"The Weirdest Battle Ever"--Ghosts Against Skeletons!!

It's been awhile since we've checked in with our favorite insane person from the Golden Age, the Sorceress Of Zoom!!

It turns out that she's gotten involved in a little fracas with King Druid, "Ruler Of The Seas," because she keeps rescuing sailors from drowning by turning them into rocks (don't ask).

So it's time for the battle of the century:

You know, Axe Cop looks perfectly lucid and straightforward compared to Sorceress Of Zoom stories...

After a 10-page nutsoid battle--which consists of King Druid casting an insane spell, and the Sorceress casting an even more insane spell to counter--she gets the upper hand, and...

Well, OK then.

From Weird Comics #10 (1941)

The Sorceress Of Zoom--Mistress Of Labor Relations!!

I know, it's only Thursday!! The week is dragging, the weekend is so close but so far, your boss is an ogre...

But trust me--whatever your work situation is, it's a picnic compared to those working for The Sorceress Of Zoom!!

For example...

...I'm willing to bet that most of you have never been enslaved and forced to pull a sand-barge full of treasure through the desert!!

And that's far from the worst part...

No water cooler breaks for you!!! (Maybe he should have asked for a Red Bull?)

And when it comes to team-building exercises, I don't think the Sorceress quite gets it:

I'm  pretty sure that no matter how bad it is, your workplace is better than that (unless, of coure, you're a writer for DC Comics...)

On the job hijinks from Weird Comics #9 (1940)

But What Kind Of Mileage Does It Get?

When you are the Sorceress Of Zoom, you travel in style:

A lion drawn coach?? Seriously?

And it flies?

Oh, yes indeed.

From Weird Comics #4 (1940)

Everyone Needs An Arch-Enemy

By now you all know of my unhealthy obsession with The Sorceress Of Zoom, the Golden Age anti-hero who was totally badass, magically.

But even an anti-hero needs someone to fight, right? Well, how about the wicked Wizard of Zoro?

Ummm...Zoro, what kind of "work" can frogs do for you?

Oh, OK...still, I think leaving them as people might have been more efficient for log-hauling purposes. [editor's note: these are magic frogs, snell!]

And Zoro could be a real dickweed with the ladies:

What a jerk.

Well, the Sorceress proposes an alliance...

...Zoro responds with a move that makes no sense whatsoever:

Well, I'm not sure how that shows her how tough you are, bro. Plus, who's going to haul your logs now?

Then the Sorceress manipulates Zoro into restoring Jimmy, and...

What. A. Lightweight. Zoro is no Gandalf, is all I'm saying...

From Weird Comics #4 (1940)

I'm Trying To Avoid Obvious Monkey Puns For This Title...

Finally, the Sorceress of Zoom is ready for her final confrontation with Mu The Mystic:

Although it's been said many times, many ways, DO NOT MESS WITH THE SORCERESS OF ZOOM!!

And so Cloud City sails off into the sunset...

From Weird Comics #11 (1941)

An Inconceivable Amount Of Drugs Must Have Been Ingested In Preparing This Story

So, the Sorceress Of Zoom and pals are trapped in a collapsing cave, with no way out.

Yeah, right. Of course there's a way out--this is THE SORCERESS OF ZOOM!!

Yes, she made Cloud City (no, not THAT Cloud City) appear inside a cave!! And...

But evil Mu The Mystic isn't done yet...

What. The. Frak.

So, Mu locks her in a cave, she materializes a cloud city inside the cave and uses it to bust out, so materializes a volcano (in a swamp!) beneath her, so she turns the volcano into a huge pump to drain the swamp.

Look upon your grandparents and great grandparents with new respects, folks--they were trippin' some serious balls in the day.

From Weird Comics #11 (1941)

Does Whatever A Spider-Rock Can...

Have I mentioned that getting in the way of The Sorceress Of Zoom is a particularly bad idea?

Because she can do this:

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Good luck sleeping tonight...

From Weird Comics #11 (1941)

Vampire Bats Looked Very Different In 1941

EVERY month is WTF Month when you're dealing with...the Sorceress Of Zoom!!

The Sorceress and cohorts are pursuing Mu The Mystic, because he's stolen a young couple that she wanted to steal...

OK, that is one weird looking bat...

Really, that's a bat?

Well, whatever it was, it ain't no more!!

DO NOT MESS WITH THE SORCERESS OF ZOOM!!

From Weird Comics #16 (1941)

Joan Slept Like A Log

 Lando Calrissian should be very jealous...

If there's one important lesson of the Golden Age, it's this...

DON'T MESS WITH THE SORCERESS OF ZOOM!!

SLAP FIGHT!!

See? I warned you!!

(Don't worry, the Sorceress restored her later)

From Weird Comics #16 (1941)