Allow me to present this complete 5-page story from Weird War Tales #102 (1981):
Let me reemphasize: that was 1981. 3 years before The Last Starfighter.
Not that I'm saying TLS ripped off this dinky little comic book story--although if I were an unscrupulous Hollywood type looking to take advantage of the sci-fi/horror boomlet of the early 80s, diving into these anthology comics that no one would ever remember might be a good way to find "inspiration."
And of course, it's not to say that this tales idea was first spawned by Dan Mishkin and Gary Cohn and Trevor Von Eeden and Jerry Ordway--this tale may have published been before The Last Starfighter, but it was also 4 years after the original Ender's Game short story.
No, I'm not accusing anyone of ripping anything off. It's just that sometimes, there are ideas out the in the aether, percolating in the popular subconscious. Like Swamp Thing/Man-Thing, or Vision/Red Tornado, they bubble up into creators minds, sometimes simultaneously, sometimes years apart.
But I guess my real message here is, get better at your video games! Apparently, an awful lot of alien cultures are depending on Earth teens' X-Box prowess to save them!! Quit school, quit your job, and play more video games!!
Showing posts with label Weird War Tales. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weird War Tales. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Monday, February 22, 2016
Manic Monday Triple Overtime--I Am Suing This Comic For Libel!!
You know that it is truly a weird war tale when, out of nowhere, you find your own good name dragged through the mud!
We're at a K-9 unit training facility...
But there's one bad apple amongst the trainees:
Hey!! Wait a minute!! That's MY name!! And I don't "beats dawgs"!!
I also don't beat donkeys or dames. What the hell, comic book?
Sarge Crawford goes out of his way to paint me as an irredeemable villain:
Well, yes, I do "believe in death," to the extent that it's an actual thing in the real world. But don't make me out like I'm Thanos or something...
At least they gave me a promotion (after strongly implying that I deliberately killed Sarge Crawford accidentally):
Hell yes, now who's the sergeant!?!?
OK, now we're going waaay too far. It's bad enough you put me in your story and defame me, but to kill me?
Someone get me Matt Murdock or Jennifer Walters on the phone!!
From Weird War Tales #31 (1974)
We're at a K-9 unit training facility...
But there's one bad apple amongst the trainees:
Hey!! Wait a minute!! That's MY name!! And I don't "beats dawgs"!!
I also don't beat donkeys or dames. What the hell, comic book?
Sarge Crawford goes out of his way to paint me as an irredeemable villain:
Well, yes, I do "believe in death," to the extent that it's an actual thing in the real world. But don't make me out like I'm Thanos or something...
At least they gave me a promotion (after strongly implying that I deliberately killed Sarge Crawford accidentally):
Hell yes, now who's the sergeant!?!?
OK, now we're going waaay too far. It's bad enough you put me in your story and defame me, but to kill me?
Someone get me Matt Murdock or Jennifer Walters on the phone!!
From Weird War Tales #31 (1974)
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Dogs,
Manic Monday,
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Weird War Tales
Sunday, January 4, 2015
The Real Reason Germany Lost WWII--Stupidly Designed Giant Robots!!
Davy is always getting picked on by the guys in his unit, because he's kind of a runt:
But their Sarge reminds them of another time a runt made good:
Well, Davy is on point as they move out...when:
Holy Hannah, a giant Nazi robot!!
Of course, this is all Hitler's master plan!!
Hmm, maybe naming him Goliath was a bad idea, dude.
But whatever his name, giant Nazi robot soldier is tough!! Planes can't stop him!
Mortar fire can't stop him!
Minefields can't stop him!!
Even the clever ploy of riding a windmill so you can put a bazooka in his face...doesn't stop him!
Sadly, this last gambit kills the Sarge, who has some parting advice for Davy:
Hey. let's try drowning it!!
Well, that worked swell!! End of giant Nazi robot menace!
D'oh!!
Well, I guess Hitler wins WWII now...
No, Davy, there is no physical law of the universe demanding that everything have a "weak spot." That's not the way things work.
Why not just accept that the Nazis have built an unstoppable death machine, and start learning German?
Yes, that will work...
Wait--that DID work? Seriously?
Down goes Goliath! Down goes Goliath!!!
Bonus: this made Hitler very sad!
Maybe, Adolf, just maybe, you should have designed a robot without a weak spot. Maybe you shouldn't have put the most crucial component in the least protected area. Or sprung for the dough to put heavier shielding on the feet.
So much for German engineering...
From Weird War Tales #6 (1972)
But their Sarge reminds them of another time a runt made good:
Well, Davy is on point as they move out...when:
Holy Hannah, a giant Nazi robot!!
Of course, this is all Hitler's master plan!!
Hmm, maybe naming him Goliath was a bad idea, dude.
But whatever his name, giant Nazi robot soldier is tough!! Planes can't stop him!
Mortar fire can't stop him!
Minefields can't stop him!!
Even the clever ploy of riding a windmill so you can put a bazooka in his face...doesn't stop him!
Sadly, this last gambit kills the Sarge, who has some parting advice for Davy:
Hey. let's try drowning it!!
Well, that worked swell!! End of giant Nazi robot menace!
D'oh!!
Well, I guess Hitler wins WWII now...
No, Davy, there is no physical law of the universe demanding that everything have a "weak spot." That's not the way things work.
Why not just accept that the Nazis have built an unstoppable death machine, and start learning German?
Yes, that will work...
Wait--that DID work? Seriously?
Down goes Goliath! Down goes Goliath!!!
Bonus: this made Hitler very sad!
Maybe, Adolf, just maybe, you should have designed a robot without a weak spot. Maybe you shouldn't have put the most crucial component in the least protected area. Or sprung for the dough to put heavier shielding on the feet.
So much for German engineering...
From Weird War Tales #6 (1972)
Friday, December 19, 2014
Friday Night Fights--Even A G.I. Robot Can Cry Style!!
Well, there are weird war tales, and then there is the weirdest war tale ever!! Which, luckily for you, we're featuring today on Friday Night Fights!!
G.I. Robot and his platoon are on the Dinosaur Island, a.k.a. the island of The War That Time Forgot. Because Kanigher.
Anyway, J.A.K.E. and his buddies meet a new playmate:
Well, that's not gonna happen. Especially because there are some actual dangerous creatures on the way:
And then, Round II:
Oh, dear...this is so sad...
...because if saw J.A.K.E.'s eyes right now, I'm sure you'd learn that ---
Even a G.I. Robot can cry!!!
Spacebooger is too busy bawling his eyes right now to saw anything...
Nobody ever "wins" in war, even in war between dinosaurs and giant apes, as we learn in Weird War Tales #120 (1983), by Robert Kanigher and Fred Carrillo
Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Lordy, who else gave you a WWII love story between a giant monkey and a robot infantryman while fighting flipping dinosaurs?!? So go and vote!!
G.I. Robot and his platoon are on the Dinosaur Island, a.k.a. the island of The War That Time Forgot. Because Kanigher.
Anyway, J.A.K.E. and his buddies meet a new playmate:
Well, that's not gonna happen. Especially because there are some actual dangerous creatures on the way:
And then, Round II:
Oh, dear...this is so sad...
...because if saw J.A.K.E.'s eyes right now, I'm sure you'd learn that ---
Even a G.I. Robot can cry!!!
Spacebooger is too busy bawling his eyes right now to saw anything...
Nobody ever "wins" in war, even in war between dinosaurs and giant apes, as we learn in Weird War Tales #120 (1983), by Robert Kanigher and Fred Carrillo
Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Lordy, who else gave you a WWII love story between a giant monkey and a robot infantryman while fighting flipping dinosaurs?!? So go and vote!!
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