Yes! We Have No Bananas

By Frank Silver and Irving Cohn
1923

On January 1, for the first time in 20 years, a motherlode of intellectual property entered the public domain--books, songs, movies, etc. from 1923 are now available to use for free. Among them is this charming novelty song that was number one on the charts for five weeks in its original recording by Billy West. Interestingly, the melody has been identified by some as a combination of Handel's Hallelujah chorus, "My Bonnie", and a few other tunes. The lyric supposedly was written by Cohn as a tribute to a Greek fruit seller he knew who began every statement with, "Yes!" Despite not really being recorded much in the past 50 years, the song remains a part of popular culture, and has been referenced in The Simpsons, The Muppet Show, The English Patient and Mel Brooks' Dracula: Dead and Loving It ("Yes! We have Nosferatu. We have Nosferatu today!")

Lyrics:

There's a fruit store on our street
It's run by a Greek.
And he keeps good things to eat
But you should hear him speak!
When you ask him anything, he never answers "no".
He just "yes"es you to death, and as he takes your dough
He tells you
"Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today.
We've string beans, and onions
Cabbageses, and scallions,
And all sorts of fruit and say
We have an old fashioned to-mah-to
A Long Island po-tah-to
But yes, we have no bananas.
We have no bananas today."

Business got so good for him that he wrote home today,
"Send me Pete and Nick and Jim; I need help right away."
When he got them in the store, there was fun, you bet.
Someone asked for "sparrow grass" and then the whole quartet
All answered
"Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today.
Just try those coconuts
Those walnuts and doughnuts
There ain't many nuts like they.
We'll sell you two kinds of red herring,
Dark brown, and ball-bearing.
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today."

Yes, we are very sorry to inform you
That we are entirely out of the fruit in question
The afore-mentioned vegetable
Bearing the cognomen "Banana".
We might induce you to accept a substitute less desirable,
But that is not the policy at this internationally famous green 
grocery.
I should say not. No no no no no no no.
But may we suggest that you sample our five o'clock tea
Which we feel certain will tempt your pallet?
However we regret that after a diligent search 
Of the premises
By our entire staff
We can positively affirm without fear of contradiction
That our raspberries are delicious; really delicious
Very delicious
But we have no bananas today.

Yes, we gotta no banana
No banana
We gotta no banana today.
I sella you no banana.
Hey, Marianna, you gotta no banana?
Why this man, he no believe-a what I say.
Now whatta you want mister?
You wanna buy twelve for a quarter?
No? well, just a oneofadozen?
I'm-a gonna calla my daughter.
Hey, Marianna
You gotta piana
Yes, banana, no
No, yes, no bananas today
We gotta no bananas.
Yes, we gotta no bananas today.

Recorded By:

Eddie Cantor
Louis Prima
Benny Goodman
Spike Jones
Anthony Newley

Monster Mash

By Leonard Capizzi and Bobby Pickett
1962

A Halloween staple ever since it was first recorded in the summer of 1962, "Monster Mash" might well be the song most associated with the spooky season to this day. Pickett, an aspiring actor and member of the band The Cordials, had been entertaining audiences with his Boris Karloff impression when bandmate Capizzi had the idea of building a novelty song around said impression. Born out of the dance fad craze of the era, the "Monster Mash" was intended to lampoon such popular dances as the "mashed potato". The original record went to number-one during Halloween week of 1962, and has been re-released several times, and even recorded by other horror icons Vincent Price and punk band the Misfits.

Lyrics: 

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash

The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"

They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash

Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist"

It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash

Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash

Then you can monster mash

Recorded By:

Bobby "Boris" Pickett
The Beach Boys
Vincent Price
The Misfits
Zacherley

The Frim-Fram Sauce

By Joe Ricardel and Redd Evans
1945

A fun novelty song of the post-World War II era that went on to become a jazz stand-by, this tune was created by Joe Ricardel, writer of "The Brooklyn Dodger Jump", with lyrics by Redd Evans, known for such songs as "Don't Go to Strangers" and "There, I've Said It Again". Evans had written a few songs specifically for the Nat King Cole Trio, and this was one of them. The song's playful lyrics have entertained fans for decades, full of nonsense words and involving a patron ordering a series of imaginary items from a restaurant menu. Although closely identified with Cole over the years, several others have tried their hand at it.

Lyrics:

I don't want French fried potatoes
Red ripe tomatoes
I'm never satisfied
I want the frim fram sauce with the Ausen fay
With chafafa on the side

I don't want pork chops and bacon
That won't awaken
My appetite inside
I want the frim fram sauce with the Ausen fay
With chafafa on the side

A fella really got to eat
And a fella should eat right
Five will get you ten
I'm gonna feed myself right tonight

I don't want fish cakes and rye bread
You heard what I said
Waiter, please serve mine fried
I want the frim fram sauce with the Ausen fay
With chafafa on the side

Recorded By:

Nat King Cole
Diana Krall
John Pizzarelli
Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Les Brown