April Madness--The Final Round!!

It's been a long, strange road to get here...

But we're finally at the Final Round of The Seven Justice Soldiers of The Victory League Society!! And, probably to no one's surprise, it is Team Superman...

...vs. Team Batman!!

Fair warning--there are no coincidental "Martha's" in this fight to cause an unlikely truce.

Superman makes the first move, grabbing Hourman and dropping him 61 minutes in the past, so his Miraclo will be worn off by the time the fight starts!!

And as Batman pulls out the inevitable piece of kryptonite, Metamorpho turns himself into a lead suit of armor encasing Kal-El, and together they show Batman that he's not quite ready to "defeat anyone if he has enough time" yet.

Sandman cold-cocks a powerless Hourman, and Metamorpho sneakily grabs Starman's Cosmic Rod, ending this little slugfest!!

So, our grand champion is...

...Team Superman!!

And it's all proven with irrefutable comic book logic!!

Thanks for putting up with this all week...

April Madness, 1st Semifinal--SHOCKER!!

It's time for the first semifinal of The Seven Justice Soldiers Of The Victory League Society!!

Can...

...defeat...

It should be trickier for team Superman this time around, as they have to face a true major league magic user!

And indeed, that's how it starts off, as Kal-El takes one of Dr. Fate's bolts of eldritch energy right to the face, and goes down!! Big trouble for the #1 seed!!

Ralph Dibny's nose starts smelling a mystery, which means he's helpless when he gets a snoutful of sleep gas from Sandman!!

Metamorpho turns into a super-dense mesh, temporarily trapping the Atom. So this battle may come down to Dr. Fate vs. Sandman!

But wait!! Sandman unleashes a punch so powerful, he actually dents Fate's helmet!! What the?!?! Team Superman wins--but how?!?

LOOK!! Sandman is taking off his gas mask--and he's really Superman!! INCREDIBLE!! It was the classic Silver Age tactic of switching identities before the fight, so Wesley Dodds would take the brunt of Doctor Fate's attack, leaving Superman free to take the sorcerer by surprise!!

What a classic!! Tune in later this morning for the second semifinal!!

April Madness Round I--No Surprises!

Welcome to the first round of The Seven Justice Soldiers of The Victory League Society, our insane little tournament that exists for no reason whatsoever!!

Our first round features:

vs.

That's Earth-2 Green Lantern, Earth-2 Robin/Batman in the most godawful costume ever, and Mr. Terrific.

It's no surprise, or at least it shouldn't be, that Kal-El's team is the top seed--any team that has a Kryptonian and a guy who turn turn his body into any shape and virtually any element is going to be pretty tough.

The other team? In the biggest pre-Crisis gathering of heroes ever, our creators couldn't even find a spot for these guys--they showed up late, and didn't even take part in any of the quests. Sad!!

In my completely arbitrary (and totally unappealable) view on how this fight would go, it's not too much of a contest. Alan Scott could perhaps give Superman a moment of trouble, as some tellings have his ring being magical in nature. But a quick spritz of sleep gas from Sandman would break his concentration, and Superman would smack him with a tree. Meanwhile, between bouts of laughter at Robin/Batman's costume, Metamorpho would make pretty quick work of the Man Wonder, leaving Mr. Terrific to cry about "FAIR PLAY" as he gets pummeled.

Our winner:

Can anyone stop the Superman group?

Tune in later today for another match!!

The Rich Are Different!

Just another day in the city...

He's got a point...

Don't be too mad at the guy--it turns out this was just a dream.

Still, he might want to look into openings in the Trump administration...

From All-Star Comics #15 (1943)

How The JSA Caused The Prison-Industrial Complex!!

Wonder how America became so addicted to incarceration? Blame the JSA!

Johnny Thunder is wandering around being a goofball, and one by one the members of the Justice Society go out looking for him.

And in every case, they run into vast pockets of crime--in the same city and the same issue!

First up, Flash deposits some crooks at the city jail:

Next, Doctor Fate drops off a gang:

Then, Sandman goes plumb loco:

See--right there!! The head cop explicitly says that the JSA are responsible for the prison-building boom!!

Oh, and the Atom adds on to the burgeoning prison population!

Two new jails?!? How much unsolved crime was there in this town, anyway?!?!?

Green Lantern contributes to the overcrowding:

Remember, this is all one issue!! The JSA, pretty much just by accident, catches enough crooks to force the city to build two new wings AND two new jails!!

Don't worry, though--the Spectre won't contribute to this problem...

...even in 1941, he just straight-up killed the bad guys he encountered!!

From All-Star Comics #6 (1941)

Quit Knocking On The 4th Wall, I'm Trying To Sleep!!

Yawn...long, long night. Had to right up big Bond movie reviews and Sherlock Holmes story reviews.

I'm looking forward to just lounging in bed all morning, and not doing anything important...

Geez, Flash, can't you handle anything by yourself? I'm trying to sleep in here!

*rolls over, pulls the cover over his head*

Dammit, Golden Age Sandman, you don't even exist in current continuity!! No way I'm getting out of bed to help you!!!

Geez Louise, Kal-El...you're wore than my neighbor's leaf blower! Can't a man just sleep in on Sunday morning anymore?

Well, it figures Hal Jordan would need my help. Moron...

OK, I'm up, I'm up. Maybe I'll just clean off the ever-growing list in my DVR...

Great, now I don't feel like watching anything. Maybe I'll just read some comics...

Oh, crap.

I guess I'll just go see SPECTRE again...