wrong.

"I must have tilted him the wrong way, 'cause he woke up," Embry said. "I can usually kiss him on the snout, then lick their eyeballs before they wake up, but something went really wrong."

What went wrong was the 15-pound turtle woke up and latched onto Embry's tongue as he was preparing to lick the creature's eyeballs.

"When it happened, everybody started running around like crazy and were yelling," Embry said. "Do you know how hard it is to talk with a 15-pound snappin' turtle hanging off the end of your tongue?"

Embry finally was able to communicate to a friend to get a knife and stick it into the turtle's mouth and work it back and forth. "They'll let go every time," Embry said.

Once his friend had pried the turtle off his tongue, "Clicker" decided it was time to go to the emergency room to see what was left of his tongue.

"That doctor hadn't ever seen anything like this, so he took some pictures for the Southern Illinois University School of Medicine," Embry said. "I got a tetanus shot and he sent me home."

Embry later saw his family physician and got some antibiotics. The chunk of tongue that's missing makes "Clicker" talk a little funny, but it's not serious enough to stop him from kissing snapping turtles on the snout or licking their eyeballs.

"I kept that old turtle and will probably have him mounted by a taxidermist one of these days," Embry said. "For now, though, I'm keeping his water changed every day and don't have any plans to dress him out."

If anyone's keeping score, that's "Clicker" Embry 100, snappin' turtles 1.

n Contact Len Wells at (618) 842-2159 or lenwells@wabash.net

"Ograbme, SNAPP'AH!"

The Muse Of Herpetology is certainly working for me lately! On my way to Baxter State Park (more on that gruesome saga later), I spotted this Snapping turtle. Back in the old days, when Christ was still in nickers, Chelydra serpentina was known as Ograbme. As you know, I can find beauty in most anything, even writhing, fornicating snakes. But Chelydra here is just a beast. They smell; they pee and poop if you try to pick them up (DON'T!), emit musk, skulk around in the mud and are covered in algae, which you can see on this one's tail. On the end of its tongue is a growth that looks like a worm. Nnnnnnice! They open their mouths and wiggle it to bait fish. And, more good news: they gulp baby ducks from the water's surface. They look like a slimy miniature dinosaur with malice in their eyes. In the water, they are quite docile, but on land they can be a as viscous as legend has it. Everything looks like food to them. They eat anything, even carrion and can bite off a toe or finger easily. They have long, sharp claws, too. Seriously, do not try to pick one up unless you have a snow shovel with which you can scoop it up. I won't even go into the mating, because even I have my limits. Like the snakes, though, a female can hold sperm for years to fertilize her eggs before she lays them. They can mate any old time and can lay eggs every year without mating. They lay eggs in sandy soil, digging a hole into which they lay 40-80 eggs, then bury them and leave. She's a warm and fuzzy mom, indeed. The eggs hatch in 9-18 weeks. If the eggs are laid late enough in the year, the baby turtles may overwinter there. People keep them as pets. WHY?????? Because they can, I suppose. As my mother used to say, "There is no accounting for taste." Speaking of taste, people do eat them. It's legal, but the just desert is that they taste like mud which even heavy seasoning can not disguise. As the largest freshwater turtle, they must live in an aquarium, which would have to be huge. In captivity they can reach 75 pounds and live for fifty years. Just say commitment. If you decide to hook up with Chelydra, Ohgrabme and love me forever! Now if only she would wear plaid.






Oh ya! Isn't she pretty?