How Exactly Do You Say "KKRAAAAKK-DOOOOHMM!" In Russian, Anyway?

So, the other day, this little bit appears in The Moscow Times:

The use of words such as "bang," "crash" and "wow" in Russian comic books is unpatriotic and should be avoided, Russian translators said.

Russian newspaper Izvestia reported on Monday that a group of translators of Russian comics penned a letter addressed to the Vinogradov Russian Language Institute of the Russian Academy of Sciences suggesting that all onomatopoeic words be replaced with indigenous versions.

OK, Vladimir Putin...it is ON!!

Seriously, it's always kinda of fun that most languages have their own, distinct onomatopoeia for sounds. Look, for example, at all of the way different languages might translate a dog's barking:

Man, it's a wonder dogs from different countries can even communicate...

So, I imagine that it gets even more difficult when you're trying to transliterate the odd POW or KRAAAAKAAA-DOOOOOOOMMMM into another tongue.

Still, unpatriotic? Really? Yes, Russia has indeed uncovered our plot to use comic book sound effects to undermine their culture and pollute their precious bodily fluids. Drat!!

Anyway, someone let me know when the Kremlin figures a way to translate this:


...or this:

Good luck, comrades.

BONUS: An encyclopedia of comic book sound effects (English ones, at least...)