Not As Elemental As Metamorpho, Not As Good A Shot As Green Arrow, Not...

You have to give DC house ads of the late 1960s one thing: they could be cheeky and self-aware as all get out:

Well, technically, that could apply to 99% of the people in the world, so it would be a pretty terrible Jeopardy answer (Who are 3 people who have never been in my kitchen, Alex?)

 So whom are we pushing today?

Oh, Plas...Even in one of the rare instances when DC was actually publishing you, they could only market you by telling everyone that you're not as good as their "real" heroes...

From Capt. Storm #17 (1967)

Manic Labor Day--If Batman Can Have One...

Superman is tooling around Metropolis, minding his own beeswax, when:

That someone being--Plastic Man and Jimmy Olsen!

What they couldn't just paint it, or cut up some paper, or...?

Anyway, who's going to clean up that searchlight, which is now covered with Plas' sweat and ooze and...

Ewwww....

From Superman #110 (1996)

Why You Don't Tug On Superman's Cape!

Last month we saw how criminals coveted Supergirl's cape for using in their dastardly deeds.

Well, it's not just common criminals.

Billionaire siblings Treasure and Tiger Hunt have manipulated Plastic Man and Clark Kent into taking mysterious devices to Superman...

It turns out they were working independently of each other...

But why?!?

After Tiger's robot is swiftly smashed...

And...? AND...?!?! C'mon, comic book, spill the twist!!

So that is why you don't tug on Superman's cape--it might really be Plastic Man!!!

From Superman #110 (1996)

Manic Monday--Who Needs A Medusa Mask?!?

Psycho Pirate, you've met your match:

OK, at least when it comes to sadness.

Phil Sanders was a small-time crook who escaped from Plastic Man, and his mug...well, it was almost tear-inducing.

Sanders has been keeping to the straight-and-narrow for awhile to evade capture. But then there's an ad in the paper...

Well, mopey-faced Sanders gets the role...

...but the director thinks he can make him look even sadder!

And damn, is it effective!

And so Sanders begins a crime-spree marked by...tears!

Fortunately, the effects aren't permanent...

"The subtlest form of hold-up!"

Well, worry not, dear readers. Plas fakes his own death, because he knows Sanders had promised to laugh at his funeral. Spell broken!! And then with a little help from a feathered friend...

Of course, in 2017, one could achieve much the same effect by showing people videos of sad kittens on your phone...

From Plastic Man #20 (1949)

Manic Monday--Yeah, It's Monday...

Some mornings are like this...

Happy Monday!!

From Police Comics #16 (1943)

A Horse Of A Different Color?

A small-time crook known as Horseface has the ability to hypnotize horses to do his bidding, enabling him to fix races.

Horse hypnosis is tough to prove, though, so Plastic Man has to come up with a plan...

Oh, dear.

The racetrack announcer is a little bit unkind...

Uh...cheating much?

Oops!

And thus ended Horseface's reign of winning big money by betting on underdogs!!

From Plastic Man #12 (1948)