This Am Zod Me Want!!

Superboy is using a Kryptonian "thought helmet" to receive a mental history lesson about some of Krypton's greatest criminals:

What???

Yes, in Zod's very first appearance, he tried to use an army of "imperfect duplicates" of himself to take over Krypton. Because an army of dummies with a poor grasp of grammar is a wonderful way to overthrow a super-science society. "Me want to overthrow Krypton" indeed!!

And, as he gets banished into the Phantom Zone for the stupidest coup plot ever, enjoy his uncomfortably tight shorts:

So, what I'm saying is, I really hope this is the Zod we get for the new Superman movie: Viggo Mortensen* as a buffoon in tight shorts who creates a ton of imperfect imitations of himself because that's the best way he could think of to conquer Krypton.

Because nobody said Zod had to be smart...ruthless and evil, sure, but not smart.

*(Editor's note: yeah, we just read that Viggo is not actually going to be in Superman: Man Of Steel. But it's late, snell is tired, and there's no way he's going to go back and re-write anything at this point. Please feel free to insert your own favorite actor into the Zod role.)

From Adventure Comics #283 (1961), as reprinted in Superboy #165 (1970).

Those Kryptonians Aren't So Tough After All...

...at least vocabulary-wise.

From DC's solicitation for the March issue of Supergirl:

Amidst Brainiac’s assault on New Krypton, General Zod has brandished the Legion of Super-Heroes terrorists and imprisoned them!

"Brandished the Legion of Super-Heroes terrorists?" Brandished???

Yes, perhaps Zod did wave or flourish the entire Legion menacingly.

Or perhaps Kryptonians don't know the difference between "brandished" and "branded."

See, all General Lane really needs to defend Earth from the Kryptonians is a good proofreader...

Snarky Questions About This Week's Books

Instead of reviews, which ain't my schtick, I've got some smart-ass questions which need answers.

A) What, the Batmobile drives from the right side? Is Bruce Wayne importing his vehicles from England??



B) I know DC heroes are frustratingly casual with their secret identities, but is this at all wise?


Seriously...taking the Titans out to a Kansas farm to meet Supergirl...isn't that just a bit risky, especially given that the Terminator's daughter and a kid who has sold his soul to the devil are members?? (Yes, I know the Supers flew a ways from the Kent spread before hooking up with the Titans, but c'mon now...)

Aside: When Identity Crisis started, I had hoped that the story was going to involve somehow having knowledge of everyone's secret ID's wiped out. I mean, how many hundreds of people know that Bruce is Batman and Clark Superman? It's not remotely credible that somewhere, somehow that information isn't going to leak out. Some sort of spell to wipe out knowledge of everyone's identities would fix that, and lead to some interesting stories about whom you'd trust with that info. But nope, instead they did a story where the Atom's ex-wife becomes a serial killer. Much better choice. Really.

C) Why is it that Search for Ray Palmer: Crime Society is infinitely better than anything they've given us in Countdown?

Perhaps because it involves absolutely zero about the search for Palmer, and virtually zero about our "Challengers of the Unknown." And it actually focused on the world where they were visiting, instead of just a bunch of cameos from natives, and no sniping between Kyle and Jason Todd. Seriously--whose idea was it to team these three together? Could there be a more annoying team (at least, more annoyingly written) in all of comics?

D) Why is it that in one page Paul Dini does more to explain and advance the "Athena's Shelters" storyline in one issue of Detective than they do in 20+ issues of Countdown, even though Paul Dini is allegedly in charge of that project? I mean seriously, is it that everyone else writing Countdown is so inferior?


Or is it that the weekly format is DESTROYING the series, because there ain't 52 weeks worth of story, so we've got to pace things very slowly to kill time until Final Crisis?

E) How come Bizarro Doomsday looks and acts exactly like regular Doomsday?


I mean, I was thrilled with the concept--Bizarro Doomsday...rad!! But shouldn't he be nice, or meek, or articulate, or in some way the opposite of regular Doomsday?!? Seriously, if they didn't tell you he was "Bizarro" Doomsday, you'd think he was just regular ol' Doomsday. This is why we have GOT to stop letting amateurs tell Bizarro stories.

F) Speaking of Richard Donner, when, exactly, was it decided that the Richard Donner Superman movies were part of the official Superman continuity?


I mean, does anybody like the Phantom Zone as the floating mirror thingy? Do we *really* have to declare that "the son of Jor-El will kneel before Zod?" What's next? Otis?

G) Why the hell isn't Blogger working properly today? Grrr.....damn you, Google!!

Pictures from, in order, JLA/Hitman #2, Supergirl #22, Countdown Presents: The Search for Ray Palmer: Crime Society #1, Detective Comics #837, Action Comics #856, and Countdown #30. Phew...