Toys Imitating Life..

The women I tend to pick up for one nighter’s at nightclubs are skanky girls who are dumb, boring and obsessed with facebook and their own popularity/ego, they are not datable women but they are useful for me to get my rocks off.

The novelist Doris Lessing yesterday claimed that men were the new silent victims in the sex war, "continually demeaned and insulted" by women without a whimper of protest.Lessing, who became a feminist icon with the books The Grass is Singing and The Golden Notebook, said a "lazy and insidious" culture had taken hold within feminism that revelled in flailing men.
Young boys were being weighed down with guilt about the crimes of their sex, she told the Edinburgh book festival, while energy which could be used to get proper child care was being dissipated in the pointless humiliation of men.
"I find myself increasingly shocked at the unthinking and automatic rubbishing of men which is now so part of our culture that it is hardly even noticed," the 81-year-old Persian-born writer said yesterday.

"It is time we began to ask who are these women who continually rubbish men. The most stupid, ill-educated and nasty woman can rubbish the nicest, kindest and most intelligent man and no one protests.

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months, but before we were officially monogamous and committed we had been hooking up and talking for a few months. So when he found out I had a one night stand with two of his friends he was very hurt and angry. I did not know they were such good friends when I hooked up with them as one night stands, but unfortunately it happened due to alcohol and bad decisions. However, I have not had many one night stands before him and I am a very loyal and committed girlfriend.  

When he brings it up I stay very patient, but it hurts my feelings every time.

A LESBIAN couple in California who say their 11-year-old son Tommy wants to be a girl named Tammy are giving their child hormone blockers that delay the onset of puberty, so that he can have more time to decide if he wants to change his gender.

What is unspoken is that these women are holding out for a bigger better deal.  The longer they delay marriage, in their mind the more courtship they can accrue and the better man they can expect to marry.  Just because the idea is absurd, it doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking this way. The only thing which keeps women from extending their search forever is the fear of losing the option to choose.

The only thing which holds this terror at bay is the expectation that the woman can get off the carousel at any time she wants.  So long as she believes that all she has to do to get married is click her heels together three times and say there’s no place like home and poof she is married, she can keep the terror at bay and feels safe remaining on the carousel.  Take this comfort away, and you are left with sheer panic.

Thus begins the cultural exegesis of the Bolick article. Young women want “relationships,” but they want low-grade, low-commitment ones which are of uncertain futures. I think what they really want is the status of saying “I have a boyfriend,” which is a lower-grade version of the “I’ve been chosen!” thrill women get from getting married.

Thats why women invented marriage 2.0. Even women who can’t attract the man they really want can still walk down the aisle and prove that a man was invested in them enough to publicly proclaim commitment for life. Then after a suitable waiting period, they can hit the eject button and walk away with cash and prizes (and perhaps children).

Of course even then they are back on the hunt for the man they really want to marry. The wonderful prince charming who for some inexplicable reason has yet to appear, but is aching to profess his undying love for her. Divorce porn doesn’t end with women living a carefree single life for a reason.

As I have on several occasions mentioned previously, the options men have are restricted if one doesn't shut down the brow beaters and female apologists. Those people are of the opinion that women are blameless and quite a catch for any delusional blue pill inhaler who has been trained by his single mom or his white knight dad to wallow in it's shadow. Abeyance to any female can and will definitely bring you pain and suffering without fail. It's guaranteed in the stats as women do toss out the love of their life with the same ease as changing underwear, replaced after maximum of five years, implant another sucker overnight on the promise that pussy will be forthcoming. Many a sucker has been lured by that little head appeal and they still line up like lemmings to a cliff's edge, waiting their turn.

If you were told that your parachute had a fifty percent chance of opening when you went skydiving, would you take that chance, I don't think so and you would be an idiot if you played against those odds. That is exactly the odds in the marriage game as women divorce 70% of the suckers they coerced into tying the knot so you have a 2 to 1 chance of celebrating a fifth anniversary or maybe longer only if she allowed you to be still be around. You must be doing something right or you are not worth reaming yet as there is more money on the whorizon..

May just as well tick off that calender now and face up to the inevitable. At least you cannot claim that you were not told..

Where have all the men gone?

It’s a question posed today by both social conservatives and liberals alike.  And yet all the “great minds” of academia and political punditry combined, heard spewing forth from their ivory Towers of Babel, seem to be utterly vexed by the answer.  From William Bennett, George Will and Kathleen Parker, to Michael Kimmel, Kay Hymowitz and Hannah Rosin they all agree the modern male is broken and somehow needs to be fixed, but how exactly they can’t say.
In her natural biological state an adolescent girl is given a rite of passage into womanhood, signaling she’s now an adult woman, whether she wants to be one right away or not.  If she later becomes pregnant and gives birth she becomes a mother.  For the male of the species the transition to adulthood is not so readily apparent.
He can join the military and transition to a sort of manhood, which also offers the distinct possibility of transitioning him to a flag draped coffin or a cripple for life, thus making the rather expedient transition from “man” to “hero”.  Or he can begin to work, find himself a willing and fertile female to pair bond with and begin the creation of a good old fashion nuclear family, only to have her go all “Eat, Pray, Love” on his sorry ass 5 years later, (because she’s bored) finding himself indentured to the local family court system for 10 years hence, and the part-time joy of part-time involvement with his kids lives.  Who said men don’t have choices?!

A Tale of Two Worlds

In speaking with my brother the other day at our annual catch-up phone call I asked him how his daughter was fairing out in the big cruel world.  (I refer to her as “his daughter” and not “my niece” because despite my efforts to reach out to her, she can’t be bothered to reciprocate.)
“Oh she’s doing great!”, he says.  She just finished her master’s degree in something called “Enviro-catastrophe Studies” and got a cushy little government job with a state agency.”
“What about your chance of being a grandfather anytime soon?” I ask.
“Well she likes guys and she’s had a few boyfriends, but she makes her position on anything long term very clear, she will NOT be controlled by a man.”
“You mean like her mother, your ex-wife, claimed you used to do?”
Now you know why we only talk annually.
A couple of years ago I was asked to help a young man of about 24 years of age out with some “failure to launch” issues.  He was just getting off probation for dealing weed, as a little side business to supplement his career in pizza delivery.  (At least he understood the dynamics of synergistic market demand)  He was the quintessential “lost man in the promised land,” sleeping late, getting high and playing Xbox.  Eventually our relationship came down to an ultimatum, “Either get a job by the end of the month or live in your car.”  The very last day of the month he got a job as a dishwasher paying $10 an hour.  He was ecstatic that he somehow passed the drug test and background check.
Along our path of living together in my humble little dojo, I asked him one day what he thought about women, having a girlfriend, getting married and having children…and he says to me in a way only the modern high school graduate might, “No way, women are bitches man!  I mean some of them are OK but most of them really suck!  I’m never gonna get married!”
And here my dear reader in lies the essence of the problem, albeit in anecdotal form; the modern sassy girl on the go; little Ms. Independent, “refuses to be controlled by a man,” (although he BETTER allow himself to be controlled by her) and the “lowly slacker” is left with little inspiration to make himself part of such an arrangement, other than perhaps the hope it would somehow work out better for him than every other adult male he’s ever known, including his own father.  What’s the point of all this ambition nonsense when he has nothing to prove to anyone but himself?

To Answer the Question

Wouldn’t it be grand if young men, shamed into compliance, would spontaneously “man-up” and start families with young women?  “Finally they took heed of all our combined scolding!” – the elites would exclaim.   If only men would dump their video games and weed, GROW UP and start marrying young women all would be groovy again.  Men are the problem that needs to be fixed; women are simply marvelous examples of human existence, as always.  Everyone knows this.  It’s on TV.
But who exactly does he marry if all these fantastic women are busy being men; toiling in the hard scrabble world of cubicles, meetings and text messaging?  They might “settle down” in their mid-thirties and pop out a designer baby conceived from sperm purchased at the “genius bank”, or they might not.  She has choices.  She’d prefer a man, but as Maureen Dowd quipped in her condescending pop art lit tone of commentary, “Are men really necessary”?



“For whatever reason, adolescence seems to be the young man’s default state.”, concluded Kay Hymowitz.  “For whatever reason…,”  In other words what she means to say is that if a man consciously decides to not marry and have children, (ostensibly his “duty” as a ”man” to society and to women) he’s chosen a state of perpetual adolescence.  “Shame on you guys!”  But did it ever occur to the highbrow illuminati that perhaps he doesn’t have a choice, that there simply aren’t any viable FEMALE candidates for marriage; at least ones that don’t defiantly declare they “won’t be controlled by a man”.  Can you imagine a single young man claiming he refuses to marry because he “won’t be controlled by a woman”?  Cue the accusations of sexism from the sexist police!
So by today’s standards, if “manning up” means committing to a lovely young wife who gladly presupposes motherhood and commitment to said young husband and father of their children, then “woman-ing-up” is defined as getting a degree, dedicating her efforts to her career and delaying child birth until she finally quits hitting the snooze button on her biological clock; and that’s if she has children at all.  In other words, women have made the transition to manhood rather nicely, while men are transitioning to womanhood while kicking and screaming (with a bunch of “whining” as they say).  Women want to be like men, but men don’t want to be like women.  Womanhood has never been so unpopular.  Imagine that!
If the combined Ivy League sheepskin of social scientists and cultural prognosticators have to have someone who barely graduated from high school, (yours truly), answer the simple question, “Where have all the men gone?” one must wonder about either the usefulness of a degree or the blind devotion to either chivalry or the power of feminist orthodoxy within the collective conscious of our “best intellectuals thinkers.”   They stink, therefore they’re feminists.
“Where are they?” you ask.  They’ve disengaged and disconnected faster than you can say “herbivore” because after all the ridicule, shaming, condemnation, discrimination and legal abuse society has inflicted on them as a group. They’ve simply decided to retreat and stop contributing.  Call that “adolescent” if you’d like, (they really don’t care anymore, as they’ve been called worse).  I call it a very natural reaction that’s long overdue.  Because if the threat of “control” is the problem, he’ll gladly let go of the reigns and the horse that came with them without a shamed or regretful bone in his body.
When I was in 8th grade there was a tough girl that hung out with the tough guys who had it out for me.  She would provoke me with insults, kicking and one time a hard whack across my face.  She wanted to fight me, “call me out.”  Had I agreed I would have been ridiculed for beating up a girl, (and beaten up by her enforcement crew as well).  Had I said “no” I would have been ridiculed for being a coward (or ironically a “pussy”) to not agree to fight a girl.
Eventually I had to “man-up” and make a decision one way or the other or the taunting would continue, so I decided NOT agreeing to fight was the best choice of two evils.  I disengaged from the proposed battle because either way I was gonna lose; it was just a matter of deciding by how much.  By that time I was numb to the pain shaming brings with it anyway, the emotional nerve endings scarred over as it were, so I didn’t care what they had to say, I just ignored them and eventually they began to ignore me.  I declared the game over and conceded, much to their disappointment.
Such is the plight of the modern young man.  If he fights/competes against woman (and her enforcers) he loses and if he turns his back to her (and her enforcers) he loses.  The difference now is that he’s shamed and ridiculed to the point of being impervious to it.  He’s declared the game over (Hannah Rosin would agree), and he’s conceded because while he might meet the definition of being a “man,” HE knows WHO he is, and that’s someone who won’t be taken for a TOOL…
…much to their disappointment.

Written by keyster

Yes, we know..

Dalrock describes how courtship has changed in the last 50 years, resulting in women ratcheting up their standards to ridiculous levels, making the search very costly for men:

Women traditionally were able to bask in the courtship process because they were the center of attention and men bore the financial, emotional, and social costs of the selection process.  What men typically find grueling women find delightful.  However, in cultures with traditional courtship men perceive the rewards to be high (lifetime commitment).  In addition, in such cultures the risks are moderated by rules of decorum and formal and informal pressure on the woman to minimize the number of men she allows to court her. While the average woman might wish to be courted by 50 men, the average man is in no position to bear the expense of courting 50 women in order to find a wife.
Ever since the beginning of the sexual revolution women have perceived the incentive to prolong courtship in one way or another.  The old rules no longer restricted them from extending the courtship period or required them to keep their lifetime commitment, and many men initially continued to play by the old set of rules.  This is at the very heart of choice addiction

.

I find it totally incomprehensible that feminists can criticise women for being traitors when in actual fact feminists have crafted and created that same female right from the start. Not only have they encouraged women to originally "burn the bra", which apparently never really happened but was more inferred but have of late encouraged, enforced slut behaviour for all women around the world. Where do these hypocritical feminists get off ?
They have never ever recommended or suggested alternative behaviour, they have never recommended anything besides spending money and doing your own thing. They have indeed encouraged women to pursue a life of narcism and greed by demanding they be paid more than men which they do in most capitol cities. They have encouraged women to not want a man (like a fish needs a bicycle) plus instituted an unrelenting hate program against the only sex on this planet who can and will put up with their shit but the signs are showing that to be coming to an end. So really, what have women got to look forward to. To want to be a stay at home mother is history as far as the feminists are concerned, to be in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex on a permanent basis and not shagging oneself silly is frowned upon..

Lesbianism is promoted as being the right alternative and working 24/7 should be the aim of every woman and behaving like one, well, that's just not on. They hate feminine women with a passion..

I have yet to see ONE single feminist come out and say "this type of behaviour is bad for your health" or "you should not be screwing yourself silly because it will affect your health" or "abortions can psychologically affect you for the rest of your life" or " be a caring, loving human being and share your life with someone who cares about you and make it work otherwise you will be on your own when you get older"..

No positive advice or feedback is forthcoming from any feminist as they have demonstrated already how much they truly hate their own sex. No alternative lifestyle choices are offered because that would mean it to include them men, whom they loathe even more. But care, they do not, as long as their outcomes are reached, they will sacrifice their own with about as much feeling a farmer has when he crops his harvest..

Want a life of misery and hopelessness, become a feminist. It's their best advertisement yet..

Girls in the gutter and a betrayal of feminismBy AMANDA PLATELL
Last updated at 10:34 AM on 1st October 2011 

No one blinked an eye at newspaper pictures of semi-clad young women in the gutter this week — women who were bragging they’d ‘got wasted’ on £1 in Warrington.We have become inured to the sight of girls with their breasts tumbling out, their skirts so short they leave nothing to the imagination, and so drunk they can’t stand. In this case, they’d been taking advantage of a ‘Two-Bob Tuesday’ event at a pub, where shots of vodka could be bought for 10p. Even the scenes of them being pawed by strangers in the street seemed par for the course.Yet when you actually encounter this kind of behaviour, it is horribly shocking. Last Saturday night, I was in Liverpool — the 2008 European Capital of Culture — for the Labour Party conference. In the shadows of the Liver Building, I saw a group of expensively — but barely — dressed young women standing in a circle on the city’s famous promenade.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked. ‘It’s a p*** ring,’ one replied. She stepped away from the circle to show me what she meant. One of her friends had her skirt around her ears and was urinating in the street. It was 8pm.Later that night, I returned to the Hilton, the city’s poshest hotel, and another group of girls was sitting outside at the hotel’s alfresco tables, smoking and drinking.As I passed, one of them started shrieking that she needed the loo. She could have walked to one just yards away inside the hotel’s foyer — yet she decided instead to straddle the flowerpot beside the table, lift her skirt and go in full view of passers-by. She didn’t need to drop her underwear as she wasn’t wearing any.
All week inside the Labour Party conference hall, Harriet Harman had been championing women’s rights in the workplace, and Ed Miliband had been thinking of reshuffling his shadow cabinet so he could have more women on the frontline.Yet what is the point of giving young women like this more rights if they behave in such a way?

I have learned I can't be too direct, eager, needy, desperate, clingy, emotional, commitment pressuring, or baby daddy seeking. I also have to avoid looking cold, aloof, bitchy, mean, shallow, negative or distant. And of course I can't even talk about my ex, even if the past nine years of my life was living and working with him!  

I know there a plenty of men and women who are frustrated like myself out there. But what are we supposed to do when everyone around us seems to be whoring it up? And if people can so easily get no-strings attached sex, and then never see the person again if they choose, why would they try for anything else?

Feminist Theory -
Women are the most logical, patient,(off the chart) intelligence, precognitive, intuitive, capable, strong, independent, able, sex on the planet. They never make mistakes or ever react in any manner that could possibly be considered invalid. They are never inconsiderate, never violent as we do not recognise that, never capable of ill feelings or emotive behaviour because of what we told you above.Never seek revenge as that would indicate an emotional state. Woman's every action is one of considerable deep analysis via an undeniable intellectual ability to process that information, rationally and determine a practical outcome in every situation, unlike those menz who are just dumb and stupeed..

Cheated Wife smashes rival’s property – but gets wrong address

A WOMAN went on a $40,000 rampage after discovering her husband was having an affair – but later discovered she had targeted the wrong property, a court in New Zealand was told.The woman, who was granted name suppression by a judge in the Nelson District Court, admitted one charge of intentionally causing $NZ42,823 worth of damage at an apartment complex in the South Island city in June, The Nelson Mail reported.
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that the wife, 25, became enraged after reading text messages from her husband’s mistress and demanded he drive her to the other woman’s home.
At their destination, the clearly unhappy wife smashed her car through the closed gates of the complex and into an apartment’s garage while her husband fled the scene.
Stringer said the woman’s husband later told her that the other woman did not live in the apartment she had hit.
The woman will be sentenced for her crime of passion next month, and police are seeking full reparation for the damage.

Stone..

Sadist..

 It doesn’t really matter if an American girl is kind of ugly and fat and stupid and mean if some poor slob will take her out and be too nice to her and buy her a bunch of shit in the faint hope that she will have sex with them. My heart always breaks when I’m out at the supermarket shopping for ingredients for another fabulous Cook to Bang recipe and I see some overweight, pizza-faced Jabba the Slut leading around some poor dude a couple steps behind her while she puts a bunch of Twinkies in the cart. Or when I see a poor bastard shelling out for an overpriced restaurant only to watch some mediocre girl spend the whole time on her Crackberry. Or when some loser marries a heifer who held sex over his head until she got some stupid worthless (but expensive) diamond ring. So guys, by putting up with this bullshit, we have earned what we have. 

Single Dude Travel is adamant on this issue: it doesn’t have to be this way. Don’t settle for mediocre American girls. Now before you get all pissed off at that absurd generalization, I will say that of course, America is a huge country with 300 million people in it, and there are plenty of good American girls out there. Some of our favorite girlfriends have been American, but they were the exception to the rule and not the norm. Your odds in America of finding a quality woman are bad these days and only getting worse.This is why we travel. There is another whole world out there of gorgeous, thin, super nice, brilliant, successful, motivated girls who would love to be with you, and we want to help you find them and live happily ever after. Or just tonight, your call. But you have to leave America. You have to travel. http://www.inmalafid...can-girls-suck/ 

False Rape Claimant Michelle Carreiro..

I want to pass along a thought about the aforegoing blog. I am a professional consultant who has worked with literally thousands of women. What I have observed is scary stuff. American women fall very short in many ways. The list is manifold. They are very demanding about a man’s level of education but most of all his bankroll. The most important critarion to most of them is money; the demand which transcends all others. 

Most women who are physically attractive have an arrogant attitude, because the vast majority of American women are rather ugly, or overweight. Therefore, they believe they have a lot of leverage. Most women are insipid in their emotions and behavior. They always hold back in their feelings. The men then feel very lonely and rejected. While the women out there may complain about fat and uncaring men, they should know that a lot of this reaction on mens’ part is due to the shallowness of their female counterparts. Why should a man want to take care of himself when there is noboby to care for? 

I also know of a number of handsome, 6’2″ tall, educated, and financially secure men who are having a hard time finding a good woman. I must say one thing in the defense of the women out there: They are victims of the media and the campaigns out there to destroy our nation and its good moral practices. I refer to them as the TV mentality. This is one reason why I don’t listen to the radio or TV. I don’t read the papers. I practice great care in the magazines I read. When you watch a Hollywood movie, carefully observe how the men are treated. They are portrayed as whimps and losers who require that the women take control. Women just pick up on this brainwashing automatically. 

The best policy is to have compassion and understanding for these women. But the fact remains that we men are forced to look elsewhere for meaningful relationships; other countries. I for one am leaving for South America as soon as possible. The U.S. is too expensive and riddles with the infection of feminism and materialism. I care for and wish well to both men and women on this blog and in the U.S. We must cultivate an attitude of compassion and understanding towards all here. Lee

Sometimes I just walk and chew gum

Ashley 

youre as asshole charlie. im an american girl and maybe the reason you have problems with us is because we make you work for it too much. i guess youd rather have some 3rd world sluts that just want your money. do america a favor and just move somewhere else.

Why am I not surprised ?

More gender equality leads to more sex, global study shows

 WASHINGTON – Equality leads to more sex. 

That's the gist of a new study about the sexual marketplace that used global data and found there's more sex in countries with higher gender equality than in those with less.
The study is part of a big-picture look at sexual behaviors worldwide using "sexual economics," in which supply and demand are key elements.
It's a "notoriously unromantic theory," said Roy Baumeister of Florida State University in Tallahassee Sunday at the American Psychological Association meeting here.
In his presentation, "Sexual Economics: A Research-Based Theory of Sexual Interactions, or Why the Man Buys Dinner," Baumeister, a psychologist, explained how applying economic principles helps understand people's sexual decision-making, especially when they're just beginning a relationship.
"Women's sexuality has a kind of value that men's sexuality does not," he says. "Men will basically exchange other resources with women to have sex, but the reverse doesn't work. Women … can trade sex for attention, for grades, for a promotion, for money, as in prostitution or sex with a celebrity."

Supply and demand rule, so whichever sex is more scarce has more power. The theory focuses on heterosexual interactions only. When women outnumber men (as on many college campuses today) there's more competition among women for those guys, says Mark Regnerus, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Texas-Austin

He addressed that in the book he co-wrote, Premarital Sex in America, out earlier this year.
Regnerus says Baumeister's theory of sexual economics was a key element. "It's a perspective through which to understand sexual relationships and sexual behavior," he says.
Regnerus' research attributes the rise of the "hookup" culture on campus to the fact that there are so many more women in college.

He says Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs "wrote the key work on the subject" in 2004. Because a woman's sexuality has a value to men, a man who wanted sex typically had to give her something of value, such as a marriage proposal

This fairly typical response that appeared at the Seattle Post Intelligencer website: “Sorry ladies. In the age of PlayStation 3s, 24-hours-a-day sports channels, and free Internet porn, you are now obsolete. All that nagging, whining, and stealing our hard earned cash have finally caught up to you."

Shocked? I wasn t. During the last few years researching this age group, I’ve stumbled onto a powerful underground current of male bitterness that has nothing to do with outsourcing, the Mancession, or any of the other issues we usually associate with contemporary male discontent. No, this is bitterness from guys who find the young women they might have hoped to hang out with entitled, dishonest, self-involved, slutty, manipulative, shallow, controlling—and did I mention gold-digging?

Every mom has a secret.“I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I am overwhelmed and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it.”

• Nearly one in five moms admits medicating their child to get through a special event like a plane flight; one in 12 does it just to get some peace and quiet on a regular night.

• Half have knowingly sent a sick kid to daycare or school.

• 85 percent use their kids to get out of social obligations.

• Nearly one in three uses work as an excuse to avoid taking care of the kids.

And sometimes the secrets are thoughts we don’t dare tell anyone else:

• 44 percent of moms would rather be 15 pounds thinner than add 15 points to their child’s IQ.

• One in ten wishes their child was the opposite sex – and of those moms, 60 percent have boys

Another shared: “I am managing to hold it all together and still be sane. In reality I am on the verge of a breakdown at any time and who knows what is going to push me over the edge!”

One mom wrote anonymously:“People frequently remark that I seem to have everything ‘so together.’ I don't!  I find myself crying in the car on my way to work because I am so overwhelmed.”

Jimmy Carr and the Blonde..

To Marry, Or Not? 

That's Easy, Date.

Fred On Everything. 

Were a young man to ask me, "To marry perchance, or remain forever single?" I would, given the hostile circumstances today of law and love, urge caution. "Marriage is a commitment of several years of your life, plus child support," I would say. "Do not make it rashly."
The question is simply, "Why marry?" As a young man full of dangerous steroids, your answer will probably be, "Ah, because her hair is like corn silk under an August moon; her lips are as rubies and her teeth, pearls; and her smile would make a dead man cry." This amounts to, "I'm horny," with elaborations. It is as it ought to be. The race continues because maidens are glorious, and striplings both desperate and unwise.
Note, incidentally, that by the time October rolls around, corn silk is shriveled and brown.
Why marry, indeed? In times past, marriage occasionally made sense. Life on a farm required two people, a woman to work herself ragged in the cabin while the man carried heavy lumpish things and shot Indians. Later, come suburbia, the man did something tedious in an office and the woman did two hours housework and stayed bored for six. It worked, tolerably. In the Fifties, nobody expected much of life. It generally met their expectations.
And there was sex, though not enough of it -- the scarcity being the propellant behind matrimony. Back then, before the miracle of feminism, women had not yet commoditized themselves. A lad had to pop the question before he got laid regular. Women controlled the carnal economy and, in a world that was going to be boring anyway, that was probably a good thing. At least kids had parents.
Times change. Some advice to young fellows setting forth:
First, forget that her lips are sweet as honeydew melon (though not, of course, green). It doesn't last. One of nature's more disagreeable tricks is that while men are far uglier than women, they age better. Remember this. It is useful to reflect in moments of unguided passion that, beneath the skin, we are all wet bags of unpleasant organs.
Soon you will be a balding sofa ornament and she will look like a fireplug with cellulite. Once the packaging deteriorates, there had better be something to get you through the next thirty years. Usually there isn't.
Prospects have improved for the single of both genders. Sex is nowadays always available. If you don't marry Moon Pie, which would be wise, you may get another chance when she comes back on the market with the first wave of divorcees. It's never now-or-never. Getting older doesn't diminish your opportunities. As you gain experience, you will recognize the tides, the eddies, the whirlpools of coupling -- the urgency of the biological clock, the lunacy of menopause. Men by comparison embody a wonderful clod-like simplicity.
As you ponder snuggling forever with Moon Pie, compare the lives of your bachelor and your married friends. The bachelors come and go as the mood strikes them, order their apartments with squalid abandon, drive Miatas or Harleys if they choose, and live in such pleasant dissolution as is consonant with continued employment. The married guy lives in a vast echoing mortgage beyond his means, drives sensible cars he doesn't like, and loses his old friends because he isn't allowed to hang out with them.
Self-help books to the contrary, marriage does not rest on compromises, but on concessions. You will make all of them. Perhaps it doesn't have to be this way. But it is this way.
Moon Pie has only one reason for marriage: to get her legal hooks into you. She doesn't think of it in these terms, yet, and she has no evil intentions. She just wants a nice quiet home in the remote suburbs where she can live uneventfully, raise progeny, and keep her eye on you.
If you think surveillance isn't part of the contract, try going out late with your old buddies. Marriage is an institution founded on mistrust. If she thought you would stick around if not compelled, she wouldn't need marriage. She wants monogamy, at least for you and, with some frequency, for herself. She knows viscerally that you would prefer the amorous insouciance of an oversexed alley cat. You know it consciously. Marriage exists to control the male, until recently a good idea. Now, however, she can support herself, and doesn't need protection. She doesn't need you, or you, her.
She will, however, want to have children. Women do. At which point, God help you.
Given the schools, drugs, latch-keyism consequent first to working parents and then to divorce, and the cultural pressure on children to be slatterns and dope-dealers, reproduction is a gamble. You may not even particularly like them, or they, you. Nobody talks about this, but how many people do you know who hardly talk to their grown children?
And you've just tied yourself into twenty years of raising them.
The moment Junior enters wherever it is that we are, Moon Pie will have you screwed to the wall. She won't think of it this way, yet. She'll be delighted with the cooing bundle of joy, his little fingers, his little toes, etc. But divorce usually comes. The chances are two to one that she will file: Women are more eager than men to enter marriage, and more eager to leave it -- with the kids, the house, and the child support. It won't be amicable, not after seven years. You will be astonished at how ruthless she will be, how well she knows the law, and how utterly hostile to divorcing fathers the law is.
You don't understand how bad the divorce courts are. You probably don't know what "imputed income" is. You think that "joint custody" means "joint custody." Think again. Quite possibly you will have to support her while she moves with your kids to Fukuoka with an Air Force colonel she met in a meat bar.
In short, marriage often means turning twenty-five years of your life into smoking wreckage. Yes, happy marriages exist (I personally know of one) and there are the somnolent marriages of habitual contentment or, perhaps, of quiet resignation. But the odds aren't good.
Permit me an heretical thought. In an age when neither sex economically needs the other, in which women do not need protection from wild bears and marauding savages, not in the suburbs anyway, perhaps marriage doesn't make sense, at least for men. The divorce courts remove all doubt. A young fellow might do well to stay single, keep his DNA to himself, pick such flowers as he might find along the way, and live his life as he likes.