Tales From The Quarter Bin--That Weird Simon/Kirby Shield Reboot!

In the late 50s, Archie Comics asked Joe Simon's studio to recreate/relaunch the good old MLJ heroes, to catch some of the DC Silver Age zeitgeist that was out there.

Which is where this came from:

Note that he's not actually refereed to as The Shield on the cover, and only so sparingly on the innards of the book:

This guy was completely divorced from the origin identity of the original Shield. See, snoopy scientists are investigating some weird stories they'd heard about fellow scientist Malcom Fleming...

Well, they threaten to have the boy taken away, and at the same time the less-squeamish commies plan to kidnap Roger for themselves. Stuff happens, there's a car crash in the mountains, and everyone dies except Roger...who's found by a hillbilly couple:

Thank God her name is Martha, in case he ever has to fight Batman!!

So, Roger Fleming gets raised as Lancelot Strong (!!), and just about at the point his powers emerge, he's drafted!! And so, for two issues, we get the adventures of a super-powered Gomer Pyle!!

As I said, weird stuff, man.

From The Double Life Of Private Strong #1 (1959), as reprinted in Blue Ribbon Comics #5 (1984)

Friday Night Fights--Say Something Clever Here Style!!

It's Godzilla night, so no time for love this Friday Night Fights. Just a quickie from the recently departed Dick Ayers, as the Shield leaps in to rescue a lovely scientist:

OUCH!!

Spacebooger would like you to know that this is Joe Higgins, the original Shield.

Super beatdown brought to you by Martin L. Greim, Dick Ayers and Tony DeZuniga in Mighty Crusaders #4 (1983)

Now is time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? So I can afford more Godzilla tickets!! Now go and vote!!

Life In The 80s Was Pretty Cushy!

And how do we know that life in the 1980s was pretty cushy?

Just ask the Shield!

Man, that is the high life...laying there alone in your motel bed (while in costume, no less!), drinking that delicious cup of instant coffee, watching old movies on a 19" television...all you need now is a Miller Lite to sip while playing with your Rubik's Cube, and you're totally gnarly, dude!!

A couple of quibbles, though...

This same story tells us that Shield "disappeared" in 1948 (but he was really just in suspended animation, because if you're going to rip off Captain America, let's go all the way, right?).

Well, Milton Berle did become the permanent host of Texaco Star Theater in 1948, so maybe we could let that slide.

However...the nickname "Uncle Miltie" wasn't used until 1949, when Berle himself coin the term on the air as an ad-lib, which then caught on and became popular. So how could the Shield be calling him "Uncle Miltie" in he was gone since 1948?? ?? (Yes, I actually researched that. Yes, I am an idiot.)

And in the rude surprises department...

Oh, poor Shield...The Brooklyn Eagle went under in 1955.

Still, a new Brooklyn Eagle began publishing in 1996, so just wait 12 years, and you can finally begin that job hunt.

And while the Dodgers are long gone, you can enjoy the sports exploits of the exciting and not-at-all overpaid and over-hyped Brooklyn Nets!!!

From Mighty Crusaders #9 (1984)

Manic Monday Double Secret Bonus--The Shield Is Quite Insensitive!

The Shield, tough guy, is tracking down a vicious killer, someone he has never seen before. And he first encounters him in a dark room...

Really? Insulting personal appearances? Of a man you've never actually seen??

Look, Shield, at all the feelings you've hurt with your gratuitous bullying comment:







Next time, be a little more careful with your words, OK?

Don't worry, instant karma fans...in the very next panel our killer gets away by kicking Shield in the groinitological area...

...he kills another victim and sticking the body in a department store window, just to humiliate Shield...

...and the Shield doesn't even stop him...the murderer accidentally guillotines himself in another department store window!!


So remember the "fatty" for a long time, Shield...he out-fought and out-thought your bony ass...

From Pep Comics #56 (1946)