Still Better Than The Tom Cruise Version!

What am I grateful for this Thanksgiving?

Me, I'm thankful Sal Buscema got to draw Cap and the Falcon using swords & shields to carve up telepathic mummies.

From Captain America #166 (1973)

When Does This Doctor Get His Own Movie?!?

Because some mornings...

...you just need to see a Walt Simonson-drawn Dr. Fate beat the crap out of a big-ass mummy!

BONUS: Joe Kubert cover!!

You're welcome.

From 1st Issue Special #9 (1975)

Manic Monday Bonus--Intergalactic Conquerors Are Stupid!!

One of the joys of being an early Marvel Universe scientist is that you can have any damn stupid theory in the world, and still get taken seriously.

Take, for example, Paul Kentworth:

Sure, right, OK.

Well, after several pages of romance, adventure and intrigue:

Uhhh, so the bad news is: theory completely wrong. No Nobel for you, Paul.

Oh, and you're going to die now...

But fortunately for Paul (and the Earth)...aliens are bone-stupid:

So, those aliens in Signs who invaded Earth even though water killed them---it wasn't just that they were stupid. All alien invaders chose to invade planets that are almost immediately poisonous to them! Someone owes M. Night Shyamalan an apology for mocking that particular plot point!!

Oh, one other thing:

Archaeologists, even when they're completely wrong, always get the girl!!

From Tales To Astonish #31 (1962)

Are You My Mummy?

Archaeologist Robert Nesmith has made a startling discovery--the tomb of evil sorcerer pharaoh Amen-Tut!!

Well, because they didn't realize that they were in a horror magazine, they brought Amen-Tut's mummy back to America for display...and of course he came to life, slaughtering all of those responsible for "violating" his tomb.

Until, in his last stop before taking over the world, he stops by Nesmith's crib:

But it turns out that shambling, bandage-wrapped corpses aren't so tough, after all:

Let's hope they remember this scene for the upcoming Mummy reboot...

From Eerie #30 (1970)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--How To Defeat A Ditko-Drawn Mummy!!

Dilettante Egyptologist Ambrose Moss has "discovered" what he has been hunting for his whole life--the long-lost tomb of evil pharaoh Asosis II!

Well, as he's about to find out, he didn't so much "discover" it, as he was "lead there my kindly native who turns out really be an evil priest." Happens all the time...

Well, that's not good.

So how, exactly, do you stop a Ditko-drawn mummy from stealing your body?

Well, it helps to live near an airport or military base...

My blog is sooooo educational, because today we've learned that: MUMMIES CAN BE DESTROYED BY SONIC BOOMS!!!!!

Turn in later for more ways to destroy mummies...

From The Many Ghosts of Doctor Graves #27 (1971), as reprinted in Beyond The Grave #13 (1984)