Sic Semper Tyrannis!!

Because some mornings...

...you need to see Steve Rude draw the living hell out of Reed taking down a Galactus-sized Doctor Doom while yelling "Sic Semper Tyrannis!"

You're welcome.

Also, Rude drawing giant Doom taking on Fin Fang Foom, It The Living Colossus, and others...

From the same issue, Jorge Lucas giving us more Fin-on-Doom action!

From Fantastic Four:World's Greatest Comic Magazine #12 (2002)

Fantastic Fill-In #5--Reed Vs. Namor

To conclude our week of filling in for the delayed Fantastic Four #3 with material from Fantastic Four Annusl #1 (one of the greatest comics ever published!), how about some Reed versus Namor action?

Namor tried to conquer the surface world, and in fact even successfully invaded New York. But Reed come up with an invention that prevented the Atlantean forces from being able to breathe out of the water (except for Subby, natch--hybrid mutant and all that).

But the effort exhausted Reed, and he's convalescing in bed when Namor comes looking for revenge...

Heh. Namor calling out others for "arrogant self-confidence and conceit." Heh.

Later, over the sea...

BAM!!

Man, nothing is better than Reed vs. Namor!

Manic FF Monday--So, How Old Are The Fantastic Four?

Let's just get this out of the way:

Reed and Ben fought in World War II. Frak any "sliding timelines." Just say the cosmic rays gave them much longer lifespans.

See how easy that was? Let us never speak of that again.

Yeah, OK, but how old are they compared to each other?

See--Reed and Sue were "kids living next door to each other." They should be relatively close to the same age.

Except, in the very same issue, Stan screws it all up in on the letters page:

D'oh!

Granted, making Reed and Ben in their "late thirties" in 1963 fits well enough with their being in WWII.

But having Sue "in her twenties" suggests that she's at least a decade younger than Reed, which is pretty inconsistent with Reed describing them as "kids together." I mean, if I were 17 and had a neighbor who was 8, I wouldn't describe us as having been "kids together."

Famously, John Byrne did away with the "next door neighbors" bit, but kept the age gap:

A lot of people were creeped out by that, but let's note that: a) Reed, being a super-genius, almost certainly was a younger freshman than most people--16? Younger? b) Byrne doesn't do too good a job of artistically portraying a 12 year old--a Raggedy Ann doll? Really?--and makes Sue look younger than the script says she is. And honestly, a 12 year old having a crush on a 16 year old--and the 16 year old looking pretty uncomfortable about it--doesn't seem too creepy or abnormal to me.

A few years ago, Matt Fraction retconned things again, again dumpling the "grew up together" angle, but making Reed and Sue much closer to each other age-wise:

So, who knows what Slott et. al. will do now.

In summary, I guess the answer is, the Fantastic Four are as old as you want them to be.

Except Ben and Reed fought in WWII. That's non-negotiable.

From Fantastic Four #11 (1963), Fantastic Four #291 (1986), and Fantastic Four #4 ( 2013)

Friday Night Fights--Lo, There Shall Come An Ending Style!!

This week sees the final Friday Night Fights EVER.

And so, it is only fitting that we present the very, very last battle EVER between Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom.

Now, Doom has a really stupid plan to take over the world by mind-controlling all of the delegates at the United Nations. Because, I mean, you could hypnotize America's U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley to do your bidding, that wouldn't really do anything to take of the U.S., right? And the U.N by itself really doesn't rule the world in any meaningful way, does it? So...not Doom's best plan.

Still, he does have a pretty bitchin' Solartron Complex!!

And just in case you missed the foreshadowing...

So...

And Doctor Doom would never trouble the world again.

Spacebooger should be thanked sincerely and profusely for hosting Friday Night Fights for the last several years.

The final battle between Doom and Richards is from Fantastic Four #200 (1978), by Marv  Wolfman, the criminally underrated Keith Pollard, and Joe Sinnott

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? You'll never have another chance. So go and vote!!

Friday Night Fights--Vibranium Knuckles Style!!

We all get by with a little help with our friends, as this week's Friday Night Fights demonstrates.

It's Klaw's first appearance as a being made of sound, and, well, he's kinda of whoopin' on the Fantastic Four...

Hey, that's Luke Skywalker's line!!

Anyway, Reed is right, as a FedEx package arrives...

Mr. Fantastic with vibranium brass knuckles...outtasight!!

Spacebooger says that no matter how good the MCU's Black Panther is, he'd be even better with the FF for friends...

Klaw's knuckle sandwich from Fantastic Four #56 (1966), by Stan, Jack and Joe.

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Maybe T'Challa will rocket you some special gifts if you do!! So go vote!!

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Old Order Changeth ...QUICKLY!!

Reminder...

...at one point this was the Avengers line-up. Yeesh.

It is perhaps telling about how short-lived that line-up was that this pin-up didn't appear until months after that line-up had been shuffled offstage. Oops.

Also telling is that Jackson Guice had absolutely no idea what to do with Gilgamesh, so he just gets buried in the background. No wonder he was the Forgotten One!!

As for the idea of Reed being a hammock for sun-bathing/cheesecakey Sue, well, the less said the better. I'm pretty sure, from that look on his face, that Cap doesn't approve, either.

From Marvel Fanfare #45 (1989)

What If Reed Richards Starred In 1950s Horror Comics?!?

I've said many times before that the true genius of Stan and company was how they built the early days of the Marvel Universe by subverting tropes from horror magazines and turning them 90 degrees or so.

You want a prime example? How about Steve Ditko's first story, back in 1954? It's the story of how Reed Richards would have turned out had he appeared in a horror comic and not a super-hero joint.

Since childhood, poor Lawrence Dawson had been plagued by "brittle bones," which led to constant injuries, leaving him an embittered man. Until his doctor calls him with a miracle cure...

Well, you shouldn't have scoffed, Larry!

Now, if this were 1961, and Stan were writing this tale, you'd expect something like this to follow:

But no, it's a horror story, not a hero story, and Dawson goes full evil. He's not just going to use his powers to get rich (really?), but...

That's pretty damned ungrateful, Larry!

Oh dear.

He goes on the run...

...but it's easy enough for Mr. Not-So-Fantastic to escape!

But do you remember what your mother taught you? Stop making that face or...

...you'll be stuck like that forever!!

And things get worse...

Rough day. But hey, at least you don't have any broken bones!

Dawson remembers a famous scientist who might be able to cure him...

But...

So, of course, why not resort to murder again?!?

The police figure out who the pliable perp is, but when they get to his crib:

Hey, Josh Trank and Fox--if you wanted to make the Fantastic Four as "body horror," well, this 1954 comic had more balls than you did.

So that was the true genius of Stan and company. They took characters who just a few years earlier would have turned to evil and died gruesome deaths--the FF, Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, etc--and turned the stories around so they didn't become evil and overcame their tragedies to become heroes, instead of a puddle of flesh quivering on the floor.

From Fantastic Fears #5 (1954), as reprinted in Strange Suspense: The Steve Ditko Archives Volume 1 (2009)