Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Don't Waste Rubber!!

Speeding is a bad thing, people...

Look, I'm not going to argue with Uncle Sam...are you?? Don't waste that rubber!! Slow it down!!

From Uncle Sam Quarterly #4 (1942)

The Bulletproof Zombies Of Hawaii

I know most of you marveled at the way Uncle Sam was able to use the Racist Bears Of Alaska to thwart a sneak Japanese invasion.

But what about the other not-yet-a-state? Weren't they also in danger?

Yes, because paradise was about to be besieged by...THE BULLETPROOF ZOMBIES OF HAWAII!!!

We're at a nightclub in Hawaii, were some of America's finest are chillin' after a hard day of protecting the world for democracy, when...




What the hell was that thing?

Good thing the Comic Code wasn't in effect yet...

Well, Uncle Sam and Buddy go to consult Hawaii's top zombie expert...



Huh? Zombies use knives??


Sam manages to drive the horde off, and he and Buddy follow...

Then, in an underwater cave, Uncle Sam finds the zombies taking orders from...a Japanese officer!?!

Sam gets conked on the head, and the bad guy explains his evil plan:

The whosis whatsis, now?

Sure, Sam, let a 10 year old boy be in charge of stopping "the deadliest of Japanese terror societies"!

[For the record, Google and Wikipedia are silent on the topic of Osaka Sidi. Perhaps the creators just made it up, or perhaps they badly mangled the name/translation of something sorta real. Or maybe, just maybe, they ARE a real Japanese terror society, and are so powerful they've erased all references to their group. In which case, if I vanish tomorrow, well, you know what happened.]

So...can Buddy (and the marines) stop them?




Nope.

Fortunately, Uncle Same has broken free, and he knows what to do:



And then it's time for our Scooby Doo moment:

But wait...what about the bullet-proof (and bayonet-proof) part?



Oh, you meddlin' kids.

From Uncle Sam Quarterly #7 (1943)

Great Moments In WWII That The History Channel Has Forgotten About

I'll bet that your teachers never told you about...

...the time that the Japanese tried to invade India via an elephant invasion.

From Uncle Sam Quarterly #7 (1943)

The Villains Strike!

Here's a bit of doggerel by Will Eisner and Dave Berg from Uncle Sam Quarterly #2 (1941) , that I'm sure has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on today's comic market:




[Sorry, my scan of this issue curt off the bottom line...make up your own rhyme!]

















So, you don't treat the creative talent well, you have the heroes stop being heroic, and you make the villains the star, and the country goes to hell in a handbasket.

Nope, no mesage to see here. Just move along...