Smokin' In The Riverdale Boys' Room!!

Uh-oh...

You just know that this isn't going to end well...

Mr. Weatherbee apparently believes that his position as principal is just a stage from which he can issue harangues and pronouncements all day long...

Man. give some people a microphone...

Well, as per usual, Weatherbee is not the most effective or respected authority figure:

The girl's room isn't any better...

And what's Archie's position on this controversial issue?

Oh, Archie Andrews, you lovable doofus...

Anyway, thanks to this (and getting pelted by snowballs), the toughs give up smoking, and take up gum-chewing...with Weatherbee also does not approve of. Oh, Riverdale...

From Archie At Riverdale High #96 (1984)

Mnaic Monday Bonus--50 Shades Of Riverdale!

The ladies of Riverdale have a deep, dark secret...

Uhh...huh?

Good God, it's like a disease...and it's spreading...

From Jughead #283 (1978)

The Day Archie Andrews Became Foghorn Leghorn!!

Say, where has Archie been lately?

Oh, that's right, he's been down south!!

(Note to self: Make sure to add "not in the South" to my list of Riverdale location clues...)

Oh, how wrong you are!

But no matter the disdain that Reggie and Jughead show...

The ladies love Archie Southern-style!!

And not just Betty & Veronica!

And there's more...

Sad times for the non-drawling males of Riverdale!

Oh, no, this isn't going to go well, is it?

Oh, you poor dim lads...

From Reggie #16 (1964)

Manic Monday--No Moose Left Behind?

This cover raises some very troubling questions:

A) If we take Archie literally, can one really make it to their senior year in high school in Riverdale without once receiving a passing grade? In any subject?

B) If just a jest, it seems kind of cruel, with your class and your teacher and your principal grandly mocking your relative lack of academic achievement...No wonder Moose is always in such a pissy mood.

C) So, how many games do Riverdale High's sports teams have to go back and forfeit now, for using an ineligible player?

Laugh #242 is from 1971