Manic Moday--The Legion of Doomed Sidekicks!!

Did you ever wonder why super-heroes get sidekicks, but super-villains don't?

Oh, super-villains have plenty of henchmen, mostly faceless droogs to do the grunt work and get beat up by the heroes.

But generally, they don't have costumed partners, sidekicks in the classic sense. Why?

Well, Penguin is wondering the same thing:

So, introducing:

Chick, Toyboy, Honeysuckle, Kitten and Sardine--The Legion Of Doom, Sidekick Edition!!

As far as I can tell, these guys have never appeared anywhere else, ever.

So there's a challenge for Scott Snyder--as long as he's going to tell a never-ending Legion Of Doom story in his Justice League run, how about making room for these cute sidekicks?!

From Super Friends #1 (1976)

Bold Fashion Choices--The Worst Of Both Worlds!!

If you want to impress the Super Friends,trying combining the costume of The Phantom with the costume of Kraven The Hunter!

No, it's not just the cover taking liberties:

Hey, Menagerie Man:

A) If you're going to have a large M on your chest, why have it partially obscured by your leopard-kini?

B) Why is it just M on your chest but MM on your belt buckle? Pick one and commit, bro!

Still, you can't argue with his mustache game!

The Atom finally takes cares of "The Fashion Disaster That Walks":

From Super Friends #6 (1977)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Secret Origin of The Wonder Twins!!

It's kinda surprising that they never dedicated an entire issue of Secret Origins to these guys.

But I guess that's why they keep me around...

So, with no further ado:

And you're welcome.

From Super Friends #14 (1978)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Somedays, You're Too Damn Busy To Fight Crime!!

We've all had days like this, right?

Even super friends are entitled to laze-around-the-house-doing-not-much days, right?

[SPOILER ALERT--This was really a cunning plan to defeat the villain by not giving him anything to react to. Because comics.]

From Super Friends #39 (1980)

The Secret Connection Between Spider-Woman, Plastic Man And Fangpuss!!

This ad appeared in Incredible Hulk Annual #8 (1979):

By then, I was pretty much done with the whole Saturday morning cartoon thing--places to go, people to see.

So allow me some ill-informed and decades-late comments.

It's not enough that they're Super Friends. Now they're "World's Greatest Super Friends"! Take that, Swedish Super Friends!

Plus, I have to admire that even though they showed his picture, Aquaman can't even get listed in the copy. Even in 1979, they knew...

I had absolutely no idea whatsoever that there had been a Spider-Woman cartoon. Not one single clue. How is that possible?

Also worth noting, that in the pre-merger mania and pre-discovery of corporate synergy era, ABC had no problem running both DC and Marvel shows. You wouldn't see that today, by golly.

This same comic had an ad for CBS' Saturday morning line-up, which featured Mighty Mouse, Bugs Bunny, Popeye, Tarzan and Batman. What a wild, wacky world...

Wait...comedy AND adventure? Have you gone mad, ABC?

Much as with Spider-Woman, I had no clue that there had been a Plastic Man cartoon on Saturday mornings. Seriously, what else did I miss?

Glory days.

And then there's this:

What. The. Hell.

And this:

Whatever happened to Fangpuss?!?

And sadly:

I'm sorry. Scrappy Doo is the worst thing ever. I'd rather watch BvS again than watch anything with Scrappy Doo in it.

Seriously, I hate Scrappy Doo...

Manic Monday Bonus--The Comic Book I Most Want In 2014!

From the Answer Man column in Superman #348 (1980):

Look, is there anyone in America who wouldn't want this? Especially with how nuts Neal Adams has been as a writer lately?

Seriously--raise your hand if you don't want to see a 12-issue Super Friends: Odyssey mini-series next year.

Just as I thought. We all do.

Make it so, DC and Neal Adams...

And Then There Was That Time Red Tornado Fought Devil Dinosaur While The Super Friends Watched

 OK, I lied again.

That's obviously not Devil Dinosaur--this story takes place several months before his debut--but still, it's Red Tornado fighting a dinosaur. That's gotta count for something, right?

The evil Grax has planted bombs all over the world, and in this 3-part story, the Justice League has teamed up with lame exciting "heroes of various lands" to find and defuse them.

First up in this, the middle issue? The Atom and...

 Boring.

Next?

 You know, this is a team-up that really should have occurred...

All right, so now I have a story in my head where the Guardians came to ancient Earth and were mistaken for fairy folk and...

Enough!! Next!!

 Tuatara??? Who the...?

 Well, for once, some actually correct DC Science, as that lizard does indeed have three eyes...

 ...and there goes the correct science out the window. Sigh...

Oh, and "Superman explained how to break the time barrier" to Red Tornado, so...

Great, that's all we need...a whiny android who screws everything up who can travel in time. Nothing could possibly go wrong there...

Meanwhile...

 No, Bushmaster is not just a frat boy nickname from Animal House...just look how useful this guy is!

 All kinds of wrong, but so cool...

Finally, perhaps the most annoying team-up ever:

 Because who wouldn't want to hang out with these two?

Egads...

More on the tale of titanic transcontinental team-ups some other time...

From Super Friends #8 (1977)