Don't Give Thunderbolt Ross The Marvel Chess Set!!

General Ross has had a bit of a nervous breakdown, so he's recovering off in a cabin in the woods somewhere...

He's not alone...Doc Samson, world's worst psychiatrist, is there to help him back to mental health!!

But then some idiot turned on the radio!!

Oops.

Geez...you should have gotten the Star Wars chess set instead, Doc!!

And by the way...

If one "mere mention" of the Hulk can undo "weeks" of your therapy, well, maybe your therapy kinda sucks. Can't the Defense Department health plan afford a competent psychiatrist?!?

From Incredible Hulk #246 (1980)

Where Do They Get Those Wonderful Toys, Part 2!

Another item from Thunderbolt Ross' anti-Hulk arsenal:

Wait wait wait--you have a "neuron-magnet, designed to attract and hold living beings"?!?!?!

OK, sure, Hulk managed to smash the magnet...but c'mon, couldn't that have uses in about 10,000 other situations? Wouldn't it be useful next time Doc Ock, or the Frightful Four, or the Red Skull shows up?

Hell, couldn't it be useful in, oh, I don't know, war?!?!?

Nope...it fails once, and the army abandons the idea. Typical.

The neuron-magnet is probably sitting right next to the Ark in a government warehouse right now, gathering dust...

From Incredible Hulk #5 (1963)

Where Do They Get Those Wonderful Toys? Part 1

It's time for the U.S Army to test out their newest anti-Hulk weapon!!

Wait wait wait--they have a jet-powered Hulk "copy"?? To hell with weapons--let's just play with that all day!! Keep sending it over French airspace, make them think the Hulk is attacking...laugh riot!!

Ah, but back to work, and testing boring old weapons that won't work:

Well, that's nice. It works on a non-sentient, non-moving "copy." But will it work on the real thing?

We find out the very next issue:

But...

D'oh!!!

Back to the drawing board, Thunderbolt!!

From Incredible Hulk #4 (1962) & #5 (1963)

Great Moments In Controversial Executive Orders!

It's just been revealed to the world that the Hulk is really Dr. Bruce Banner!

And the Hulk has just saved humanity from the Leader's amok Humanoid!!

Don't think that has gone unnoticed in the corridors of power!!

Unfortunately, a well-hidden Boomerang (!) is secretly trying to set the Hulk off on a rampage (so he can defeat him and become lauded as a hero himself, because stupid):

So, the Hulk wigs out, and takes off, just as...

Dude!! A signed executive order from LBJ?!? You could have sold that for a bundle on EBay!!

And in a few decades, you could just carefully add "RED" in there a couple of times, and use the order to give yourself amnesty!!

Methinks that allowing Thunderbolt Ross to decide whether or not the Hulk gets amnesty might not have been the wisest decision of Johnson's presidency...

From Tales To Astonish #88 (1967)

If You Can't Be With The Avengers You Love, Love The Avengers You're With

The Hulk is on a rampage with potentially devastating consequences, so Thunderbolt Ross calls in the Avengers for help. However, he's not too happy about who shows up:


Vaguely?? Really? I mean, Quicksilver was front page headlines all over the world when he joined in the first Avengers roster turnover.

And when the Scarlet Witch, Black Panther, and Hawkeye-As-Goliath show up, well, he's still going to be making snarky comments:

What an ungrateful buffoon, eh? You'd think the fastest man alive (Marvel version), a hyper-powerful android, a mutant with power over probability, a super-strong giant, and a master strategist and fighter (and king!) would be enough to satisfy him. And indeed, these "yardbirds" do manage to turn back the Hulk (although they can't capture or defeat him), despite Ross' misgivings.

Roy Thomas was writing both Hulk and Avengers at the time. I wouldn't be surprised if he meant Ross' whining to be a veiled response to the many fans at the time who were bemoaning that the Avengers "didn't have enough power" and "weren't stars" and wanted the Big Three back on the team. You got that a lot in the Avengers letters column at the time, and Roy using this team to beat back the Hulk may have been his answer to that.

Or, just maybe, Roy somehow saw through the mists of time to the distant future, when a writer of Justice League would be complaining loudly about not being allowed to use DC's Big Three, and attempting to demean the remaining Leaguers as "Cap's Kooky Quartet."

So Thunderbolt Ross--jerk, allegory for certain fans, or prophet of the future? Maybe all three...

From Incredible Hulk #128 (1970)