Your Thursday Morning Pretty Stuff

Because some mornings...

...you just needs to see P. Craig Russell drawing Storm.

You're welcome.

From Uncanny X-Men Annual #16 (1992)

FF Week #25--Roll Call!!

A brief roll call for those who have also served as members of the Fantastic Four:

Crystal!

Medusa!

Power Man!

She-Hulk!!

Ms. Marvel!

(who later became She-Thing!)

Ant-Man!!

Black Panther And Storm!

Spider-Man!

Ms, Thing!!

Thus endeth the roll call...

Self-Awareness Saturday--New Avengers #31

From this week's New (New) Avengers #31:

In the story, Daredevil is addressing this to Luke Cage.

But it's pretty damn hard not to read this as his questioning writer Bendis, right? Bendis moved heaven and Earth and the laws of rationality around to get DD onto the Avengers, and now Bendis is leaving the series??

Of course, foisting us with unlikely Avengers, and then proceeding to do absolutely nothing interesting with them--or anything AT ALL with them--has been one of Bendis' motifs on his Avengers titles.

Remember when Echo joined, and...? Really, she was a member--look it up!!

Or Storm? Oh, the grand adventures we had with Ororo as an Avenger, right? Right?!?

Noh-Varr, or Protector, or whatever he was called any given week? Vital member, well used...

Quake? Hello, remember Quake? Of course you don't...

Interesting but sad fact: Squirrel Girl received more time and attention than the above 5 combined.

So congratulations on your time as an Avenger, Daredevil...long will it be remembered as an obscure line in your Wikipedia entry...

Friday Night Fights--Potato Salad Style!!

The scene: Danny Rand, in costume, has come to visit Misty Knight's crib.

BUT Misty's roommate is Jean Grey, you see (because everybody knows everybody in the Chris Claremont universe). And Wolverine is sitting outside her apartment being a whiny stalker boy. So, inevitably:

Now, our kung fu billionaire manages to hold his own for awhile.



But Jean was going to be holding a dinner party, you see, so of course the rest of the "all new, all different" X-Men are showing up. And, being the 1970's, no one is willing to stop and talk things out. So:


Not bad, holding your own against Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Colossus.

BUT WAIT A MINUTE, you're screaming at your screen right now. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE LADIES' NIGHT!!

Oh, it is, my friends....because look who shows up next:

So she'll end this quick, right?

Uh-oh. That's not gonna go down well, is it?



So, Wolverine is finally man enough to lay hands on Iron Fist when someone else is holding him down...

So who will save the day? Well, it is Ladies' Night, after all:


Yeah, Phoenix, put 'em down!!

Even Bahlactus wouldn't throw potato salad on Storm...would he??

Heroes mistakenly fighting heroes for a whole issue comes from Iron Fist #15 (1977)...which was the last issue of IF's original run, as well as (I believe) John Byrne's first ever artwork depicting the all new, all different X-Men. And it has potato salad....

Tales From the Quarter Bin--This Is A Public Service Announcement

Someday, DC and Marvel have to put together Showcase/Essential editions to collect all the wonderful free comic books they published as Public Service Announcements over the years.

Case in point: Spider-Man, Storm and Power Man #1 (1982):

This joint, done in cooperation with the American Cancer Society, was a freebie that sought to discourage the tykes from smoking. While it's a commendable goal, quality-wise, well, it's pretty craptacular. You'd think that just because it's free comic, they assigned it to any old interns sitting around the Bullpen.

We start at a track meet:

So, just like the Daily Planet, the Daily Bugle doesn't have any actual news to cover. "Parker, forget the Spider-Man pictures--go get me shots of that teen track team!! That'll sell papers!!"

Ah, but there's a human interest angle...and, of course, the overselling of the dangers of cigarettes:

So kids, if you start smoking, you'll make strange friends, keep late hours, and skip classes. That's science, you see.

Sadly, there's a flaw in Cage's plan to track down these nefarious tempters:

OK, so who would be less conspicuous than Cage?

Oh, yeah...white-haired statuesque African Goddess Ororo won't attract any attention at all...

After a couple of pages of a health class lecture on all the physical harms of tobacco, they again have to go for the overkill:

Yup, smoking makes your grades drop!! More science!!

Hey, what is our bad guys' purpose, anyway? Well, their nefarious plot is:

So given that, in the Marvel PSA Universe, high school track meets attract big time illegal gambling, it's only logical that evil peeps would try to rig those track meets by hooking star athletes on cigarettes. Perfectly sensible. Brilliant plan.

Meanwhile, Storm's mission isn't going so hot:

And what major villain took down Storm with no discernible effort?

Oh, dear. Memo to Marvel: Please don't have villains with "SS" on their chests, unless they're Nazis. Especially in PSA comics for kids. Thank you.

Well, after many pointless pages and nagging lectures, our heroes of course triumph, after some typical Luke Cage battle dialogue:


Wait a minute: the money was returned to its "rightful owners?" This was an illegal gambling operation--the cops wouldn't give the bettors their money back!!

Anyway, our athlete learns his lesson, spends the next 48 hours getting back in shape, manages to finish second, but everybody respects him now and welcomes him back to "the winning team."

The problem with this PSA effort--like many others--is that it piles on too hard. Not content to point out the vile physical effects of tobacco, Marvel and the ACS feel obliged to attribute every other vice and ill in the Western hemisphere to tobacco, too: illegal gambling and sports fixing, hooliganism, poor grades, rejecting old friends, a big ego, pool halls (seriously)...I'm surprised they didn't blame hurricanes and nuclear proliferation on cigarettes, too. And of course, such wild overstatements trigger the bullshit alarms in the heads of their target audience, somewhat mooting any effectiveness of their message.

Here's something interesting, from 1998:

I don't have this one, I just found it on GCD. So is it just the same old story reprinted, with a new title (to reflect Luke's re-branding) and a disturbingly 90s cover? On the cover Smokescreen looks completely different. Did they re-do the entire issue?? Man, this is going to keep me up all night...