Why would they behave this way? Because they have a father that trained them this way. That they got high with and whose addiction they lived through and yet they still worship the ground he walks on and hang on his every word and believe it for truth. He manipulates. He lies. They listen. They repeat. Word for word. Verbatim from his mouth. They wish me dead. At least then I would be out of all this pain.
I don't wish for anyone else's life. Every life comes with it's own set of problems. I just want my life to be better. And no matter how hard I try that doesn't happen. Because when those you love the most hate you there is nothing worth living for.
Thank God for that little Catholic school nun who told us that suicide was the unforgiveable sin talked about in the Bible. Although today I know that is not true her words linger in my heart. Right next to the physical, spiritual and emotional abuse.
For her today I live.