April Madness--The Final Round!!

It's been a long, strange road to get here...

But we're finally at the Final Round of The Seven Justice Soldiers of The Victory League Society!! And, probably to no one's surprise, it is Team Superman...

...vs. Team Batman!!

Fair warning--there are no coincidental "Martha's" in this fight to cause an unlikely truce.

Superman makes the first move, grabbing Hourman and dropping him 61 minutes in the past, so his Miraclo will be worn off by the time the fight starts!!

And as Batman pulls out the inevitable piece of kryptonite, Metamorpho turns himself into a lead suit of armor encasing Kal-El, and together they show Batman that he's not quite ready to "defeat anyone if he has enough time" yet.

Sandman cold-cocks a powerless Hourman, and Metamorpho sneakily grabs Starman's Cosmic Rod, ending this little slugfest!!

So, our grand champion is...

...Team Superman!!

And it's all proven with irrefutable comic book logic!!

Thanks for putting up with this all week...

April Madness, 2nd Semifinal--Those Wonderful Toys!!

It's the second semifinal of The Seven Justice Soldiers Of The Victory League Society!!

Last time was pretty easy for....

Will they work up a bigger sweat against a lot of analysts' sleeper pick?

As the action begins, Batman pulls a device out of his belt, presses a button, and...and...

Oh dear heavens, Red Tornado has just turned into on OMAC!! Batman, who invented OMACs, has found a way to weaponize it to take over Red Tornado!!

Oh, god, the humanity!!! OMAC is just pummeling the living hell out of Zatanna and Flash!! This is brutal!! Team Batman is just sitting around watching....!!

And that's it!! Officials have called the fight!! Once again, Team Batman got maximum beatdown for minimum effort!!

Remember, we did warn you earlier the Red Tornado was potentially this team's Achilles heel--and we were right!!

Will tricks like that work against Team Superman, though? Turn in tomorrow morning for the riveting final!!

April Madness Round III--No, Seriously!!

It's time to continue our meaningless contest, The Seven Justice Soldiers of The Victory League Society!! Heroes fighting for no reason than my childish whim!! Bwahahahaha!!!

Ahem.

Anyway, this morning features the "__Man" group...

vs.

Seriously. They put Hal Jordan and Aquaman in the same group...against Batman?

This isn't much of a contest. Batman sits reading the Gotham Gazette while Hal trips and hits his head on a rock. Oh, Hal...

Meanwhile, while Aquaman desperately looks around for a fish to command, Starman zaps him with his Cosmic Rod. And as tough as Wildcat is, he can't take both Batman and Hourman. Battle's over.

Tune in later this morning for a much more interesting battle...

The Justice Society Goes To War--The Final Chapter?!?

All morning long we've seen how, right after Pearl Harbor, the members of the JSA enlisted in the military in their civilian identities (except for Spectre, because "ghosts can't enlist.").

And we've also seen that, in every case, they didn't stay in their civilian identities for long, because war is indeed hell, and super-heroes can't resist super-heroing when they're needed.

And so the members of the JSA have sunk ships, shot down planes, taken out tank battalions, captured entire islands, caught saboteurs, rescued troops...it's been a busy morning.

But, despite all those victories, it turns out that all of that super-hero participation in war is a BAD THING!!

Why?!?

Yes, "high-ranking commanders" actually come to blows over whose unit has the best super-hero. Because all upper Army officers are 7 year old boys.

Seriously.

So the "top" commanding officer of the Army has Johnny Thunder summon all of the Justice Society memebers:

"Disrupting?!?!" They're saving your army, fool!!

Ahh...they're "too good." So the solution isn't to discipline your dumb-ass commanders, but to ground the freaking super-heroes?!?!?! I'm not sure all the grunts whose lives are being saved would agree that the JSA are "too good" to have around...

Yes, "pride and loyalty" is a terrible thing in military service...

THE JUSTICE BATTALION OF AMERICA!!! 

And you thought Roy Thomas was just making that shit up...

Of course, they agree...why maximize your resources by spreading them out, when you can lump them together (and let 7 other divisions go without), just because some of your commanders got into a brawl over who was the best super-hero?

Still, one good thing happens:

And then the "top commander" proves himself the biggest hypocrite of all:

Jackass. Good answer, Hawkman...but jackass.

From All-Star Comics #11 (1942)

The Justice Society Goes To War--Chapter 3!!

The day after Pearl Harbor, all the members of the Justice Society enlist in their civilian identities. Except the Spectre, because "ghosts can't enlist." Lousy 4-F ghosts, making time with our women...

So what happens when you put the most powerful people in the world in combat in the Pacific?

Kent Nelson is a paratrooper...

But he's not going to sit the and get shot at!

But he doesn't just sit around waving his hands and mutter spells...

...and...

...and...

HOLY CRAP!!!

Even Dr. Midnight is in on the action, as Charles McNider serves as medical specialist (he's the only one who can complete the dead Dr. Benson's work on a "tropical disease serum").

No surprise, though, when he's called upon to do more:

Meanwhile, Ted Grant is a bomber pilot...but you know that's not going to last for long!

Yes...Starman single-handedly captured Formosa!!

meanwhile, Johnny Thunder is in the Navy...but he's kind of a screw-up, and he's being given "keep him away from anything important" assignments.

Until he stumble upon some sabotage...

Then he accidentally gets into a plane, accidentally takes off, and, well, accidentally manages to shoot down all the enemy!

But do you know what? Despite all of these amazing triumphs, it turns out that having super-heroes in the military--is a BAD thing!?!

Why? Tune in later this morning!!

From All-Star Comics #11 (1942)

The Justice Society Goes To War--Chapter 1

It's the day after Pearl Harbor, and all the members of the Justice Society have something important on their mind:

They've all enlisted in the army in their civilian identities!!

But wait--what about Johnny Thunder?

D'oh!! Oh, Johnny!

And don't forget:

Ghosts can't enlist!!

So what happens when the most powerful people on the planet enlist in the military? Tune in later this morning for that update!!

From All-Star Comics #11 (1942)