Thor Destroys The Entire Luftwaffe

As we saw earlier today, Grant Farrel was granted the powers of Thor by the Thunder God himself, to stamp out evil on Earth.

Wearing appropriate clothes was not amongst those powers...

But he does know how to clear the ocean of mines while showing off his tush:

And when he gets to Europe, he does a pretty good job of protecting Paris from (unnamed) enemy bombardment.

And now, the greatest feat in Thor history--Golden Age, Marvel, or anywhere else:

So Thor ends WWII early, in pretty awesome fashion!!

(And note they're still referring to Germany just as "the enemy country"--at this point in time, only Timely Comics was gung-ho enough to actually name Nazis as the villains)

This story, in Weird Comics #2 (1940), was Golden Age Thor's last appearance [CORRECTION: Nope, I was wrong, he had 3 more appearances. My bad], as the naked Norseman faded away from memory, leaving the trademark wide open for Marvel.

At least Jack Kirby knew how to dress the new guy...

Thor--The Original!!

You know who the greatest hero of all time was, right?

That's right--THOR!!

No, not the Lee/Kirby rip-off--the original, who debuted in Weird Comics #1 (1940)!!

[BTW, as Golden Age logos go, that one is pretty rad...]

Our origin?

Thor, the God Of Thunder, is real...and far more awesome than that dude with hippie hair!

Yes, he can break lightning bolts!! Top that, Goldilocks!!

Of course, some things are the same...

And, seeing that "there is a need on Earth for his powers," and being too damn busy wassailing and wenching to do it himself, Thor comes up with a plan:

Fun fact: In the Golden Age, 5/6ths naked men can appear in your bedroom, and you're totally cool with it!

So Grant gets Thor's powers, which includes another one far cooler than anything winged-helmet-head could do:

Yes, he could ride lightning bolts!!!

Also? He had torso-twisting powers beyond mere human anatomy:

Was artist Pierce Rice the Golden Age Ed Benes? I report, you decide...

Thor takes out tanks, and routs an unnamed evil European army:

And than goes back to report to the boss at the orgy celebration:

Final report card?

Hot digetty!!!

Tune in later today for the most awesome Thor stunt EVER!!